Lindsey and Susan read Naive and Erotic Roommates, by BBBloster

"Well, this sounds vanilla" said Lindsey, "it has multiple paths and its Susan's turn this time"

"Oh, look, I can customise the character names" said Susan, "okay, I'll put in Ass Average"

"Really, Susan?"

"I was gonna go with Fart Fart but the guy is described as Mr. Average so I decided to go with that and thought his first name should start with an A"

READING IN PROGRESS

(8 chapters in)

"There's too many long paragraphs" said Lindsey, "seriously, pace yourself. And you misspelt pr-"

Suddenly Lindsey fainted.

"Jesus Christ, BBBlooster, are you trying to kill Lindsey?!" asked Susan.

After making sure that Lindsey was okay, Susan decided to get Tom to help finish the review.

"Okay, while Lindsey is sleeping, Tom will be taking her place" said Susan.

"So why am I here?" asked Tom.

"Lindsey fainted because of the grammar. I know how you like to pick up chicks so it seemed appropriate to have you do this. Anyway, we need to call the police"

"I think dialling 911 because of poor grammar might be considered wasting police time. Can we just read this?"

READING IN PROGRESS AGAIN

"You named the character Ass Average?" asked Tom.

"Yeah" said Susan.

"Well, we better explain this story. Ass Average moves to a new place and his roommates turn out to be two cute girls who are part of some exclusive sect of Christianity"

"I'm surprised the girls didn't laugh at his name"

"You literally typed the name in yourself. All that does is affect the character's name, not how people will react to it"

"Well, Ass wants to fuck some girls but they turn out to be religious nuts. Isn't Christianity supposed to just be an excuse for horny weirdos to whip themselves? Why would they turn down free sex? And a lot seems to fly over Amanda's head"

"So, basically she's you as a christian"

"Oh come on, I think I would find it suspicious if I woke up covered in cum and I know what a blowjob is. Anyway, Mary sucks her thumb so I assume she has a diaper fetish"

"That's hot" said Tom.

"But I don't see how a girl being cute proves the existence of god" said Susan.

"Ass didn't mean that literally. Anyway, there is a woeful lack of sex in this story. I know the first four chapters were supposed to be one chapter before getting split into four but the remaining chapters still didn't have much"

"Ass cumming into a tub of ice cream was more funny than sexy. Reminded me of American Pie"

"I only remember Shannon Elizabeth. I think she might have fucked an apple pie in the movie"

"The most erotic thing was Ass molesting Amanda in her sleep and cumming on her" said Susan, "he and some other girl also masturbate to a girls soccer game. Unfortunately, I did not masturbate at all"

"And I noticed my dick didn't get hard either" said Tom, "I think BBBlooster was trying to go for a slow burn. Unfortunately, you still need to show SOMETHING of interest. There was nothing erotic about this"

"I think BBBlooster might be too embarrassed to write anything sexier"

"Until next time, readers"