Mama's Arms

True to her word, when you wake you see Fiona seated at what you now assumed had been her usual chair over these past six weeks. Your sister looked exhausted and you wonder how long you had slept. Your mother sits to your other side but the two of them may as well have been sitting in separate rooms. They don't acknowledge each other's presence and a thick tension fills the room. Both of them obviously wishing the other wasn't there, but both of them there in their shared love and concern for you. The curtains to the window had been drawn shut but you could just get a peek outside to see it was evening.

"Mmmm." You shift and rub your eyes.

Both your mother and sister sit forward, each of them grabbing the hand closest to them. Fiona stands and leans in over you. "Good morning lover." She whispers as she kisses you.

"Good morning." You croak. Squeezing your mother's hand you look her way. "Good morning Mom."

She smiles a guilty smile. You could tell she was not proud of having ran out the way she had. "It's evening baby boy. Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm hmm" You nod.

She stands as well but does not approach as Fiona had you in a hug at the moment. She wheels a bed tray closer to you. "They just served supper. You hungry sweetie?"

"Um, actually. Yes. I am starving."

She waits patiently for Fiona to finish with you. In her tone and in her body language she was much more humble than before. Being ignored so completely during Chloe's blow job had surely struck her motherly ego a blow, but you could also tell she was none too happy with how you and Fiona were holding each other either. She stares at a random spot on the wall as she waits.

Fiona kisses you again. "Baby, I am bushed. I'm going to go get some shut eye myself. You okay?"

You give her a long hug. "Of course. I'm okay now Fiona, you don't have to stay all the time. Look after yourself."

"Good advice. You wouldn't be failing your classes if you were practical for once in your life." Your mother snipes at her daughter under her breath.

Your sister tenses in your arms. She lets out a long hissing breath through her nose and ignores the comment. Kissing your cheek she whispers. "Don't listen to her baby. She wants to break us up."

"Yes Goddess." You reply obediently.

"I'll miss you baby."

"I'll miss you too."

Fiona holds you, strokes you, and kisses you once more before reluctantly leaving to get some rest of her own. She doesn't even give her mother a glance. As she leaves she puts on her sunglasses and a ball cap. You also notice she had a dress on now. Someone must have brought one for her. Covered up were the ball hugging yoga pants she had strutted in here with so boldly. Your appeal to her had worked. The Bailey's were back in hiding.

As the door swings closed behind her your mother lets out a breath and the blanket of awkward tension lifts from the room. She wheels the tray over you as you raise the back of your bed up into a sitting position. You look on the tray and are disappointed to see a little bowl of red jello, a glass of water, and a glass of some thick chalky white liquid.

Your mother smiles sympathetically. "They say you'll be eating normal by tomorrow." She follows your gaze to the white substance. "I guess it has protein and all sorts of good stuff in it. I tried a little. It's vanilla flavored. When you can eat I'll bring you whatever you want."

She goes to pull away but you reach out and grab her hand. She looks up into your eyes, seemingly frightened of what she might see. You pull her closer.

"Sweetie, you should eat." She says with a fragile smile.

Without saying a word you shift her way and bring her into an embrace. She does not hesitate to hug you back. Everything about her was soft and familiar. Her gentle touch, her thick squishy body, the smell of her moisturizing soap, even just that little happy **** hum she made when she'd first squeeze you tight. Memories...no, not quite memories. Even more foundational. The ground upon which later memories would be laid was here in your mother's tender embrace. Before your first thought or emotion the reality of this encompassing embrace was your world.

The room falls quiet as you let your mother just hold you. It is not long before you feel a tear rolling down her plump cheek touch your own. A tear of relief and maternal joy. Without even realizing it she very slightly begins to rock you back and forth. You hold onto her tight.

As absolutely wonderful as this was you were doing it for her. You couldn't imagine what she had gone through almost losing a child. Her only son and the child she doted upon and sheltered more than the others. You were her baby boy and you knew that she needed to know on a deeper level than a doctor's report that you were truly okay. Letting her hold you as she was now was the only way you knew to communicate it. Holding your healthy willing body in her arms let her soul understand what her mind already knew. Her Jesse was going to be okay.

And on some level you knew you needed this too. Things were confusing now. Things were changing. As exciting as you were to be with Fiona, change also brought about uncertainty. But with your mother's warm soft body enveloping yours you knew beyond all doubt that THIS...this would never change. Your mother might be twisted, she might rant, she might rave, she might even throw you out on your ass, but deep down where it really counted she loved you like only a mother could.

A minute passes...then two...then ten. Neither of you in any hurry to rush this special moment.

In this cocoon of motherly love and security you feel the strange vague new instincts Fiona had dredged up inside you begin to actually take shape. There was a power and purity in a mother's love that spoke to you. You yearned to feel what your mother was feeling now. You wanted to be there for someone like she was here for you. You wanted to soothe someone like she was soothing you. There was such a selfless...dignity to it. To have someone grow inside you, to be a part of you, to teach them and raise them, and then to have to let them go. What could be more powerful and humbling than that?

You wanted to be a mother.

But for now you were still the progeny.

You let out a long happy sigh and snuggle in tighter, wrapped safely in Mama's arms.