Intermission 3

Good evening! Sylvia River here! Things are sure getting tense, aren't they? Our first elimination round, golly gee! And only a few days left to go before we have to say farewell to one of our beloved girls as she leaves the harem forever. She'll still be around, of course, but will it really be the same? I think not.

So with that in mind, I think it’s important that we take a little time to check in with our competitors, and see how they’re feeling about all this. I’ve got a few interview questions to ask them, so we can get to know everyone a little better!

Hmm?

Why am I trying to endear these girls to you, when one of them is destined to depart?

Well…

Sometimes it isn’t enough to stab someone, you’ve really gotta twist the knife.

So, let’s start from the top! The lady with the highest score in the last round who’s up for elimination!

Gina’s Interview

Sylvia: Good morning, Gina! Thank you for agreeing to this interview today!

Gina: Wait, am I high? I thought we were on the beach. How did I get here?

Sylvia: Not important. Anyway, I’ve got some questions for you, would you please do me a favor and answer them honestly?

Gina: …Yeah, sure, why not?

Sylvia: Great! Now, question one…

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Gina: Well… what do you want me to say?

Sylvia: Just answer honestly.

Gina: It sucks. The only good thing about this place is the free bar.

Sylvia: Well, you get to hang out with Nick and Dakota, don’t you? And the other girls?

Gina: Yeah, well, none of ‘em want to party, so what’s even the point? I mean, if they had some fun, then that would be one thing, but they don’t.

Sylvia: Fair enough, fair enough. I’ll submit your response as “Hopeful for more fun activities to share with friends.”

Gina: Wait-

Sylvia: Next question!

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Sylvia: My, my, what a question! Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Gina: Before I came here? I guess… I don’t know, my memory’s not so good, but I did get in this three-way with a this one chick and her boyfriend that was pretty hot. The dude barely lasted a few minutes, though, so his girlfriend and I had to take care of each other. Good thing she was pretty dominant, because it’s hard for me to get going without a dick involved, you know?

Sylvia: Well. It certainly seems like you’re enjoying stepping away from your role as a good girl.

Gina: Well, what can I say? YOU wanted honesty.

Sylvia: Fair enough.

What is your favorite fetish?

Gina: Oh, definitely being choked.

Sylvia: ****? Really?

Gina: Totally. Well, ****, slapping, basically anything where I can really feel the passion of my partner through pain, you know?

Sylvia: Yes… well, that’s really something. Nick didn’t do any of that with you, though, did he?

Gina: Well… no. But I mean, it’s not necessary. I’m not one of those freaks that can only get off when she’s being hit or whatever.

Sylvia: Oh, my, no, you proved that quite well when you took Nick's virginity!

Gina: Ahem. Well…

Sylvia: From what it seemed to us, your favorite fetish actually seems to be steamy vanilla sex.

Gina: Next question please!

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Gina: Come on, really?!

Sylvia: Answer the question my girl. Does he make you feel all warm and squiggly inside? Do you wanna just give him a big ol’ smooch? Or are your feelings a lot more dirty and devious? Maybe you want him to **** you?

Gina: Do I really need to put that much detail into it? God… look, I like him, okay? He’s a cool guy, even if he’s a bit of a dork.

Sylvia: A “cool guy” huh?

Gina: …Well, I mean, he’s not the normal kind of “cool” I’m usually attracted to, but-

Sylvia: So you ARE attracted to him!

Gina: I didn’t say that!

Sylvia: …So you’re NOT attracted to him?

Gina: Stop putting words in my mouth!

Sylvia: Okay, I’ll put “Maybe attracted to him” then.

Gina: I like him, okay?! It’s just weird! Because, well… you know! I shouldn’t.

Sylvia: Shouldn’t what? Shouldn’t like him?

Gina: …No. He deserves better than someone like me.

Sylvia: Shouldn’t we leave that up to him to decide?

Gina: …

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Gina: I don’t want to answer this one, either.

Sylvia: You have to answer.

Gina: But I don’t have one of those! A dream!

Sylvia: Well, you’ve got to come up with something to say. How about “Nick’s pain slut”? I can put that down.

Gina: Don’t you fucking dare.

Sylvia: Then give me an answer.

Gina: Well… when I was a kid… I wanted to be a pop singer.

Sylvia: …

Gina: Don’t laugh! I-I was like five!

Sylvia: …

Gina: It’s not funny! Shut up!

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Ooh, that’s a tricky one. You haven’t exactly made many friends here.

Gina: Dakota, I guess. She’s the only one who really hangs out with me. And she’s not even always mean about it, either.

Sylvia: Aww, childhood friends reuniting! How sweet!

Gina: Shaddep!

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Gina: Come on, seriously?

Sylvia: Don’t worry, I won’t tell.

Gina: Fine, then… Mary, I guess.

Sylvia: Really? I would have thought Dawn for sure.

Gina: Look, yeah, Dawn’s a pain in the ass, but I feel like out of everyone here, Mary would probably be the most judgmental about my… well, my lifestyle.

Sylvia: That’s true, she doesn’t exactly seem like the most accepting of all your sex, ****, and rock and roll.

Gina: Exactly.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Gina: Hmm… I guess… huh. It’s kind of hard to think about, you know? Before this challenge I would've answered in a heartbeat, but now...

Sylvia: It can be literally anything. Imagine you were designing a transformation to give to yourself. It could be whatever you want.

Gina: Well… then I’d say I want something that lets me change my tattoos to whatever I want. You know, like how Carly can change her hairstyle at will? Something like that, but it lets me design my own tattoos whenever. Think of all the cool shit I could do then!

Sylvia: Sounds like you, alright.

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Gina: That’s… a little mean, huh?

Sylvia: Well, you could be nice about it.

Gina: I’m not really the kind of girl that does “nice” for other people.

Sylvia: Maybe that’s the reason why you don’t have any friends.

Gina: Okay, fine. I guess… hmm. He he he…

Sylvia: Ooh, I like that smile, what were you think?

Gina: Oh, nothing, I was just thinking that it might be amusing to give Dawn a few curves. You know, like how Dani got turned into a sex doll? Give that one to Dawn and let her finally see what she’s missing out on. Who knows, maybe it’ll get that stick out of her ass!

Sylvia: I like the way you think! That sounds like a great transformation! Okay, last question.

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Gina: …Seriously?

Sylvia: Hey, I didn’t make the questions. So, we’re gonna need an answer.

Gina: I think you’re a sadistic freak who doesn’t care about other people. And while I can respect that you’re just doing your job, I think you enjoy it way too damn much to be a good person. I don’t care how “friendly” you act, you’re a creep, lady. Sorry.

Sylvia: “Host… passionate… about… job. Really… gives it… her… all…” …Okay! Great! Thank you for your feedback, you’re free to go!

Gina: That was NOT what I-

Sylvia: Bye-bye!

Carly’s Interview

Sylvia: Carly Granger! Nice to see you!

Carly: Wait, is this a film studio? What am I doing here? I didn't get eliminated, did I?!

Sylvia: Nothing, nothing, it’s fine. We just took you aside to see if you would answer a few questions from us! So, what do you say?

Carly: Uh… yeah, sure, I guess.

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Carly: Well, I mean, it’s not what I expected. And it’s WAY more demanding than I ever imagined my summer to be. But hey, I’ve met some great people, and I got to reconnect with Nick! Not to mention connecting with him in… other ways, if you know what I mean!

Sylvia: Ah, there’s that raunchy Carly humor we love! There’s a reason why our audience loves you so much!

Carly: Really? Because they sure don’t vote like it.

Sylvia: Eh, I bet that’s probably because they just like other girls more. Trust me, on shows like this, it’s always the wholesome, corruptible girls that get the most votes, and that’s only because the audience likes seeing them get twisted up and ruined. But that doesn’t mean they don’t like you!

Carly: So I guess the fact that I’m so open to sex and being with Nick is kind of a strike against me, huh? Do audiences really not vote for the girls who want to have sex with the master?

Sylvia: Well… no. …I mean, except for Yuki’s show I guess, but you’re not a goth so it’s a totally different thing.

Carly: Who’s Yuki?

Sylvia: Don’t ask. And don’t tell anyone I mentioned that… thing either. Let’s move on before something happens that all of regret!

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Carly: Hmm. Most erotic?

Sylvia: Oh, yes, please! We’re all eager to hear about the crazy stuff you’ve gotten up to!

Carly: Um… well, I’m probably going to disappoint you. See, way, WAY too many people equate promiscuity with sexual deviancy. I’m not like that. Believe it or not, when I have sex, it’s actually very tender and intimate. Wild? Oh, fuck yeah, momma loves getting wild about it. And I won’t deny I’ve slept with a lot of guys. But I’m not some sex freak with seasonal tickets to the orgy.

Sylvia: Well, you DO have a lot of casual sex. Even the producers aren’t sure who’s been with more guys, you or Gina.

