Life is good, but Ian is still a dick

The next few days go well. You go to work late and leave early. Your coworkers notice, but you get Suze to tell everyone that you're working on a project from home. She knows this isn't true, but she's always happy to help her favorite employee.

You don't use any more spells because there's no need to. Life is good at home, especially now that you can relax with your incredible wife more. Things are also really good at work, you do the assignments that are interesting and leave the rest for Ian. There's no need to change anything.

The only problem is Ian. He doesn't come by your desk to bother you as often as before because he's so busy with his work and yours, but he's really awful when you do see him.

"So what exactly does Suze's asshole taste like?" asks Ian as you pour yourself some coffee in the break room. "You're only here four hours a day, so at least three of those hours you must be on your knees, tonguing her little brown star."

You try to ignore him.

"Hey! Hey, shit sniffer, I'm talking to you! You think you're so great? Why don't you and your little movie making friends make a snuff film, since the only movie anyone would want to see from you is one where you-"

Ian goes silent as Bai-Lin walks in. She's smiling with her usual happy demeanor, but as soon as she sees Ian her face turns to disgust. She turns around and walks back out.

He's crushed, but the sadness only shows on his face for a second before he turns on you. "You fucking asshole! You're responsible for Bai-Lin breaking up with me too, aren't you!"

You say, "Calm down, it's just-"

"I'm going to fucking ruin you! I'm going to find out what you did to get up Suze's ass and undo it, then I'm going to make sure nobody ever watches your stupid little fan films, not that anyone ever wanted to watch that amateur crap, and then-"

"MENSUS IMPERIUMUS!"

Ian goes silent, and you breathe in relief.

"God, I had to do that just to get you to shut up. Okay, if you want Bai-Lin back so badly, we can do that. First, accept that your shitty personality is the reason she broke up with you."

"Bai-Lin broke up with me because of my personality," repeats Ian.

"You'll do anything to get her back."

"I'll do anything to get her back."

"Once you get her back, you'll be so **** to keep her that you'll do anything she wants, even if you hate it."

"I'll do anything she wants."

You try to hold back, but he's just too much of an asshole for pity. "In fact, the more awful she treats you, the more turned on you'll get."

"The worse she treats me, the more turned on I get."

"Okay, now wait an hour, then tell her in front of the whole office that you want her back. Opus est."

You grab your coffee and walk out of the break room before Ian can come back to his senses and start yelling again. You take a minute to calm down at your desk, then go find Bai-Lin at hers.

The raven haired cutie looks up and smiles as you approach. "Hey, John! Do you need something?"

"Yeah, sorry to ask, but I can't find the Summers report in the file room. Could you show me where you put it?"

"Sure thing!" she hops up and leads you into the break room. Once the two of you are alone, you say the magic words and go to work.

An hour later, Ian approaches Bai-Lin's desk. Anne and a couple other girls are there, chatting about an upcoming presentation. Ian clears his throat, and all the ladies turn to look at him. You watch the fun from across the room.

"Um, Bai-Lin? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She rolls her eyes. "What is it, Ian?"

He looks around at the other women, but they just stare back at him coldly, obviously unwilling to leave. "I... I really want you back! I'm sorry I was such a pushy jerk! Please take me back! Please!"

The other ladies definitely look like they want to laugh. Bai-Lin looks like she can't decide if she wants to laugh or throw up. "Ugh, being with you again sounds awful!"

"It'll be different this time!" pleads Ian. "I'll act differently! I'll do whatever you want!"

She considers it. "Will you wear a chastity cage?"

Anne and the other women gasp. Ian looks shocked. He stammers, "Wh-what?"

"I told you that I don't want to ever touch you again, and I specifically meant your disgusting dick. The only way I'd even consider letting you near me again is if that gross thing of yours is locked away and I have the key. It's either that, or I want you to never talk to me again."

Ian looks crushed, but there's something else. As he looks around at the amused, disgusted faces of the women watching, then turns and sees that everyone in the office is listening in, he looks... eager. Humiliated and upset, but very eager and trying to hide it.

"Okay," he says meekly.

"Fine," responds Bai-Lin. "Buy the smallest cage that will fit you, bring me the key, and MAYBE I'll let you come by my place."

Ian nods and runs off to his office.

Anne turns to Bai-Lin as the other women break down into giggles. "Oh my god, you're not actually going to lock him up, are you? And you're definitely not going to start going out with him again, right?!"

With Ian gone, some of Bai-Lin's usual meek demeanor comes back. She smiles shyly and says, "Well, you know, it's not really 'going out' with him if he's just doing stuff for me and I'm still dating other guys. And... yeah, I'm going to lock his dick up! Removing that thing from circulation is my way of making the world a better place."

A little while later, you see Ian leaving for lunch, even though he usually eats at his desk while working lately. When he comes back, he's holding a little brown paper bag. He goes into the bathroom and comes back out holding a small empty box, clearly holding it so that nobody can see the label. He walks up to Bai-Lin's desk and holds out a set of tiny keys.

She takes the keys without looking at him, inspects them, and says, "Okay. I'll let you know some time when I'm free next week."

"Next week?!" says Ian. "But... but I already-"

"You heard me," says Bai-Lin, still not looking at him. She puts the keys in her purse and says, "Now go get me some coffee."

"Yes, Bai-Lin!"

You try to keep your laughter discrete as you watch Ian run off to the break room.