Like casting pearls before swine

If you needed any more proof that Adam wasn’t on top of his romantic game, it is the moment where you declare you’d better go if you don’t want to miss your bus, and he asks if you wouldn’t want to hang out some more.

At least Annie appreciates your intentions, going by the grateful nod you get when you cite having still some prepwork left to do for tomorrow.

Which is only half true of course. The REAL prep you need to get on top of is figuring out what to do with the reality stone.

The owner of the magic shop said, the stones power wasn’t unlimited and that more difficult changes would require some prepwork.

But what exactly did he mean by ‘difficult change’. Or put another way, what were the upper limits? It could obviously change someones near future to include some improbable but ultimately plausible event.

But was there a limit to how far into the future these changes could extend?

Could you make someone shoot lasers from their eyes or make other changes that defied the law of physics?

Could you turn someone into an orc, a catgirl, a Klingon or some other fantasy race that didn’t exist but was biologically possible?

And if you did would the person you changed by an exceptional case or would the world change so e.g. cats had evolved to be become human-like to a ridiculous degree?

Not that you make any real progress on answering any of these really important questions before exhaustion forces you to crawl into bed at four in the morning. The stone didn’t come with a user manual for one. And you get constantly get distracted by daydreams about all the cool stuff you’d like to do with the artifact – especially as the night drags on.

The only reason you bother to drag yourself to work the next day, is because you want to congratulate Adam to his new girlfriend in person.

Which makes it all the more annoying when the two of you meet for lunch and Adams reaction to you asking “How’d it go with you and Annie?” is a luke-warm “Yeah. She seems nice.”

“Nice? You two seemed to really hit it off.” you probe “I mean you’d have to be blind not to see that she was totally into you.” Maybe that was the problem, you think. That Adams self confidence was so low that he’d dismissed her flirting as a figment of his imagination.

Adam sucks in some air between his teeth “Yeah.”

“Soo? What happened?”

“Nothing. ”

“Apparently. ” you sigh “ So here I am. Wondering why nothing happened. ”

“Look she seemed nice and all.”

“I sense a ‘But’.”

“Well don’t you think she was a bit ….. errr…. ?”

You raise an eyebrow waiting for Adam to continue.

“We just met, and she was already trying to get me to ask if I could come over for Netflix and chill. Towards the end it wasn’t even all that subtle.”

“You are right. ” you agree, in a light-hearted tone “It’s just the worst when you and an attractive girl have interests in common, and then she has to go and ruin it all by wanting to spend the night with you. Ugh.” that probably came out more sarcastic than teasing, actually.

“ Remember that annoying roommate she told us about. ” Adam sounds a little defensive “ Maybe Rachel was interested in me, but I bet it didn’t hurt that I have a job and an apartment big enough for two. ”

O-kaaay.

Any other day you might have tried to explain to your friend that he was being ridiculous and that he should text Rachel asking if the offer of coffee was still standing. But right now, you are cranky and tired and in no mood to listen to more of Adams self-sabotaging bullshit.

You spent a year trying to give him that shove he needs, to no avail. Nobody could blame you if your next gentle shove came with the help of a metaphorical bulldozer.

“Stop. ” you shake your hand in exasperation “Just, think about what you are saying there. A girl flirts with you and you get it into your head she is the cities least ambitious gold-digger who’s angling after the glamorous life of ‘dating a dude with a crappy cubicle job’ ?” you raise a hand to forestall Adams protest as your other hand slips into the pocket containing the Reality Stone “Let me give you a reality check:”

You take a mental step back to take stock of your friend and decide how far you should change him. And as you prepare to reorder Adams life and personality, a petty part of you wonders: Wasn't a girl like Rachel wasted on the guy?