Lily, a self-conscious college student

Lily idly watched the hermit crab as it moved along the warm, golden sand. She gave a soft, encouraging smile as it scuttled from rock to rock. Finally it found a new, larger shell and after a moment's hesitation, wiggled inside it. Lily picked up the now discarded shell in her delicate fingers, watching as the golden dusk light played across its surfaces.

"Someday carcinization may bring us together my crustacean friend.” Lily said before continuing in a mutter “I was supposed to outgrow my own shell, but I guess I’m still just the same girl I was in high school.”

Lily hugged her shawl tighter around her shoulders and wished growing up was easier. Coming to college was supposed to have been a fresh start. She finally worked up the nerve to ask out her high school crush, Craig, and he said Yes!

She couldn’t help glance over at him, standing by the water’s edge and tossing pebbles into the ocean. She let out a wistful sigh as she watched him, tall and lean, always ready with a kind smile and a goofy grin. A painful thought crept into her mind, “When is he going to realize he can do better?”

She felt the first stirrings of arousal but pushed the feeling down. In the weeks since they had started dating, she hadn't let it get more physical than kissing and she knew Craig must be getting frustrated. This was supposed to finally be the night, her first time, something she had been saving for him. She had even bought a little black bikini to show off for him, something high school Lily would never have done. But now on the beach, her resolve had faltered.

How could he not notice the other women on the beach? It seemed everywhere she looked there were large, bouncing breasts, round delectable butts, and wide, jutting hips begging to be grabbed. “And what do I have to offer?” Lily asked herself blushing. She took stock of her barely-there chest, letting the bikini top flap loose whenever she bent over. A flat butt, thin thighs, too pale skin, no sex appeal. She dipped her chin and hid her light brown eyes behind her hair. She was actually proud of her long black hair, but often used it as a barrier to shield her from the world. She readjusted her flower patterned yellow shawl, trying to cover as much as she could of her inadequate body.

“Sweet shell!” Craig brought her out of her thoughts for a moment as he strolled over and sat down next to her. His fingers found the seashell hanging on a necklace around his neck. Craig could be so sweet. She had made that for him when they were just acquaintances and had no idea he’d actually kept it until he showed it to her again when they started going out. He was always kind and respectful, never pressuring her for the sex she knew he must be craving at this point.

“Hell, that I’m craving” she thought secretly to herself. Her heat started rising again as she wished for the hundredth time that day that she had a body to inspire lust in her boyfriend. That she could drive him to rip her clothes off and totally have his way with her, leaving her begging for more. She could feel the blood rushing to the newly shaved lips in her bikini bottoms. That had been another preparation for tonight that looked like it would be for naught.

Craig leaned against Lily gently and said awkwardly, "Y-you look great Lily." She flinched and pulled her shawl tighter, trying to use the sensation to comfort herself. She knew deep down they would never be intimate if she couldn't even muster the courage to let him see her. But her fear of rejection was too great. He would probably be turned off if she showed him more of her.

"You don't have to say that." She softly responded. She didn't notice his grimace and the look of disappointment on his face as he turned away to squint at the sun setting over the ocean waves, lighting them up like flames.

Wave by wave, pebbles nearby shifted revealing a lightly glowing emerald. Its long slumbering power also yearned for new beginnings.