Maddie and Trevor address Part 1

I sit on the edge of the bed, staring listlessly down at that innocuous bit of white string trailing down from my pussy. Trevor comes in from the hallway and stops in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

I grimace. "Not the greatest. Now I'm questioning everything we discussed."

"Do...Do you want to go back? Revisit the vet? I imagine it only gets worse from here."

"No. No, I'm a big girl. I'll survive." I manage a smile for him. "It's just...cramps and mood swings, you know? Everything passes in time."

"Right, well... I'm not sure this is going to help your mood. You've got some more criticism, this time from Rowana and Azzie--you remember, the characters from Pipe-weed Dreams. They read through your story, specifically the 'intern' branch, and...I wouldn't exactly call them fans."

I pat the bed next to me. He sits, tablet in hand. "I suppose I should respond," I say.

"So this is going to be a little weird," says Trevor. "Discussing a story you wrote about...you."

"Me...and yet, not me. An alternate. A possibility. If it matters, let's call her 'Madison', to distinguish the two of us."

"Alright, then I guess we can start."

READING THE REVIEW

But yeah, this isn't our kink. I was a slave. I want Maddie to escape and lead the rebellion, maybe start by killing her parents.

"Actual slavery isn't kinky, it's scary. Not in a horror movie scary way, but in a this-is-too-close-to-reality way. I guess I say I like my slave kink fiction to have at least some kind of freedom of choice," Azzie said. "This...doesn't. She's just a victim."

"It's degrading," Rowana said firmly. "But not in a way that I personally find sexy."

"Honestly, suicide would be a good option in this scenario," Rowana said. "Seriously, fuck this entire storyline."

I feel like if someone wants to open themselves up to being used, that's hot, but the moment where they have no choice in the matter, it ceases to be sexy and starts to be sexual assault.

"Ah, yes," I say. "What would you call this genre? Sadism, I guess--following a mostly non-masochistic character as they're forced to suffer the most degrading shit. Pushed to its most extreme conclusion by, well, Sade--but there are other writers, other works, that take a gentler approach. Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. Much more recently, authors like Badger Therese. Lena White. Paige Bond. The mailgirl sub-genre. The 'intern' path is basically a mailgirl story with the serial numbers filed off. It's...not for everyone. It clearly holds no appeal for Rowana or Azzie."

The thing about BDSM, it's all consent-based. A game you play, a role you slip into. Nobody actually owns you. It isn't legally binding. Everyone's an adult about it, they understand it's a kink

"It's interesting," says Trevor. "I wonder if BDSM stories can be split in two. You have stories that follow people in 'real life' practicing actual BDSM with proper consent. Think Fifty Shades, although that might not be the best example given some of its problems. Then there's the stories that embody the underlying fantasy, what some--not all--practitioners envision when they're roleplaying. Actual sadism. Actual slavery. Actual masochism. Like the difference between a story following a group of people playing Dungeons and Dragons versus a story set in the Forgotten Realms. Maybe sometimes these get conflated."

"Maybe," I say, "but even if the BDSM label should only be applied to the former, well...I did choose to place this story in the 'Power Play' category instead."

"I want back and checked," Azzie said. "We have no idea what Gadsden, the multinational with tens of thousands of employees, actually does."

"Yeah, what the hell does your dad's company actually do anyway?" asks Trevor.

"I think they mostly manufacture chemicals, pharmaceuticals, a few other things," I respond. "There are a few hints in this branch and elsewhere, but ultimately, I don't believe it's all that relevant--not to Madison's role, which could exist unchanged within any number of different corporate environments or other power structures."

And I'm going to further assume this explains some of the weird pacing issues. This is actually a sex slave universe tale and several important elements were probably previously explained in other paths and aren't present here because [REDACTED] either figured everyone had read the previous paths or they're in their head and they forgot to put them down on the page.

"I think the complete acceptance of this situation by everyone is part of what makes it so fucking annoying," Azzie said. "No one blinks at her being a second-class citizen, we still don't know if she was sold outright or if her parents realize shit is happening, her boyfriend enjoys his girlfriend being a corporate whore, and yet the people taking advantage of this do so in half-assed ways."

"Speaking from someone in a cyberpunk dystopia, we get the whole corporate slavery thing," Rowana said. "But we've had centuries of steadily declining rights to get culturally adjusted to this whole fucking thing. This just happened three years ago. And it's not being fought against. Maddy isn't fighting against it. But she's not enjoying it either."

"It wasn't even three years ago," says Trevor. "All the craziness begins only a month before the start of the story, which is why Madison is unaware of anything strange until it starts happening to her." He purses his lips in thought. "I wonder where the three years came from? Did they misread Madison's three-year lease to the company?"

"In theory, any of the branches can be read in isolation," I say. "I certainly tried to write them that way. In the case of the intern branch, it seems I dropped the ball. Over the course of the other paths, certain characters note how insane most people have suddenly become--to accept these radical changes to society, the introduction of these slave contracts, the degradation of these young women--as though a switch was turned in almost everyone's head, leaving a few unaffected individuals. Those same reactions are present in this path, but more muted--probably too muted. In any case--spoilers for a different path I doubt Rowana and Azzie are ever going to read--surprise! Turns out Beast of Burden was a rape device mind control story like so many others on this site, but with a subversive intention where the main character is neither the controller nor one of the ones being controlled. That path offers answers and some catharsis--well, depending on the reader, I suppose. Rowana and Azzie would probably not find that conclusion particularly satisfying."

