Leaving the dungeon

“Good fight. It got a little dicey there toward the end. I’m glad you were able to resolve it without needing my assistance,” Jasmine congratulated him, as she extended her hand to help him up.

“Thanks for the lift. Yeah, it was scary, felt like my chest caved in from that one punch. I shudder to think about what would have happened if I took a hit from that cleaver.” Back on his feet, he stretched his legs. After the intense fight, his whole body felt like jelly. “I gained quite a bit from that battle, two item drops, plus I have twelve stat points available. I’m going to take some time to think more long term and decide how I want to raise my stats, instead of being reactive,” he mused while removing the strength potion and cleaver from his inventory. The cleaver was too heavy for him to hold, causing him to drop the weapon. He cast Observe on the drops he received from his first boss.

The Observe screens caused him to frown. “Neither of these are remotely useful to me. My agility is my second highest stat. Oh, wait, third, libido is second. Not that it seems to have any use,” he corrected himself, storing his loot again.

“Might be useless to you, but I’m pretty sure you can make a decent profit off them, once you get an Abyss Auction account set up. We’ll do that after we get your phone on the Abyss’s network,” she said, informing him of other ways to use the loot.

“Neat. Speaking of profit, I wonder if there is some sort of bonus around here. Maybe a hidden chest in the champion’s dwelling. I’m going to check it out real fast.” Thinking like the gamer he was, John rushed over to the fallen tree for any loot. Upon entering, a rancid stink nauseated him and instantly made him regret checking for treasure. Especially since the interior was pretty barren; there were only a few shabby pelts layered on the floor he assumed were used for sleeping on. He rushed out of the empty home gasping for fresh air to get the lingering smell out of his nostrils.

Jasmine was laughing her ass off watching him react as if he had inhaled poison and was on the verge of dying. “That was hilarious, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, but I really hope I never encounter a smell like that again,” John responded waving his hand while wrinkling his nose. “I hoped with the goblins crap drop rate that maybe there was some extra loot. Guess I was being too optimistic.”

Still snickering childishly the reporter responded, “That’s a bit of a dumb assumption then. If you’d been paying attention, seven of the crappy knives faded away along with the goblin bodies. Meaning the drop rate wasn’t all that bad in this swamp dungeon, only the quality of their loot was trash.” Her laughing finally calmed down as she pointed out his mistake.

“I wish I had been paying attention, I wouldn’t have subjected my nose to that ****,” he whined berating his negligence. Deciding to move on, he shifted topics, “We’ve been in here for a few hours now, do you think we can slip back into Meadow’s house yet? I’m sure I missed a call or two from my mother by now. I doubt she would be fine with me being out too late no matter what my father said,” he asked, peeking at his phone and noticing his last text to Brenda informing her that he was about to watch a movie was over three and a half hours ago.

“Two of my friends work for the police; their shift to monitor your friend’s house starts around thirty minutes from now. Here, take my phone, use it to give your mom a call. Tell her some spiel about how your phone died, then make an excuse like you just sat down to eat and say you’ll be home in an hour or so,” Jasmine said, handing her phone to him.

“Thanks, I’ll call her now,” he said, dialing in his mother's number.

“Hello, who is this?” Brenda asked nervously.

“Hey Mom, it’s me, sorry I didn’t call sooner. I hadn’t been paying attention and my phone died without me noticing. I’m borrowing someone else’s phone so I have to be quick,” he answered, casually lying to his mother once again, apologizing in his heart as he tried his best to not let any of the day's events slip to her accidentally.

“John, I’m so glad that it's you. I was worried this was someone calling to tell me something happened to you now. After not hearing back from you, I was worried, especially because my calls kept going to voicemail.” He could tell she relaxed after hearing his voice. “That was very irresponsible of you to let your phone die, you should hurry home. I don’t feel comfortable with you wandering around without a way to contact me, plus it’s getting late,” she scolded him, while requesting he return.

“Mom, I just sat down to get a bite to eat. The lady who is letting me use her phone is looking for her charger, her cord matches my phone. She said I could charge my phone until she finishes her meal, so we will be able to reach each other again. I’ll head home after I eat, that should take me an hour or so depending on which bus I catch.”

“Alright sweetie, that sounds like a plan. Text me as soon as your phone is back on. Where are you eating right now? So I know where to go if I don’t get a text from you in ten minutes.” It came out like a joke but he knew his mother would really do it. “Also, if you have any money left over, give the nice woman a few dollars for helping you out.”

“I just ordered two slices of pizza at Gino’s, Mom. I’ll make sure I text you once I get a little charge. I have some money left, I’ll give the nice lady a few dollars,” he said watching Jasmine silently laugh at his interaction with Brenda. “I’ve got to go now, love you, Mom.”

“Love you too. Don’t forget, ten minutes or I’m rushing over,” she responded before ending the call.

“Go on, get it out of your system. You’re going to say something clever like ‘I’m a momma’s boy’, am I right?” he asked, rolling his eyes at the smirking reporter.

“Honestly, I thought it was sweet. Sure, it was amusing, but I miss interactions like that with my birth parents,” she responded honestly, her grin hiding any painful feelings she may have had. “Sure, I have my father, but it’s not the same.”

He felt a bit guilty snapping at her for thinking she was going to make fun of him. “I’m sorry, you just...”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I was only speaking my mind. My family has been gone for many years now,” Jasmine interjected to stop his remorseful apology. “Let’s get out of this barrier before your mother turns Springfield upside down looking for you,” she said pointing out that time was being wasted.

“Good point, let’s go,” John responded. He was about to use his Exit Barrier skill when he realized the state of his clothes. His pants were ripped and muddy from sitting wherever to relax between fights, while his shirt was in tatters and had a giant hole from when the champion had punched him. The Gamer switched to his previous pair of pants that were only slightly ripped by the rabbits and stood there shirtless since both of his shirts would cause a scene in public. “I have no idea how to explain my clothes to Mom. Jasmine, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare shirt for me to wear, would you?” he inquired, hoping to not have to walk around shirtless.

“Sadly, I’m not in the habit of keeping menswear on me. Plus, I think the shirtless look makes you seem quite handsome,” the woman answered with lecherous eyes. “Of course, I did just watch you have a deathmatch with a behemoth like the Goblin Champion. If we weren’t in this nasty swamp, I would have already jumped your bones, as that was a very arousing fight to watch. See?” Jasmine said, pulling her right hand out of her jeans, revealing a bit of moisture on her fingers.

Flushed at her very bold response, John had trouble formulating his own. After all, he was a sex hungry virgin that wrote smut to channel his urges. “Uh…” He paused while his brain rebooted. “I’m seriously flattered, but I really need to not worry my mom anymore. We need to get out of this barrier now, so I can text her. Are you sure you’ve got nothing to help cover me up? I really can’t walk around my neighborhood shirtless.”

“You’re so adorable. I’ll stop playing with you now because I don’t want you getting in trouble. I ordered an Ashcroft men’s uniform from the Abyss Auction earlier. It should be sitting in my car now. Follow me and you can use your trick to get changed in my car,” she said, exiting the barrier, not giving him a chance to pose anymore questions.

’Oh gosh, that woman is gonna overload my brain. I don’t know why I keep resisting her advances,’ he thought to himself before activating his skill.