Life Experience

“Y-you… you shouldn’t just say something like that!”

Lerianna finally managed to right herself in her chair again after two failed attempts, struggling to quell the heat rising to her face as she sat across from Aclysia once more. Through no will of her own, Lerianna’s foot began to tap erratically as her red eyes met the living statue’s, twitching unstably.

“I should not? The tomes did not indicate the phrase was in any way troublesome.” Aclysia’s eyes darted to the table in thought, her brow furrowing ever so slightly as she pored over the words she had memorized so meticulously. “No, in fact, it used some version of that phrasing quite often. Thirty-seven times, if I-”

“It’s not about how many times it appeared in those filthy tomes!”

“Oh? No, you’re mistaken! Yvara keeps her literature quite well-maintained, she even dusts regularly.”

“...You’re just fucking with me, aren’t you?”

“Fucking with you? Oh! You’ve already read the next chapter? I only had time to get through the first section, but the title of that one seemed quite appealing.”

The sound of wood cracking filled the air as Lerianna’s grip on the table became even more aggravated. For the sake of their furniture, as well as her sanity, Lerianna reached to the device on her head once more and gave it a very purposeful twist, feeling a slight relief settle over her as the device clamped down on her hormones. Her grip on the table remained as steadfast, but the wood gave no further ground to the dumbfounded rabbit. Aclysia continued to stare forward with a deadpan expression, her lips only twitching downward slightly when she saw the damage to the table.

“No, no, she’s just getting the hang of recognizing sarcasm in others, she’s not playing dumb like this on purpose. She doesn’t understand. That’s why you’re here.”

The last two phrases were scrawled on the walls of her mind in neon letters, over and over, as she subdued her natural instincts to lash out by repeating that mantra. A keen observer might have noticed the words “Kill John Newman” barely concealed under those frantic scribbles, but that massacre could wait until Aclysia – and the poor furniture – were no longer in the line of fire.

“Okay, let’s just start at the beginning, because if we keep going like this, I’m going to break something. Probably John.” Lerianna allowed herself a deep, shuddering breath before she resumed. “Aclysia, the things that were in Yvara’s book... Those sorts of things aren’t ways to show thanks to someone, or share joy with them. That’s called sex, and it’s-”

“Yes, I’m familiar with that term for it as well. But the book was quite clear that both participants would share immense joy!” Aclysia objected. “And that is what I wish to do for my creator. He deserves all that I can give him.”

“You may think that now, but you’re not just giving him joy, you’re giving him your body. And that’s something that you don’t even really understand the consequences of yet. Sex can change you forever!”

“But… I was under the impression that all of you already do the things that the book describes? Many different varieties of it, in fact. You seem fine with the changes.”

“Wh-why would you think that?” The heat in her cheeks flared with a vengeance, and no amount of hormonal suppression or breathing exercises seemed to dull it. Thankfully, Aclysia kept her comments to Lerianna’s logic, and not her obviously flustered appearance.

“The Nekos speak quite plainly of such things. I did not fully understand what they were describing most of the time, but having read that book, I believe I have recognized several of the positions they were vaguely describing.”

“Yeah, great, let the girl with the cold logic and perfect memory figure out what sex is and pick apart every innuendo we’ve ever made… not that those damn cats were ever that subtle to begin with.” If it were possible to strangle someone in another room without magic, Lerianna felt like she was on the cusp of becoming the first to accomplish it, though she hadn’t quite decided which neck she’d find under her fingers first.

“W-well, first of all, not all of us have had sex with John. Secondly, we all did it after we knew what sex was, and with a full understanding of the consequences!”

It was true. Well, it was true as far as Lerianna knew, at least. She didn’t make a habit of going around asking the other girls about what it had been like the first time that they spent a night with John.

“Consequences?”

“You know, pregnancy, and… and losing your virginity too early, and there are risks of sexu-” Lerianna let a lengthy sigh escape as she realized how much sillier all of those words sounded now that they were spoken aloud. Even if she could **** herself to mention STDs as if that were an actual danger in this group – and she knew the Nekos couldn’t have kept that one a secret this long – none of those were relevant to a living statue, as far as she knew. She had to form her own vocal chords just a few minutes ago, so whatever physical elements of virginity she had, she gave herself – and she certainly had no mental hang-ups about it. And even with her ability to reshape her body, there was no chance Aclysia could create a functional womb.

Well, probably. Surely John’s powers, perversion, and Abyssal contacts weren’t so ridiculous that he could find a way to knock up a statue.

...Right?

“Let me try this again,” Lerianna resumed, grateful for the small mercy of Aclysia having the decency to be patient while she was nearly having a breakdown. “The people who have gotten with John have done so knowing the mental consequences it can have. Having sex before you’re ready and before you find the right person can lead to a life of regret.”

