Its just not fair

"Unbelievable." She Hulk shook her head.

"I hear ya Shulkie." Spider-Man shared a look with her and then they both returned to watching the Human Torch try to fend off the affections of an alien warrior woman.

"When it comes to aliens in the mood for love I get psycho stalker sentient alien goo while Johnny gets Amazon Women from the Moon." He clicked his tongue settling on the wall over her head. "Its just not fair."

"Alien goo?" She-Hulk asked looking up at him.

"Venom."

"Venom's a woman?" She-Hulk asked. "I thought it was a dude."

"Uhm... well Eddie Brock is the guy connected to the Alien Symbiote." Spider-Man stopped and actually thought. "I... I dont know what Venom is. I dont think symbiotes have gender. I dont think Venom ever said one way or the other. Just that we needed to be together forever and if it couldnt have me it was going to eat my brain."

"You know even by our standards, super hero standards, your life is weird, Webhead." She-Hulk observed.

"Yup!" He bobbed his head.

She-Hulk looked up as S.H.I.E.L.D. fast attack aircraft started patrolling the airspace over the battlefield. "Calvary is here."

"Fashionably late as always." Hawkeye joked as he limped over and slumped against the wall by She-Hulk. "What are we talking about over here?"

"Spidey's bad luck when it comes to aliens in the mood for luuuuv." She-Hulk snorted.

Hawkeye looked up at Spider-Man, "You Captain Kirked an alien amazon too?"

Spider-Man dropped to the ground and sat next to Hawkeye on the ground. "Not even once. Venom is the closest I've ever gotten to it."

"Eeww. Venom tried to kiss you? With that tongue, those teeth and the green spit?" Hawkeye's lips curled in disgust. "Isnt Venom a really buff gym bro?"

Spider-Man shuddered. "Yeah. I dont like to think about the fact that he's gone pyscho stalker on me. And wont take no for an answer."

"Would it make that much of a difference if it was a woman?" She-Hulk asked pointedly.

"No more Eddie Brock." Spider-Man cocked his head to the side and fantasized for a second about a life without Venom. Then at She-Hulk's prompt he swapped male for female. "Edie Brock. I would love a female Venom. Maybe she'd want to eat something other than my brain." Spider-Man joked.

"Your precious bodily fluids." Hawkeye guffawed.

"Men." She-Hulk rolled her eyes.