Kinktober #2

This is a Monster Girl Encyclopedia fanfiction.

Mimic / Pumpkin

500 YEARS AGO

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The Knight of Light leveled his sword in defiance towards the Knight of Darkness. His comrades had fallen. Even the sun had escaped behind the horizon, leaving its last rays to settle on the thin cover of clouds upon the indigo sky.
Mustering his last strength, the Knight of Light rushed forward. She met him with a single sweep of her sword, and his weapon launched upwards. She promtly kicked him to the ground, pushing him down with her boot by stepping on his torn chest plate.
"Tsk... You are stubborn, I give you that. But it shall not be in stubbornness that humans excel monsters in, nor anything else. Such a fool's errand, resisting the might of the Demon Lord. A fool's **** suits you well." The Knight of Darkness announced, as the Knight of Light spat on her boot. She proceeded without a flinch, flipping her sword to grab it in an icepick grip and hovered it over his face.
The blade fell towards the Knight in of Light. He was pinned to the ground, helpless but in praying to the god he had served to the bitter end...

PRESENT DAY

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Under normal circumstances the gentleman and monster hunter wouldn't dream of leaving his coach before a lady. On this occasion, however, he had found a new case. A case to make him positively bubbly with excitement. Yet he was confined to the carriage for the good side of two days, so that he simply couldn't help himself. With light steps he walked into the sunlight before his assistant.

Not that Edna minded. She had neither the time or patience for courtesy and formality. The auburn haired woman in chainmail was, like she always did, clutching her clipboard against her chest as she followed Dr vanClovert out of the carriage.

"Ah, what serendipity. What joy, to be relieved of those diminutive confines once and for all! It is a scientific fact that man is ill suited for such small spaces, Edna." the monster hunter declared as he took in the scenery of the crowded maritime street.

"Whatever you say, doctor vanClovert." Edna said in a dispassionate manner.

"Pardon me?" The one who spoke was a tall, stout man with bronze skin and a fuzzy beard hugging close to his jawline, the suspenders that held up his gray trousers digging themselves into his protruding belly. "By chance, might you be the monster hunter we sent for?" He extended his large calloused hands towards vanClovert.
"In the flesh." The doctor grabbed the gentleman's hand with both his gloved hands and shook once, "Doctor Jonathan vanClovert, expert on all things natural and occult. At your service. And this is my lovely assistant Edna."
"Ah, pleasure to make your acquaintance ma'am." Tobias aimed his hand towards her, but was only met with an expressionless stare, "... I do hope the trip here wasn't too much of a bother."
"It served to relocate us from Pallasandria to here at Dovers within seventy two minutes delay, which I can attribute only to the functionality of the vehicle in question." The woman pushed her clipboard to the large man's extended hand and afforded him a feather-pencil and a small black bottle, "By agreeing to doctor vanClovert's advice and assistance you must agree to certain terms and conditions regarding liability and confidentiality. He cannot initiate his investigation before you have signed this here document here, here here and here... And initials here." Edna explained the bureaucracy and instructed the poor dockworker. He looked at the expressive monster hunter for a reaction, whose countenance related nothing more than delight that he was not on that side of the clipboard.
Tobias sighed and dripped his signature on the allotted lines. Edna examined his handiwork with a focused yet emotionless expression, pulled the paper out of the clipboard and inserted it into a folder.
"Very well, mister Tobias. Proceed to relate the paranormal incident with as exact detail as you can recall."

As the skipper explained his story, they roamed the streets of Dovers. For the occasion of the harvest festival, each household had carved a pumpkin into a face and used it as a lantern in order to ward off evil spirits. A highly unscientific method, vanClovert observed, but it kept the minds of the civilians at ease.
"See our vessel The Compatriot is a four masted schooner. A dedicated salvager. For safely transporting vessels of historical significance that fell upon the worst of fates in their course. Our current expedition was due to data that related us the coordinates of the five hundred year old warship Scrappy CXII, that after surviving one frightful battle after another ironically fell upon a storm of the century on its journey home. Quite a catch as you can imagine. We managed to salvage weapons, armour, uniform and even some medals of that time... But the prize catch must have been the chest located in the captain's quarters. Oh sweet merciful Lord... Two inch blackwood timber with brass rims; all in impeccable condition. We loaded it on The Compatriot, but found an important piece missing; the key. Hell, we couldn't find the lock either, it just wouldn't open. So we decided, wait until shore and open it once we've docked. First mate James had curiosity on his mind though, but we convinced him to hold his horses. Four days later we docked during the night. Now we couldn't go around town without the paperwork, so the last night was spent on board as well. On the next morning, James was nowhere to be seen, and the chest was opened."