“None of you seem to regret that decision.” Aclysia cast her eyes momentarily toward the door, then back to Lerianna, seeming almost hurt. “Are some of the others unhappy to have bedded John? Yvara’s book said it was to be one of the most glorious experiences a woman could have!”

“That- okay, forget the book, but no. None of the girls that live in this house regret being with John.”

“As I can tell by the fact that most of them keep coming back for more like a stray dog getting fed…”

“Do you regret it?”

“Wh- I haven’t had sex with John!”

Lerianna was perhaps now more than ever grateful for Aclysia’s lack of social experience. The white-haired woman didn’t even blink as she blurted that out with a defensiveness bordering on paranoia.

“Why not? You seem to understand these ‘consequences’ you speak of, were they too dire for you to bed him?”

“No! I mean, yes! Kind of,” Lerianna admitted at last, voice wavering as she struggled to word things in a way that wouldn’t echo back into her own ears as an admission, as surrender.

“Kind of? You haven’t determined yet whether it was worthwhile? Have you not simply weighed the advantages against these ‘consequences’?” Aclysia seemed completely befuddled by what she thought was a lack of logic. “Perhaps I could assist you in making that evaluation. You are already aware of the consequences, and I am at least well educated on the theory of the benefits.”

“No, no, I’m perfectly capable of-”

“For instance, did you know that when John’s member touches upon your womb, ‘its kiss will blind you with ecstasy and leave you begging for fulfillment that can come only from feeling his hot-’”

“That’s enough! I don’t need to hear, it isn’t about advantages, it’s- it’s- my species is complicated!” Lerianna crossed her arms as she spat out the first thing that sounded vaguely correct. Her ears were practically spasming, their soft pink interiors colored so darkly they were nearly rose red, a coloration matched by the tips of her ears and the very point of her nose.

“Well, I am of no species at all. Perhaps things are simple for me?” Aclysia’s tone was rational, helpful, and hopeful – all the things that frustrated Lerianna at that moment. To make matters worse, in a way she wasn’t entirely wrong.

For most sapient species the real risks of regret or long-term unhappiness from engaging in sex was emotional and mental, usually a result of the complex intricacies of human society not meshing particularly well with base desires, hormones, and animalistic urges. Aclysia actually didn’t have the kinds of issues that came along with that, but Lerianna wasn’t prepared to just offhandedly tell her to go out and start fucking her way through the neighborhood.

“I’m trying to tell you that you only get one chance to pick your first time, and most people have this romantic idea of making it perfect. It doesn’t happen for everyone, but I just… I don’t want you to lose the chance to try before you even understand what it is that you’re losing.”

“If I do not know what I am losing, it is rather difficult to weigh it against what I gain,” Aclysia murmured, finally seeming to find a shred of hesitation.

“And sex can really change the relationship of the person you do it with. Maybe forever. And it definitely changes the way you view relationships. There are exceptions to everything, of course, but you should never rush into it, even as someone used to emotions. I think you should…”

Lerianna took a long pause, the words suddenly caught in her throat. Despite how sure she sounded, Lerianna was beginning to question how much of this she could really be certain wasn’t coming from her own repressed libido. Her own view of sex and lust was so jaded by everything that she’d grown up around, all the time she’d spent despising people who gave into their baser instincts, she felt suddenly unqualified to advise anyone on how long to wait for sex. Maybe she was holding on to too much of her own trauma? Everyone else around here seemed to fuck like rabbits – just thinking the phrase made her wince – and they all seemed quite satisfied with their situation.

“Besides, it’s not like there would be much to regret if she had her first time with John. Honestly, she could even be considered lucky to lose it to such a-”

Lerianna jolted in her seat, slapping her hand over her mouth out of an instinctual fear that her own thoughts might somehow escape into reality. Aclysia stared at Lerianna with something resembling confusion and concern, making it perfectly clear that even a living piece of stone could see just how bizarrely she was acting now.

“Look, I’m not going to tell you that you can’t have sex with John…”

“Wish I’d give myself the same courtesy.”

“...I just want you to be sure that you won’t regret it and wish you hadn’t, or wish it was with someone else. Why don’t you spend a little time figuring that out, before you go off and ‘share your joy’ with him, or whatever?” Lerianna offered a shrug, attempting the heroic feat of putting multiple outbursts behind her through one barely believable act of indifference.

“And how will I know when I have figured it out? It seems like a rather vague goal to achieve.”

“Just go out and live your life for a little longer. I don’t think I have it in me to do much more of this today, but we can have some future sessions that are a little bit more about your actual emotions, and less… all of this.” Lerianna groaned aloud, gesturing futilely to reality itself, which somehow always seemed set against her. “You need some more experience. Then when you know who you want to be with, when you really know, you’ll feel it.”