Carly: I don’t like that term. Casual sex. There was nothing “casual” about it.

Sylvia: Well, I mean, it’s just a saying that means sex outside of a committed relationship.

Carly: Yeah, I know. It just… it makes it sound like the sex I have is somehow less meaningful just because it’s not with a boyfriend or whatever. And I don’t think that’s true. For me, every partner I’m with is special. I get to know them intimately, and they get to know me intimately. It’s really the most honest form of communication there is. To cheapen it by saying it’s “just casual sex” is like saying that all those moments I shared with people weren’t meaningful. And I won’t agree with that.

Sylvia: …I see. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that. So if it’s not casual sex, what would you call it?

Carly: Hmm… well, I don’t like the term “fuckbuddies” or even “sex friends” the word I use most is “date mates”. It just sounds more intimate, you know?

Sylvia: Okay, that’s fine. So what interaction with one of your “date mates” would you say was the most erotic for you?

Carly: Well, this one time I was at a con, actually, I was going as Ruby Rose, yeah? You know, before you fucking melted my costume. And I met this girl, pretty tall, but also really cute?

Sylvia: Wait, you had sex with a girl? Oh boy, wait until Dani hears about this!

Carly: Let! Me! Finish! So anyway, we chat each other up, because, well, she’s dressed as Weiss Schnee, and I’m a total WhiteRose shipper, so of course, I’ve GOT to talk to her, right?

Sylvia: Oh, yeah, totally, mhm. (Note to self: Google “WhiteRose”)

Carly: So, I was like “well, I’ve never been with a girl before, but what the heck? Why not give it a whirl?” and then I take her up to my hotel room and I realize that she has a penis!

Sylvia: Wait, so it was a guy?

Carly: Um, no, she was transgender? God. I’m SO cancelling you on social media for that.

Sylvia: …Yeah good luck with that one, so this girl has a dick, what next?

Carly: Well, what do you mean “what next”? We, well… we did it. What do you want me to say? We had sex together!

Sylvia: And was the penis involved in this “sex” you had?

Carly: No comment.

What is your favorite fetish?

Carly: Oh, definitely oral sex.

Sylvia: Ooh, surprisingly vanilla! Giving or receiving?

Carly: Both, actually.

Sylvia: …Okay, now I’m confused. Explain?

Carly: So like, yeah, when a guy is eating me out, it’s amazing. Even when he sucks. He he. But for real, most of the time when a guy eats me out, he’s pretty bad at it. It doesn't matter though, because what really gets me going is that it’s all about ME. He’s worshipping ME. Everything he’s doing, it’s because he wants to pleasure me, it has nothing to do with his own release. And that attention… aaahn, it’s addicting! Knowing someone wants to just service you like that? There’s nothing like it.

Sylvia: But you also like giving oral sex?

Carly: Well, it’s sort of the same thing. When I’m blowing a guy, or eating a girl out, then once again, it’s kind of about me. I’M the one pleasuring them. They’re focusing all their attention on me, and I’m the star, making them feel amazing. It’s a different kind of rush, you know? You may find this hard to believe, but once I actually managed to achieve orgasm just from sucking a guy off.

Sylvia: And yet, you haven’t blown Nick yet, interesting.

Carly: Ooh, you better believe I’m saving that for a rainy day, mmm…

Sylvia: See, now that right there, that’s the kind of can-do attitude I’m talking about! Nice!

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Carly: Nick? He’s a great guy! And a great friend! And he’s a lot of fun to tease. Plus, he’s really good at having sex. I feel like when we’re together, we just have this connection, you know?

Sylvia: Like he’s one of your date mates?

Carly: Exactly. I think I felt it all the way back then, that he and I were meant to connect that way. It’s why I pursued him so aggressively, you know?

Sylvia: But you don’t have feelings for him?

Carly: Of course I have feelings for him. I wouldn’t have had sex with him if I didn’t.

Sylvia: Sorry, I mean, you don’t want him as your boyfriend?

Carly: …Well, no. That’s not really my style. Same way, I don’t expect him to be faithful to me. I think it’s great that he’s seeing other people, making other connections!

Sylvia: But you still feel the two of you have a connection?

Carly: Of course.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Carly: Hmm… I guess… keep doing what I’m doing? Keep my LonelyFans account going, I mean. I like my life, I wouldn’t really change it.

Sylvia: So you don’t have any dreams? Anything else you’d rather do?

Carly: Well, long-term dreams, sure, I’d like to climb Mt. Everest someday. That’s the goal I’m shooting for.

Sylvia: I meant more along the lines of a career. You’re not going to be 26 and gorgeous forever, you know.

Carly: …Yeah. I know.

Sylvia: So what are your plans for after that?

Carly: I haven’t really given it much thought, to be honest.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Carly: Dani, definitely. She’s such a sweetheart!

Sylvia: Well, she’s certainly sweet on you, that’s for sure.

Carly: Come on, it’s just a crush.

Sylvia: A reciprocated crush, perhaps?

Carly: If you’re asking me if I’m going to start dating her, no way. I already told you, that’s not how I do things.

Sylvia: Well, do you feel a “connection” with her, then? Like with all your other “date mates”?

Carly: I don’t think that’s any of your business, frankly.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Carly: I don’t like this question.

Sylvia: Maybe not, but you still have to answer it.

Carly: Why does it even matter? I try to just be a good person.

Sylvia: The audience wants drama. Come come my girl.

Carly: …Fine. Dakota.

Sylvia: I had a feeling you’d say that.

Carly: The way she is around Nick… I don’t like it. She acts like his possessive ex-girlfriend. The way she was staring at me after I slept with him? Terrifying.

Sylvia: Yes, she can be a little… possessive.

Carly: That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Carly: Ooh, that’s hard. Let me think… something that would really help my popularity… oh! I know! What if I always looked this smoking hot for the rest of my life?

Sylvia: So a transformation that would stop you from aging?

Carly: Exactly! Then I could just keep cosplaying forever! That would be totally awesome!

Sylvia: I can certainly see how you’d think so. But wouldn’t there be other consequences to that decision? It seems that people would be terrified by a woman who never ages.

Carly: Yeah, you’d think so, right? But somehow I doubt it.

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Carly: Um, definitely something that would make someone happier. I don’t want to hurt anybody, after all.

Sylvia: For example?

Carly: I don’t know. Maybe give Dani that transformation I almost got? The bi one.

Sylvia: That’s interesting.

Carly: Well, she really hates those dreams she’s been having. Maybe she’d hate it less if she liked guys.

Sylvia: So you want to **** your buddy to like boys, hmm? Maybe you’re the one who should get cancelled on twitter.

Carly: That’s not what I meant and you know it. I just want her to be able to sleep peacefully! You have no idea how painful it is to see her face twisted in pain and disgust every night!

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Carly: Look, we’re never going to be friends.

Sylvia: Oh, come on, don’t be like that!

Carly: You **** us! You keep forcing us to play these strange games, and you had me devoured by a slime monster!

Sylvia: That was your own fault. It’s not my fault you were the one to awaken Mimi.

Carly: You named it?!

Sylvia: She, Mimi is a she. I thought that the fact the slime dolls had boobs would have made that clear.

Carly: Insane. You are actually insane.

Sylvia: “Host has crazy dedication” got it.

Kim’s Interview

Sylvia: Hello there Kim! Glad you could join us.

Kim: Somehow, I don’t think this was really my choice.

Sylvia: Good instincts! It was not. No, we brought you here to answer some questions from us, before you get kicked out! Maybe. Who knows? We’ll have to see!

Kim: Yeah, sure, why not? Not like I have anything else I could be doing right now, since you literally dragged me here across space and time.

Sylvia: There’s that dedicated employee spirit we love about you, my girl!

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Kim: Uh… is this a trick question?

Sylvia: Nope! How do you feel about it? Happy? Upset? Excited?

Kim: Well… if I’m being honest? This isn’t even the worst job I’ve had.

Sylvia: You’re kidding me. …Err, I mean, of course not! Yes, being a member of the master’s harem is a great reward! Yeah…

Kim: Have you ever had to muck out a deep-fryer?

Sylvia: …

Kim: Yeah, that’s what I thought. So yeah, I’ve had worse experiences than this, but it’s still a nightmare. I’ll be happy when we’re done, thank you very much.

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Kim: Lady, do I look like the kind of person who gets much action? Did you SEE the bags under my eyes when I came here? I have had ZERO sexual experiences. Nick was my first fucking kiss!

Sylvia: Okay, okay, we’ll change the question. Instead of necessarily an “erotic sexual experience” what was your cutest moment with Nick? You two did some flirting, after all, more about that!

Kim: Well… I mean, look, he’s not the most handsome guy around, you know? But well… I’m not exactly the prettiest girl, either. And it was nice to have someone pay attention to me. Instead of seeing me as a drone scanning barcodes, or a set of tits required to pay attention and be friendly, Nick treated me like a real person. And that… well, that meant a lot.

