Keep up with Tom and the clowns

(Originally authored by snoogins, modified by me)

As Tom, Bubbo and Shorty crept silently through the woods, the silence of their creeping was disturbed by the sound of splashing water and the giggling of young humans. Stopping dead in his tracks, Tom shakes his head violently before turning to Bubbo and uttering "What is that horrible sound!?" "Humans." The clown chuckled. "Turn on your translator and have a listen, it's really not so bad once you get over how alien it sounds. Come on, lets go take a closer look."

As the trio crept closer to the human noise, the dark and shimmering lake came into view. In it's moonlit water swam 5 young nudist campers who had chosen a very bad night to sneak out of camp for an unsupervised skinny dip. The nude crew consists of two boys, Tommy and Stu, and three girls Heather, Molly and Sabrina. Now, naturally, skinny dipping was no big deal for a bunch of teenagers attending a nudist camp. The fact that Tommy and Stu had convinced three hot girls to come out for some unsupervised fun on the other hand, now that offered a whole host of interesting opportunities.

At present, the girls were playing hard to get, quite literally. The boys were chasing them around the lake, and the monsters watched with eager anticipation. The clowns had told Tom how exciting it was to watch humans copulate, and he wanted to see if the act itself lived up to the hype. They weren't the only ones watching however. In the bushes beside them crouched another human, an older adult female, every bit as nude as the younger swimmers. Shorty was the first one to notice her, and the aliens quickly activated their cloaking fields. As they do, Tom cranes his neck over the bush to get a good look at the hiding human. The woman was the Director of Camp Sunny Buns, Miss Stack. With short blonde hair, a lithe and athletic form, small but perky breasts, a fantastic ass and an all over tan, she was a sight to behold, and though her beauty was strange to him, Tom could see an elegance in her curves that was pleasing to his alien sensibilities. Crouching down to remain unseen, all of her weight fell upon the balls of her feet, and every now and then she had to shift her weight for comfort. As she did, Tom's head would bob in time with the movements of her flawless ass, clearly entranced.

While Tom was eying Miss Stack, the two clowns were busy watching the campers. The boys had just managed to catch up to the girls, and things looked like they were about to take a turn for the serious. Bursting from the bush, Miss Stack made for the lake. When she arrived, she stood on the shore, hands on her hips and cleared her throat, loudly. Everyone at the camp knew that sound and what it meant, and in this instance, it meant the **** knell for all playful and amorous activity in the lake. As Stack began to lay into the campers for breaking curfew, Tom emerged from the bushes and went to get a closer look at the action.

But while Stack was watching the campers, and Tom was watching Stack, Eric the Leprechaun was watching Tom. Deciding that this was the perfect time for some mischief, Eric cast a small spell which caused Tom's cloaking device to short circuit. In an instant, Tom was revealed for all to see, and the campers instantly screamed and began to swim for their lives in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, Miss Stack still had her back turned to the alien, but she knew that something behind her had spooked the swimmers, and so she turned to investigate. Doubly unfortunate, she was definitely not prepared for the sight of a giant praying mantis, and unprepared for fight or flight in the face of such a thing, she instead chose to scream. Triply unfortunate, Tom was just as shocked at being seen as she was to see him, and, in his shock, he reacted on instinct, seizing her in his raptorial limbs, drawing her in close and feasting upon her head.

As Bubo and Shorty run to their allies aid, Tom spins around looking nervous and scared, with Miss Stack's half crushed head between his mandibles. Even as blood was pouring out of her mutilated skull and running in red rivers down her body, she continued to scream and kick in a vain effort to stave off the weird fate that had befallen her. "What happened!?" Bubo shouted. "We weren't supposed to reveal ourselves yet!" "Mmff mmfo!" Tom mumbled before realizing that he was talking with his mouth full. With a simple application of pressure, he bit a chunk off of Miss Stack's head, silencing her screams and her kicking quite abruptly. After slurping up a bit of the mush that had been the woman's cranium, he let the body drop and addressed his friends. "I don't know! The cloaking device just gave out! What kinda shoddy merchandise are you guys peddling!?"

