It’s the runner!

‘E-excuse me?’

All three of you freeze in surprise. You’re close enough to see the hairs on the back of Emma Watson’s neck stand up.

‘Sorry – I know I’m supposed to be guarding the door, but – the warehouse manager’s here,’ the voice goes on, sounding kind of exactly like an extremely embarrassed runner who’s just had to listen to an hour of celebrities fucking through a very thin wall. ‘He wants to lock up. Do you think you could – ah – maybe – just – hurry up a little?’

Emma Stone wheezes out a laugh. ‘Tell her we’ll be out in five. Maybe.’ Her head nestles back into Emma Watson’s neck.

You smile. ‘Thanks! What’s your name?’ you call out.

‘M-Madison.’ The runner sounds mortified.

‘Cheers, Madison.’ You yawn, and cast your eyes around for your boxers. ‘Sorry about the noise. We’ll be out in a sec.’

‘Unless you want to join in?’ Emma Stone adds unexpectedly, before breaking into giggles. ‘No, sorry – that was mean! Sorry, Madison!’

‘That’s okay…’ The sound is muffled anyway, but you get the distinct impression of someone talking with their hands over their face.

Emma Watson looks almost as mortified as poor Madison. ‘Do you mean – does that mean she could actually hear us?’ she splutters, before remembering to whisper. ‘Oh – God –’

‘Sweetheart, your tits are gonna be on the cover of Vanity Fair tomorrow,’ you remind her, not unkindly. ‘Now is probably not the time to develop an insecurity complex.’

Emma Stone snickers. ‘He’s got you there, Em.’

Emma Watson makes a face at you both. ‘Just help me find my robe, okay? And for the record…’ She pauses, finger wavering between you. ‘I blame you both.’

‘I blame us too,’ Emma Stone agrees happily. ‘Bad, bad us.’ She offers you her hand lazily, and you high-five it from the floor. ‘Let’s do this again sometime, and then you can blame us some more.’

It takes a few minutes to find your clothes and get yourselves looking fractionally less like you’ve just been fucked, and Emma Watson blushes deeply as she unlocks the door and walks out. You amble out after her, giving Madison a lazy wink which makes her go even redder, and Emma Stone pauses to tip her an extra fifty bucks.