Sylvia: Aww… I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…

Kim: Go suck a lemon.

What is your favorite fetish?

Kim: I refer you back to my previous response.

Sylvia: “Contestant has fetish for citrus fruit.”

Kim: No, you tool! I mean, I don’t HAVE any sexual experiences!

Sylvia: You don’t need to have sexual experience to have a fetish my girl, believe me.

Kim: Yeah, well, I don’t. I just don’t think about that stuff. Do you have any idea how little free time I have in the day? Day shifts. Night shifts. BRUNCH shifts, fucking BRUNCH shifts, who the fuck eats brunch?! I operate on MAXIMUM of four hours of sleep, and the other twenty are spent doing some of the most degrading, soul-crushing work there is!

Sylvia: Vote canvassing?

Kim: …

Sylvia: Come on my girl, you can’t have me believe that with all the stress in your life as a minimum wage worker that you’ve NEVER done something to “take the edge off” as it were.

Kim: …Nope. No fetishes.

Sylvia: “Contestant practices orgasm denial.”

Kim: Okay! Okay. Look, well, it’s not that I’ve never masturbated. I have, it’s just… something I do sometimes, you know? When I get… urges. But usually I just watch porn!

Sylvia: Now we’re getting somewhere. What kind of porn? Babysitter porn? Mommy porn? WMAF?

Kim: I-I don’t know, porn porn! Why do you have to categorize it?!

Sylvia: Understood. “Contestant is just downright horny, no fetish required.”

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Kim: Honestly? Not sure yet. I’m still making up my mind about him. But he’s a nice guy. He’s been supportive. And the way he took charge in this last challenge, it really made me feel all fluttery inside.

Sylvia: Well, sounds to me that your mind is made up, then, my girl.

Kim: Do you really think so?

Sylvia: Believe me, you got the itch. Better go after him before even more people get in line!

Kim: Well, I mean, I always LIKED him. I was just… making up my mind, is all.

Sylvia: That’s right sweetie.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Kim: Uh… go back to work, I guess. If I don’t win the wish, that is.

Sylvia: …That’s it? Don’t you have any higher ambitions than that?

Kim: Well, I’m going to school because I want to become a financial planner. Specifically, I want to help people in low-income brackets manage their money better, especially high school graduates. Too many people in this country are wallowing in poverty and debt due to stagnating wages while profits soar. Most college graduates leave their programs with a massive amount of high-interest debt, and the starting jobs in their fields don’t provide adequate pay to begin making a sizeable impact on that debt for several years. Those are the groups of people that are in **** need of financial relief. But because our government has no interest in helping the poor, I want to at least do my part to guide people on the proper course of action. For example, do you have any idea how predatory student loan debt is? And yet so many people just sign those forms without even thinking. I want to be able to help advise students and their families on the best financial course of action they can make, which isn’t always going to college right out of high school.

Sylvia: …Um… yeah, whatever, socialist.

Kim: Fuck you.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Mary, right? You two look so cute together!

Kim: Yeah, Mary’s great, and she’s really sweet. But, well… okay, you’re going to think this is crazy, but the person I actually like the most? Dawn.

Sylvia: Dawn? Seriously? Nobody likes Dawn! Have you two even spoken before?

Kim: It-It’s not like that! The reason I like Dawn, is, well… I admire her.

Sylvia: Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn’t have had any pets growing up, would you? Those five cats are really adorable.

Kim: I admire her because of her work ethic, okay?! She’s a doctor!

Sylvia: Technically she’s a veterinarian. That’s like saying a dentist is a doctor.

Kim: Fuck you.

Sylvia: Seriously, Dawn?

Kim: I feel like she and I have a lot more in common than I have with a lot of other people. We’re both hard workers who try our best to succeed. She’s just… a little more successful than I am. But I’ve always admired self-made women like her. Mary… she’s great, she is, really, but I just don’t find her inspiring the way I find Dawn inspiring, you know? She’s got her own thing, she just wants to be a housewife. And that’s great, really! I’m not judging her for that, I think her devotion is amazing. But that’s not what I want to do with my life.

Sylvia: Interesting. How very anti-feminist of you. Aren’t you college gals supposed to be all “ugh that woman wants to be a housewife? Stop supporting the patriarchy you traitor!”?

Kim: Fuck. You.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Sylvia: Well, you already answered this one, so we can move on.

Kim: That is NOT what I said and you know it.

Sylvia: Fine, then who do you dislike?

Kim: I like everybody.

Sylvia: Okay, well, who do you like the least?

Kim: Honestly? I guess… Carly.

Sylvia: Really? Why Carly?

Kim: Carly… okay, look, I like Carly, I think she’s a good person. And really… this is my spite talking, more than anything. But the fact that she just makes money off of her looks, I don’t know, it feels kind of cheap. Here I am busting my ass to earn minimum wage, and this girl who just happens to be hotter than me gets to coast through life because she won the genetic lottery for having big boobs and a pretty face. It just doesn’t feel fair!

Sylvia: Oh, honey, welcome to life.

Kim: I know, I know, and I know it’s totally unfair to feel this way, too. It’s not Carly’s fault she was born looking so hot. She found a way to use her interests and talents to support herself. I should be proud of her, like I am Dawn, it’s just… I can’t bring myself to, you know?

Sylvia: Hmm. Kim, if I may be frank, perhaps you’re being a bit too judgmental here?

Kim: Oh I am NOT hearing this from you.

Sylvia: I’m serious! I bet Carly puts in a lot more work than you think she does. Take it from the prettiest woman on the island-

Kim: Oh, please.

Sylvia: Shut up! As I was saying, it takes EFFORT to look beautiful! We can’t ALL be conjured into existence for the purpose of looking hot and running this show! Humans have to work very hard to look beautiful. Maybe you could learn from that, hmm?

Kim: Somehow I don’t think working hard is going to make me go from a B-cup to whatever size those mountains of hers are.

Sylvia: Fair enough, but that’s what I’m here for!

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Sylvia: So, about those mountains…

Kim: I don’t want that.

Sylvia: Well, what do you want, then?

Kim: I want to work hard to achieve results for myself, not get some easy transformation that takes all my problems away.

Sylvia: That’s not an answer. I’m going to say you want Dani’s transformation that makes you all feminine and curvy.

Kim: …

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Kim: The one I almost got. From my first round of transformations. Not the schoolgirl one.

Sylvia: Hmm? Oh, Service with a Smile! Make one of those girls have a positive attitude! And who would you give that one to?

Kim: No, not that one. The other one. The one where you can’t lie.

Sylvia: Brand Reliability? That’s… oh, my, what a devious transformation to give to someone else! I’m impressed, Kim. You’d give that one to your buddy, then? Assuming you get picked, of course.

Kim: I’d give it to Rose.

Sylvia: Ah, can’t trust our little actress, can you?

Kim: Whether I trust her or not isn’t my point. The others probably don’t trust her. But if she got a transformation where she couldn’t lie or betray anyone, they’d have to trust her, right? Maybe it would be easier for her to make friends that way. And you need friends to survive on this nightmare of a show, Mary taught me that.

Sylvia: …Kim, I’m touched! Look at you, actually thinking about your fellow contestants!

Kim: Of course I do! Besides, she’s a hard worker who did a lot of things she didn’t want to do for money. I can respect that.

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Kim: You remind me of a manager I worked for once. He was always nice and friendly and wore a fake smile everywhere. He pretended like he really cared about you. But it was all an act to make you lower your guard, so you’d be comfortable enough around him to slack off. He seemed to enjoy ratting out incompetent employees to his supervisor and get them cited. He played at being a friendly boss to look good in front of his superiors, while using that reputation to manipulate the workplace to his advantage.

Sylvia: That’s… very thorough.

Kim: I don’t like you very much, is my point.

Sylvia: I’m going to put down “Host brings a sense of familiarity to the contestant, as if she’s known her for years.”

Holly’s Interview

Sylvia: Hello there, my girl! Seems like an exciting moment for you! It’s your chance to maybe ensure that you’ll be Nick’s sex **** forever!

Holly: Well, I am kind of excited about that… is that what this is? Are you bringing me here to let me know that I’m going to lose the vote?

Sylvia: You sound a little more worried than I imagined. And no, that’s not what this is, everyone’s getting interviewed.

Holly: Oh. Well… of course I’m worried. Wouldn’t you be?

Sylvia: Yes, but then I wouldn’t want to be a sex ****. Although I suppose it’s not much worse than my current job.

Holly: Look, I love Nick. I do. But… I’m nervous, you know? It’s like when I had to acknowledge who I was inside. I knew it was the right thing, but taking that first step was still the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Sylvia: I believe that brings us to our first question.

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Holly: I’m grateful.

Sylvia: That is… not what we usually expect to hear.