"The cloaking devices are foolproof! Let me see that!" Bubo said, irate. While examining the device, he muttered. "Why'd you have to go and eat her head for? We didn't even get a chance to have any fun with her!" Looking somewhat sheepish, Tom replied "I panicked! I eat when I'm nervous..." Sighing, Bubo replied "Crap. Looks like this thing shorted out. Oh well. Lets go find those kids before they raise the whole town on us..."

Meanwhile, in the Bombarell household, Adam Bombarell was right in the middle of a refreshing shower, when his privacy was startled by a rapid banging on the bathroom door. Shutting off the water so he could hear, he called out, only to be answered by the frightened voice of his mother. "Adam, open this door right this instant!" Monica shouted. "Mom, I'm taking a shower, give me a minute!" "Now!" His frantic mother replied. Now nearly as nervous as his mother seemed to be, Adam shut off the water and reached for a towel. He barely had enough time to wrap it around his waist before his mom came barging through the door, seizing him by the arm and dragging him outside, still soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel.

"Mom, whats going on! Where are we going?" Adam shouted. "There's no time for that, we have to go!" Monica said in answer, shoving Adam into the passenger seat of her van and taking off without another word. After several moments of frantic driving and utter silence, the van had placed a lot of space between the beautiful doctor and the house, and Adam again raised his questions. Frustrated and not quite thinking clearly, Monica replied "Something bad is going to happen at the house and we need to be far away when it does. That will have to do as an explanation for now, okay?"

Adam was quiet for a moment before he remembered why he'd been showering up in the first place. "Jennifer and Emily were coming over to study with me tonight! They'll be at the house any minute! We have to go back for them!"

"Out of the question!" Monica replied. "If we went back now, we'd all be de..." She cursed herself for letting her fear get the better of her usually much more agile mind. "We'll all be in big trouble. We have to get out of town for now, it's..."

"So your just going to let them die!?" Adam cried. Stabbed thusly in the heart, Monica pulls over by the side of the dirt road and produces her cell phone. "Look, I'll call the sherifs office, alright? They'll send a Deputy over to check on the house, and she'll protect your friends much better than we could. Then we'll have to be on our way though, understand?"

Adam watched his mother dialing the numbers for a few moments before his eyes drifted over to the door. After making a split second decision, the door flew open and Adam jumped out of the van and began making tracks in the dirt with his bare feet. Monica had reacted just fast enough to grab onto his towel in a vain attempt to stop his flight, but ended up holding onto his towel alone, and watching her son's naked butt disappear into the wilderness. By the time she unbuckled herself and ran around the Van, Adam was gone, swallowed up by the darkness of the woods. She'd never catch him now. He knew the woods and he knew the way home. Her only hope was to head him off at his destination. Even if it would be crawling with Zombies by then.

Meanwhile, on the further outskirts of the town, all of the forces of the local air **** base were assembled around a landing area, waiting anxiously for something that might never come. At the forefront of the awesome assemblage was the Secretary of State, Maxine Adeline, a beautiful brunette with short hair and green eyes dressed in a very smart looking business suit. The base had been mobilized due to a mysterious radar blip that NASA had determined could potentially be a UFO coming in for a landing at precisely this spot. Nobody really took the notion too seriously but they couldn't afford to ignore the possibility either, so the base was put on watch anyway, with the Madame Secretary sent to the scene to represent the government in the event of a first contact.

Nobody really expected anything to come of it, so imagine everyone's surprise when an honest to god flying saucer touched down right on the spot NASA had predicted it would. Guns were raised and orders issued to hold as the door to the ship opened and a squad of Martians exited and began making their way towards the crowd. Stepping out to greet the visitors, Maxine began to make bland pleasantries, but they were cut short when the Martian leader whipped out a ray gun and fired upon her, burning her clothes to cinders. As Maxine looked down at her naked body in shock, the Martian seized her and used her as a human shield as his men opened fire on the troops as alien commandoes poured out of the UFO. The battle was quick and gruesome, and in the end, only the martians stood. The Martians and Maxine Adeline.