Let It Breathe

"Hey, I brought wine!" Anna said, holding the bottle up by the neck.

Trevor sighed and let her in. Anna looked around, giving the place a once over. "Damn. They've got you set up a lot better than us." His place was nice. "Where are your glasses?"

"In the kitchen," Trevor said, pointing.

Anna began rifling through cupboards until she found the wine glasses, then dug through the drawers until she found an opener. She uncorked the bottle and went back into the living room, setting the wine down on the table to breathe.

Trevor had already taken a seat, so she sat down too. "How have you been?" she asked.

"Fine. They've got me on a bit of a schedule, but I get out sometimes."

"Nice. Yeah, entertaining someone every night? It's like, have they met you before?"

Trevor gave a shallow laugh. "It's a little rough. I get a break in...five days?"

Anna nodded. "We haven't talked in forever though. Forget about the show. How's life? You still working on the degree?"

"Yeah. I'm getting closer to finishing up."

"Crazy that they brought your advisor on the show."

Trevor winced. "It's definitely weird. You still working at that space rental place?"

She shook her head. "I quit about six months ago. I'm selling insurance now. Corporate clients." That last job had been awful. Her co-workers were terrible. "It's got some perks too. I have a company car, and I can write off a ton of lunches and stuff as business expenses.

"Good for you."

Anna grabbed the bottle and started pouring out two glasses. "So...have you been seeing anyone?" She stared down at her pour as she asked.

"No. I've mostly just been focusing on my work."

"Oh. Yeah. Makes sense. I've been trying but you know. It's really hard out there. Lots of first dates, a few second, but nothing ever seems to stick. You're a catch though. Someone will snatch you up sooner or later."

It was true. He wasn't like, the hottest guy she'd ever dated, because she'd dated some really hot guys, but Trevor was a good boyfriend for the most part.

"Thanks," he said simply.

Anna offered the glass of wine she'd poured for him. He took it, spinning the wine around in the glass but not drinking.

"Have you slept with any of the girls here yet?" she asked.

Trevor made a small **** sound. "No," he said sternly, "I haven't."

Good. That meant she wasn't falling behind in points, she told herself. The satisfaction she felt was, perhaps, a little deeper than just that, but she didn't look into it.

"I get it. Not a lot of great options here are there? I mean you've got two old women, a dude, your sister, and a lesbian."

"Could we just not talk about it?" Trevor asked.

She'd forgotten how sensitive he could be. She pushed down the urge to roll her eyes. He wouldn't like that.

"Fine," she said. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. What have you been up to?"

"Not much. It's pretty boring here. I went to the spa I guess. It's really nice but like, spa days are less fun without the girls, you know?"

"You could have asked someone to go with you."

"I did. Laura said she was busy and Kaya just doesn't like me for some reason."

Trevor stared at her flatly. She hated that look. He could be so condescending sometimes.

"Does it maybe have something to do with what she was yelling about during the contest?" he asked.

"That's what she says, but I apologized for that and she's still mad. Besides, it wasn't a big deal."

"Seems like maybe it was a big deal to her."

"It was a simple misunderstanding. She's like really angry though, so it's got to be something else."

Trevor sighed. "Do you actually care that she's mad at you?"

"Yeah, of course. She's my roommate. I don't want to fight with her all the time."

"Then you need to apologize."

"I told you, I've apologized like a million times. She doesn't care."

"You don't think you did anything wrong though."

"I didn't."

"Then what did you apologize for?"

Trevor could twist your words around. It was one of the hazards of dating a smart guy. "I don't know. For the misunderstanding I guess. She was mad so I said I'm sorry."

"Well then there you go. Whether you actually did it or not, she's still mad because you haven't apologized for the thing she thinks you did."

Anna drained her glass of wine and poured another. Put that way, she could kind of see Trevor's point. She really did want to just get along. Why did things always have to be so hard?

"I wish people could just let stuff go," she muttered.

"Careful what you wish for. Kaya thinks you betrayed her, so if you expect her to forgive you then what if she betrays you in the future? Will you forgive her?"

"I didn't betray her though."

Trevor shrugged. "She thinks you did, so she's going to act like it's true whether or not it is. It's a big deal to her, so if you want her to forgive you then you need to treat it like it's a big deal to you too."

"Even thought it's not."

"Even though you don't think it is."

