It's a little different than usual...

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Town Whore Emilia – I’ll show you how much of a bimbo I am! …I mean not! How much of a bimbo I’m not!

• Dugtrio – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Gloom – Capable, Healthy
• Primeape – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Onix – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Golduck – Fairly Strong, Healthy

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VS

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Some Nerd – Not even Mt. Moon is remote enough to keep me from getting bullied…

• Charmander – Weak, Healthy

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With the nerd’s electric bonfire turned up to max, there’s barely enough space for a proper pokemon battle, though it’s still pretty cramped. Still, it’ll be interesting to see what pokemon he sends out. He said he researches pokemon, right? It must be something really rare!

“Okay, let’s get this over with. Charmander, go!”

Aww, Charmander! It’s such a cute little lizard! It doesn’t really suit this gloomy nerd, honestly. Maybe you should offer it a better home? Anyway, if he’s going with a Fire type, you have the perfect pick. “Onix, I choose you!”

Your enormous rock snake appears, taking up practically the entire area that’s available for battle. Charmander stares up at Onix’s head, the intimidation plain on its face. In fact, both Charmander and its nerdy trainer are synchronized in their nervous, upward stare. Well, if your opponent is too awestruck to battle, then you’ll just have to get things going yourself!

“Onix, use Rock Slide!”

A swarm of rocks break loose from the ground before flying at Charmander, one after the other in a nonstop barrage. Except that it does stop. It stops pretty quickly, actually, considering Charmander goes down after only two rocks are thrown. Onix roars in victory as the nerd returns his Charmander to his pokeball.

“Woohoo, I won!” you cheer. “Now you have to… wait, what’s wrong?”

You can’t help but notice that the nerd’s hands are balled up into fists and his eyebrows are furrowed. He looks so upset that it’s starting to feel like you did something wrong here. Well, you did interrupt him when he was in the middle of his own activity, and you never really asked if he wanted to battle. But it’s not like you could’ve held back enough for him to win anyway! You’re just way stronger than him! And it’s not like he would actually mind showing you to the exit, right? Um… Did you just become a bully?

The nerd opens his mouth to shakily speak. “You… you’re just so… freaking… STUPID!!!”

“Huh!?” you sputter in shock. “Q-Quit insulting my intelligence! If you’re so smart, then you should have won! But you lost, so you have to show me the way out of this cave!” There goes any sympathy you had for this rude nerd! He’s a regular loser and a sore loser!

“You have an Onix! They live in caves! They can see in the dark! You can just climb on its back and it can take you anywhere in the cave! But no, you had to walk up out of nowhere and harass me because you’re too irreversibly moronic to use your pokemon for literally anything other than battling!” A long pause hangs in the air. “Consider my lesson in common sense to be your prize. Now leave me alone!”

The nerd walks away, leaving you standing with your cheeks bright red. Onix leans down and nudges you affectionately with its head. Haha… ha… You pat Onix on the head, then climb on its back. “You can find a way to the other side of this cave, right?” you ask. Onix answers by sliding forward, already heading to its destination.

Skill Learned: Using Your Pokemon for Literally Anything Other Than Battling

It’s a surprisingly smooth ride, aside from an occasional screech and the feeling that Onix just ran into a small flying pokemon of no importance. They’d probably be a major nuisance if you had to run through here on foot. Aside from that, Onix also has to dive into tunnels leading up and down between different levels of the cave. You’d have never found your way through here in the dark! Thank goodness you have Onix. Yup, it’s just Onix who you have to thank for getting you through this cave. There were no nerds involved, and there definitely wasn’t any bullying involved. None whatsoever.