The Tunnel of Love

“I have always wondered what exactly is in a Tunnel of Love?” You ask sincerely. “Is it the Small World ride but with more pink and hearts?”

“Only one way to find out.” Kyle replies.

“True enough.” You go up and pay for two tickets.

Once inside you are greeted by a muscular topless male, and shapely bikini top female, attendants in Arabic genie outfits. You're instructed to sit in a small single seat boat that travels on tracks right below a shallow waterline. Besides the usual warnings about “keeping you hands inside the vehicle at all times” and that there will be“sudden moves” on the ride, they insist that you have to be on the left side and your date on the right. Complying you enter first and help Kyle to sit by your side.

The seat is soft and well paddled, though small in length, forcing you to sit close. Since there is a good deal of distance between each boat it takes a few seconds before you and your date float down into the tunnel.

Once away you turn a corner and are greeted by large intimidating satyr, devil like, creature that guards a black iron gate that blocks further passage. The mechanical beast stirs to life with an amused daunting laugh.

“Greeting mortals!” It bellows. “You travel upon a dangerous path that many a soul has trod, but heed the warnings of the ancients, that 'How blind to consequences is the love of vicious indulgence! The future is disregarded; the present allures us to a short-lived enjoyment, and lust, forgetful of future suffering, hurries us along the forbidden path.'"

“Hmm.” You ponder out loud, loving a challenge as the gate miraculously swings open just before the boat is about to hit it. “The ancients, huh. Latin, probably imperial.” Your mind races as you enter the dark tunnel with a single flickering light behind you. “Martial, maybe Juvenal, I don't think it's Ovid, though it could be Claudian. Well there is always google.” As you reach for your cell phone your date grabs your right hand with her left. “What?” You ask.

“So, let me get this right.” Kyle moves your hand away from your pocket to your shoulder with an incredulous glare. “You are sitting in a boat with me, while I'm wearing this dress, as we go through the Tunnel of Love and after hearing a quote about lust your first thought is to play Jeopardy on your phone with a bunch of dead white guys?”

“Literary knowledge about antiquity is no longer an effective method of impressing the ladies?” You're pleased with the quickness of your reply.

The boat violently and suddenly turns right. Kyle gives a surprised gasp and falls into you. Because she is already halfway turned towards you, and your right hand is up, she lands chest to chest against you, as your left hand instinctively grabs around her waist. Both your eyes go wide at your now intimate embrace. Kyle then gives a impish smile while the light flickers off leaving you in darkness.