It Sounds Stupid

When Thu woke up, she was relieved to see Lucy still in her bed. She'd convinced herself that the last twenty-four hours might've been some kind of cruel, taunting, fever dream. She daren't touch her body or stroke her hair but she lingered there for a while, breathing in scent, watching her chest rise and fall.

When she eventually got out of bed, Lucy groaned, 'what time is it?'

'Seven o'clock,' she replied, absently.

'I thought you said we were sleeping in,' Lucy whined.

'For me, seven o'clock really is sleeping in. Don't worry, I'll let you lie in as long as you want. I'll bring your breakfast.' After receiving a smile and an appreciative sigh, Thu went off to get showered and changed before making pancakes. It was really beginning to set in and she couldn't help but smile. She looked into the mirror after she'd brushed her teeth, to see a happy reflection staring back at her for the first time in a long time. In some strange mix of embarrassment, she actually had to look away after a while. Not wanting to overthink things or pick at herself, Thu threw herself into the work of making Lucy's breakfast. She caught herself smiling a few more times but snapped out of it eventually.

'Ooh, yummy,' the girl called out, sitting up and licking her lips dramatically. She sat on the edge of the bed and Lucy shifted her position to lean over her shoulder. 'Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!'

Thu laughed softly and began to feed her forkfuls. She adored the noises her girlfriend made after every bite, chewing and moaning and swallowing hard before opening her mouth for the next round. When she was finally finished, Thu hesitated. Unsure if it would be going too far, she gave into herself and held the plate up for Lucy to lick it clean. Entirely without shame, the doggirl tongued up all of the residual syrup and smiled afterwards. The girl did not keep the taste of syrup to herself however, as she took the soonest opportunity to kiss her deeply. Thu moaned into Lucy's mouth and reflexively pushed at the girl's waist but didn't put up much more resistance than that. They kissed, greedily and clumsily, for a while but Thu dragged herself away as soon as her girlfriend tried to take things further. 'I've got something for you,' she said, a line that seemed sure to work.

Lucy's ears perked up cutely and she asked, 'really?' with wide eyes.

'Yeah,' she said, fishing the relevant items out of her jacket pocket, 'we're going to the grocery store today, so I thought you could do with this.' She brought back and handed her a key to the apartment. Lucy regarded it with a hint of reverence as she took it. 'That's for if I get called away which, you have to remember, could happen basically whenever.' Lucy nodded. 'And this,' she continued, producing a fistful of twenty dollar bills, 'is your allowance.'

'I'm not a kid,' Lucy laughed, though she took the money eagerly.

'I know,' she replied, softly, 'you're my girlfriend,' causing the blonde girl to beam, 'and I don't want you to feel like I'm in control of your life. This is yours, every week, no questions asked, to spend on whatever you want.' They hugged, and it felt so good. 'Alright, you should go get ready,' she said, once she became worried that she might be tempted to just linger in the girl's arms forever. Once she'd run off for her shower, Thu turned on the television. The morning news was covering last night's shit-show. She realised that she'd probably have to tell Lucy not to watch these kinds of things. Not that the girl was likely to listen.

Lucy showed up, ready to go, in a miniskirt, a t-shirt that hugged her large breasts tightly, and her baggy hoodie. Her legs, again, were bare, except for a pair of trainers and ankle socks. Thu let her eyes linger on them for just a while. 'Well, what do you think?' Lucy asked, twirling around performatively.

'Your roots are showing,' Thu said, winking. The remark earned her a smack on the arm and she pretended it hurt. Soon after, the pair of them were off. Lucy followed her lead as she navigated the winding city streets. They got a few sour looks but Lucy never seemed to mind and she let people grab her tail whenever they asked. After she let one particularly precocious little boy pull on it, just as they were about to get their trolley, Thu was **** to ask, 'why do you let people do that?'

Lucy perked an ear up, looking confused, 'why wouldn't I?'

'For the same reason I wouldn't let people grab my ass or touch my hair.'

Lucy rolled her eyes, 'people are just curious about me. It's natural.'

'Whatever,' she returned and they headed in. Lucy stared with wonder at practically every shelf. 'Have you never been to a grocery store?'

Lucy shook her head, 'no, at the AWIO, they just brought all our food in. We got to go places sometimes but, like, parks and museums. This place is so cool.'

Thu smiled at that and let the subject drop. 'I'm gonna' get what we need. You just pick whatever you like.' In the end, that idea somewhat backfired on her. 'Okay, you're definitely paying for this,' she said as they went through the checkout, referring to the enormous pile of candy that rivalled the rest of the groceries in size and grossly outmatched them in price. When Lucy began stuffing her face with chocolate on the way home, Thus was really tempted to lick some off the corner of her mouth. There were too many eyes watching, however, so she stifled the urge.

