Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Things had settled down pretty fast after Sylvia left. Rose’s state of dress was an interesting observation, but nothing too pressing for them. They saw shit like this every day.

And besides, Dawn had more pressing issues at hand.

“Nick…” She glanced at Nick, and he nodded.

“Yeah, good luck.”

“Well anyway, this was fun, but I’ve gotta go,” Gina said, turning and heading back towards the exit. Dawn wasn’t ready to let her go yet, though, and she had a great way of getting her to stop.

SMACK!

“Ooh!” Gina wasn’t expecting another spanking from the short cat girl. She turned back and grinned. “Well Dawn, what’s the big occasion?”

“I need to talk to you,” Dawn said, scowling. “It’s serious.”

Gina hated serious. She could feel her instincts telling her to flee for the hills. But she stayed anyway, because she knew it was important to be responsible when the situation called for it. She sighed, and nodded.

“Okay, fine…”

Dawn sighed in relief. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Gina felt a tiny twinge of pleasure at that, and grinned. Not too shabby.

She wasn’t the only one Dawn wanted to talk to, though. Having gotten Gina’s okay, Dawn turned to Dakota.

“You too… and also, Carly, and Mary, if I could talk to you guys too, that would be good.”

Carly and Mary looked at each other, and Dakota raised her eyebrow.

Nick stepped aside while the girls gathered together, with Marley joining her sister of course. That just left two women on the sidelines.

He glanced at Rose, who averted her eyes, face glowing red. She robotically walked over to the buffet tables to amass her breakfast, which only left…

“Master!” Morgana hopped over to Nick, wrapping herself around his arm. Her boobs practically swallowed the limb whole.

“Hey there,” Nick said, flashing a grin. He was starting to get used to the goth girl’s clinginess. “How have you been getting along with everybody?”

“Just great!” Morgana gushed, leading him over to the table so they could eat. “Last night, Carly, Marley and I stayed up late to watch anime, and then we…”

Dawn watched the two of them go, and felt a pinprick in her chest. That was something else she’d become acutely aware of- when it came to Nick, her own feelings…

It’s not like I could have expected anything different, she thought, sighing. It’s how the game works, after all. And Morgana likes him just as much as anyone else… or even more.

Jealousy served no rational purpose. But it was a relief to learn that she still could feel such powerful emotions.

Besides, she had more important things to think about right now. She sat down at the table with the others.

“So, what were you thinking, arranging this summit?” Gina asked, amused.

“I’m also rather curious,” Dakota nodded, resting her chin on her hands. “Are we going to be doing some scheming?”

“No, nothing like that,” Dawn said, shaking her head. “This is something serious.”

“What kind of serious?” Mary asked worriedly.

“I… had sex with Nick last night,” Dawn quietly reported, unable to meet the girls’ appraising gazes. The response wasn’t what she expect.

“So?” Dakota asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Yeah, kinda expected that,” Carly snorted.

“I mean, it’s just how things work around here, right?” Gina chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. “Who cares?”

“Having sex out of wedlock?! Do you understand what you’re doing?!” Mary gasped. She wasn’t usually this anal about premarital sex, but her burgeoning sexual frustration was causing her to be a little high-strung, and she clung onto her faith to distract from that.

Before she could launch into a tirade, Gina clamped her hand over her mouth.

“Go on,” she urged Dawn to continue.

“It-it’s just… he… finished inside me.”

A hush fell over the table.

“…So?” Dakota didn’t see that as any bigger deal than the last revelation.

“So? This is serious!” Dawn exclaimed. “It… it wasn’t one of my…” She lowered her voice into a whisper. “…Safe days. It wasn’t a risky day, either, but… there’s a chance…”

“Y-you mean…” Mary’s face turned red as she understood the insinuation of what Dawn was saying. It wasn’t common for her to make sense of the sexual stuff, but something like this spoke to her on a primal level.

“I might… be pregnant.”

Carly flinched, and her eyes widened. Marley placed her hand over her sister’s and squeezed it in comfort.

“Are you sure?” Gina asked. “I mean, you taken one of those knock-up tests yet?”

Mary stared at her, aghast. Dawn narrowed her eyes into a glare.