Begrudgingly, Anna had to admit that Trevor had a point there too. Kaya might be wrong, but she didn't seem to know that. If Anna couldn't make her understand then she might need to just pretend in order to smooth things over.

"I'll think about it."

This was all way to serious though. When had things gotten that way?

Anna stood up to walk around the living room, stopping at a shelf with some speakers set up on top.

"Do you have any music?" she asked.

"I don't know. I didn't set it up."

Anna looked around and found an old MP3 player hooked up to the speaker system. Browsing through it she was surprised to find a huge catalog of music. They had everything on this thing.

"Oh," she squealed, "here we go."

She put on a poppy song with a latin beat. As the track began to pick up she stepped her way over to Trevor.

"Remember anything from those salsa classes?" she asked him, smiling.

He had really made her work to get him to go to those, but eventually she'd managed to drag him along.

"I don't want to dance, Anna."

"Oh come on," she pouted.

Moving her hips to the beat she reached down and took hold of his hand, slowly pulling him out of his chair as she danced backwards.

"Really, Anna. I don't want to dance."

"It'll be fun," she insisted.

She folded his hand in hers, then guided his other hand onto her hip. Slowly he began to move his feet in time with hers. Anna led the pair into a gliding dance around the living room. Trevor was starting to loosen up, and a smile even began to crack through his dour expression. He could be a real curmudgeon, but Anna had always known how to get him out of his shell.

She initiated a spin and Trevor turned under her arm. They swung away from each other, only their finger tips touching, then pulled back together.

Anna ran her hand over his chest. Simple moments like these had always been the high points of their relationship. As they danced Anna reminisced about lazy nights spent cuddling on the couch.

Trevor raised his arm up and she dipped beneath it, spinning around. With her back to him she dropped low and shook her ass on the way back up, then finished the spin and fell back into step.

Trevor's hand returned to it's place on her hip. That brought back an entirely different set of memories. The sex had been fantastic. She'd had hookups since him, of course, but nobody who knew her body as well as he had.

When the song ended Trevor pulled away from her and walked back to the table to take a seat. He was actually smiling. She was glad to see it; his mood had been so sour when she'd first shown up.

Anna poured some more wine for herself, though she stayed standing, lightly stepping along with the next song in a half-dancing rhythm.

"Thanks," Trevor said. "I think I needed that."

A heat rapidly spread from Anna's chest through the rest of her body and a sense of calm joy settled over her mind like a blanket fresh from the dryer. Anna felt like she was floating on a cloud. There was something else too; she was suddenly very aware of how good Trevor looked leaning back in his chair like that. It really showed off his chest. She'd always loved his chest. When had she gotten so turned on?

The wine must have set in much faster than she'd thought it would. But no, this felt too good for wine, this was something else. Trevor hadn't **** her, had he? She giggled. It was a ridiculous thought. He'd never do that.

She looked over to see Trevor studying her with a raised eyebrow. That's when it clicked. Her transformation. She'd pleased him, and this was her reward.

And then, a weight lifted from her heart that she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying. Trevor was happy. He was having a good time with her.

He didn't hate her.

"You doing ok?" he asked, looking amused.

"I'm doing great," she slurred.

"Yeah. I think I'm just going to go ahead and put this in the kitchen," he said, grabbing the wine.

Anna frowned as she watched him carry away her bottle. It was ok though. She had a much better **** now.

"Bathrooms in here?" she called out, looking towards the bedroom.

"Yep, right around the corner," Trevor called back.

"I'll be right back then," she said, smiling to herself.

***

Trevor sat the wine bottle down on the counter and went looking for a wine stopper to plug it with. He didn't remember Anna being such a lightweight. His head, of course, was completely clear. He hadn't had a drop. He'd planned on keeping his wits about him this night.

Maybe that caution had been misplaced though. So far, Anna's visit had not been the disaster he'd feared. This was the first time they'd really spoken since their breakup. He'd had no idea what to expect. The prospect of being locked in a room with her had been understandably worrying. Maybe she'd calmed down some since back in the day though. The night had been light and easy. Fun.

"Hey Trevor?" Anna called out. "Could you come in here for a second?"

Giving up on the wine stopper, Trevor made his through the living room to see what she wanted. He wasn't ready for what he found though.

As he rounded the doorway into his bedroom he was presented with Anna laying back on his bed in nothing but a lacy set of underwear and her collar.

"Think you could give me a hand here?" she asked coyly.

