Kami Mobile Office Number 178

John groaned as he stirred once again from his sleep, feeling dehydrated and slightly nauseous, as if he’d eaten too much candy. Carefully disentangling himself from his girlfriend so as not to wake her, he crept into the bathroom and stuck his head straight under the tap. The cool water helped but only a little. ‘But god damn, that was so worth it, though,’ John couldn’t help but think with a wry smile.

After checking the analogue clock on the bedside table and seeing it was only 10:20, John decided he’d douse himself in a cold shower for a bit. Considering he’d been lying on his back just receiving for most of the morning’s play, he sure did feel sore. John considered, for a moment, inviting his girlfriend to join but ultimately decided to let her rest. He wasn’t sure he himself was up for another round in the shower, not at the moment, anyway.

John let out a relieved sigh as the shower water cascaded over him, but deciding not to entirely waste the time he had, he chose to review his latest notifications rather than simply soak the minutes away.

Achievement Unlocked: Good Morning, Sunshine!
Wake up to a blow job. Lucky you.
+1 Libido.

Achievement Unlocked: Sweet Six-Nine
Everybody and their grandmother knows the meaning of this number.
+1 Libido

Blowing the load.
Cum in someone’s mouth.
+1 Libido

Achievement Unlocked: Size Doesn’t Matter
Fuck a creature more than five times smaller than you. Pick on someone your own size, why don’t you?
+2 Libido

Achievement Unlocked: FMF
Have a threesome. That’s three steps closer to becoming the stud men aspire to be. Go you!
+2 Libido

Achievement Unlocked: Magic Wand
Make a girl cum with your dick, without penetrating her.
+1 Libido
+1 Wisdom

Achievement Unlocked: Blew too early
Cum on a girl without penetrating her.
+1 Libido

Achievement Unlocked: Cumming in Buckets
Cover a partner entirely in cum. Well… using a fae wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but you still completed the condition…
+3 Libido

Achievement Unlocked: Ride that magic wave, bruh~
Inhale a magical narcotic.
+2 Wisdom

“You seem intent on ensuring Libido is my highest stat,” John complained, albeit halfheartedly. Libido was directly tied to the length of his refractory period: the higher his Libido, the less it took to recharge. It was also interesting that Saccha’s fairy dust was considered a narcotic. He’d have to check with her later to see if there were any health risks; he hoped not, since, if he was right, that same dust was being introduced into the apples grown in Granny Smith’s orchard.

Conveniently, it was then that the fairy in question sleepily floated through the open door of the bathroom. “Morning,” the fae yawned, sprawling out in the bathroom sink and turning on the tap after putting in the stopper.

“Morning to you, too,” John replied. “Feeling okay?”

“Like a screw’s been pulled outta my bum,” the fae giggled as she stretched her arms in the air. “Gaia’s cocksleeve, you have no idea how much I needed that.”

“Trust me, it was great for me too. But I gotta ask: is that dust dangerous? Or addicting?”

“It depends on the fae making it,” Saccha replied. “And what the intended effect is. But no, nothing I make is dangerous or addicting; I’m not strong enough yet. Best I can manage is enhancing flavours or creating the illusion of sensation.”

“Why does my body feel so sore if it’s an illusion, then?” John wondered.

“Just because it’s an illusion doesn’t mean your body won’t react to it,” the fae replied smugly. “It would be pointless otherwise.”

John shrugged and turned off the shower water before stepping out to dry himself. “Fair enough,” he replied, eyeing the naked fae as she bathed in the sink. “Red awake yet?”

“Yeah, she went to go down the carton of juice in the fridge,” Saccharine replied, gesturing out the door.

“Thanks,” John said before heading out to greet his girlfriend.

Likely sensing his approach, Red jumped him as he turned the corner into the kitchen. “Morning, darling,” she sighed happily while affectionately nuzzling his neck as he shamelessly groped her toned bum.

“Feeling good?” he asked her.

“Great,” she beamed back. “So, we’re sword shopping today, right?”

“That’s the plan, yeah.”

“Think we’ve got time for breakfast?”

“Sure. Just gotta be at my mom’s place by twelve. Works out since I need to pick up some clothes and other essentials from my room too.”

“Okay then,” Red said cheerily. “Bacon, eggs and toast, extra bacon?”

John laughed at his girlfriend’s penchant for meat. “Sounds great.”

“Hello? Mom, you home?” John called out as he opened the front door to his house.

He took the ensuing silence as affirmation of the negative and gestured for Red to come inside. John quickly swept the house and was relieved to find his mother had indeed gone to work. The last thing he wanted was her questioning why someone had come to her home to sell her son a sword.