"Wait." Trevor frowns. "You actually know why everything's so screwed up?"

"Uh...ignore that! Pretend I didn't say anything!"

And Maddie is surprisingly cool with it, which is not really in character. If she were a closet submissive, or if they had been manipulating her, it would be more explicable, but it feels like this ratcheted up very quickly and not in a cool way.

The fact that she chooses now, after all the sucking and spanking, to finally start having a hissy fit, feels way too late.

"And here we come to one key issue they have with the story," says Trevor. "It's expected they would hate all the people around Madison making her life a living nightmare. But they also really don't like Madison, herself--her passivity especially."

"I think there are a few things going on here. First...well, we're both familiar with Pipe-weed Dreams at this point. We have a pretty good read on Rowana's and Azzie's personalities. Fairly straightforward. Direct. In Azzie's case, she knows exactly what she wants. Rowana is a little less certain, but once either of them has made up their mind about something, they go for it. And they're both willing to employ ludicrous amounts of violence in pursuit of their aims." I shake my head. "Not everyone is like that. Sometimes, people are scared of confrontation or change. Sometimes, people are stupid--i.e. sleepwalking through life in a stupor. Not everyone is inclined to tackle their problems head on, especially not with violence.

"But also, a big part of their dislike comes from another key issue they discuss--the stakes."

This feels like something where Maddie needs to be able to make more choices to stay in her situation than she has shown, and for that she needs more information sooner. It's a very different story if she's persisting in her sex slavery to help her family out, or because she has a submissive kink, versus being sold to the company directly with no choice in the matter.

This isn't even normal corporate imprisonment. There is no contract signed that we can see. Maddie doesn't get warned about what might happen to her parents if she doesn't obey. It's really not a well-thought-out corporate sex intern program, and that lack of thought is more upsetting than if she were literally imprisoned by some sadists.

We can't feel the bars of this cage, and that is fucking pissing me off.

Like, if she bit his cock off right now, would she be in for a paddling? Internship canceled? Family has to pay back the money? An electric shock and some attitude adjustment? We don't fucking know!

"In the background of this story," I continue, "sinister forces are continually playing with Madison in this sick, twisted game, and we're limited to her point of view. She's aware that this is happening, but her personality guides her towards risk aversion, a crippling fear of confronting the unknown. Actually knowing the stakes, the boundaries of her cage, the potential consequences for her disobedience--even if they were the worst outcomes she could imagine--would probably make her more likely to act, not less." I sigh. "This, at least, is the justification in my head for her passivity. But I can understand if Rowana and Azzie do not find that convincing."

"And I assume," says Trevor, "that this explains why the information--about the stakes, the contract, the punishments, everything--is drip fed to Madison at the pace that it is. But I think I'm more inclined to take their view on this approach. It would be an immensely frustrating experience for the reader locked inside Madison's head, especially one who has no faith in the writer to deliver those revelations eventually."

"I know that was a half-assed joke, but it would have more meaning if her virginity had been stated as actual corporate property," Azzie said with a frown.

"Oof," I say. "Yeah, I've regretted that line almost from the moment I wrote it. I've been very tempted to remove it, even though I almost never change what I've written after the fact except for typos. It's stupid. It's corny. And it's not that Madison doesn't suspect at this point that the company would consider her virginity--among other things--as theirs; it's that she's actively suppressing all such thoughts as much as she can at this point in the story. A very out-of-character moment, but perhaps it should remain as a monument to my shame."

"I knew this was coming and I still hate it," Azzie said. She closed her eyes. "MADDY'S SUBMISSIVE SEXUAL FANTASIES WERE NOT WELL ESTABLISHED EARLY ON AND IN NO WAY SUFFICIENTLY TO JUSTIFY HER FUCKING BEING SOLD TO A GODDAMN CORPORATION AS A WHORE."

"I do feel like I must defend myself here," I continue. "Azzie is right, of course--any submissive tendencies Madison has cannot justify what has happened. Nothing can. And those tendencies were always meant to be a very minor part of her character--just enough to make her hesitate until she encounters Kacey and the existence of slave contracts, at which point her crippling fear becomes the primary factor immobilizing her. That said, this line is spoken by Madison's sister, who has an incredibly warped view of things at this stage of the story. It's certainly not a premise Madison herself accepts."

"So they've made it halfway through this branch," Trevor points out, "though they do plan to finish it."

"There are certainly more revelations to come," I say, "and Madison does eventually begin to resist, in her own indirect way. But, honestly, given the opinions they've offered about the story up to this point, I would be very shocked if they come around in the second half and decide the plot's been redeemed."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to see."

"Rowana, Azzie, I apologize for the suffering I've put you through," I say. "I hope that--despite all--we can be cross-dimensional pals."