Level up.

"Hahahahaha!" Harley laughs, a massive grin on her face "Welcome to the club! You are now officially one of us"

"What the fuck?" you say, slumping to the floor as the sudden rush of adrenaline wears off "What the hell's going on?"

"Alright alright" Harley say's with a beaming smile "Don't try thinking to much, you'll hurt yourself. I'll dumb it down for you."

She walks over to you and crouches down on her haunches.

"O.k" she begins "It's pretty simple. Whenever a normal gets drawn into our world there's only two ways it can end. Firstly, you fight us, get your ass kicked and die or, secondly, you somehow manage to win and take both your prizes (which, you may have noticed, I helped you do to me). Now it's not just the weapon that'll help you win a fight, oh no siree Bob. After you have your way with us you officially become a good guy or bad guy and that, what you felt there, was your little human body getting an upgrade. You're now faster, stronger and more durable than you were about an hour ago, which'll come in handy when we're laying a world of hurt on whoever zapped my puddin' into another dimension or wherever the hell he was sent."

"Bullshit" you say in the most disbelieving manner you can muster.

"Bullshit?" Harley says with raised eyebrows "Well, why don't we find out"

Suddenly she pulls a mallet out of nowhere and smacks you in the face with it. You don't feel a thing.

"Holy shit!" you exclaim.

"Yup" Harley says, standing up and cartwheeling backwards "but don't go getting any idea above your station just yet Mister. I pulled that swing. If I'd hit you full **** I'd have still killed ya stone dead, you ain't at the level to deal with Super Bad Asses like me...but on the plus side, I did hit you with enough **** to kill someone without an upgrade so it kinda balances itself out"

"You" you say with a shake of your head "Are one crazy bitch"

Harley walks back over to you and kneels down.

"That I am baby" she whispers "A crazy bitch and a dirty fucking slut but one who's gonna help you as long as you help her"
You can feel your exposed cock twitch at her dirty mouth. "Tut tut" Harley says glancing down at it "Playtimes over for now but I promise we'll play again real soon, best to put that away, dontcha think?"

You quickly slide it back in the hanger and do up your jeans. When you've recomposed yourself you join Harley who's made her way to the end of the alley and is peaking around the corner. You look out yourself and see that Gotham is quiet. Too quiet. The place is like a ghost town.

"Fuck" you say "It's true isn't it, all of it"

"Hey, whatcha think I am? Some kinda liar?" Harley replies, you can't tell if she's feigning being hurt or genuinely is.

"So what do we do now?" you ask.

"Well" she ponders "We need a lead and to get one we're gonna have to ask the right people but we can't just go around asking anyone as that's a sure fire way to get you killed...HA!!!..If you were to go up against someone like Wonder Woman or Power Girl at the level you are they'd just crush your skull with their thighs!!!...But there must be someone around here you can lay a can of whoop ass on"

Suddenly you see a smile creep across Harley's face.

"How about her" she says pointing across the street.

Your gaze follows Harley's finger and you see.

"Wait a minute?" you question "Isn't that Vicki Vale?"

"It sure is sweetie" Harley replies.

"What the hell is she doing out here?" you ask

"Well" Harley tut's, rolling her eyes at you "She's a reporter and this whole Kablamo things quite a big deal, so I guess she's..I dunno…REPORTING...Jeez, it's a good job you're well endowed"

Across the street you can see Vicki Vale go to her car and take a video camera and tripod out of the boot.
She proceeds to set it up, taking her time to make sure she has everything just right and in focus before picking up her microphone and standing on her mark. Her phone rings and she answers.

"Yeah...right...I'm ready to go live as soon as you are"

"Oh, that's just cool" Harley beams all excited "I've always wanted to be on TV"

You look at her "But you're on TV every other week, blowing something up or robbing some place"

"Well yeah" she pouts at you " But I've never been interviewed before, that's only for famous people, not infamous ones"

You swear you can see stars sparkle in Harley's eyes.

"Maybe"she grins mischievously"We should go say hello"