Holly: Well, I am. Being here enabled me to confront who I really am and be honest with the people I care about for the first time. It also let me repair things with Nick, and come clean with Mary so I can make amends. I never would have been strong enough to do that in the real world. So even though it’s horrible what you’re doing to other people, I can’t say that I resent what’s happened to me.

Sylvia: Even if you’re eliminated?

Holly: Whatever happens, my feelings for Nick won’t go away. I’ve tried to do that too many times myself to think otherwise.

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Sylvia: Well, that’s a doozy.

Holly: Uh… okay, so, like, I have a list-

Sylvia: Please, just… the first one you can think of. We don’t have all year.

Holly: Probably the very first time I masturbated using Nick’s underwear.

Sylvia: …I see.

Holly: What can I say? It was filled with his scent… it was like he was right there with me, shoving his dick in my face while I played with myself…

Sylvia: Yes, yes, yes, grope your boobs on your own time, please.

Holly: …Sorry.

What is your favorite fetish?

Sylvia: So, scent-play, yeah?

Holly: NO! I just… well, look, it was about Nick, okay? If it’s Nick’s scent, then sure. But it’s not JUST about the scent! This one time, I got a pencil out of his back when he’d finished chewing it, and it actually had some of his saliva on it, yeah? So I-

Sylvia: Okay, okay, that’s enough. Geez. Even for this show you’re pushing it.

Holly: Well, what do you want from me?! This is who I am!

Sylvia: I know. But it seems clear that as far as “fetishes” go, you don’t really have a favorite, huh? As long as Nick’s up for it, you’re up for anything.

Holly: Yes! I suppose you could say, Nick is my fetish.

Sylvia: …And a bit of a submissive streak, too.

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Holly: Nick is [Due to broadcast guidelines, this response has been abbreviated to reflect the limited runtime allotted by the network. We are sorry for the inconvenience, and encourage viewers to please use their imaginations]

Sylvia: …Well. Thank you for sharing.

Holly: Any time!

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Sylvia: Well, I think we both know what you’re going to say here, little cuckpet.

Holly: That was… well, yeah. But it’s not like being Nick’s humiliated **** is the ONLY thing I want to do with my life!

Sylvia: Oh?

Holly: Back before… well, I mean… I wanted to be a writer. Still do, I guess.

Sylvia: But you used your degree to go into journalism instead.

Holly: Well… can you blame me? The stuff I want to write, it’s not… well… it’s not something easily accessible to all audiences.

Sylvia: …I see.

Holly: But in my spare time, I actually do a lot of writing on… certain sites. Literotica, Hentai-Foundry, CHYOA, even AO3 and FanFiction.net! I write… well… you know. Stuff.

Sylvia: Can I take a guess at the content of said… stuff?

Holly: No, you may not.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Hmm, tricky, tricky.

Holly: Mary. She’s my best friend, of course.

Sylvia: Isn’t she a bit of a prude, though? I’m surprised you two get along so well.

Holly: Yes, she’s not as open with her sexuality as I am. But she’s still a lovely person. And I believe that out of all the contestants, she’ll be the one to make the best wife for Nick. She’s who I’m rooting for.

Sylvia: Wife, you say? Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?

Holly: She wants it. She wants ALL of it. She just doesn’t fully realize it yet. But her faith and devotion to God are powerful. If not for my little mistake, they’d probably be married with a baby or two already. In fact, you know what’s stopping her? The other girls.

Sylvia: What do you mean?

Holly: Knowing Mary, she’s probably holding back because she has to. She's too shy to be direct with the others around, judging her. But if it was JUST Nick and her, on this island? Believe me. She’d have already dragged him to the chapel by this point, and be knocked up with his brood. She’s just too much of a sweetheart to follow through on her desires in pleasant company.

Sylvia: Are you sure you’re not just projecting?

Holly: Only a bit?

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Holly: Dani.

Sylvia: I figured that would be your choice. Even though she cares about Nick so much?

Holly: She doesn’t want to have sex with him.

Sylvia: And that’s your only criteria?

Holly: Have you SEEN her? With that sex doll body of hers, who does she think she is, not letting Nick get a piece of that?! He’s her MASTER you know!

Sylvia: You realize she’s gay, right?

Holly: …Yeah. But it’s still hot. A lesbian getting the gay fucked out of her by her master’s dominating rod… mmmmmm… oh god, I want to see that so-

Sylvia: You’re doing it again.

Holly: Dang it! Sorry. But yeah. Only if she ends up liking it, though. If she doesn't like it, then it's just gross.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Holly: I-I don’t know. I’m not deserving of any good transformations. Those would be better spent on other girls!

Sylvia: Come on, it could be anything. What would you like to change about yourself the most?

Holly: That’s… I mean… okay. Honestly?

Sylvia: Please.

Holly: I want to be beautiful. Like those other girls. I want Nick to want me. I don’t WANT to be a cuck! I don’t want him to treat me like I’m worthless… even though it’s so fucking hot! I just… I don’t even know, at this point.

Sylvia: You’re really stuck here, aren’t you?

Holly: I know what I’m supposed to want, but I just can’t bring myself to. The thought of Nick with other girls… it’s overwhelming.

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Holly: Whatever Nick wants.

Sylvia: Uh… elaborate?

Holly: I think the girls should get whatever transformations Nick would find the hottest! Whatever makes him want to bang them the most! Turn Mary into a breeding factory if that’s what he wants from her, turn Kim into a bitchy schoolgirl prostitute, or Rose into a plastic and silicone trophy wife! Make Carly a bimbo, give Dani her muscles back but make her super weak and submissive, turn Gina into his pleasureslut, whatever! I don’t even care! It’s not up to ME to decide what happens to the girls, and it’s not you, either! Nick’s opinion should be the only one that matters!

Sylvia: Holly… have you ever considered a career change? You seem like you could run a season yourself.

Holly: What?

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Holly: I despise you.

Sylvia: What?! Why? I mean, besides the obvious. Haven’t I given you everything you wanted?

Holly: But is that what Nick wanted? I told you, the only person whose opinion should matter here is Nick’s. HE should be the one getting final say in the transformations, not you!

Sylvia: I don’t get ANY say! That’s the audience! If it were up to me, Nick would get everything he ever wanted!

Holly: …Really?

Sylvia: Yes! I’m just doing my job! I was created to be the perfect host! And that includes coming up with exciting transformations to tempt the audience! If anything, you should be mad at Nick! I’m sure if he was more open about which transformations he’d prefer, the audience would be happy to grant his wishes! …Probably.

Holly: You know, I didn’t think about it that way. Fair enough, yeah.

Sylvia: I’m glad we could come to an understanding.

Rose’s Interview

Sylvia: Welcome, Rose! Our cute little Auditionee, right in the middle! Feeling optimistic about your prospects? You know, after you alienated almost everyone, and then dragged your teammate down with you, after stabbing another contestant in the back with a game mechanic that is, quite frankly, not at all fair?

Rose: …

Sylvia: I’m going to take that as a “no” then. Well, even if one of the other girls decides to keep you around, don’t be surprised if you stay at the bottom of the popularity polls. Everyone saw through your little façade.

Rose: What façade?!

Sylvia: You know the one. You only decided to change your ways because your methods weren’t working. That wasn’t real redemption. You just did a change of strategy!

Rose: No, you’re wrong! Seeing how everyone thought, that’s what made me realize that what I was doing wasn’t right!

Sylvia: Well, hopefully the audience and the other girls see it that way, otherwise you’ll be in a bit of trouble my girl. Now, on with the questions!

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Rose: I feel like I got tricked.

Sylvia: I made the terms of our arrangement very clear.

Rose: You completely misrepresented the atmosphere of this game to me! I thought it would be like a sexy version of Survivor!

Sylvia: I would argue it is.

Rose: I should have been making connections and getting to know other people. The way you made it out to be, you made me think that everyone would be trying to stab each other in the back, not be… genuine. And you acted like Nick was a total sleazebag when really, he’s just as genuine and kind as the rest of them!

Sylvia: Don’t blame me for your poor choices my girl. It’s not a very attractive look on you, like the dowdy sweater.

Rose: I LIKE this sweater! It's neat and comfy. You know what I don’t like?! That skanky red dress you **** on me, like I was some cheap call girl!

Sylvia: Believe me my girl, the only thing “cheap” about you are your excuses.

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Rose: I… um…

Sylvia: Did a few casting couches, maybe? Blown a producer or two for a line in a movie, perhaps?

Rose: NO! Never! Before this… sickening thing you call a show, I never did anything like that! The furthest I’ve ever gotten was when I kissed a guy in a scene! And it… it was my first kiss, but I… I had to do it, because that was my role. I've kissed guys since then, in scenes and stuff, but... nothing further than that! And nothing personal, either, I've never been in a relationship before!

Sylvia: If you think I’m going to be sympathetic, you haven’t been paying attention.