"Prey tell what was inside?"
"Nothing... Completely empty. Not only was there no treasure, but James himself had gone up in smoke!"
"Excuse me," Edna interrupts, "but would it not be prudent to consider your colleague in fact opened the chest on his own, and left the vessel with its content?"
"Why Edna! No need to entertain such drivel! It is plain as day that men of the sea, united by the very vessel that carry them across the sea, have to live, and die, by a code of camaraderie and brotherhood more valuable than their very own frail existence! Is that not so Tobias?"
"Yeah, exactly... but really though, the reason we know that couldn't have happened the way the lady described is cause we know he went inside the hold, and the hold was locked from the inside. Had to break down the door, we did."
"By my word... are you saying what I think I am hearing? Because it looks like we have a classical locked room mystery on our menu tonight. Oh, one seldom gets an opportunity to solve these things, is that not so, Edna?"
"Most certainly, sir."
"Do not worry, my dear Tobias. I shall figure out what has become of our elusive Jamesford or so help me god!"
"Thank you sir... who is Jamesford though?"
"Why the name of your colleague of course! It is a scientific fact that any man or woman cannot in truth have a first name of one or one and half syllables, so I deduced the true name of the missing shiphand from the information afforded to me. An elementary exercise, really."

When the sun was still high vanClovert and Edna arrived at the dockyard where The Compatriot was secured. It was a new ship, but the few ventures it had embarked upon had already aged it. The shiphands having succumbed to boredom had come to spend their times inventing games and playing it. At that moment they were playing a variation of four in a row wherein they had to bid on certain squares. vanClovert was almost left behind from staring at this game but soon caught up when he discovered they had no intention of waiting on him.

"Surely the crew have not stayed holed up in their ship even after having been docked for over five days now?"
"That's exactly right, doctor. None of these men are going anywhere before this matter has settled. They don't want to nor can they."

Edna wrote down anything she heard or observed as they entered the staircase leading to under the ship, back where the hold was. The crates and barrels were suspended with ropes to the walls, a pumpkin lantern placed on top of a small crate lighting the hold for all to see. At the center of the room was a huge chest of ornate dark timber with golden hinges. vanClovert took a moment to admire the auburn moustache adorning his chubby face, adjusting his round bottleneck glasses to get a proper look.
He opened the chest to find it was indeed empty, leaning in to make sure the emptiness was no illusion.
"Now tell me Edna, what makes you of this conundrum?"
"The preponderance of evidence appears to point to a single conclusion; the first mate James was attacked by a mimic hidden in the chest."
"A mimic?" Tobias asked, stroking his beard.
"Indeed. A type of monster with intimate knowledge of dungeons and labyrinths, who can warp themselves into chests where they lie in wait for their prey, usually an unsuspecting male adventurer; in this case an all too curious shiphand."
"Astounding work, Edna! Most astute observation and flawless reasoning... that is to say, were it not for the singular detail that this is in fact not a chest."
"It's... not a chest?" Tobias said confounded, "What is it then?"
vanClovert pats a symbol inscribed on the inside of the lid of the alleged chest, "See this symbol over here? As it happens it is the Order insignia for safe passage in the hereafter." At the end of the explanation vanClovert's playful and bubbly atmosphere had vanished. Instead he exuded an aura of bitterness and intimidation, his words carrying a coldness to them they didn't have before; "This is a coffin."
"I... beg your pardon? A coffin?" Tobias asked.
"Yes... a mimic has never been known to enter a coffin intended for the dead, but the dead are known occasionally to be restless. We are, it seems, in the company of the undead."
"I see... doctor, it seems your brilliance has pierced yet another mystery, Your genius truly knows no bounds."
"But wait a minute!" Tobias objected, "That doesn't explain how they left the locked room! Where is this undead creature? And where is James?"
"Oh? But my good Tobias, is that not obvious?" vanClovert slowly paraded around the lanes between the crates and kegs as his serious mood persisted, "...they never left."

This outrageous remark silenced the room. vanClovert strutted towards the pumpkin lantern. "Remind me again, how long did this salvaging operation take?"
"Oh, just over two weeks, yes."
"Two weeks huh? And how did you get hold of such delicious pumpkin lantern in that time? Pumpkins start decaying two hours after they are picked."
"I... Didn't think of that. Just seemed like the season you know?"
vanClovert wiped his index finger on the pumpkin, took a look at the gloved finger and grinds it against his thumb, "Wax. I presume none of the crew are into wax sculpting?"

Tobias remained silent. vanClovert sat on his knee and Looked into a crack between two boards in the crate.
In that moment the blade of a long sword pierced the crate and thrusted right at the spot vanClovert was a moment ago, had he not dodged away just a moment ago while pulling out a pair of bayonets from his coat. With a swipe of this sword the crate was split in two, revealing a tall female knight in black gambeson and the wax pumpkin where her head was supposed to be standing amongst the debris of the once crate. Behind her was a man tied up and gagged with trousers pulled down.

