James (m) [18] - Supreme Master - day: 0 - bodily fluids - POV:1 - ? - He discovers his cum is not normal when loosing his V-card…, by Artviewer314

"Marcie, what the actual fuck is this weird ass gibberish? And why do I have a sense of deja vu?"

"Do you remember the zombie story we covered a while back, Gina?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Don't tell me cow guy has submitted his shit AGAIN!”

“Actually no, Gina. James (m) [18] - Supreme Master - day: 0 - bodily fluids - POV:1 - ? - He discovers his cum is not normal when loosing his V-card…, by Artviewer314 is is the same story but by a different author.”

“Oh yeah? But cow guy is still to blame for drawing attention to us! I swear half of the shit we have to deal with recently is his fault!”

“Please Gina, who knows? This might actually be good?”

“Marcie, I know this absolute abomination of a title made it hard, but please focus on this bitch’s username for a bit. Calling yourself something pretentious as Artviewer is already pretty ass but then he has the audacity to put numbers behind! What? Were the other 313 artfuckers busy? Go back to the Louvre, you French fuck!”

“Can we please just start, Gina?”“Fine!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

I was deep inside my first girlfriend, Harper, when it happened. It was my first time having sex. It felt real good. But I was not prepared for what came next. Pun intended.

“Speaking of firsts. First paragraph and I already hate this fucker.”

“Given your track record, that is an above average performance, Gina.”

“Piss off.”

“But I am rather displeased about this opener myself. Saying “pun intended” does nothing but ruin the pun.”

“This story starts like any good porn story with a sex scene. Don’t get fooled though. This is the most bitch ass virgin MC ever created.”

“Surely we had worse, Gina.”

“Barely.”

“Anyways, our protagonist has sex. However he quickly notices that all is not well with his girlfriend.”

There was nothing but white in her eyes. White as my cum, I briefly though.

“Thinking about your own cum while looking at a girl is super gay.”

“Well, if you are named James your last name is either Bond or you are gay.”

I followed her into the kitchen. Phew. It didn't seem like she was going to leave the apartment. That was good news. At least I didn't have to walk around town half naked following my naked girlfriend. My reputation would drop through the floor and a bit lower after that. I doubt the streets would be empty a Friday night. It was evening and around 9 o'clock. Glad I didn't have to follow her trough town all night. Anyway, safe. She didn't leave the apartment. Yet, anyway. I had no idea what she was doing or going to do.

“Jesus FUCKING Christ. Get on with it!”

“More upsetting is the fact the he managed to spell through correctly the first time only to botch it the second. By the way, from this alone I can deduce that the author is an ESL. Now, I doubt he is German or calling him ESL would be rather rude.”

“Marcie, focus on the important part!”

“Which is, Gina?”

“This fucker had his girlfriend turn into a zombie. You would think one would do a number of things in this situation. Run away. Call the police. Fuck her. This bitch? Wanna know what this bitch does?”

“I read the story, Gina.”

“He just ties her up and falls asleep!”

I proceeded to bind her arms and legs to the chair, using four of my ties in the process.

“He ties her up with some...pffft...ties.”

“Marcie…”

“Sadly, the author does not use this amazing tie-in for a pun. A shame, that really would have tied the whole scene together. You know, when I compare this branch to wrynn I have to say right now it's a..."

"SMACK!"

"I was sure I confiscated that branch."

"I got a new one."

I woke. I don't know how much later. The curtains where closed and there was no clock. I looked to the chair. I was shocked. The chair was empty! My girlfriend, Harper, was not there! On the floor where four ripped up ties. She had escaped in my sleep! How long had I been out for? I needed to find her. And that quick!

“So, there is a difference between where and were. The trick in remembering when to us which is to...”

“ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF RAMBLING!”

“Gina please.”

“I can’t help it, Marcie! This mouthbreather keeps being the most useless waste of space ever conceived while his girlfriend is hard at work enslaving other girls!”

“I do wonder how many seconds James would survive in a Zombie apocalypse.”

Finally James makes the connection that his cum may be related to turning girls into zombies. He tries to prevent Harper from taking it. Yeah, guess how that will go.”