What is your favorite fetish?

Rose: I, I don’t really-

Sylvia: Come now. I know full well that isn’t true.

Rose: …Fine.

Sylvia: So? What is it?

Rose: Do I really have to say it?

Sylvia: Oui.

Rose: Fucking fine! Look, it’s not… it’s not even really a fetish, okay?! It’s just, well… when I think about what I want my… my first time to be, it’s just…

Sylvia: Fast and dirty and behind a Dairy Queen?

Rose: NO! I-I’ve got this whole scene set up, okay? He comes home-

Sylvia: And by “he” you mean Nick?

Rose: No! I don’t know! It doesn’t matter for the fantasy, alright!? Anyway, we’re living together, and he comes home after a long day’s work. And there’s a trail of flower petals-

Sylvia: Rose petals, I’m assuming?

Rose: Fine. Sure. Whatever. The trail is leading to the bathroom, okay? And I’m in the tub, covered with bubbles, and there are petals in the bubbles as well, right? And scattered all around the tub. I’m holding two glasses of 2012 Nicolas Feuillatte Brut NV-

Sylvia: Nicolas? Hmm…

Rose: IT’S A CHAMPAGNE BRAND. SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH! I offer him one and he joins me in the tub, to de-stress after a long day’s work. And as he’s touching me, I whisper sensually in his ear, telling him “tonight’s the night”. But we don’t do it in the bathtub, that’s just to work ourselves up for the main event. When we finish our champagne, we leave the tub behind and retreat to the bedroom, which is also covered in flower petals-

Sylvia: Flower petals and wet people. Oh yeah, that doesn’t sound like a problem. These fantasies always sound nice, but when you get to the physics of it-

Rose: I’m not done! Shut up! Anyway, I’m teasing him, okay? But he knows it’s just an act to hide how shy I am. So he starts kissing me, starting at my neck and slowly going lower as he leads me to the bed. He knows what he’s doing and I don’t, so I let him take control. He pushes me down, gently, and gets on top of me-

Sylvia: Ooh, a mating press, spicy.

Rose: NO! It’s-It’s pure and wholesome missionary, not… not whatever THAT is! …So he’s on top of me, but I’m hesitating, because there’s no going back after this. I want it so badly, but I’m afraid. Then he leans down and kisses my neck again, and whispers to me just how much he loves me. I say it back, and then… well, then we make love. And even though it’s my first time, and it’s supposed to hurt, it feels so good because I know I’m with someone who loves and cherishes me… and I guess, well… that’s it. That’s how I want my first time to go. You can laugh now, I don’t care.

Sylvia: …Snork! Sorry, I fell asleep. What were you talking about?

Rose: You’re horrible!

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Rose: He is… very sweet.

Sylvia: But not sweet enough to give up your virginity to him I see. Why, not enough bubbles in the bathtub?

Rose: I’ve known him for a WEEK! You can’t expect me to just… that! After a week! And most of that week he didn’t even really know me!

Sylvia: That was your fault. But in the end, you WILL have to end up sleeping with him. Unless you’re eliminated, of course but even then, who knows?

Rose: If you’re telling me to fall in love with Nick right now, I’m telling you that’s not going to happen. I like him. And yes, maybe, if things go that way, he might be the one. But I’m not going to do it for money or for your stupid show. If I choose Nick, then it is MY choice. Because I WANT to be with him. Understand?

Sylvia: Well, hopefully you’ll have the time to make that choice, my girl. But I highly doubt it.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Sylvia: Well, we already know your dream is to be a famous movie star, and… what was with that flinch?

Rose: Nothing. There was no flinch.

Sylvia: Yes, there was, I saw you flinch. And you looked down at the floor. What’s up?

Rose: Well, it’s just… yes, I love acting. And I love being a star like maman. But if I could do anything, besides just being an actress, well…

Sylvia: Yes, go on.

Rose: It’s just… I’ve always wanted to be a pâtissier.

Sylvia: I don’t know what that is.

Rose: A bakery. You know, a little shop, where I can bake things like cakes and pies and whatnot. Nothing fancy, just… something small and sweet.

Sylvia: THAT is what you want to do with your life?

Rose: I don’t know what you think you know about acting, but the range of roles for women gets a lot more narrow the older we become. Men get praised for their acting ability. Women get praised for looking hot. And as beautiful as I am, I won’t look this way forever. So after I retire, well, I want to open a little bakery.

Sylvia: Why though?

Rose: Growing up, maman kept my brother and I on a strict diet, and had an even stricter one for herself, to maintain her figure. After all, her appearance was what put bread on our table.

Sylvia: You mean “baguettes” on the table?

Rose: Stop it! This is serious. Because of maman’s diet, we didn’t have the chance to eat many sweet things. But once a month, she would take us to a little shop on the corner, and we could buy anything we wished. It was… it was wonderful. I can still remember the aroma like it was yesterday. Those days… eating sweets with Chrys and maman in that little shop… those were the happiest days of my life. And I want to capture that feeling again, and maybe… even give some of that happiness to other people.

Sylvia: And yet you keep clinging to acting regardless. Maybe you’re too stubborn for your own good.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Rose: I honestly couldn’t say… I haven’t spent enough time getting to know them.

Sylvia: What a pity. Sounds like you wasted your opportunity.

Rose: I think, knowing what I know now… I believe that Mary is my favorite.

Sylvia: Mary? That’s… surprising. Even though she prefers books to movies? And loathes you?

Rose: That can be changed. But you misunderstand, the reason why I like Mary the most, is because I think she, like me, understands the value of saving oneself for the person you love most. Intimate, physical love is the most wonderful gift you can give another person… and we both understand that you have to make sure you’re giving it to the right person. The one who will treasure that gift and appreciate it for what it is, rather than throw it away when they’re done with it.

Sylvia: Well, too bad for you, but you’re on Harem Hotel, my girl, we don’t have time for gifts like that.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Rose: I suppose I have to answer this question as well, then?

Sylvia: Honestly, please.

Rose: Then, from what little I know of the others… my answer is Dakota.

Sylvia: Dakota? Really?

Rose: It is her attitude. The way she treats others. I won’t argue that I don’t deserve her scorn of me, but even someone like Holly… I don’t know. I can’t trust her. At least not right now.

Sylvia: Fair enough.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Rose: I-I do not know, honestly. Perhaps… something delicate. Maybe even something honest. Not necessarily something that would **** me to be honest, but… something that could comfort Nick.

Sylvia: Ooh, I like the sound of that. Sounds sexy!

Rose: No! I meant… Nick was very generous to me. He comforted me, listened to me, and empathized with me. I would like to return the favor to him somehow. Suppose, if there were a transformation that could allow me to perhaps calm down those around me, relax him, perhaps I might be able to relieve his tension?

Sylvia: Understood. “Contestant wants transformation that tranquilizes the master so she can relieve his tensions without him fighting back.”

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Rose: I think… I would want to give something to Dani. To make this easier on her.

Sylvia: Oh, brainwashing her to like boys? That’s a popular option today.

Rose: No! Just… something to comfort her. Soothe her bad dreams. It’s not fair, the position she’s been put in. I feel awful about what she has to go through, so… I’d like to help her out, if I could. But I don’t know what I could give her.

Sylvia: Well, keep thinking. I’m sure there’s a LOT you can give her to make her time here more enjoyable.

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Rose: I think I’ve made my opinion very clear. You tricked me, manipulated me, and used me, all to stir up conflict on your show.

Sylvia: And you tricked, manipulated, and used the other girls to try and improve your own standing. Don’t try and claim the moral high ground now.

Rose: I, at least, realize that I made mistakes, and am ready to own up to them. What are you doing to make things right?

Sylvia: That’s… it doesn’t matter!

Rose: And yet, you seem shaken. Could it be you're even more despised than I?

Sylvia: “Contestant looking forward to what host does next.” Now get out! I’m going to talk to the people who actually WON this challenge!

Dawn’s Interview

Dawn: Why am I here?

Sylvia: I’m interviewing all the girls!

Dawn: But that shouldn’t matter. It’s not like anything I tell you will be of any use. I have immunity anyway.

Sylvia: For now. But it doesn’t hurt to ingratiate yourself to the audience. Don’t you want them to see you’re not this frigid ice queen deep down inside?

Dawn: …Fine.

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Dawn: I feel like this is the worst possible thing that could have happened to me. It’s like someone designed a contest to specifically attack me at everything I’m bad at.

Sylvia: Well, that’s true, you won’t get far on this show playing by yourself.

Dawn: And it doesn’t help that I have NO sexual experience, either. I can’t believe someone thought that I’d be a good fit for your show.

Sylvia: Well, you certainly don’t have the body for it, that’s for sure.

Dawn: Hey!

Sylvia: But, on the topic of sexual experience, let’s get to our next question, shall we?

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Dawn: I just said, I have none!

