Make universities very special

As on the day of discovery of the Rulebook, you decide not to give yourself the chance to overthink it and miss the fun. You rush to your bedroom and grab the Rulebook; moments later you are at your desk with the latest page open and a pencil in your hand.

“Old Rule: Higher education communities have very relaxed views of sexual behaviour; while it is still largely kept to private places it is never seen as shameful in itself. Students are almost never sexually exclusive and their long term partners see it as a normal part of the student experience even if they are not students themselves.”

“Old Rule: Institutions use a variety of methods to prevent higher education students from forming a condescending view of those lacking such. While there are exceptions to both groups, for males the emphasis is on social work and often manual labour; for females it is on humiliating rules and unpleasant chores as well as sexual service.”

“Old Rule: the above two Rules apply to an increasingly higher degree as students ascend the academic ladder; both are also designed to make an impact on the overall student experience but not interfere majorly with the academic process itself.”

As before, there are no immediate changes you can discern. You feel a lot calmer this time, though. Maybe it is because you have done this before; maybe you do not expect to be affected by any changes directly this time. You have not even been accepted for your course yet. When you look at your graduation photos, however, you see the Rules have taken effect, although the changes are minor and limited to a few more other girls losing their clothes partially or fully under the punishment-tailored graduation gowns. Your own smiling and bare-breasted image is much the same.

As you still have a bit of time you run a few online searches; you also need to re-check your emails to see if anything has changed regarding your appointment. The results of the former are amazing. There are news on stricter limits on what female students may wear being put in place; reports about how many tonnes of berries were hand-picked by the most laborious team of students (the photo under this features several young men and two women); your eye is then caught by an image of a line of postgraduates nude on their knees on a Sunday league football pitch ready to lift community spirits after the game. Interestingly one in the group is a male, presumably there to satisfy the needs of any players preferring same sex companionship. This particular duty was done by volunteers, but the Rulebook hepfully suggests that similar events are routinely run as compulsory too. A photo from a student party beats even that, however. The girl in the focus is with more partners of both genders at once than you have had for your entire life... your old life, at least, as you feel your new memories of your own undergraduate time making their way to the surface.

Your search of your email yields results less dramatic but much more relevant to you right now. You find out that candidates to the university must adhere to the dress code of the group they aim to join. This sends you into a frantic search for the female PhDs dress code; soon you realise you will need to change from your essentially conservative business outfit. Underwear is allowed but is restricted to thongs and strings in practical terms, as there is a limit on how much of the buttock it can cover. That will not be a problem as you have plenty of those; neither will be a bra, since only ladies with breasts over a certain threshold are entitled to them and you miss it by quite some margin. There are no restrictions on the types of tops, but only one layer is allowed indoors (bras for the lucky ones do not count). Obviously if the top is long enough to cover one below the waist, the rules for bottoms will apply to it.

And this is where you see potential for trouble. You simply do not own anything short enough and yet bearing the resemblance of formality strictly required. The smaller of the skirts and dresses are very obviously party clothing. Suddenly a bright idea occurs to you; your neighbour downstairs is a postgraduate student herself and not far from your size, you should be able to borrow something... but the magic of the Rulebook tells you it will not be so easy. Practically all universities require students to live on campus now and she has moved away last year. Damn. You are starting to get worried now and frantically scan through the text and diagrams of the dress code hoping to find something to help you out of this. You have a glimmer of hope when you see the section titled “Alternatives to skirts and dresses” but it turns out to be about pants made out of the heat-retaining yet fully transparent fabric you have seen before on punished ladies who needed protection; you do not own a pair and in any case they are only allowed as a cold weather alternative. It feels like it is time to panic.

And then you see it. It is perfectly permitted to wear less rather than more although voluntary full nudity is not recommended except on special occasions. This is exactly what you needed; if you have no appropriate clothing you will just forgo it. You strip quickly and instead put on a thong and a jumper reaching about half-way down your butt. It might look bare from some angles and you certainly did not expect you will be meeting your supervisor for the first time dressed like this but beggars cannot be choosers, right now your own other option is to erase the latest rules and regret it for years to come. After all, being in your underwear in public is far from the worst humiliation you suffered in the last months.

You give yourself another look in the mirror, check your papers, and with no time to spare now get out of your flat.