Joe and Anne's guest lists

"Time to get on with it, Joe," Anne says. "Time to make an honest man of you." She looks round from the kitchen table, her dark red ponytail swishing over her shoulders.

Anne's belly isn't showing yet in street clothes, but in an exercise leotard, you can see it. Your baby together. And Anne's lawyer had picked you up, waved a paternity suit and a pre-nuptial agreement under your nose, and your legal aid lawyer had x-ed out a few clauses, looked at the rest, and basically told you to sign it.

And so you had.

Most couples know something about each other's friends, about their families, before planning a wedding. A late-thirties British expat fitness instructor, a disappointed actress and scorned wife whose husband was DIPPING IT IN HIS CRAZY BITCH THERAPY CLIENTS in Anne's words, soon to be rich from her divorce, who picked you up as a biddable young man to give her a mercy fuck. You, a lifeguard and pool cleaner, just about old enough to drink, with a copy of the Pickup Artists' Guide in your locker, a recent ex-girlfriend who dumped you at the beginning of the summer, whose other friend-girls have told you to cool it about your attitude, especially around your big dick.

And then your boss, Anne Campion, swoops in, falls pregnant, grabs you by your balls and your collar, yanks you into her cute little divorcée condo, and who the fuck even are you now?

Anne taps her foot. "Mister Campion, please attend, it's time to plan our wedding."

Yeah. Not "Joe Kelly" for much longer. You're gonna be Mr. Joseph Campion, and what the hell, Anne's Ken doll and hot boy for sharing with her friends. But you like it.

"Sorry, just thinking about how lucky I am," you say.

"God, you're adorable," Anne says. "Time to focus, Joe. I think we can do twenty for the wedding?"

"Mm-hm?"

"We'll skip the bridesmaids and groomsmen, all that tosh, so no need to match them all up," Anne says. "I'm flying my elder sister in. Mum and Dad don't travel much. Who do you want?"

Karen Yoshida. Your friends Cindy and Mona. If you invite Cindy you should invite Sharon, the gal who dumped you at the perfect time to fall under a cougar attack. Cougar? Well, if you were betting, you'd bet on Anne over a wildcat any day. Anyway. Myrna from your pool job, the boss's sister, would love to be at your wedding. You'd broken the news to Mom and Dad a couple weeks ago, and they can drive over. "We can loop by on the way to Vegas, Joe," your Mom said. "Easy peasy drive, too bad we're not close enough to be child care." Mom and Dad are child care for your big sister, so they're already committed. That makes seven. Oh, right, your legal-aid lawyer, Ms. Sandoval. Eight. Maybe your big sister? Nine.

"Well done, Joe," Anne says. "Now let's see."

Anne's list includes her big sister, the two women from her first mercy fuck party, being her masseuse Sarabeth and her divorce lawyer Ulva Lupino. Sarabeth's husband, loyal, loving and sexual, but not enough to keep up with his wife, whose sex drive was supercharged by pregnancy. Which is how Anne nominated you to be the relief dick for Sarabeth's husband. Two other women, fitness instructors you both know from Anne's athletic club. An old friend who was her roommate in her first apartment.

"And for spite's sake, and just as much for gratitude, my ex and his crazy bitch who sprung me free by falling pregnant herself." She kisses your cheek. "Giving me you, darling."

"Boss," you say.

Anne cackles. "I'll own it," she says.

"Did he keep his certificate to practice?" you ask.

"He did," Anne says. "So he'll have some way of paying for his crimes. I hope all he gets is men clients now. Soo-oo, who do we invite to the wedding night?"

Your eyes snap open.

"You didn't think you were going to get away without another party, did you Joe?" Anne says. "My boy wonder."

"Is this party going to involve your lawyer pissing on your ex-husband?" you ask. "Was that story for real, what Ulva told us?"

Anne laughs. "After she fucks him, like last time? It's the same story she told me. Ha. I wouldn't mind being a witness. Well, I'll let them know that the opportunity exists, and maybe he'll enjoy a little semi-public humiliation. But it might not be to everyone's taste, you know. We all have the chance to learn from our experiences. And our surprises." Anne gazes into your eyes. "You are a prize, Joe, and not just for your big hard prick. Haha, but not least for it, either."

"How did I get so lucky?"

"Ha, I saw you pop wood for the fat old cows in Water Exercise, and I knew you'd do for me," Anne says. "I didn't know how much you'd do for me." She smiles and takes a deep, deep breath. "Give us a kiss."

After a pause to indulge the pure joy of a little make-out, and reflect that you're both bad kissers and laugh about that, you get back to business.

Here's where you end up for a first plan.

Ceremony, food, and a little dancing outdoors at El Gringo Loco, where Mona works, which has good outside space. Mona's boss and friend Rowan will do the music as well.

After a good, long break, an unofficial sex after-party at Anne's fitness club. One of Anne's fitness instructor friends has some music mixes that she can bring for the sex after-party. A little aerobics to warm things up before drifty, dreamy music for the party itself. Or perhaps renting an actual beach condo for a full day or two, with plenty of room to party and to crash. You'll figure that out. Maybe those are two separate lists of folks.

Joe and Anne's lists of wedding guests:

Joe: kickboxing office lady and pool client Karen Yoshida, Joe's legal-aid lawyer Mrs. Sandoval, Mona from El Gringo Loco, Myrna from the pool company, Joe's ex Sharon, Sharon's friend Cindy, Joe's Mom, Dad, and big sister. Maybe there will be some "plus one" dates.

Anne: her divorce and pre-nup lawyer Ulva Lupino, masseuse ("with happy endings") Sarabeth, Sarabeth's husband, two fitness instructors, an old roommate from when Anne was first in town, Anne's big sister, Anne's ex-husband and new baby mama, if they choose to come. Maybe a couple of "plus ones".

Who'll be at the afterparty? Or at the beach condo, if you decide on that? Well, that needs a little thinking.

You have 1 XP, Hard +2 (with Fucking Huge), Hot +2 (with Charming), Cool 0, Control -1, and the Character Moves Always Hard and Group Sex.

How does the wedding go? (The Girls Make a Move, or several moves).