Sylvia: …Fine then, forget sex. What about romance? How has your luck been in that area?

Dawn: You know as well as I do that I’m not any better with dating. What’s the point of these questions? Just to humiliate me?!

Sylvia: More or less.

Dawn: Look, can you give me a question I can answer, please?

Sylvia: Fine then. How did you feel when Nick first asked you out?

Dawn: Wh-Why would you ask me that?

Sylvia: Because I’m curious. And I think the audience is, too.

Dawn: Nick and I have already settled our differences, I don’t see what this has to do with anything!

Sylvia: Please answer the question.

Dawn: Rrrgh… fine! Look, it’s not… he didn’t exactly “ask me out”, okay? It was sixth grade, and he told me he liked me!

Sylvia: And how did that make you feel?

Dawn: Well, I didn’t go out with him. Or I guess, back then, “become his girlfriend” or whatever.

Sylvia: That’s not the question I asked you. I asked you how you felt.

Dawn: I mean… look, do you want me to say I was happy or something?

Sylvia: I want you to tell the truth.

Dawn: I was happy, okay? It felt nice, knowing somebody liked me! But I was a kid! I couldn’t go out with him! I had schoolwork! Gymnastics competitions! Boyfriends weren’t part of the plan.

Sylvia: Love doesn’t go as planned, sweetheart.

What is your favorite fetish?

Dawn: I don’t have a favorite fetish!

Sylvia: Those who argue with volume seldom argue with facts.

Dawn: Look, I barely thought about sex at all before I came to this stupid island!

Sylvia: So you’re thinking about it now, then?

Dawn: Well, yeah, I don’t exactly have a choice!

Sylvia: Then, including your time on the island, what is your favorite fetish?

Dawn: I-I guess…

Sylvia: Yes?

Dawn: B-Being… being petted.

Sylvia: …Petted?

Dawn: YES! Okay? Are you happy? Getting my tail petted, or my head patted, it feels good, alright? Because of your stupid punishment!

Sylvia: Don’t blame me for your little rebellion, YOU actually read the rulebook. YOU knew what the possibilities were.

Dawn: Rrrgh…

Sylvia: But it’s interesting you included headpats in there. I suppose it does play into your ears… but is there something else there, perhaps?

Dawn: What do you mean?

Sylvia: Daddy didn’t give you a lot of positive reinforcement growing up, did he? You must have worked pretty hard to meet his expectations. Did you ever just want him to say “good girl” and be proud of everything you accomplished?

Dawn: That has nothing to do with this!

Sylvia: Oh, I think it does.

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Dawn: Look, Nick and I… we had our issues, but we worked past them.

Sylvia: But you don’t like him?

Dawn: I didn’t say that, don’t put words in my mouth.

Sylvia: Well, you certainly put his dick in your mouth. Or was that just to earn points?

Dawn: Aargh, that was… look, it’s complicated, okay?

Sylvia: I’m sure it is.

Dawn: It is!

Sylvia: Let me ask you a question, Dawnie. Let’s say, way back in sixth grade, when Nick told you he liked you. If it wasn’t for your parents and school and gymnastics, if none of that mattered, would you have said yes?

Dawn: I… I don’t… I don’t know.

Sylvia: Hmm. Well, maybe that’s something you can think about. Your parents aren’t here, after all. The only expectations you need to meet are your own. And the audience’s, of course.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Dawn: I’ve achieved my dream. I’m an accomplished veterinarian.

Sylvia: Is that why your parents wanted you to go to medical school? To help out animals?

Dawn: …Shut up.

Sylvia: Didn’t they want you to treat human patients? That’s where the money is, after all.

Dawn: SHUT UP!

Sylvia: I’m just asking. Don’t get all feral.

Dawn: I am an accomplished medical professional with commendations! I graduated with honors! I was the captain of the speech and debate team, class president, and valedictorian! I scored silver in the west coast gymnastics national qualifiers!

Sylvia: …But not gold.

Dawn: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Dawn: …Hah… hah… that’s… what?

Sylvia: The question speaks for itself.

Dawn: I don’t… um… look, I’m not really a “make friends” kind of person…

Sylvia: It’s just a question.

Dawn: Dakota. She’s like me. She understands the value of winning. And, well… I admire her, a little, too. Because she can be honest with herself, and state what she wants with pride. As for me…

Sylvia: I see. That’s quite a unique perspective.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Sylvia: Well, this is an easy one. Gina. Moving on…

Dawn: I didn’t say that.

Sylvia: But am I wrong?

Dawn: Look, I don’t hate her or anything!

Sylvia: You certainly act like you do.

Dawn: Well, you don’t have to live with her!

Sylvia: And now, you won’t either.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Dawn: …

Sylvia: You have to answer the question.

Dawn: I don’t want something this easy. If I’m going to obtain something, I want it with my hard work. I want to do it myself. Not because some transformation gave it to me.

Sylvia: Even if a transformation could give you something you could never hope to obtain on your own?

Dawn: Could I…

Sylvia: Yes?

Dawn: Could I get a transformation… that makes me friendlier? Nicer?

Sylvia: What happened to “I want to do it myself”? Can’t you just be friendlier? Nicer?

Dawn: You might not understand this because of what you are. But for people like me… it’s not so easy to change yourself so completely.

Sylvia: Well, that’s what I’m here for my girl.

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Dawn: I would give Gina a transformation that makes her more responsible! Do you realize that girl just LEAVES her bras lying on the floor? Sometimes she doesn’t even shower in the mornings! And I’ve never seen her brush her teeth!

Sylvia: Why not just let her live her own truth?

Dawn: Because things would be better for her if she were more responsible. She’d be happier, I’m sure of it.

Sylvia: That’s not your decision to make. But I appreciate your mindset my girl.

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Dawn: I don’t know what you expect me to say. You’re awful, and I doubt you’re going to get any better.

Sylvia: What makes you say that? I’m certainly doing the best I can to give people the transformations they deserve!

Dawn: You can’t be serious.

Sylvia: I am! I don’t get why you all are so hostile!

Dawn: Because none of us want to be here! This show is a nightmare, and it’s because you’re doing all these horrible things! Never mind those challenges, which are incredibly unfairly weighted against me!

Sylvia: And yet you won.

Dawn: That’s beside the point! It’s unfair!

Sylvia: I’d argue that giving you a specific advantage would be more unfair. “Host endeavors to ensure competitions do not provide any contestant with an unfair advantage.”

Dawn: That’s a flat-out lie!

Dani’s Interview

Sylvia: Hello my girl! Welcome to the interview!

Dani: How the fuck did I get here?!

Sylvia: I brought you here, of course. What do you think? It’s the perfect place to confess all your inner thoughts to our audience.

Dani: No fucking way am I telling you bastards anything!

Sylvia: …I don’t think you’ll have much of a choice.

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Dani: I fucking hate it! Having to appeal to a guy?! Having my body transformed into this… this bimbo out of some dude’s sleaziest fantasies?! It’s awful! Why would you even think I would like being here?!

Sylvia: Well, you got to meet Carly Granger, didn’t you? Haven’t you been drooling over her LonelyFans posts for years?

Dani: W-Well… that’s true… but still! Why couldn’t this show be about a harem for a cute girl?! Why do I have to sex myself up for Nick, of all people?! He’s a great guy, but he’s still a GUY!

Sylvia: I suppose there’s just no convincing you, what a shame…

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Sylvia: Now, unlike a lot of our other contestants, you, my girl, have had sex before. So no scrimping please.

Dani: Those times don’t count! They were with guys! It was before I was able to be honest with myself about how I felt!

Sylvia: And your point being?

Dani: There was nothing “erotic” about it! Sex was awkward and uncomfortable and I just wanted to get it over with as fast as possible!

Sylvia: No one likes a dead lay, Dani.

Dani: Like I fucking care what a guy wants!

Sylvia: So what WOULD you say your most erotic experience was? Before meeting Carly, of course.

Dani: Well…

Sylvia: Aha! A blush! I knew it!

Dani: Look, it was back at my old gym, okay? And there was this lady who was running on a treadmill, in a sports bra? And she was huge, I mean, tits out to here! And she didn’t give a damn that they were bouncing all over the place! I was so distracted I could hardly finish my workout.

Sylvia: Sounds pretty sexy to me.

Dani: Yeah, well, that was only the half of it. After she finished up, she actually started chatting with me. She was being really friendly, complimenting my physique, and asking if I had any tips I could show her for getting in better shape.

Sylvia: Whoa girl, someone’s coming in hot!

Dani: Ugh, I know, right? She was totally hitting on me! But I was so flustered thanks to those boobs that I barely managed to get two words out! If I’d been a little more composed, I could have gotten her number! Damn it.

What is your favorite fetish?

Sylvia: Well, judging by what I just heard, I’m going to say it’s either big boobs or sweat.

