Jake's New Job?

"Oh, hello. Professor Michaels?"

And that was the moment. The first time Jake had been face to face with Jenny Hodges in two decades. It wasn't exactly how he would have planned it, if he'd even have wanted it to happen at all. But wow..

She really was his type, pretty much to the letter. And she was smiling at him, something that had probably never happened before in their long and complicated history. Thankfully she didn't seem to recognise his true identity, which was a massive relief.

"I must say that was quite an entrance."

"Yea, I'm very sorry about that. In hindsight it was childish, inappropriate and above all extremely unfunny."

"Perhaps, but at least it was memorable. Your Wikipedia page says you're widely regarded as an eccentric genius in the academic community, so I suppose I was anticipating something a little different by way of an introduction. Not necessarily that, but still.."

"Sorry, my Wikipedia page?"

She turned her laptop around to show his entry on the famous website. At the top was a striking photo of Jake wearing a suit and glasses and accepting some sort of award from a grinning Kate Middleton. Jenny then scrolled down so he could see a lengthy and detailed account of the many accomplishments of Professor Michael Michaels in the field of female anatomy.

Bash took a bow.

"Er, I think you probably ought to lower your expectations of my genius a little." Jake cautioned.

"There's no need for false modesty, Professor. Your credentials speak for themselves. First class honours from Oxford, Harvard and the University of Tokyo. speaker of twenty seven languages, instrumental in the discovery of..."

As Jennifer continued to reel off Professor Michael's numerous fake achievements, Bash's mind was on other matters.

"I'll tell you what man, I'll give Jenny one thing. I never expected her to grow up to be this sexy. And she's not so little any more, huh?" he used a crude gesture with his hands to imitate her breast size while making an approving facial gesture "Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the Jerkoff part of her name, right? Anyway, don't mind me. I'm going to busy myself on the net while you two catch up."

"So, I suppose that rather brings me to the obvious question I have for you." Jenny continued "Why did you wish to meet with me? Considering you're an authority on the female form and I teach European History?"

"Uh...."

It wasn't an easy question to come up with an instant answer for anyway, but Jake had just clocked the full on lesbian porn that Bash had bought up on Jennifer's laptop monitor, which was still facing him. He really needed to keep her distracted from that.

"Because I wanted to learn from you."

"Learn what exactly?"

"To teach. I mean, I'd like to pass on my knowledge but I've never actually taught before. And I'd be interested to learn about history too. You know, maybe branch out a little."

"And what made you choose me, if you don't mind me asking? There are dozens of far more renowned teachers in this University alone, and plenty more outside it."

Fuck, another difficult question to answer. Because his imaginary friend loved playing pranks on her? Because she's sexy as fuck? Because he had managed to develop an inconvenient crush on her in about five minutes? None of those felt like acceptable explanations.

"Because they wouldn't have the time or inclination. I wanted to target a talented up and comer, not someone fully established."

Was that a good answer? Or a patronising one? It was a little hard to tell initially. Jenny was far more inscrutable these days. It used to be so much easier to read her reactions to him - she was usually either crying or screaming. But, after a few seconds, she broke into an almost wry smile.

"I suppose I should be grateful that someone of your stature at least thinks I have academic potential. I feared you might just have a thing for blondes."

"I, er...."

Jake stammered the words out. Jenny had clearly grown up into one of those hot girls who knew guys were into her and was confident enough to call them out on it. And she was Cambridge tutor level smart too. He was way out of his depths here.

"No, it wasn't that."

"Very well then. I'm content to put my cynicism to one side and accept your offer, given your dazzling CV" she decided "But I'm going to ask you for something in return. My time isn't quite as cheap as you seem to assume."

"Okay, what do you want? Money? Because I don't have a lot of that."

"I want you to teach here."

"What, at an all girls college!?"

"The single gender rule only applies to the students, not the tutors. And it would be a real feather in my cap to bring someone of your standing on board here."

"But would what I even teach?"

"Well, female anatomy would be the logical answer to that question."

"Oh. My. God." Bash suddenly lost interest in his porn, an extremely rare occurrence, and was fully tuned into the conversation "Little Jenny Jerkoff is fixing you up with a job teaching sexy nerd girls about their bodies?! She truly is the gift that keep on giving!"

"Well, I.."

"It makes perfect sense. You said you wanted to learn how to teach. I've always found the best way of learning is by doing. And I could monitor your progress and give you my feedback."

"So you'd be in my classes?"

"In the front row, as your most attentive student."

"Holy fuck Jakey!" Bash was almost hyperventilating "Just when I think this can't get any more perfect it does! You have to accept her offer. YOU HAVE TO!"

"But I'm not local"

A forty mile trek to work each morning didn't appeal to Jake at all. Even if the journey time and train prices didn't put him off, he'd doubtless be running into his least favourite train attendant on a regular basis. Assuming she had kept her job after Bash's shenanigans with her.

"You could take a room here. I realise it might feel a little like you'd be living in a dorm full of teenage girls, but technically you'd be in the staff section. You and I would be neighbours."

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!"Bash was freaking out in a way Jake had never witnessed before "Did you hear that Jakey? We'd be living next door to Little Jenny Jerkoff again, but this time in a fucking all girls college! It would be just like the old days, only way, way better and way, way hotter. You have to take this job, man! Just do it already! Don't leave your bestest buddy hanging like this!"

"Okay, so..."

Jake's answer was interrupted by a shriek of deep embarrassment that brought back more than a few old memories. It seemed Jennifer had just noticed what had been showing on her screen the whole time the pair had been talking.

Then Jake went as white as a ghost as he realised who one of the two on screen female lovers was, and recognised the couch they were fucking on as his own.