He can't stop them from taking his cum

“This is somewhat of a pet peeve of mine. The quote above is the title of the chapter and we then spend half of the chapter detailing exactly what the chapter title already specified was going to happen.”

“And it’s not even sexy. Like with a title like this you expect something sexy to happen, right? WRONG! It’s just James chasing over the bottle of cum like a dipshit. Ohhh….and wanna know what happens then. DO YOU?”

“Ehem.”

Suddenly, Hanna stabs the syringe in her right breast and injects half of my cum into it. Afterwards she stabs her left breast and injects the rest of my cum. Why did she inject my cum into her boobs? I wonder in confusion. These Zombies just seem to bring me surprise after surprise. Will my cum change her breasts somehow? I wonder. Will her breasts start to lactate, or will they grow, or what will happen? I wonder. The effect would probably not be immediate, but I can't help but wonder what will happen.

“If this is going were I fucking think it’s going I will strangulate someone with a tie.”

“*where”

There's not really much else I can do, I think to myself as I start to cook.

“Cooking? COOKING!!! COCKHURGHSCJLCNJYKSJNYLKNXANKAA!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Gina, deep breaths.”

“Haaah...it has been a while since a protagonist infuriated me to such a degree, Marcie. This is all cow guys fault!”

“After a few more escapades, matters escalate. His now very respectable number of thralls tie James to a chair and parade him through the neighborhood. I guess you could say...he is quite tied up!"

"That's literally what is happening, Marcie. That's not even a pun."

"Fine. They encounter a policewoman.."

"...who gets immediately enslaved, because of course she is. That’s also the only cop we see. Nobody stops the zombie army from taking over a fancy mansion.”

"We then spend a bit of time contemplating on how to move forward from here. And the only proper course forward is of course world domination."

Because the alternative - the absolute absurd and utterly nonsensical alternative - was that my former girlfriend had planned to travel 2000 years back in time to enslave one of the supposedly hottest women in history. To do the impossible task of time travel just to bring me back the sexiest woman to ever live on a silver platter as my devoted sex ****.

“Time Travel? You are introducing FUCKING TIME TRAVEL!”

“I say. You can either write a zombie story or a time travel story. But mixing the two together? Now that is just nonsensical.”

“But guess what, Marcie. It doesn’t even matter because the author forgets about getting to ancient Egypt to zombify Cleopatra the moment he wrote it. Don’t worry. We have other insane shit coming up. Like that the zombies somehow managed to zombify the fucking US PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER!”

“I’m beginning to think this is just a rehash of the plot of Resident Evil 4, Gina.”

“I don’t care.”

“Oh, and shortly after the zombies also manage to capture the President himself and made him swear allegiance to James.”

“I don’t care.”

“So I guess you could say this is….President Evil.”

“I don’t care.”

“Hm and then the president is **** to eat out his daughter.”

“I don't...FUCK YOU! WE ARE SKIPPING THAT!”

“Oh yes, artviewer actually offers the option to skip the **** scene. Quite considerate actually and a good choice for whenever you include a scene that deviates too much from your original kink.”

"Too bad not many authors allow us to skip their shit."

"And with that we have already arrived at the most recent chapter."

“Yeah, probably because artfucker has no idea how to continue this.”

“Probably. It is an interesting spin on the mind control genre. James is just as much a prisoner as the girls he inadvertently enslaved. And unlike wrynn’s branch this one actually stays on theme. No convenient on and off switch on these zombies.”

“Fantastic.”

“I do think things work out a tad too well for our world domination sex zombies. We do not know how they managed to get to the president in a matter of days and I severely doubt the story will facilitate a satisfactory explanation.”

“Also no cum-milk so far. Which means I won’t have to kill someone...yet.”

“Ultimately, this is a classic example of an author getting in way over his head. World domination is a tempting premise but writing it in a manner that is both believable and sexy is difficult to achieve. I suggest starting out smaller. For example taking over a school.”

“Or don’t.”

“And I think we can end it here. Artviewer314 gets points for tackling an ambitious project and going for a path less traveled when it comes to mind control. But unfortunately this author lacks…”

“Marcie, I remind you that I have a very large stick."

“...the brains to tie it all together.”