“It gets really bloody hot in there!” Saccharine complained as she freed herself from Red’s bag. “Can’t you get this thing enchanted with aircon or something?”

“Unless you’re buying, fat chance,” Red replied in turn, giving the fairy a playful flick.

John shook his head and smiled before fishing a suitcase from the closet and packing a week’s worth of clothes. Among other things, he also collected his laptop and a headset. He did consider taking his entire PC setup by way of his inventory, but he wasn’t sure he’d spend enough time on it to be worthwhile, anyway. Not to mention it’d be much harder to sell the lie that he was ‘just staying at Red’s place for a few days’ to his mother if he took the heart of his room with him.

It wasn’t that long after John had finished packing when the doorbell rang. Sure enough, it had just struck midday. Walking back downstairs, John opened the door to find two young men looking up at him. Twins by the look of them and hardly older than John. They were both clearly Japanese and shared the same mane of shaggy white hair and sharp blue eyes. The only distinguishing feature between the two was a small height difference and their clothing.

“Konnichi wa -- good day to you. Might this be the residence of John Newman-san?” the taller of the two greeted with a bright smile. He wore a charcoal grey suit, complete with a blue tie that complemented his eyes.

John offered his hand to the man. “Hey there, yeah, I’m John,” he said.

Upon saying this, the taller twin shook John’s hand while the other bowed. “Greetings, Newman-san. It is a great honour to meet a friend of Lady Oinari; we at Kami thank you for your patronage. My name is Akihiko, and this is my younger brother, Makoto-chan,” he introduced, gesturing to the younger twin.

As opposed to his brother’s suit, the smaller twin sported a traditional-looking Japanese robe that matched his bleached hair colour. Where his brother’s smile was bright and cheerful, Makoto’s rested in an apathetic expression of neutrality. “Konnichi wa,” he said softly when their eyes met.

Akihiko laughed nervously. “Gomennasai. My brother and I are new to America, and he is not very confident with English.”

“That’s alright,” John laughed easily. “I’ll let you know when we Americans figure out English for ourselves. Anyway, come inside so we can get down to business.”

“Please pardon our intrusion,” Akihiko said, bowing before following John inside, his brother at his heel.

“Sorry, I don’t exactly have a study or anything; do you mind if we use the dining room table?” John asked as he led them down the main hallway.

“That won’t be necessary, Newman-san,” Akihiko replied. “When making housecalls, it is company policy to carry with us a portable office. It contains everything we will need.”

‘It would explain why they appear so empty handed,’ John thought, before saying out loud; “I see, that makes sense. Oh, and there’s no need for honorifics, John suits me just fine.

“If that is your wish, John,” Akihiko said, dipping his head.

‘Jeez, this guy bows a lot,’ John mused, as they stepped into the dining room, where Red and Saccha sat waiting for them.

“Hello, my name is Charlene; I’m John’s girlfriend, and this is our friend, Saccharine,” Red welcomed, standing up and taking a small bow herself.

Once introductions were over with, Akihiko produced a small disk-shaped object from his pocket and, after placing it on the table, activated it by pressing the button.

Entered I.D.: カミのモバイルオフィス番号178.

Not a particularly insightful message since he couldn’t read Japanese. ‘It’d be nice if this thing came with a translator,’ John silently told Gaia while casting his eyes upwards.

They had appeared in a warmly lit room clearly taking after the traditional Japanese architecture you often saw in Samurai flicks or some slice of life anime where the cast went on a school trip to a traditional hotel. Thin paper walls surrounded John on all sides of the square room, save one, which opened onto a small balcony overlooking a pretty water garden, walled off from whatever was outside -- probably nothing.

The inside of the spacious room, however, was mostly empty floor space. There was a short-legged table surrounded by seating mats. A thermos sat at its centre, containing what John assumed was tea, given the adjacent cups. But what really caught John’s eyes were the weapon racks and suits of armour lining the wall opposite the balcony. Weapons of all shapes and sizes could be seen, including guns. However, and somewhat unsurprisingly, the majority of the weapons on display were of a Japanese design.

“We hope this space is to your liking,” Akihiko said politely.

“Oh, it’s great,” John replied quickly. Even if he hadn’t liked it, he very much doubted he would have made a fuss.

“Then, might you join me for tea and we can discuss what it is you’re looking for.”

“Sure,” John agreed and, joined by Red and Saccha, sat down at the opposite of Akihiko. His twin, Makoto, remained standing and served them all tea but did not sit once he had finished.

Picking up the tea cup, John took a sip. It was the first time John had tried a traditional Japanese green tea. Not bad per se, but it was definitely an acquired taste -- like coffee.

After giving them a minute, Akihiko gently placed his tea cup onto the table. “Now,” he began.