"What the deuce!" Tobias rushed towards the pumpkin warrior in an attempt to tackle her, but he was sent flying into the wall by a swing of her sword so quick one could scarcely say she had moved at all. Tobias hid behind some barrels next.
She swung it left and right at vanClovert with blinding speed, but with an agility not expected by a man of his portly stature he was able to dance away from the strikes with light steps. "What the hell is that thing!?"
"A Dullahan, I presume. An undead knight who carries her head under her arm as she rides through the night. These creatures are considered no light undertaking."
"Bravo, Edna! Very concise summary! I dare say this creature may well be too much an undertaking for a slayer of my skill and experience..."

vanClovert was still dodging the Dullahan's attacks as he threw his bayonets at the female knight, managing to knock off the pumpkin with one of the blades. Indeed there was no head underneath. The doctor pulled out a salt shaker from his coat, and as he jumps to evade the Dullahan's attacks, he tapped the shaker once and a cloud of salt shoots out of the shaker and formed into a white blade that slammed into the knight, tearing her under-armour. While she was stunned he threw a pair of bayonets at specific spots.
She froze up and fell to the floor.
"...that is to say, if fighting undead was not part of my specialty." vanClovert said with a satisfied smirk.

Tobias crawled out from his hiding spot as he, and everyone else in the room, approached the now prone headless knight. "Is she... Is she dead?" Tobias asked, still trembling from the ordeal.
"My dear Tobias... Was she not always dead? The difference is that she cannot use her demonic energy to ambulate herself any longer. Do not touch the bayonets however, unless you wish for the monster to carry you off into the night."
Edna freed the young, dark-haired man and pulled off, "Th-thank you! Thank you so much I was..." The man said between his sobs as he hugged the ref haired assistant.
"Now then first mate James! I do believe we have found curiosity really can kill the cat." Tobias laughed.

That very evening the doctor and his assistant entered the carriage towards Palladandria.
"Another job wrapped up by the great doctor vanClovert, wouldn't you say? Will our report be ready upon our arrival?"
"It already is, doctor vanClovert. Save for one detail my report is completely accounted for, but I need to include all we know about what happened to the Dullahan's head and why she has been unable to acquire it." Edna was fully aware the Dullahan wouldn't have been nearly as ferocious as she was had she had her head on her shoulder... In a manner of speaking.

"Who knows? We could ask her but I fear she lacks the inclination to tell us, as well as the lips. No, if doctor vanClovert cannot account for such a technicality then clearly it is not worth knowing. Let us merely state that information as unavailable to us."
The driver whipped the reins and the carriage headed out of the maritime town towards the open roads.

MILES AWAY

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It was by sheer **** of will the mounted head of Erin was able to stay perfectly still thorough all these centuries, just like a mounted head should. Granted she only needed to stand still when she was in the presence of the descendants of the Knight of Light who had knocked her head off five hundred years ago and mounted it to the wall of his mansion. Unaware she was a Dullahan who mounted her head on her neck he hadn't realized something as pedestrian as beheading would not work on her, a secret she was in no hurry to divulge.
Oh, that wretched goodie two-shoe, keeping his real weapon hidden and striking when she was trying to be dramatic... well joke's on him, he's dead now. And she was still there, looking over his Orderite family. None of his descendants since him had been knights. Just snobby noblemen with too much time on their hands and not enough brain in their heads, living off the fortune of their ancestors' hard work. The latest heir apparent was the exception of course. He just didn't seem to fit in with high society, naturally repelled by all rules, customs, traditions and expectations. Daniel was his name, but he preferred Danny. He actually had a sense of humor, and more importantly a conscience. He wasn't fit, being more than a little overweight in fact, but had a certain quirky charm and a brilliant confidence exuding from him at all times that made it hard to consider him truly repugnant. Some might even say dashing, especially his hair.

Even at eighteen years old he'd just sit on the carpet in front of the fire and, to Erin's dismay, look up towards the mounted head for hours on end. Of course she had to remain entirely immobile for that duration, even if she expected his attention wasn't drawn to her, but the images of heroism and chivalry she represented to him.

While she waited for him to leave, a hornet landed on her face, crawling up and down. Her mind was racing but she kept her composure and didn't even flinch, not even when it crawled close to her eyes.
"Daniel! Are you coming?" The only technically harmonic voice of Danny's mother sounded out, "Are you coming? We'll be late for church." Danny sighed and rose to his feet, "Coming mom."
Finally, the boy made his way out. Erin blew on the wasp, and could finally relax. Honestly she felt bad for the boy but....
"Oh, Daniel! Wherever is your jacket?"
"Coming to get it now mom..."
Uh oh, he's coming back in here, the jacket was right there on the armchair...
"Ahhh..... CHOOOO!"
Daniel looked flabbergasted at Erin's mounted head, who looked back at him....