Like Japanese dating sims meet Dark Souls

The documentation (which you find hiding on the main page in the small print at the bottom, a little “?” button) really does read like a video game manual. Near as you can tell there are four stats that the app tracks, agape, storge, philia, and eros. The four Greek categories of Love. The localization that you’re using translates these to Love, Trust, Affection, and Lust. It’s pretty clear that whoever did the translation has very little understanding of American English idiom. Further, the stats indicate specifically how a person feels about you. You quickly move on, beating down the implications this makes about your mother’s last moments, or whatever dream your sister happens to be having right now.

In-game (it refers to itself as a game) currency is ominously referred to as Soul Coins, and is gained by reaching certain plateaus of stats with people. The criteria are any multiples of 25 for any stat (one time gains only for fluctuating stats such as Lust) resulting in an equal gain, 5 daily Coins for every stat at 100, and Coins are purchasable through the in-app store for $50/Coin. There are a number of special circumstances as well, one of which catches your eye. In the event of a maximized herd member’s (the app’s language) demise, all stats are immediately doubled and converted into Soul Coins, which are then harvested (again, the app’s language).

Shrugging, you back out of the manual and click back into the store, receiving a pop-up asking if you would like to unlock it now for five Soul Coins. You thumb the yes button and the screen changes slightly, opening up a list of categories named after the four stats, as well as one labeled “Achievements”. Without thinking you tap that to open it.

Two items are highlighted. One’s icon is a picture of what you can only assume is a family of stock figures. The other is a stick figure with arms crossed. You click on the first getting another pop-up

Keeping it in the Family - Achieved a score of 100 in Lust with a blood relative. You sick fuck. Perk Unlocked: Motherfucker - All Lust gains with Blood relatives are doubled. You sick fuck.

Shaking your head you click the second one.

Dread Harvest - One of your herd members with a perfect score died. Perk Unlocked: Trim Reaper - Fear equals Lust.

Weird shit. Backing out of achievements, you look at your currency just as the clock ticks over to 00:01. 900 Soul Coins. Holy shit. You begin clicking through categories to see if anything catches your eye.

In the trust category you find one that really jumps out at you. Silver Tongued Devil - You lie like a rug. All trust gains are doubled - Cost: 300 Soul Coins.

In Affection you see another that’s tempting, Heads Up - Via Augmented Reality, all notifications will appear in your vision - Cost: 100 Soul Coins.

Finally, in Love you find What’s So Funny - About peace love and understanding. All notifications come with an explanation. - Cost: 200 Soul Coins.

You purchase all three, leaving you with 300 Soul Coins.