“Perhaps you are right that I need to be certain… yes, I believe I shall do just that. Thank you, Lerianna!”

“No need to thank me, just, uh…” Lerianna trailed off as Aclysia stood up and began to stride around the small table, quickly leaving very little room between the two of them. Lerianna made a questioning glance at the approaching woman, but didn’t find a compelling reason to stop her – until a pair of cold, rough lips were suddenly pressed against her own.

“Mmmmphh!”

What was meant as a scream of indignation came out as a muffled squeak. Lerianna’s lips flailed and trembled in shock, indignation, and thankfully not the slightest bit of arousal. A thudding noise echoed just after that mewl, the sound of Lerianna’s reflexive counterpunch, which thankfully slammed into the table and knocked it across the room, rather than impacting and testing the strength of Aclysia’s body.

“I believe I see what you mean. I experienced many sensations when I imagined sharing my feelings with Creator John, but the ones I felt just now were quite different.”

“The hell?! You can’t just kiss people out of nowhere like that!”

“Hypocrite, much? I seem to remember having my tongue firmly down that redhead’s throat, and liking it quite a bit…”

“But you said I would know after gaining enough experience-”

“I meant life experience! This is why you’re not ready for sex,” Lerianna groaned, putting her head in her hands. “Kissing is intimate too, and you shouldn’t do it without asking even if it isn’t!”

“I see. You were right, my practical knowledge is severely lacking. I will do further studies on this matter. I greatly appreciate your assistance, Lerianna.”

“Ah-” Lerianna’s breath caught in her throat, mind still reeling, replaying memories while processing what had just happened, leaving little room to understand the implications of what Aclysia had just said. “Wait, are you gonna-”

Aclysia was already out the door and swinging it closed behind her. Lerianna thought about going after her, but couldn’t summon the effort to do anything more than sit there, listening to the heavy sound of footsteps quickly receding.

“Ahhhh, shit. Shit!”

Lerianna rubbed at her brow in annoyance. Not only with the outcome of their talk, but with the entire session. She was supposed to be a well-educated expert on these subjects, and here she’d been reduced to a sputtering mess, barely able to put enough thoughts together to form a coherent sentence at times. And every time Aclysia talked about wanting to suck John’s “holy member” or whatever bullshit Yvara had taught her, she felt damn near giddy imagining being the one to do it!

“Fuck, I should have just turned this thing all the way up, at least then I could have-”

Lerianna froze as her hand journeyed up and found the suppressor, a movement that had already become muscle memory for her. When she moved to twist it, it remained almost steadfast. It moved only the slightest bit, clicking as it hit the end of its track, then quickly returned to its former position the instant she released it.

“It was already at max? Oh no, ooohhhh noooo! I shouldn’t be able to even feel lust at max, am I…?”

Lerianna didn’t dare finish the thought. With a mixture of frantic speed and **** hesitation, Lerianna glanced toward the door to make sure Aclysia had shut it all the way, then awkwardly jammed a hand down the front of her leggings, gliding under her panties and along her soft mound. Lerianna steeled herself as she purposefully stretched and toyed with her outer lips, until with a practiced precision she could slip her middle finger down and lay it directly across the hood of her clit.

“...Oh, thank goodness.” A sigh of relief loud enough to be heard downstairs heaved out of Lerianna in an instant. She allowed herself a few gentle rubs and swirls to be completely certain, but she felt virtually no pleasure from the act – the inhibitor was doing its job, and it was little different than toying with any other part of her body might have felt.

“But then why is this thought getting into my head...”

Lerianna had somehow avoided blurting it out during any of her many outbursts since Aclysia’s arrival, but the visions of what the animated statue had described were stuck in her mind. Not only the acts themselves, which were tantalizing enough, but for some reason the idea of there being a book out there, a tome just sitting in Yvara’s temple… one filled with nothing but utterly deviant descriptions of what having sex with John would be like, no matter how exaggerated or embellished they were…

“Woah, woah, stop- okay, no. Still nothing.” Lerianna’s moment of panic quickly abated as all the best ministrations of her own fingers could do nothing to bring about even the slightest feeling of arousal. Daring to dip a finger lower, Lerianna found that she was relatively dry, only the residual slickness from before she had cranked her suppressor to the maximum setting still present.

“But I can’t stop thinking about it. I can practically see him on top of me… and it’s making me feel...”

Happy.

The word echoed with the intensity of glass shattering. Lerianna sat there with her head clutched in her hands as the word bounced around her mind, simply waiting out the shock until something else could be processed besides the implications of that one word.

“Oh, I’m so fucked,” Lerianna groaned in defeat.