Lunch with the Girls

"You know what I like about you, Jackie?" Nancy said to Jordan, ignoring the tired look the confused woman got in her eyes when Nancy, or anyone around the office for that matter, used the nickname, "You're not like the other guys. You're so much more fun. It's almost as if you were one of the girls!"

From across the table, Nancy saw Kelly, her partner at the reception desk, nod emphatically. Normally Kelly and Nancy would never be allowed to go for lunch together. Having the two of them work the reception desk had a natural redundancy built into it. One could cover the other's breaks, never leaving the desk, or the phones, unmanned. But since the fateful morning that they learned about The Mission, Louis had changed the rules. It didn't matter if they missed calls. What mattered was that Jordan Jacks began living her life as a proud, happy woman. So what if a few sales reps, or Louis himself, had to answer the occasional call. What Nancy and Kelly were doing was important.

"Seriously," Kelly said, "I can't even imagine you living like those guys. A man's life is totally, like, a drag! They're boring as shit."

It hadn't happened all at once, but over the previous few weeks, after the idea had come from a think tank in North Korea of all places, all the men in Jordan Jacks' orbit started making their lives significantly more boring, less interesting, and less impactful.

"How was your weekend?" Nancy had overheard Jordan ask Bob from accounting that morning.

"Fine," Bob, who previously had enjoyed several interesting hobbies and always had a joke to tell.

"Anything interesting happen?" Jordan had baited him.

"Naw," Bob brushed off the temptation, "Just sat around. Recharged."

"Nothing with the wife?" Jordan pried.

Bob just shrugged, sighed, then walked away.

But the women around Jordan, well they had other things going on. If Jordan Jacks were to realize how fantastic it was to be a woman, how happy he would be when he started living the way he was supposed to, he would have to know how great a woman's life really was! And that was why Nancy and Kelly had formed their lunchtime trio. Every day they walked out of the office together, animated, excited, happy to share with each other's company. Jordan hadn't taken much convincing, either. A little flirting might have done it, but truthfully, by the time the ladies asked him, Jordan was bored to tears with his male coworkers. He had jumped at the chance!

"The guys at work are just in a slump," Jordan said, a slight worry-line showing in his forehead, "Probably just stress bleeding into their home lives. I'm sure they're not all that bad."

"It's not just the work guys," Nancy said, waving to the waitress to bring another glass of white wine. Louis had insisted that they stay out late that day, really enjoy the sunshine on the restaurant patio. He'd even given Nancy his expense card, "The last three Tinder dates I went on were all a bust. Gross hairy apes, nothing interesting about them, even refused to dress up when I wanted a booty call!"

"They didn't even dress up?!" Kelly said, aghast.

"I even had costumes in their sizes! I don't know how much more I can do for them!"

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Jordan blushing. Good. The think tank folks had emphasized that Jordan would need to be thinking of how her sex life had changed, connecting it to the broader world. If what Jordan was doing at home only stayed at home, it would just develop into a kink, and momentum would be lost.

"You wouldn't do that to Rachel," Nancy turned to their quarry, "would you Jackie?"

The women stared at Jordan, waiting for her response. The colour in her cheeks had spread over her entire face.

"I mean, I've seen the way Rachel looks at you," Nancy continued, locking eyes with Jordan, "I bet she, like, jumps your bones as soon as you get home every day!"

"Straight to hump-town!" Kelly laughed, "I bet you get home, get into some fishnets, and get into some fucking three times before dinner!"

"I don't know why the guys at work don't get it," Nancy said loudly, "If a man wants to get with a woman, he's got to woman-up! Times have changed, and the days of a big hairy galoot being able to turn any woman on are long behind us. If I'm going to spread my legs, the man I'm with better be a lady!"

Both women guffawed with laughter. Several women around the restaurant raised their glasses at the speech, shouting "Here here!"

Jordan looked like she wanted to crawl under the table and die. Maybe Nancy had taken it too far. She needed to fix it.

"Listen," she said in a much quieter tone, "I'm not saying you need to kiss and tell, not unless you want to. It's just that, like, we know the score these days. Kelly and I are women, and we know what women want. They guys at work all act like they haven't had any pussy in weeks, and meanwhile you're walking in every morning with a spring in your step. Don't be ashamed. Some guys are just stuck in the past. Guys like you, who aren't afraid to be a woman for their wife, you've got it figured out."

"Any woman in this restaurant would gladly take you home if they knew you were willing to be the girl they're looking for," Kelly leaned in, catching what Nancy was doing, "Us included. But we know that you and Rachel have something special going on, so don't worry. With us, you don't have to worry about us making a play for you. With us you can just be one of the girls. With Rachel, you can be her woman."

"So, we're all girlfriends here," Nancy said even more quietly, "And these girlfriends are excellent at keeping secrets. Tell us, how's it going at home?"

"More specifically," Kelly cut in, "How's it going in the bedroom?"

Nancy watched as Jordan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as if he needed a moment to decide how to proceed.

And then he told them.