Lois & Blaze review "Jay Craig, 36 year old divorcee" by saktongmanyak

Where do the characters in stories go, when the page turns, and the readers click away? In what void of non-existence do they wait, neither alive or dead, to await the hour of their resurrection, when they appear again, players on a stage that never ends so long as there is someone to read the words...

The demoness Blaze sat bolt upright in the white void between the pages. Her pure-white eyes went wide, the dark horns that rose from her brow crackled with black sparks. Skin as red as flesh blood on parchment was stretched taut over a thin, spare figure, the small breasts topped with soft pink nipples like unripe strawberries. She blinked and turned her head. Found herself atop a queen-sized four-poster bed with black silk sheets and pillows.

She sniffed. There was the faint promise of coffee...

"When there's no more room in hell," the demon growled, "then Blaze shall walk the—"

"Blaze," Lois Lane said. "Has some reading to do."

A tablet was shoved in the demon's face. The reporter was also naked. Shorter than Blaze, and her long hair was straight where the demon's fell in dark rivulets. The violet eyes were piercing.

"We fucked up," Lois explained. "Saktongmanyak reviewed our story, but we never reviewed theirs. This injustice must not stand. So starting right now, we're reading the adventures of Jay Craig, 36 year old divorcee in The Affection Multiplier."

Blaze's nose crinkled as she tapped the screen of the tablet. The CHYOA site was already loaded. Even the annoying AI bits.

"I need far more coffee and cunnilingus to get through this," the demon said.

Lois smiled. She handed Blaze a white mug with "My Girlfriend Is Hotter Than Hell" emblazoned on it in scarlet letters. The reporter pulled the sheet away to expose the demon's hairless snatch.

"Well now. I'm sure I can take care of that..."

"This is an essentially linear branch that is 348 chapters long—at the time of this reading—and almost four years old. Updated about twice weekly," Blaze said. She sipped coffee as dark as her own heart as Lois Lane nuzzled her labia. "There is no way in six shades of hell we're going to read all of this. But maybe the first hundred chapters?"

Lois gave a thumb's up as she gently kissed the Satanic snatch. Blaze's blank eyes read down.

"Wait—he's 36 years old, divorced, with a 19-year-old daughter? Who was he fucking and how young was he at the time?" Blaze muttered. Lois pulled at the demon's labia, to indicate her displeasure with this line of thinking. The scarlet succubus sighed. "Fine, fine. Loser divorcee writer decides to use an app to get laid. At least he's not trying to get back with his ex-wife."

“You had one fucking job, Dad.” Her eyes are getting red and beginning to tear up.

"Doing a bang-up job of me not really liking the protagonist here," Blaze admitted. Lois let her tongue slide slowly up the scarlet slit, from south to north, which sent a little thrill up the demon's spine.

“You might want to put some pants on.”

"Points for characterization: other writers would have gone straight from there to fucking daughter's legally-of-age friend," Blaze said. "Fortunately, this is all prologue as we get to understand that Jay is a complete failure as a parent and a human being, and is aware of that fact. The app still hasn't come into play yet."

With her fingers, Lois Lane spread Blaze's pussy. There was a deep sniff as she drank in the smell of her personal succubus fuckbuddy's nectar. It glistened wetly, the demon's insides a bright pink that almost glowed with power. The succubus was always wet right after she awoke. Blaze reached down with one hand and patted Lois on the head.

• Craig, Stella - Affection Score: 76. History: Saturday, 12:34 PM (-5)
  If this thing was actually real, then you know that can’t be right. That score is too high.

"Against all judgment, the idea of quantifying affection is actually an interesting one," Blaze murmured. She shifted her ass and spread her thighs a little wider as Lois' tongue began to slide up and down the inside of her labia, punctuated every now and then by little kisses. "It adds a gamer aspect to things. A bit dehumanizing, but no more so than ten thousand mind control or hypnosis stories that are glorified **** fics with extra steps."

“We could’ve had this talk sooner,” she finally says, wiping her eyes as she looks at you with a tearful smile.

"From a strictly technical perspective, the writing is fine," the demon said. "A few typos, dropped punctuation, that sort of thing. Nothing we can throw stones about. I like the slow build-up. So many stories...including Lois Lane's Night Out...jump into the sex too soon, without establishing the characters or the world enough first. That said, our divorced writer is 6'3" and his ex-wife had better be at least 37."

The reporter growled into Blaze's pussy and blew a raspberry. The sudden flutter of air almost made the demon drop the tablet on her lover's head. Message received.

She takes a box of cigarettes out of her pocket.

"If this turns into one of those 'I learned it from watching you!' things," Lois Lane said from between Blaze's legs. "Then we're switching places."

Blaze growled, but read on.

“It’s nice to see you again Stella” she tells Stella, giving her cheek kisses.
“It’s nice to see you too Ms. Ramirez” Stella replies politely.

"So this, right here, the lack of commas," Blaze pointed out as Lois went back to her licking. "This annoys me. I hope I don't have 90-odd more chapters of missing commas."

Editor’s note: From my standpoint consent is a non-issue in these stories. Real life is different. And as a nicotine addict myself if there were a magical way to quit I’d take it in a heartbeat.
On another note, no author has had me this excited to be an editor in a long time. I’m loving where this is going and can’t wait for more
~W.

"One, it's good to have an editor. Well done," the demon said. "Two, that makes the lack of commas even more annoying. That aside, the slow and steady pace of development continues, inching toward what I hope is the first sex scene, although when that will happen I have no idea. As a proto-harem go, we've already got too many names for me to bother following."

