Less talk, more action, by salam123

“Well Marcie, that's at least a title I can get behind.”

“As you might suspect, this is yet again a branch path. This time from a story called “Your girlfriend is a werewolf”

“That sounds like some Twilight shit. Or Furry shit.”

“There is also quite a bit of backstory before this path begins.”

“43 CHAPTERS!”

“Quite.”

“I'm not reading all this shit!”

“Don't worry, Gina. I thought it might be a fun experiment to just jump right into Less talk, more action, by salam123 and see how that works out.”

“That is an awful idea. Lets do it.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Huh, I'm actually surprised, Marcie.”

“About what, Gina?”

“This was fucking easy to follow. Starting at chapter 40+ was not an issue at all.”

“It does make you wonder on what drivel the original author wasted these chapters, but alas...”

“Do the summary.”

“This is the story of Max and Jenny (names customizable) Jenny is a werewolf who turned Max, but the two are madly in love, so that is of no issue. Oh, and there are also vampires.”

“Holy cow, this IS some Twilight shit!”

“I am afraid I have not read that particular series but I am sure this is an accurate representation.”

“For a story about some furry werewolves, they sure don't spend much time as furries.”

“That is true. The story is more interested in having the two go on dates and watching their teacher have sex with students.”

“There is even a plot point that the two are unable to transform for some reason. Like, what the fuck?”

“You sound disappointed.”

“Oh, fuck you, Marcie. Why write a fucking werewolf story when they don't turn into werewolves!”

“It is certainly an odd choice. But then again, the whole plot structure in this is thrown together rather haphazardly.”

“This lovestruck shitshow goes on for about 40 mercifully short chapters, before the author finally decides to actually have something exciting happening.

With this chapter the introduction period of the werewolf MC is concluded. It's time to meet the pack and start wars. I'll need a lot of new characters to fill up friendly and enemy spots, so i will try to update the character page even if most of them will die fighting. Do check it, if things get confusing.

“This is adorable. The author is clearly going through the adolescent phase and is most likely too young for this site.”

“You sure it's not just because the writer's a moron?”

“Absolutely not. I smell the fresh scent of immaturity on this one. If I had to profile...13 year old girl with braces and freckles.”

“That's fucking creepy Marcie.”

“Nonsense. I wager there are many underage writers on here. Just try to not creep on this one, Gina.”

“You are the...! Ugh..just get on with it!”

“Very well. The author promises us wars and we get wars. Well, kinda.”

“Jenny gets kidnapped by the military and Max isn't happy about it.”

“Understandable.”

“I mean, yeah, but he just comes across as a whiny brat throwing a temper tantrum. And when he doesn't whine, he kills people.”

“There is even a trigger warning on the chapters that have .”

“Which is way exaggerated. I bet engin doesn't even get wet for this level of gore.”

“What prompts that in the first place, is Max overhearing a conversation between his pack leader and a vampire, conspiring.”

“Are these fucks retarded? Why the fuck do they conspire in the open? The same happens earlier with the military pervert guy! These morons wouldn't last five seconds in our school.”

“Hm yes, it is this type of plot contrivance you really want to avoid as an author.”

“Whatever, murderous rampage time.”

“Indeed. Max heads over to the military base that holds Jenny captive. One soldier confronts him and starts to massage his crotch.”

“Don't ask.”

“Things escalate quickly.”

This isn't even your fault, your hand moved before you could think what to do..

“This is in relation to Max killing military molester dude. Yeah, bud, I don't think that holds up in court.”

“There is a considerable amount of justification for Max's rather callous actions throughout the story. Most of it feels quite hypocritical. This could be an interesting character flaw, but it does not look like the story wants to explore that facet.”

“So, because Max is a dumbass that can't control himself, the military is now aware of and tries to kill him. Unfortunately, that does not happen as Max gets saved by his fellow furries who happens to attack the base at just the perfect moment.”

“It does feel obnoxiously convenient.”

“So, Max murders his way through the base.”

You pick him up and push him towards the door. "Open it!"

“There is a potentially funny bit here, where Max maims both hands of a scientist and then demands he opens a door, to which the scientist responds that he can't. Because get it? He has no hands!”

“Yeah, hilarious, Marcie.”

“Now, I say potentially funny, because the story never acknowledges the joke. Instead, Max's reaction is to smash the scientist against the door in a fit of rage. Very disappointing.”

you never planned to let anyone alive. People need to know what will happen when someone will mess with your mate.

“Hey edgelord! In that case, maybe let some people life so that they can tell the tale?”

“Of course the sheer notion that people, as in the government, will stop hunting him now that Max has exterminated a military base is...Gina you have such a way with words.”

“fucking stupid!”

“Quite so. Unfortunately, this is where the story ends, so we do not get to witness the government hunting and euthanizing every werewolf in the vicinity for what was clearly an act of war.”

“Apparently there is a sequel, so maybe the author will shudder request a follow up.”

“Well Gina, any general thoughts on this story?”

“It fucking sucked.”

“Lovely. But unfortunately I am inclined to agree. The pacing was all over the place. The plot had many contrivances. The writing was borderline script with a copious amount of spelling errors and neither Max nor Jenny where particularly compelling characters.”

“And I couldn't get off to it!”

“Oh, now I feel bad for the author. She is clearly young and trying her best, so I don't want to be too harsh on her.”

“Yeah well, sucks to suck, I guess.”

“Anything positive, Gina?”

“It's not the absolute worst shit I read.”

“I can agree with that. Keep trying young author! Don't let Gina's mean words discourage you!”

“Oh, for fucks sake, lets end this dumpster fire already!”

Well, I suppose there is only one question left.”

“What, Marcie?”

“Is this a better love story then twilight?”

“Fuck if I know. I don't read shit unless I'm to.”