LGBTQI-Asian

Josh was flipping through the countless rules displayed on his screen when suddenly his phone started buzzing. It was his friend Jane Kim calling him. He sighed, wondering if he should even pick it up. He knew exactly what she was calling him about. His friends were planning on heading to the Pride Parade downtown this afternoon and Jane was surely calling to see if Josh would go along.

Look, Josh was progressive as they come, but he always felt Pride month was just a bit too in your face. He went to the parade last year and some float with half-naked guys was handing out dildos and some asshole decide to throw one at the crowd. It soared through the air and hit Josh directly in the face. Sure, Josh knew it was an accident, but that didn't make having to explain his black-eye to everyone for the next week less embarrassing.

He let the call go to voicemail as his mind wondered and soon Jane followed up with a text.

"Hey Josh! Let me know if you're meeting up with us for the parade? It'll be a ton of fun I promise!"

Josh rolled his eyes. "Yeah right..." he grumbled, thinking about the hot sun, crowds, and dehydration that awaited him if he went. "Well...Jane...you could convince me to cum in other ways..." Josh thought to himself with a grin. You see, Josh had a thing for...well he had an Asian fetish. And Jane? Well she was exactly his type. Short, petite, spunky, and most importantly, Korean. He'd had a crush on his friend Jane for years, but alas she swung the other way and wasn't interested in guys like Josh. Hell she wasn't interested in guys at all. She fell in the "L" piece of LGBTQIA, though Josh was grateful she fell on the femme side of lesbian.

Plus, Jane knew Josh had a thing for Asian girls. It was hard for him to hide it since his last three girlfriends were Chinese, Vietnamese, and Japanese, in that order. Thankfully she (and all his friends) just teased him about it, but secretly he knew it made her a tad uncomfortable. "If only there was a way to change that..." Josh wondered.

Josh was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone buzzed again, but this time it was a notification from the weird rule app he was looking at earlier.

USER PREDICAMENT DEDICATED: SUGGESTED RULE CHANGE TO RESOLVE

"What the hell?" Josh said under his breath. Curious, he re-opened the app and a prompt appeared.

CURRENT RULE: LGBTQIA STANDS FOR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, QUEER, INTERSEX, ASEXUAL

SUGGESTED RULE CHANGE: LGBTQIA STANDS FOR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, QUEER, INTERSEX, ASIAN FETISH

WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCEPT THIS RULE CHANGE?

Josh stared at the screen flabbergasted.

"How the hell did it...does it know my...how does it know I was thinking of going to the parade....What??"

Surely this was just a joke of an app, right? It couldn't be for real... could it? Josh's mind raced at the possibilities. Throwing caution to the wind, Josh decided to see what would happen and he hit the accept button. A loading circle appeared and after a few seconds a new prompt popped up.

RULE CHANGE WILL RESULT IN 27 OTHER IMMEDIATE RULE CHANGES. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PREVIEW BEFORE CONTINUING?

Josh figured the app was trying to warn him, so he hit the preview button and a long list of new rules popped up. He scanned down the list, some were pretty tame but a several caught his eye:

CONFORMING RULE 2: INDIVIDUALS WITH AN ASIAN FETISH ARE GENERALLY ACCEPTED IN MODERN SOCIETY, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MORE CONSERVATIVE COMMUNITIES THAT VIEW IT AS IMMORAL.

CONFORMING RULE 4: IT IS WIDELY ACCEPTED THAT INDIVIDUALS WITH AN ASIAN FETISH ARE BORN WITH IT AND CANNOT CHANGE THEIR SEXUALITY.

CONFORMING RULE 6: ASIAN FETISHISM PRIMARILY IMPACTS STRAIGHT WHITE MEN, WITH 20% OF WHITE MEN IDENTIFY AS HAVING AN ASIAN FETISH AND ANOTHER 15% IDENTIFYING AS ASIAN-CURIOUS.

CONFORMING RULE 9: THE ASIAN FETISH PRIDE FLAG IS COMPRISED OF FOUR LINES OF VARIOUS SHADES OF THE COLOR YELLOW.

CONFORMING RULE 11: YOUNGER INDIVIDUALS ARE MORE ACCEPTING OF THOSE WITH AN ASIAN FETISH, WITH SUPPORT BEING NEARLY UNANIMOUS FOR THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 40.

Josh continued to scroll down the list when he spotted a couple of rules that made his eyes bulge out.

CONFORMING RULE 17: MOST ASIAN WOMEN FIND HAPPINESS AND JOY IN BEING THE OBJECT OF DESIRE FOR MEN WITH AN ASIAN FETISH.

CONFORMING RULE 18: IT IS VERY COMMON FOR ASIAN WOMEN TO SEEK OUT SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN WITH ASIAN FETISHES, ESPECIALLY WITH WHITE MEN WHO MOST ASIAN WOMEN VIEW AS IDEAL PARTNERS.

And then Josh spotted a rule that made him hit accept without scrolling any further.

CONFORMING RULE 23: MORE PROGRESSIVE ASIAN WOMEN BELIEVE IT IS THEIR DUTY TO SEXUALLY SATISFY MEN WITH ASIAN FETISHES AT ANYTIME, IN ANYWAY, IN ANY PLACE.

The loading icon popped up again and Josh's world suddenly went white.