When they got inside and dumped their bags, Lucy pinned her against the wall, something that had become a trend for her. She still had chocolate smeared across her mouth when she looked up at her with pleading, lust-filled, eyes and said, 'I want you.'

'Lucy,' Thu tried to laugh and push her away.

'I hate having to wait for you to make a move,' the girl whined, 'I just want you to fuck me.'

'I have to do the meal prep,' she said, pushing her away more forcefully, 'please, it's really important.'

Lucy looked like she might cry, 'fine,' she replied, before wandering off. Thu tried to settle her own emotions and, thankfully, the meal prep let her do just that. She kept the kitchen door open, hoping that her girlfriend might become curious but she didn't show up. About halfway through the process, Thu was drawn from the kitchen by banging and clattering sounds from her bedroom and set off to investigate. She discovered her drawers and her clothes strewn about the floor.

'Lucy, what the hell?!'

The monster girl looked up at her, defiantly. 'I can't find your dildo,' she pouted.

'I,' she could barely speak, stifling a laugh, 'Lucy, Jesus! I don't have a fucking dildo,' she could barely even say the word, 'and you shouldn't be so careless.' She spotted a framed photo on the floor, 'you could've broken this!'

'What do you care?' Lucy asked, her voice a little shaky, 'if it was that important, you wouldn't have it hidden away in a sock drawer.'

She's got me there. 'Look, it is important. It was a gift, I don't want it to get broken,' she said, picking it up and putting it away without looking at it, 'but I don't like pictures with my mom in them.'

Lucy's demeanour changed instantly and she crossed her arms. 'Oh my God,' she squealed, 'do you have mommy issues?' The girl giggled cruelly, before coming to some sort of realisation. 'Is that why you tried to sleep with your teacher?'

'I did not try to sleep with my English teacher,' Thu replied. She could hear the vulnerability in her voice. 'I knew I shouldn't have brought that up.' She flashed her girlfriend a look of anger. 'I sent her a love letter. I was very young and very stupid and this is very embarrassing.'

'You're the one who wanted a monster girl,' Lucy cried, 'and here I am throwing myself at you, and you're so insecure you can barely touch me.'

'That's not true, please,' she begged, 'I just need time.' As if on cue, her pager went off. Saved by the bell. 'Look, I've got to go. Babe, I'm sorry. There's lots of stuff in the fridge. There's takeout menus in the kitchen. You've got my computer. One-two-three-four, remember?'

Lucy kept her arms crossed and huffed, looking away from her.

She considered saying something but she couldn't think, so she just got changed and went to work. She let the ride over to the station calm her down and, by the time she'd been through another little slice of the urban hell she loved, she decided to pick some things up for Lucy on the way back. Buying forgiveness for something that isn't even my fault, what a fool am I?

Thankfully, Lucy was in a much better mood when she got back, possibly on account of the two large pepperoni pizzas she'd apparently eaten. 'Hey,' she said, bounding up to her and sounding contrite, 'sorry for making a mess in your room.'

'It's fine,' Thu said, reflexively, 'I got you this.' She presented her girlfriend with a pink motorcycle helmet.

'Wow,' Lucy said, admiringly.

'Now, we can go places together, like further away. I thought we could even take the bike when we go to the AWIO for our meeting.'

Lucy beamed, 'sure!'

With her worst fears alleviated, Thu tidied up the apartment without complaint and then they went on their way. 'Hold on tight,' she said, once they'd got to her bike. She loved the feeling of Lucy's arms around her waist and lingered in the embrace for a while before kicking off. They got to the AWIO in no time and Thu would have to admit that she was nervous. She couldn't help but wonder if they'd pry too deeply.

'Ah, Miss McCarthy,' a faun girl said, 'right this way, please.' She was short, with big brown eyes and pert breasts only covered by her hair. 'Hi Lucy,' the girl said, as they walked to the interview room.

'Hey,' Lucy said, sheepishly. Thu had to assume this was another one of the girls she'd slept with. The interviewer, or counsellor as the case may have been, turned out to be a monster girl herself. Her top half looked perfectly human, with tied back blonde hair and stylish black-rimmed glasses, with a business jacket and shirt. Her bottom half, however, or perhaps her bottom three quarters, was a massive snake's tail, yellow with an intricate blue pattern of stripes. It covered the couch she was vaguely sitting on and a fair amount of the floor.

'Hello, Lucy,' she smiled, 'and you must be her sponsor, Miss McCarthy. It's a pleasure to meet you,' she said, extending her hand.

'It's lovely to meet you,' Thu replied, shaking her hand, 'Missus?'