“…No, I haven’t taken a ‘knock-up test’,” she snapped. “And besides, it’s way too early to tell anyway. So no, I don’t know ‘for sure’ or anything like that, but… what if I am?”

“Then you’ll experience the blessing of life,” Mary said, forcing a smile to her lips. Pain blossomed through her chest though. She didn’t like the idea of Nick having children with other women. To imagine him cumming inside Dawn…

She didn’t like it. It made her feel sick. But what was done was done. And if Dawn was pregnant, nothing could undo it. She wanted to be happy for the other woman, but her own foul heart was preventing that.

Why does she get to carry his children? She got to receive his seed… and I… I-! She bit her lip so hard she was afraid it would draw blood. But the pain kept her from losing her cool. What was she going to do, yell at Dawn for doing what everyone was supposed to be doing on this show?

Dawn herself didn’t seem all that enthused about this “blessing of life” however.

“…Yeah, my work schedule keeps me from seeing the sun with my own eyes,” Dawn said, scowling. “I’m not ready to be a mom right now.”

She turned to Carly with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry, but-”

“Don’t apologize.” Carly held up her hand. “Believe me, I’ve heard it enough.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Gina groaned. “Why do I have to be here for this, again?”

Dawn scowled. “The reason I wanted to talk to you guys is because you’ve all had sex with Nick.” She turned to Mary, whose face was despondent. “…Or will, hopefully very soon. And… I don’t know if you’ve all been using protection or not.”

“Condoms? Yeah, screw that.” Gina waved her hand dismissively. “Those things don’t make sex feel as good, so I never bother.”

Frankly, it was a miracle Gina hadn’t gotten pregnant already, or at least received an STD.

“Yeah, I… I should have thought about it, but… I was so excited to have sex with him, I just…” Carly sighed. “Well, we were in a shower, so…”

“So what? Because it’s in a shower, you won’t get pregnant?” Dawn stared at her incredulously. Carly glanced down shamefully.

“Yeah… that was my bad.”

“Look, I’m not trying to chastise anybody,” Dawn said, placing her hand over her belly. “Believe me, I’m in no position to ‘talk down’ to you. I knew the risks too, and yet I just… well…”

It felt humiliating to say, but she needed to be honest. “I wanted him to pull out, but… I kind of stopped him from doing it with my legs, and, well…”

Mary didn’t want to hear the lurid details… except she really did. She clenched her legs together, feeling herself get wet as she imagined Dawn having sex so loving and intense that she wouldn’t let him escape, holding him close to her until he finished inside of her, starting her on the path to motherhood…

No! Bad Mary! She chastised herself. She just kept imagining things that made her heart ache. I’m so jealous… how horrid. I shouldn’t be jealous over something like this. It’s not HER fault. Jealousy… envy… these are sins. To covet someone having a child… that’s just… no.

She clenched her fists beneath the table. In spite of Dawn’s regrets, in spite of her warnings… she wanted to be the one in her place, risking having Nick’s children. And with those pills back in her room… it wouldn’t be a risk at all.

“Look, I just think we need to all be more responsible, that’s all,” Dawn said. “Think about it from Nick’s perspective. Do you think he’s ready to have children? Are any of us? Because I know I’m not. And I don’t like the idea of burdening him with a responsibility that he’s not ready for. That’s why, I think that if we’re all going to keep having sex with Nick, we need to take precautions to make sure we won’t get pregnant.”

“I completely agree,” Carly nodded.

“Eh… so like… condoms, and pulling out and stuff?” Gina sighed. She wasn’t exactly thrilled. “But it feels so much better to finish together, like-”

“Gina, this is serious!” Dawn exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “Are you seriously telling me you’re fine with risking becoming a mother just because it would ‘feel’ better?!”

“She’s right, Gina,” Carly nodded, shooting the punk girl a dirty look. “Something like this needs to be taken seriously. I know better than anyone what it’s like to lose yourself in the moment. And I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

Gina scowled. But she didn’t push the issue.

Dawn turned to Dakota next, but the dark-haired girl had cold look in her eye.

“…So?” She said again.

Everyone stared at her incredulously. Even Gina didn’t know what to say to that.

“What do you mean ‘so’?” Dawn demanded.