Oh god damn it.

"Anna what the fuck?"

"Come on, it's nothing you haven't seen before." She crawled around so that she was facing him on all fours.

"This is not going to happen," he told her, still a little in shock.

"Calm down Trevor. I'm not talking about getting back together or anything. Just a little fun."

He could not believe her.

"Put your clothes on," he said, turning around and stalking back into the living room.

Trevor dropped down into the conversation pit and put his head between his hands. What the fuck was she thinking?

Still in her underwear, Anna stormed out of the bedroom staring daggers at him. "What is your problem?"

"What's my problem?"

"You are such an asshole!"

"Because I won't have sex with you?"

"Oh, yeah, because I really wanted to fuck you. Get your head out of your ass Trevor. I need the points."

A pit opened up in Trevor's stomach. Nat had been right. She usually was, but even still this was faster than usual. He just sat there, completely unsure of what to do.

"Say something!" she shrieked.

"I'm just...processing."

"You can be such a selfish prick sometimes. We were having a good night and then you had to blow it all up with some weird power play."

Trevor sputtered. "Come again?"

"Stop being cute. I'm done with your shit."

It was like he'd been dragged back in time. He thought he'd escaped all this, but here he was yet again. Stuck in a fight that only half made sense. Except this time he didn't care if they made up afterwards.

"Anna, this isn't a power play," he said incredulously. "I don't want to have sex with you because you cheated on me and the thought of us being intimate makes me physically sick."

"Oh my god. I was taken advantage of! A good boyfriend would have been there for me!"

"You got plastered at a bar and went home with a stranger. More than once. You're not a victim Anna."

Her face was bright red at this point. "Fuck you. You think you're so much better than everyone else, like you walk on water!"

"I don't know if it counts as a miracle, but I can manage to grab a beer without tripping onto some guy's dick. Can you pull that one off?"

"That's it. Call me a whore. Take it all out on me. Just like daddy taught you."

Trevor's voice grew cold. "Watch yourself Anna."

She laughed bitterly. "I guess I can't blame you. Maybe if you'd had a mother you'd know how to have an actual conversation with a woman."

Trevor shot to his feet, his fists balled at his side. He needed to leave. Now.

"Trevor!" She shouted after him, but he had already slammed the door shut behind him.

***

As soon as he was gone Anna's tears started to flow.

That had not gone great.

There was just something about Trevor that made her go crazy. Things didn't need to be this way. If he'd just come to bed then everything would have been fine. Great even.

Suddenly feeling like an idiot standing there in her underwear Anna went back into the bedroom and made her way to Trevor's closet. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and stared at her stupid fucking collar. Screaming she grabbed hold of it and pulled, but of course it didn't give. Bitch.

Still crying, she gave up on the collar and slipped on one of Trevor's t-shirts. Anna crawled under the covers of the bed and curled up.

Everything was always so complicated when Trevor was involved. Other guys? She'd get into her underwear, they'd have sex, done. Only he would blow the whole thing up instead.

So why was she crying? This wasn't her fault.

She missed the good times. She remembered nights out with Trevor, laughing with friends. She remembered getting back and cuddling up with him in bed, falling asleep warm and comfortable and safe. She'd always assumed that she'd find another guy after him, and she probably would have eventually, but all she'd manage to turn up was a string of casual relationships. Which were definitely fun, but it wasn't the same.

As her tears began to dry up Anna thought back to earlier in the night, to the dancing and the way she'd felt after Trevor thanked her. Anna shivered. She wanted more of that. That bliss. That clarity. That certainty that he was happy with her.

Trevor was gone for a long time. After a while Anna flipped on the TV, staring blankly as some drama played out on the screen.

At last she heard the suite's door open and close. Her heart jumped up into her throat as Trevor's silhouette appeared in the bedroom doorway.

"Trevor..." she began.

"No." His voice was steel. She'd never seen him like this before, and it scared her. "We're done talking. I'm not allowed to kick you out, but you don't say another word for the rest of the night. Do you understand?"

Unsure of what else to do she nodded, unspoken words dying on her lips.

Trevor changed quickly and slipped under the covers, staying firmly on his half of the bed. She was doing what he wanted, staying quiet, but the feeling from earlier didn't come back. She sulked. He didn't seem to notice.

Eventually Trevor began to snore. Once it was safe to she looked over at him with tired eyes. For the first time since he'd stormed out he looked at peace.