'Oh, just call me Kara.'

'Alright, so,' she said, settling into the opposite couch, 'how does this work?'

Kara just smiled, 'there's no fixed procedure. This is just to check in, to see how things are going. Have you two had any problems?'

Just as Thu was about to shake her head, Lucy piped up. 'She's withholding sex,' she announced.

Thu sputtered at that. 'Is this true?' Kara asked, inclining her head.

'It's been like two days,' Thu said quickly.

Kara frowned at that, 'most of our sponsors consummate their partnerships on the first day. Some of them manage to do it before they've even left the building.'

'Right,' she conceded, 'but that's just not,' she stopped and started, 'I would just prefer to take things slow.'

Lucy whined at that, 'see?!'

Kara nodded, 'I do see, Lucy. Are you asking us to bring you home?'

Thu held her breath. 'What?! No,' Lucy replied, startled, 'I really like her.'

'But you're not willing to wait for her to be comfortable?' Maybe Kara was on her side, at least a little, Thu dared to think.

Lucy whined, 'I guess. It's just,' she seemed to struggle for words, 'it's hard.'

Kara then fixed Thu with her gaze. 'Do you have issues with intimacy, Miss McCarthy?'

She made to speak, she even managed to open her mouth, but no words came out.

'I'll phrase things a little differently. When was the last time you were involved with someone, sexually?'

Never. 'Uh, it's, well, I've only really ever been with one girl. It was in high school. My step-sister, like, dared her friend to sleep with me. We were in bed together, kissing, I took off my top,' she said, reliving the memory, 'and then she told me about the dare. It was so humiliating.'

'You're afraid to be intimate because of something that happened when you were a teenager?'

'It sounds stupid when you put it like that,' Thu said, bitterly.

'I'm not saying it's stupid. I'm saying that a long time has passed since then and Lucy hasn't given you any reason to believe that her affections aren't genuine.'

'That's true,' she said, struggling to even look at Lucy, who seemed rapt, 'I just,' she laughed, 'can't fucking get over myself.'

Kara simply nodded, 'I think you've hit the nail on the head. I'm not going to insist that you do something you're not ready to do. However, I think you need to decide, arguably right now, whether you will ever be ready to give Lucy what she needs. Otherwise, withdrawing your sponsorship would be the best course of action.'

Thu said nothing, so Lucy spoke for her, 'no, I'll be patient. I really do like her and I enjoy being around her.' Lucy turned to her, 'Thu, you're scaring me.'

That snapped her out of it, 'I'm sorry, you're right. I really don't want to give up what we have.' She cleared her throat and turned to Kara, 'I will be ready, in time.'

'That's really good to hear,' the snake woman said, 'we only want what's best for both of you.'

The meeting proceeded more pleasantly from there and Thu got to hear Lucy rave about her, after having got the initial unpleasantness off her chest. By the time they left, Thu had decided to treat her. They rode off to a park, one that was a little out-of-the-way but still within fifteen minutes of their apartment. It was quite plain but very large, and Thu retrieved the other present, that she'd purchased on her way home from work, from one of her saddle bags. She squeaked it without letting Lucy see it.

'You bitch,' the doggirl said, smiling. Lucy then tried to wrestle it away from her. Thu kept it out of her reach and, at least for a little while, managed to keep it out of her sight. When Lucy tried to drag her to the ground, she revealed the squeaky tennis ball and threw it across the field. Lucy's ears perked upon seeing it and she ran like hell to retrieve it. Thu was on her heels instantly, however, and they wrestled for control of the toy as soon as she picked it up. They played hard like this, running and wrestling, until they were both sweaty and exhausted.

Eventually, they found their way to a secluded area, where the ground was gently sloped, and laid themselves down next to one another, puffing and panting. What possessed her exactly, she did not know, but Thu soon climbed over her, staring deeply into her eyes. 'I never meant to hurt you,' she said, 'I should've been upfront about my inexperience. My issues.'

Lucy shook her head, 'they wouldn't have let you take me, if they'd known.' That hurt and she kissed her, as much for Lucy's sake as her own. The girl moaned into her mouth and drove her knee up to Thu's groin. She drew back, uncertainly, before she was overcome by a terrifying desire. She kissed her again, and squeezed her hand, eagerly, around one of her breasts. They groped and ground against one another for what felt like an eternity before the sound of distant voices broke the spell. Flush with embarrassment, Thu pulled herself up, and gave Lucy a hand.

The ride back was strangely numbing but she remained contented. At each stage, when they got to her apartment, when they got showered, when they got into bed, Thu expected Lucy to initiate something but she remained restrained. They kissed a little but the blonde did not push further and they fell asleep in each other's arms.