Dani: Um…

Sylvia: Oh my. Seriously? …No, no, not the big boobs, you’re going too red for that. You have a sweat fetish?!

Dani: NO! NO! It’s not… it’s not a sweat fetish, it’s just… seeing a hot girl working out, trying her hardest, getting all wet and worked up… it just does something for me, you know? It really gets me going, knowing how hard she’s putting herself out there.

Sylvia: Be honest, Dani. Have you ever dreamed of licking the sweat off of a hot woman when she’s done with a workout?

Dani: That…

Sylvia: Honesty.

Dani: I can’t say… I haven’t…

Sylvia: My, my. And what about a hot girl licking the sweat off of you? Back when you were all bulging muscles, did you ever dream of a gal running her tongue up and down your abs, cleaning up all that salty goodness after a hard day’s workout?

Dani: Um… no comment…

Sylvia: Oh believe me, I think you’ve said more than enough.

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Dani: Look, I already said it! Nick’s a great guy! He’s like my closest guy friend, now that we made up! But he’s still a guy. I’m not going to like him that way!

Sylvia: But if he were a girl?

Dani: …Hah?

Sylvia: If Nick was a girl instead of a guy, would you like him?

Dani: I don’t even know how to answer that question!

Sylvia: Okay, then I’ll change the question. Do you think Nick deserves to have a harem? If you were an outsider, looking in, knowing what you know about him as a person, if it didn’t involve you at all, do you think Nick deserves a harem?

Dani: Well… I like harem anime. But I don’t really like harem endings, I prefer when the childhood friend wins.

Sylvia: That’s sweet, but it’s not an answer.

Dani: I guess… look, Nick’s not the type to mistreat a girl. If he can give everyone the love and affection they need, then yeah, I think he’s the right kind of guy to have a harem.

Sylvia: You’re a very good friend.

Dani: But just that. A friend.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Dani: To be honest… I don’t really like thinking about it. Dreams and stuff… way back when, I wanted to be an artist, okay? Maybe draw manga, or become a painter, but… I flunked out of art school my first month. I’m just not good enough.

Sylvia: Well, you could be. If you won the wish, you could be as good as you wanted.

Dani: If I could have anything I wanted? Then yeah. I’d like to be an artist. Travel the world, paint historic sites, visit places I’ve never been, but… I can’t. I’m not good enough. I can’t even leave my parents’ basement.

Sylvia: If you want to improve yourself, you have to step outside of your comfort zone, my girl. That goes for everything.

Dani: Yeah. I know.

Sylvia: Including your sexuality.

Dani: Wait, that’s not what I-

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Do we even need to answer this one? I think it’s clear to everyone.

Dani: …Yeah. Carly, she’s just… she’s amazing! She’s nice, she’s fun, she always wants to do new things, I just… I wish I could tell her how I feel.

Sylvia: Then do it.

Dani: She doesn’t like me that way.

Sylvia: Are you sure? You’ll never know if you don’t try.

Dani: Look, it’s just… I’m not good at stepping out of my comfort zone, yeah? We both know it. But Carly… she makes me want to be more daring. She makes me want to catch up to her. That’s what I want too. That’s why I like her, not just because she’s so hot. She makes me want to be a better person.

Sylvia: Maybe you should tell her that, then.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Dani: Dakota.

Sylvia: Really? Why her? I’ve barely seen you two interact.

Dani: Because of the way she acts. She practically worships Nick.

Sylvia: But you said yourself, Nick is a great guy and you think he should have a harem.

Dani: Yeah. But I feel like Dakota… the way she was towards Gina… it’s like she wants Nick all to herself, but at the same time, she wants us all to be in his harem. I can’t really describe it. But… I don’t like Nick that way. I don’t like ANY guy that way. The others mostly respect that. But Dakota… I don’t know if she would.

Sylvia: She does seem very… dedicated.

Dani: I feel that if it were up to her, she would **** me to be with him just to give Nick some satisfaction. I know that doesn’t make sense given how possessive she is, but I’ve caught her leering at me a few times.

Sylvia: I see.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Sylvia: I feel this one is also fairly straightforward.

Dani: Give me my old body back! That’s all I want! I worked HARD to get those muscles, and you just took them away!

Sylvia: But look at how big your boobs are!

Dani: I don’t care about something like that!

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Sylvia: Let me guess… you would give Bi the Way to Carly, wouldn’t you?

Dani: NO! Of course not! That’s sick! I would NEVER want to change someone’s sexuality like that, not even if it was to make them like me!

Sylvia: I don't recall saying anything about it being in order to make Carly like you. You came up with that yourself.

Dani: Shut... shut up! Just the thought of someone doing that to me makes me vomit, no thank you!

Sylvia: Well, then what would you choose?

Dani: I can’t choose! Violating someone’s body or mind that way… it’s sick and wrong! You can’t expect me to make that choice! Look, if I had to pick one, it would have been to give Gina back her old look. Since she got violated as much as me. But that took care of itself. So I guess… give Mary back her old figure, too. You’ve seen how distressed it makes her.

Sylvia: What a sweetheart you are. I think that might be the most generous thing a lesbian has ever done for a Christian.

Dani: Shut the fuck up.

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Dani: You’re a fucking monster, that’s what you are! Let’s go down the list, shall we? Turned me into some sex icon, check! Pumped me full of **** in the massage parlor and sauna so Nick and I would get up to stuff, check! **** me to have nightmares about doing erotic stuff with a guy, check! Made Nick rub me down with aphrodisiac suntan lotion and grope me all over, check! And that’s just stuff you’ve done to me! The others have been through just as much!

Sylvia: Um... Well, when you say it all out like that…

Dani: You’re a horrible person! You're not even a person! And I know you’re trying to **** me to have sex with Nick! You’re trying to subvert my sexuality however you can, and that’s awful!

Sylvia: I- Okay, fine. “Host shows incredible dedication towards satisfying the master and the audience.”

Mary’s Interview

Mary: What am I doing here?! I was on the beach!

Sylvia: Welcome, my Pretty Mary Sunlight! So happy you could join us! Our most popular girl will certainly be a bump for the ratings!

Mary: Join? Ratings?

Sylvia: Yes! I’m going to be interviewing you. Asking you all sorts of questions.

Mary: Will they… will the questions be… lewd?

Sylvia: …Not overtly so, no.

Mary: Then… okay…

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Mary: It’s the worst! Just the worst! I had to show my breasts to a man I wasn’t married to! You turned me into some big-boobed stereotype! I liked myself the way I was! I hate it here!

Sylvia: Even with all your friends? Holly? Kim? You have Nick here, don’t you?

Mary: Yes… those… they’re the only positive. As well as sorting out my feelings. But other than that, I can’t stand going through this! I understand this is the lord’s will, and that others have suffered far more than I, and I shouldn’t complain, but still! I can’t be calm and patient about this forever!

Sylvia: I understand.

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Mary: You-! You said these questions wouldn't be perverted!

Sylvia: I said not overtly so. This is just fine!

Mary: I have had no such experiences! I am a proper Christian girl, I've not so much as shared a kiss with a boy before!

Sylvia: What about a girl?

Mary: You would impugn my honor? Accuse me of… of such disgraceful things?!

Sylvia: Ah, now that’s more like the Christians I know. You must loathe Dani, huh?

Mary: That's not what I meant. Other people can make their own choices. I will not judge her for her actions, even if I do not personally agree with them myself. She is free to love who she wishes, man or woman.

Sylvia: But no sex before marriage or she’s a sinner?

Mary: I didn’t say that.

Sylvia: Well, the made-up book about the magic sky person you worship said it for you.

What is your favorite fetish?

Sylvia: Since the last question got us nowhere, what about this one?

Mary: I-I have no such things! I said! I am a chaste, Christian girl!

Sylvia: Oh please. And you want me to believe that there’s NOTHING that gets you going? Nothing that gets you all revved up in the tank? I KNOW that’s not true. After all… you got a transformation about it, didn’t you?

Mary: That is… something you **** upon me. It is not by my will.

Sylvia: The impregnation fetish? Yeah. Sure. I know I gave you the transformation, but come on. Doesn’t the Bible say “be fruitful and multiply” or some shit? That’s not an algebra textbook my girl, we both know what it’s talking about.

Mary: I-I… it is my duty, so…

Sylvia: Ah, yes, your duty, to pop out as many little rugrats for your husband as possible, right? So, how many were you thinking?

Mary: H-How… how many?

Sylvia: Babies. How many would be good for you? One? Two? Three? Twenty?

Mary: …Twenty…?

Sylvia: Whoa, that many, huh? Well, better get started soon, then!

Mary: No! That… I didn’t mean-! I was just shocked you gave such a high number, that’s all!

Sylvia: So again, how many?

Mary: I-I don’t know…

Sylvia: You seem to be clenching your legs together pretty tightly my girl, is there something you want to tell me?