“I mean, I have no intention of denying Nick his pleasure,” Dakota stated calmly. “If he wants to cum inside me, then I’ll let him. If that gets me pregnant? All the better. I want to make Nick happy. And if that includes bearing his children, then I’ll have as many as he wants.”

The direct assertion of her intention to become pregnant shocked everyone at the table. They all stared at her, not sure what to say.

As for Mary…

Dakota was talking to Dawn. But it felt to Mary like the other woman’s words were meant for her. That’s right… I also…!

“I… I think I agree with Dakota,” Mary said shakily, holding her hand over her belly. She felt the heat radiate out of her womb, throbbing with urges to get pregnant. Her body was so **** to be a breeding factory that it felt wrong to fight.

“Seriously?!” Dawn couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She knew that Mary had a pregnancy fetish, but to go this far-! “This is a child we’re talking about, Mary! You haven’t even had sex yet, and you’re seriously telling me that you’re ready for children?!”

“It’s the right thing to do!” Mary snapped. “First, you date a boy, then, when you know he’s the one, you get married! And then you have children! It’s what God intended! Are you telling me to go against the lord’s wishes?!”

“That… that’s not what I meant…” Dawn stammered, not sure what to say. She wasn’t used to Mary being this adamant about things, since the two hardly ever spoke.

“Mary, Dawn’s not wrong here,” Carly said. “You need to think about having kids, it’s a serious matter. Are you sure you can really decide it so simply?”

“I’m not deciding anything simply!” Mary exclaimed, jumping to her feet. Her boobs practically leapt out of her top. “This is important! It’s the most important thing in my life, I know that! But… I also… I want to be a mom.”

The thought of bearing Nick’s children, of raising them together with him, it was her image of perfect happiness. She couldn’t resist it.

“Mary…” Dawn didn’t know what to say. All she wanted to do here was convince the other girls to be more responsible, but it was clear that this would be more complicated than she’d expected. This was a problem.

It’s just… I can’t deal with this right now!” Mary stood up, her face red, and dashed out of the banquet hall.

“Mary…” Nick turned towards her, but Morgana held him tight. It didn’t look like Mary wanted his help anyway, and before he could get another word out, she was gone.

Carly sighed. “I knew this was gonna be a mess,” she groaned, rubbing her temples. “That girl… I don’t think she gets it.”

“It’s a difficult situation,” Dawn muttered, shaking her head. “I know she wants to marry Nick, and her transformation is making her want to have his babies, but… she just doesn’t understand! This is serious, she needs to be responsible.”

“Maybe she’s trying to be responsible in her own way,” Rose said quietly, but no one heard her.

Mary fled to the elevator, and her heart didn’t stop racing until the doors closed behind her.

“It isn’t fair…” She muttered, wiping her eyes. All those girls… they all had what she wanted. And she couldn’t.

Someone else might have forsaken their beliefs in a situation like this. But not Mary. For Mary, her religion mattered more to her than almost anything. It was the lifeboat she clung to in the storm of her emotions, and she knew if she let go, she might never get it back.

She needed advice. She needed to talk to someone. But there was only one person she could think to go to right now.

Mary walked out of her room and stared longingly at the elevator leading up to the Master’s Suite. Her day wouldn’t come until the end of the round, and that seemed a lifetime away.

Holly. Holly was the person she would go to in a situation like this. But she was locked away, and there was no way for Mary to contact her.

So she chose the next best thing.

Mary knocked on the door, and heard Kim grunt from inside, “come in”.

“Hi, Kim… I heard… oh, wow!” Mary’s eyes widened when she saw Kim’s new style. The dark-haired girl was lying back in bed, too sore to even look up, but Mary could still get a good look at her. “You cut your hair!”

“Yup,” Kim nodded, trying to prop herself up on her arms. It didn’t go well. “Probably the least painful thing I did yesterday…”

“I heard…” Mary nodded sympathetically, her own plight momentarily forgotten. She was far more concerned with the condition of her friend. “It, um… it looks nice on you, though! I remember when my hair was that short…”

She mindlessly tugged on her pigtail, realizing that she may be stuck with this style of hair forever.

“So what’s up?” Kim asked. “You didn’t just come to check on me, did you? Because I feel fine, so you can-”

“No, it’s not… well…” Mary felt guilty. She realized that she SHOULD have come to check up on her friend, but she had been so caught up in her own feelings that she didn’t even think about it. “…Sorry. I wanted to come check up on you, but… I need some advice about something.”

