It's not his fault his arms are swords

Nate awoke in a very weird state. The closest he could immediately equate it to was the feeling he had had when he and Alex had gone and intentionally gotten blackout drunk so they could say they knew the way it felt. Specifically, the feeling he had on the cusp of blacking out, the last sensations he was able to recall after the fact.

The world moved in slow motion and his brain wanted it to slow the fuck down, please, you’re moving too fast.

“Here,” a kind, soft voice said, pushing a cup into his hand. “It should help with the grogginess.”

He pushed the cup away weakly, struggling to rise to his feet. There was something… important. Something he needed to do.

A pair of hands gently pushed him back down, while another pair opened one of his hands and pushed the cup back in. The same voice as before spoke, “Please, stay seated, your body is still adapting. Drink, it will help, everything will be alright.”

Nate tried to slap the drink away, but barely managed the strength to slap the bearer’s wrist. He struggled once more to stand up, trying desperately to remember what he had forgotten, that important thing that he needed to remember…

A sigh. “Fine, if you want to be like that, we will do this the painful way.”

Nate’s body tensed at those words, which were followed by a *SNAP*.

And then the most brutal headache he had ever experienced smashed his head to pieces. It was painful enough that some small part of him was shocked that he didn’t pass out. The rest of him didn’t have the bandwidth to be shocked, there was just so much pain!

The cup was pushed back into his hand again, and the voice said, less softly this time, “Drink. It will HELP.”

Nate didn’t care if the voice might be lying, he needed the pain to stop. So he drank. It was a bitter tasting liquid, but not so bitter as to **** him to spit it out immediately. As it hit his stomach he surprising began to feel the pain lessening, more and more until he realized the pain had gone away, and he could open his eyes.

He was in a large room, likely some kind of living room or entertainment room, if the giant couch he was sitting on, the massive flat screen TV, and the four armchairs to the sides were any indications. The room was unfamiliar, so he hadn’t been here in the past, and there was only a single occupant other than himself.

She was… in a word, a demon. She had red skin, black hair, dark sclera, and yellow irises. A pair of horns jutted above her head, arcing back away from her face. She was wearing, of all things, a skirt and blouse combination that made her look like a secretary. The glasses and the clutched tablet certainly helped the image, though not even the demure clothing could hide the serious muscles she appeared to have beneath.

Oh, right, and she had four arms.

Yeah, four arms, two on each side. The second pair was below the first pair, situated in essentially what would be a normal human’s armpit. And both pairs of arms were sleeveless and jacked.

“Are we awake and no longer in pain, now?” The calm voice he had heard before coming from this four-armed, muscular, demon secretary woman in front of him just capped off nicely the what-the-fuck cake he was finding himself in.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Good. Then it is my pleasure to welcome you, master.”

“Uh… master? Welcome me? To where? Where are we even- My family!”

The distraction of the mismatched image the demoness presented had been enough to temporarily daze Nate, but the moment he recalled the situation his family and friends had been left in, he leapt to his feet.

“Where am I?! How do I get back to… I need to get back to Lake Tahoe, my family is in danger there! There was this attack by these giant space monsters and-”

“The tyrranids, yes.”

“I was fighting one and- wait, what did you say?”

“You were fighting a tyrranid, yes. I brought you here so you didn’t die.”

“I was… wait, that door? You were the one who…”

“I opened the door, yes. If I hadn’t, you would have died, master, and we can’t have that, no.”

“Wait, that door! You could bring me back, right, then I could-“

“Die.”

“-save th- huh?”

The demoness shook her head sadly, “If I let you return, you will die, master. The tyrranids are beyond your ability to handle. You would show up, try and fight one off to save somebody, and be killed in the process.”

Cold gripped Nate. She was right. He would go back, try and save someone, and then die. But, his family… Alex… Maria…

Sensing his inner turmoil, the demoness stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug. It was weird, being hugged by a four arms from a single person, all at once.

“Shhh,” she whispered in his ear, “Relax. Do not worry about your family or friends, master, everything will be alright.”

“Al-alright? Are you going to save them? Bring them here with your door?”

“Shhh, all in good time. But rest easy, you will not lose anyone today, master.”

Somehow, for some reason, Nate believed her. This weird demon person he’d never met before in his life. He truly believed she was telling him the truth. And so as his tension broke and his adrenaline started to crash, he broke into tears, sobbing into the bosom of a woman he didn’t know, but feeling safe all the same.

Serena stared down at the Master as he napped on her lap. She was glad the dossier had been correct – the producers had given her exactly what she wanted. Willing to fight to protect his family, and yet, when thrust into an unfamiliar situation with the lives of his loved ones on the line, **** was not his first recourse.

He would need that restraint in the coming days. He would need his ability to think quickly, to direct and organize people under duress. For while her game was certainly more forgiving in certain aspects compared to the past seasons of Harem Hotel, there were additional complications that would push him to his limits. Physically, intellectually, and emotionally.

But Serena had hope. Nate had shown himself to be everything she hoped for, so far. She could only hope that he would continue on that path.

For if he did, she thought, a smile touching her usually placid face, this season would be everything she hoped for, and more.

Nate awoke again, no grogginess this time, on the same couch in that same entertainment room. He sat up as soon as he awoke, turning to look at the figure of the demon secretary staring out one of the windows across the room.

As he watched she spoke up, “You are awake again, master. Do you feel better now?”

“Yes,” he said. “I think… I think I’m ready to hear why you brought me here, now.”

For that was the elephant in the room. She had whisked him away from danger, yes, but everything from how she acted, to her referring to him as ‘master,’ all pointed to her wanting something from him.

She turned away from the window, examining him for a second, before she nodded, “Good, then let us get down to business.”

She strode toward him, stopping a short distance away, before bowing, “Welcome, Master Nathaniel Hawkins, to Harem Hotel. I will be your host, Serena Hopekiller.”

Serena straightened back up, waiting for Nate’s reaction, which he struggled to summon. Finally, he managed to ask, “Hopekiller?”

A small smile snuck onto Serena’s face. “That is your first question? It seems we have picked well, in that case.”

“No, it’s just… with the harem thing I don’t even know where to start.”

“Very well, then let me continue. You have been chosen as the Master for the latest season of Harem Hotel, inter-dimensional reality’s most popular reality show. You and six lucky Contestants will have the opportunity to spend 100 days in this quasi-dimension filled romance, drama, and, most importantly, lust, with each Contestant competing to be a part of your harem.”

“… What?”

“Was something unclear?” Serena asked.

“Um… no, it wasn’t so much unclear as it was unbelievable. I mean, even putting aside the whole dimensional aspect which I’ve already had grapple with thanks to that door, it kinda sounds like you’re putting me on the supernatural version of the Bachelor? Is that right? Do you even know what that is?”

Serena raised one hand and waffled it back and forth, “You’re not completely wrong, but not completely right. While this is indeed a dating show like the Bachelor of your dimension, unlike that show, Master will not be picking a winner at the end of the day.

“Instead, Contestants will be competing to remain in your harem by the end of the show, and those who succeed will be bound to you as lovers, receiving a position of permanent favor in your harem.”

Nate frowned, rubbing his chin. “So… again, I understand what you’re saying, it’s just kind of unbelievable. Like, what crazy girl would even sign up for such a contest?”

Serena pondered for a moment. “Perhaps it would be easiest if I just show you the video all the Contestants see to explain the rules and then answer questions after that. Would that be fine, Master?”

Nate sighed and rubbed his head, “Sure, I guess that can’t hurt. Cue it up and let’s watch it.”

“As you wish, master.”

*SNAP*