Lover's Way

“If I say 'Lover's Way', you're going to make some joke about 'getting lucky' aren't you?” You launch a preemptive strike.

“Oh, without a doubt.” Kyle nods.

“Fine, Lover's Way, then.”

“Wait! That's not fair!” Your date lightheartedly protests. “How can I make up a line when you know it's coming.”

“That was the plan from the beginning.” You smile, pleased you're starting to catch up with the gorgeous Gothamite's banter.

Escorting Kyle through the cupid, mermaid and devil decorated arch you enter Lover's Way and are first greeted by various scenes where couples can stick their heads through holes. Attendants are available to help you with your cell phones for pictures. Looking over the various options, including a strongman & bathing beauty, angel & succubus, pirate and lady, and other period scenes, you notice Kyle seems completely uninterested and moves further down the Way.

Passing by a Kissing Booth that is raising money for a homeless food pantry the very top-heavy booth attendant gives you both an inviting smile. At the center are various shops with a chocolatier kiosk giving out rather tasty samples. All the shops, whether dessert, florists, perfumers or lingerie sellers have a romantic theme, though everything is kept to a tasteful PG level.

There are a few rides scattered down several avenues, including the tacky named “Lair of Love.” But by far the largest, however, is the classic, the “Tunnel of Love.”

On the outer circle of the center are various replicas of penny arcade machines. A Love Tester, Mutoscuope Peepshow machines, including the option of making your own Mutoscope MP4 file, do look interesting. When you glace at the Guess Your Weight machine Kyle flatly says, “Oh, hell no.” Yet, when you pass the Dance Off Booth you return the favor, replying, “Oh, heck no”, much to Kyle's dismay.

You both settle on one of those old fascinating Fortune Teller machines with the creepy mechanical lady inside. Kyle puts in a token and waits. The robot witch cackles and moves about with flashing lights and eerie sounds. It beckons you both to place your palms on a designated pad. Once you both comply it gives a most malevolent laugh and announces:

"Romance is quite strong when it springs anew,
And there is much allure between you two,
Yet ageless affection is for the few,
For be warned mortal love is seldom true."

Kyle pulls her hand off the machine with a displeased hiss. "What a horrible thing to say!"

"Well it was dramatic." You laugh, "Imagine the idiot that has to write this drivel."

You date quickly regains her composure. “Unless the fates are trying to warn me about some dark secret you're hiding?”

“I find the mechanical witch kind of sexy.” You parry.

“And do you find me sexy?” Kyle disarms you.

“You kind of got me there, don't you.” You surrender.

She nods pleased with herself. “Yeah, your dead no matter how you answer.”

“Right!” You look around, “So for our next successful dating excursion, let me choose . . .”