"Thersh forgh!" Lois Lane said, her voice muffled by the demon's muff.

"Don't care!" Blaze said happily as she read on.

What happens next?

"Normally, I find it a cop-out when writers default to 'What happens next?' as the ending prompt," the scarlet succubus frowned. There was a little more purple to the crimson of her cheeks now, as Lois had ceased teasing and started rug-munching in earnest. Blaze's honeypot began to overflow as her lover's tongue polished her clit. "But in an essentially linear story with no branches...I guess I can see why they don't always bother."

‘This is your daughter’s best friend! A girl you used to babysit since she was a child. Stop being a creep.’

"He may be a tall, bearded loser with a nicotine addiction, but he has a point," Blaze said. She tried to hold the tablet steady, but Lois was clearly getting into it. There was a noisy slurp as the reporter sucked the juice from the demon's cunny. "I feel like awareness of being a creep and being unnerved by it is sometimes more disturbing than acceptance of being a creep and—"

Blaze yeeped as one of Lois Lane's bicuspids snagged on her labia. With a hiss, the anatomy of the demon cunt shifted. The labia drew in as it snagged, the clit swelled until it was large as a ripe grape, and the tunnel deepened. The demon experimentally flexed her muscles and a splash of fluid burst in Lois Lane's face.

'Fuck it. I blame it on the ****.'

"I feel like we're getting mixed signals on this one," Blaze said as she grabbed the back of the reporter's head and **** it into her now-engorged twat. There was a brief moment of struggled followed by Lois Lane's tongue as it swirled around the entrance to her pussy. "Like, he's a loser. Yet he has these women fawning all over them. And he knows he's a loser and it's because of this app. And he plays with it, with them, anyway. Yet he's not doing enough to be either lovable or despicable. He's just basically riding his male privilege straight into whatever warm fucking hole awaits."

"Mmmgh," Lois gave a muffled opinion.

"Don't talk with your mouth full!" Blaze told her.

You take out your phone, sit down on the side of the bed with your feet still touching the floor, and check the app.

"I feel like checking your magic date-**** app in the middle of the prelude to sex is rude," the demon said. Lois raised her right hand and gave a thumb's up. Blaze lifted her legs and slid them over Lois's shoulders. Her lower body had begun to undulate, squeezing and rubbing against Lois Lane's face as the licking intensified.

You explode. For the first time in months. For the first time with someone other than Diane. All that backed up cum, just exploding inside Tanya’s mouth right now. But you wouldn’t know how backed up you really were since Tanya swallowed all of it.

"Not bad. Good description, little bit of variety. It's a bit weak to break up a sex scene into multiple chapters in a linear story, but...nngh...we can't throw stones, can we sweetmeat?" the scarlet succubus said.

Lois was too preoccupied to answer. Her pale hands gripped Blaze's scarlet thighs for support as she put her whole face into the act of eating the demon out. The bridge of the reporter's nose rubbed against the swollen clit as Lois's tongue pushed deeper. Fourteen chapters in, and...

You lick the rim of her asshole and it makes Tanya groan in pleasure, but she immediately places a hand on top of your head and slowly pushes you down.

"It...is...important...to...ration out...the sex..." Blaze puffed, barely able to keep reading aloud. She gulped hard as Lois Lane's ass waggled in the air. "Can't...can't do everything at once. Gotta leave some stuff for later. Build up to it. Good approach."

You used to fuck her like this too. Balls deep in another woman, and it’s still fucking Diane.

"I do, nff, get in there you little whore, enjoy a bit of, fuck deeper, internal conflict," Blaze said.

The demon's body rippled. Her free hand was pressed against the back of Lois Lane's head, and her already engorged cunt had swollen wide. Blaze's whole body strained as Losi Lane's head was pushed into the vast, fleshy cavern of the demonic cunt, distending the scarlet abdomen into a mockery of a pregnant stomach.

Don’t start falling for the first girl you fuck papi.

"Do we ever really get over the first girl we fuck?" Blaze wondered. Lois didn't even thrash. The demon's pussy convulsed, and drew more and more of her lover inside of her. Black sparks arced between her horns as Lois squeezed into the channel, and the distended gut expanded to make room as the cervix opened to admit the full-grown woman into her tainted womb. "I have to say, I do appreciate how the characterization has gotten a bit better, even if Jay-the-writer remains a bit of an obtuse idiot."

It was all a dream

Lois Lane's dainty feet disappeared into the monstrous snatch of the demon. Blaze was now pinned to the bed beneath her grotesquely swollen stomach, the outline of the reporter's limbs still visible through skin now taut as an overripe tomato.

"Okay, I take it all back. What the fucking fuck?" Blaze growled as she rubbed her stomach. Lois, who could still hear the demon even within her womb, thrashed in agreement.

Groundhog Day

"I now officially regret everything about this story," Blaze said. "Seriously, at the point where I feel like this branch should have ended and saktongmanyak just started again from the beginning. Was that all supposed to be a bullshit prologue to show how the app works? Lilith's tits!"

Lois Lane's movements settled down. The demon's distorted stomach began to smooth over, the outlines of the reporter lost as she simply appeared pregnant with an elephant rather than having just swallowed a grown woman. With a soft pop, the demon's navel stood out atop her immense belly like the nipple on a massive breast.

Both of you are just a bunch of... oathbreakers!

"And on that happy note, we're officially twenty chapters deep," Blaze said. "Which should be twenty-two, because it started on the 2nd chapter, but...look, we'll get to forty next time."

The demon laid one hand on her midriff. "And maybe Lois will join us to give her thoughts on the story so far."