Go say Hello

"And we're go in 3...2..1...I'm Vicki Vale and this is Gotham Live. Tonight's big story, When Worlds Collide. A few hours ago our peace existence was shattered by an earth shattering explosion that seems to have made every male vanish. Stranger still, we have been getting reports of another universe appearing in the aftermath populated entirely by woman. Some are no different to you and me but many of these lost souls possess powers to rival our own Heroes and Villains and, like those missing, have the same capacity for Good and Evil. The ones that have been left behind like Batgirl and Wonder Woman are trying to keep law and order as best they can, even teaming up with their counterparts from the New World but the sudden influx of evil is making it almost impossible to turn back the rising tide. And where are the likes of Batman and Superman, The Green Lantern or The Arrow? Nobody knows, but we really need them in this, our darkest hour.When the world needs a answer to this perplexing question, who will find it for us?"

"And that" Harley chuckles "Is my cue"

You watch as she pulls out a Joker Bomb and leans back to throw it.

"Jeez, don't worry Ma" she says seeing the concerned look on your face "It's just a smoke bomb. After all, a gal's gotta make an entrance"

Rearing forward she launches it. It bounces three times across the asphalt and lands at Vicki Vale's feet.

"Showtime" Harley yells as the bomb goes off, spewing a think cloud of dark smoke into the air.

Harley back flips and cartwheels her way across the street and lands behind a coughing Vicki Vale. As the dense cover of fog starts to clear you can just make out Harley motioning to you to hide behind the trunk of Vicki's car, so you sneak quietly away from your vantage point, making sure to duck behind the camera and lean up against the back of her Oldsmobile.

"Holy Hell!" Vicki wheezes, hacking up what sounds like half a lung "What was that?"

"That sweetie" Harley says as the smoke dissipates "Was me! The one,the only, Harley Quinn"

Harley throws her arms out to the side and crosses her right foot over her left "TA-DAH!" she gestures before taking a bow "Thank you, thank you"

You see a faint glimmer of fear cross Vicki Vale's face for a split second but she regains her composure with lighting speed like the true professional she is.

"Well Ladies and..." Vicki says turning to the camera before correcting herself "Well Ladies. I seem to have been joined by former Arkham Asylum Doctor Harleen Quinzel, or as you may know her better, former Arkham Asylum Patient Harley Quinn"

"Hey blondie" Harley says with a menacing tone "They know who I am, I just introduced myself, so I'm gonna take that as a cheap shot at me"

"Take it anyway you want" Vicki replies standing her ground.

Harley pauses for a moment and you can tell by the dark look on her face that she's pondering whether or not she should just kill her and be done with it, when suddenly Vicki interrupts her thoughts, probably saving her own life.

"So tell me, Harley" she asks "What do you make of all this?"

"Well Vicki, I can call you Vicki. can't I?" Harley says, distracted like a cat with a piece of string "I think that we're in a whole heap of trouble .Now normally I'd be the first one in line for some good old fashioned chaos but this whole Kablamo thing has taken Mistah J away with the rest of the losers and that dog just won't hunt, monsignor."

"Well, thank god for small blessings" Vicki mumbles.

"Anyway" Harley scowls at her "I've figured that it's probably gotten something to do with those new Super Skanks, so..." she beams, pushing Vicki aside, taking her microphone and putting her face as close to the camera as she possibly can "I'm gonna go save the day!"

"You?" Vicki says, taking her microphone back off of Harley "You're gonna save the day? And how do you intend to do that?"

"Well" Harley smiles her sweetest smile "I figured I'd just go around and ask folks what they knew until I found the person behind it, then beat the hell out of them until they make everything right"

"You're just going to ask people?" Vicki says in disbelief.

"Pretty much "Harley replies nodding her head "Of course. I'm not expecting folks to give up their information without a fight, but that's the general idea"

"Well, don't let me keep you" Vicki sighs, obviously convinced that Harley's plan is just too bat shit crazy to work "I have no doubt that you have a lot of people you need to question"

"Oh" Harley grins an evil grin "I do and I thought we'd start with you"

"With me?" Vicki stammers "But I don't know anything"

"Oh..I know that" Harley says, tilting her head to one side "But the whole world knows that you and The Bat have made the beast with two backs on more than one occasion, which means that YOU'RE one of us. And being one of us, your reporting skills would come in very handy. After all, being a reporter is kinda like being a detective, right?"

"But..but" Vicki stumbles over her own tongue, lost for words for the first time in her life and backs away as Harley herds her towards the rear of her car, knocking over the camera in the process.

"Oh don't worry" Harley laughs picking the camera up and pointing it at Vicki "You're not my type, too much of a normal for my tastes but I know someone who thinks you're a knock out"

Vicki spins around and sees you standing there. You smile, raise the mallet and slug her in the head with it sending her crashing to the ground.

"Get it!" Harley squeals into the camera in her hands "A Knock Out!"

You both stand over the **** Vicki Vale.

"Jeez" Harley says concerned "You didn't hit her too hard did you? She's no good to us dead"

"No" you protest "I hardly tapped her"

"Well, that's good" Harley beams at you "Would hate to have to kill you so soon into our wonderful new friendship" She leans down and starts to slap Vicki's face, trying to wake her "Come on blondie" she says "You know the rules, no faking"

Suddenly Vicki's eyes pop open and she looks at you.

"Hmmm" she murmurs from her prone position on the floor "I guess he's kind of good looking"

"Well he ain't no Rembrandt, dat's for sure" Harley laughs "But what he lacks in looks he sure as hell makes up for in the trouser department"

"Really" Vicki says raising an eyebrow "Well then, light's, camera, action"