Lois Looks Like She Swallowed Her Mother Whole

Once, as a cub reporter, Lois Lane had done a human interest piece on a woman pregnant with septuplets. She had been young, almost the same age as Lois, and glad for the company in the hospital. A rare form of cancer had required the removal of her ovaries at a young age, so the woman had conceived using in vitro fertilization—and overdone it a bit. At thirty-four weeks, Lois could still remember the enormity of her stomach. How taut it was. The pregnant woman had let her touch it. Warm, smooth...and it was like there was a giant water balloon within, firm to the touch, but with a little give to it. There had been an anxious look on the mother-to-be's face. At the time, Lois thought it was about her babies: multiple pregnancies often meant the babies were born prematurely. Not all of them made it.

Now, Lois thought maybe she was just worried that she was about to pop.

The reporter was flat on the bed. Her arms and legs felt and looked as skinny as ever. Breasts were still small. She was herself. Yet all of her mother's mass...all hundred-odd pounds of it...had to go somewhere.

The stomach stood out above the reporter. Gravity caused it to bulge a little at the sides, but it was firm. A huge sphere, smooth and round as if Lois had swallowed a giant pumpkin. Her skin stretched out in odd folds, taut where it gripped her back.

Lois took a breathe, grateful she could breathe, conscious now of the painful weight on her hips and lower back. The swell started just below her breasts, and Lois could feel the mass press against her diaphragm. It was like her lung capacity was cut in half. But Lois had done some hiking at high elevations and knew the trick was just to breathe more often, keep calm.

Her hands reached forward to touch the huge mass of her distended abdomen. The skin was smooth...no stretch marks...and it gave a little under her touch. She could actually feel it, this huge bloated stomach, a part of her...and trying to keep calm she pushed harder, explored more...there was no sense of a shape under there. No skull or hands. Nothing moved or squirmed inside of her, at least not that Lois could tell. Her stomach was big enough that her mother could be curled up in a tight ball, insulted by fluid...but there was another, less pleasant possibility.

Back screaming, Lois levered herself into a sitting position. The huge, jutting stomach stretched out onto her lap, over her knees. She looked like she was pregnant with a full-grown adult human.

The reporter hoped that wasn't the case. But there was only one way to find out.

Her hand found her smartphone. It was time to call Superman...and she didn't relish how she was going to explain this.

"Look, this isn't the weirdest you've ever seen me," she joked out loud, practicing her line for when he arrived.