Lanus, the fortunate feline. (Bad Luck)

Jervale's mind's eye fell on Lanus still in bed, his sheets tussled from a night of restless sleep as the young man snored loudly, the patchy calico cat ears emerging from his curly blonde hair occasionally twitching. Jervale almost averted his eye as he realized the vassal was sleeping completely in the nude, but sighed and resigned himself to it. Every night, that guy seemed to fall asleep a different way... not like this was the first time the all-seeing butler had found himself suddenly scoping the other man's freckled, fair body, either, seeing the once-unusual sight of a twitching cat tail that terminated just above his butt crack...

"Lanus is still asleep. I'd say he's lucky to be able to sleep in while the rest of us are hard at work, but that doesn't rank on the list of the top one hundred things that are lucky about this man.

Lanus doesn't fight. He doesn't work. He doesn't let anything bother him. He has no long term goals, not even in terms of a day, only flights of fancy that see him roaming from one floor of the tower to the next. He is constantly chewing on that leaf of his, which I honestly believe has some narcotic quality that leaves him in a perpetual stoner's high with none of the downsides. He can be mysterious, but he mostly seems to have simple desires: eat, fuck, and sleep. And, of course, he can fall asleep anywhere.

Long ago, I cursed a cat that somehow roamed in here, just as a test to see what would happen. Thus, I transformed that beast into the lackadaisical layabout I now see before me. Ordinarily... when he's not sleeping in the buff, that is... he dresses in something like a colorful bell-ended cloak and undershorts alone, preferring to travel barefoot. He has no fighting ability, nor any strategic knowledge. I'm not quite sure he knows he has ever been in a fight. Does he know what a fight is?

Now, to rewind a moment: Lanus is a defender, but, as I wrote, he doesn't fight. How can that be, you ask? Lanus 'suffers' from the Curse of Luck. This is a particularly odd curse, and a particularly astounding one to be wasted on a cat. Whoever challenges Lanus runs into... a series of bad luck for them or good luck for him, depending on how you look at it. This is one of the oddest curses for me to witness, because it doesn't necessarily even manifest as a change in the form or character of the challenger: instead, things just start going wrong for them. It can be a strong gust of wind; a sudden failure of the lights; an obstacle which pops up out of nowhere; equipment that suddenly falls apart; rooms that suddenly fall apart! I swear that I have witnessed rules and states of entire planets transformed simply to affect any small change in this man's moment-to-moment situation that even slightly benefits him. That is not even to speak of all the time his opponents are literally falling all over him.

Naturally, among the many buffoons I share space with, I find him the most vexing. I would so like to see him suffer for it one day, but I can say with confidence that day will never come.

...

Can he at least cover that huge thing of his up while he sleeps?! An unfairly blessed individual, indeed!"