She winced. “You know… if you’re in any condition for that, I mean.”

“It’s fine,” Kim said, turning over so she could face Mary directly. That made every muscle in her body ache in unison. “What’s going on?”

It all came spilling out at once. She told her roommate about how hard it was living with Gina, what they had done together in the shower, and how dirty it made her feel. She cried about how awful it was that she even felt bad in the first place, how Gina didn’t deserve that, and worst of all, how she felt guilty about her jealousy towards Dawn for getting to be blessed with Nick’s semen, and the possibility that she was pregnant with his child.

Kim stared at her. That was a lot to take in.

“…And I thought my week had been weird…” She sighed, shaking her head. Her neck was one of the few parts of her body that didn’t ache. “So basically, you feel jealous, and you feel guilty because you feel jealous?”

Mary nodded. “It’s wrong, but… it’s not fair! Nothing about this is fair!” She wailed. “Dawn doesn’t even WANT his children! She was telling us about how we need to be responsible, and here I am, not even able to feel his love for myself!”

“Mary… Dawn isn’t wrong,” Kim said quietly.

That was the worst part.

“I know,” Mary grumbled. “She’s NOT wrong! I know I need to wait until I’m ready to have kids… but I’m ready now! I want a family now! I want to be married now!”

Her voice shrank into a whisper. “Is… is that so wrong?”

“I don’t think it’s wrong,” Kim said, beckoning Mary over with her fingers. “Honestly? I can’t say I don’t feel the same way sometimes.”

Mary’s eyes practically bulged out of her skull. “You mean-?!”

“No, not… not about the kids part,” Kim quickly shut her down, shaking her head frantically. “No, I mean… I feel like I’m stuck sometimes. Like I have to do certain things, and because of that, I can’t do the things I want to do. You know? It’s all about being responsible, being an adult. Dawn isn’t wrong about that… but maybe she’s wrong about you.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asked.

Kim shrugged. Then she winced. Her shoulders ached. “What I mean is… look, Mary, if you’re ready to get married and have kids? That’s YOUR decision. Dawn doesn’t get to decide for you what ‘too early’ is or whether or not you’re making the responsible decision. If you’ve thought it through carefully and you’re certain that it’s the right thing? Then I say go for it. It’s your life, you should live it the way you want to. Do you get me?”

Mary nodded. She understood what Kim was trying to say.

“I am ready,” she insisted. Her face fell. “I just… I wish there was some way I could show him.”

Just because Mary was ready for marriage, that didn’t mean Nick would be ready for that. Would he even want to get married this young?

Personally, Kim thought Mary was moving way too fast. She was getting red flags that reminded her of her mother, so blinded by her feelings for a guy that she wasn’t even thinking clearly, she just wanted to be with him.

But Nick wasn’t like that piece of shit who’d fooled her mom, he was a great guy. Maybe it could work?

“You realize that even if you marry him… it won’t be the kind of marriage you’re thinking of, right?” Kim prodded. “He’s still going to be seeing other people. He’s still going to have sex with Gina and Carly and the rest of them, you know that, right?”

Mary blanched. “Y-you don’t know that,” she stammered. “Maybe… maybe I’ll be enough…”

Even she knew how hollow her words sounded. No matter how much Nick loved her, he would never be exclusive to her. He’d made that clear already, when he’d slept with Gina. The day her heart broke.

“Then, if you’re willing to marry him in spite of that… I can’t really say anything,” Kim shrugged. “It’s not like you could get a priest out here anyway. It would be a marriage in name only.”

Mary had an idea about that already. It centered around her purchasing list.

“I have something in mind,” she murmured. “But thank you, Kim. You’ve been a big help.”

Kim smiled back at her, then she thought of something.

“Hey… if you’re not ready to make a decision yet… well, the other girls, they’ve been having their dates with him, right?”

Mary nodded.

“So… what about you? I’ll give you my day with him, since I’m going tomorrow. The two of you, you can go somewhere nice together, and if it goes well…”

She shrugged. Mary could see exactly what she was saying.

If it went well, then maybe that was a sign that it was meant to be.