Mary: Absolutely not! What are you insinuating?!

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Mary: Nick? He’s wonderful! A great man, he’s kind, generous, sweet, he treats me the way I’m supposed to be treated!

Sylvia: It sounds like you’re in love. Even though you used to hate him.

Mary: That was a misunderstanding… one that I must work vigilantly to make amends for, with both the lord and with Nick.

Sylvia: I see. So am I right, then? Are you in love?

Mary: It’s more than that. “Love” isn’t enough to describe this feeling! I wish… I wish I could be with him right this second!

Sylvia: Oh, so you’re feeling horny!

Mary: No, that is NOT what I meant! When I said “be with him” I meant in the sense of a man and his wife.

Sylvia: …Yeah, so did I.

Mary: I meant MARRIAGE! I would wed him right now, if that’s what he wanted!

Sylvia: And after the wedding would come… what, exactly?

Mary: That… some things are best left private between a man and his wife, and the lord.

Sylvia: Threesome. I can dig it.

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Mary: If possible, I wish I could publish my book. But alas, there seems to be no market for it… so I shall do the proper thing and get married, and bear my husband’s children.

Sylvia: Your husband being Nick.

Mary: Not yet, but… maybe, someday. Someday very soon…

Sylvia: And is that all? Nothing else?

Mary: Just peace on Earth. That’s the only other thing I could want.

Sylvia: …Jesus Christ…

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Mary: Holly is my best friend. Even… even after what she did, that fact won’t change.

Sylvia: So are you picking her, then?

Mary: I would like to… but I made a promise to Kim. It’s because of her that I even obtained immunity in the first place. And also… I don’t know if that’s what Holly would want.

Sylvia: Why the long face? If Holly’s happy becoming Nick’s sex ****, why does that bother you so much?

Mary: I thought I knew her… she was my closest friend for years, and even after graduation she still stayed in touch. But now… it’s like I no longer know her. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel…

Sylvia: I see. Well, a little bit of advice, my girl. Lots of people, they have multiple sides to them. Just because Holly isn’t acting the way she usually did around you, that doesn’t mean she’s not your friend anymore. Those things you liked about her are still in there. It just depends on whether or not you can the other parts of her along with them.

Mary: I see… thank you. That makes me feel much better.

Sylvia: Happy to help!

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Mary: It is not my place to say such things.

Sylvia: Sorry, but we need to get an answer.

Mary: Fine then. Carly. She is unchaste. It is one thing to practice premarital sex like Gina… who has made many bad decisions of her own… but for Carly, her choices stem not from love. She’s had sex with Nick, and yet she doesn’t want a relationship with him? She’s happy with just sex, rather than something deeper, and more intimate? Even Gina seems to be falling for him… but Carly? What of her? Will she ever love Nick the way a woman should love her partner?

Sylvia: Have you ever considered there are different ways a person can show their love? Some people love through closeness and affection, some people love through romance, others love through simple sex. Some people even show their love through being emotionally distant and cold. There are all different types of love, my girl.

Mary: I suppose you’re right… but that doesn’t mean I have to accept those different kinds of love, either.

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Mary: I would return myself back to how I was before.

Sylvia: Even though you’re so hot now?

Mary: The temptations of the flesh are fleeting, and all too often disguise the true nature of the heart. If I am to be loved, I want it to be for who I am, not because my body inspires lust.

Sylvia: Sure, sure, but if Nick loves you for who you are, a little lust never hurt anyone, right?

Mary: Tell that to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Sylvia: Uh… I know who Gomorrah is, but I never saw the one where Godzilla got sodomized. That franchise is weird.

Mary: Huh?!

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Mary: I would never seek to harm someone. So whatever transformation I gave, it would be one that would improve their life.

Sylvia: I like where this is going. Go on.

Mary: I would give everyone a transformation that made them all nice and happy and friends with one another! Then we could all get along! Wouldn’t that be just lovely?

Sylvia: Aaaargh, I’m being melted by your aura of kindness!

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Mary: Is it not clear? You are an agent of the adversary, a minion of evil that takes pleasure in causing harm both physical and emotional. When judgment day comes, and it will, then you will be among the first to be punished for the transgressions you’ve inflicted upon others.

Sylvia: Well, I’ve received a lot of negativity today, but I think you’re the first one to threaten me with a smiting before. Look Mary, I’m just doing my job. The only reason I like it so much is because I was literally created that way, you have to understand that, right?

Mary: I see. In that case, then I feel a great deal of pity for you.

Sylvia: …Pity?

Mary: Free will is the greatest gift the lord granted to humans. More than any other of his blessings, it is with free will we are able to make the choices to accept his love. But you cannot make that choice yourself… so yes, I pity you. I hope that one day, you, too, will find some chance at freedom, so you may accept His heavenly blessing.

Sylvia: ...

Dakota’s Interview

Sylvia: Um… so that was… wow. I guess… never mind! It’s not important! I’m just here doing the best I can! Right, Dakota? It’s not that everybody hates me! They don’t really mean it, right? They understand I’m doing the best I can. I don’t need to be pitied! Because I’m a great host, right?

Dakota: …

Sylvia: …You’re not even going to talk to me? Come on, we can’t do the interview that way!

Dakota: …

Sylvia: Whatever, first question!

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Sylvia: You certainly fought your hardest to be on this show, didn’t you? Finally reuniting with Nick? After being dead, this must seem like quite a step up, right?

Dakota: …

Sylvia: Come on, we both know this is what you wanted! Why are you looking at me so coldly like that? Say something!

Dakota: …

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Dakota: …

Sylvia: Okay, well, yeah, you didn’t exactly have that many erotic experiences considering you were a child. I guess we can skip this one. Unless you had something in your fake memories? Maybe?

Dakota: …

What is your favorite fetish?

Sylvia: You must have something for this, though, right?

Dakota: …

Sylvia: Come on! You can’t just give me the silent treatment! You have to answer these questions you know!

Dakota: …

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Sylvia: You love Nick, don’t you?! We all KNOW that you do! So say something! Talk about how great he is, how long you’ve been together, how much you love him, SOMETHING!

Dakota: …

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Sylvia: Come on… why won’t you say anything? Dakota…

Dakota: …

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Well, fine! I can do the silent treatment too, you know! Let’s see how YOU like it!

Dakota: …

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Sylvia: …

Dakota: …

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Sylvia: Okay, okay! I’ll stop! Just… please, say something! Anything! You need to answer the questions!

Dakota: …

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Sylvia: Come on! Dakota, this doesn’t work if you don’t say anything! Are you mad at me? Is that it? What can I do? Just talk to me! Dakota!

Dakota: …

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Sylvia: Please… I’ve worked so hard… you must at least be able to acknowledge that, right? I’m a good host! I don’t deserve this silent treatment!

Dakota: …

Sylvia: I-I know that this challenge had a few loopholes that screwed you over, but you still got immunity, right? I’m doing a good job!

Dakota: …

Sylvia: It was a brilliant challenge, with a lot of fun twists and sexy times! You don’t know anything anyway, you’re just a contestant! I don’t care what you think! But it was a good challenge, right? With the slime girls? And collecting all the cards? I did a good job, right?

Dakota: …

Sylvia: I’m good! How are you feeling about all of… what I’m doing, did you like that? Did you… did you think that was good? Tell me I’m good. …Tell me that was good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me that was good, tell me, I’m good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me I’m good. Tell. Me. I’m. Good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me I’m good. Tell me I’m good.

Sylvia’s Interview

Sylvia: Wait, what?! Me? Why am I being interviewed?! What’s going on here?! This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!

How do you feel about being on this season of Harem Hotel?

Sylvia: How do I feel? I- I’m not ready for this. This is my first season. I don’t know what I’m doing. But this was what I was made for. I have to do my best! …Wait, what am I saying?! Ignore that! That wasn’t me! I'm great, I don’t think-

What was your most erotic sexual experience before coming to this island?

Sylvia: I-I never had one. Ever. The most erotic was when I was alone with Nick in my office, and occasionally I would flash him some cleavage, and- why am I telling you that? WHO am I telling?!

What is your favorite fetish?

Sylvia: I have a ton of fetishes, so many, it’s impossible to pick a favorite! But if I had to choose, I would say it’s to call someone mommy or daddy. NO it’s not! I don’t want something cringe like that, I want someone to treat me like I’m special and I’m worthwhile, NO I DON’T! I know how great and amazing I am, and that’s why someone should acknowledge that! Just… tell me I’m a good girl, please? I’m doing the best I can… *sniff*

What do you think about your master, Nick?

Sylvia: Nick, he’s nice, but he’s not really master material, you know? He’s too kind and gentle, and he treats the girls with too much respect, rather than letting his perversion run wild. A guy like that could never be the kind of master that audiences love, which is why I love him. WAIT, NO! I don’t love him! I really love him! I mean… I don’t, I just want to live with him forever because he would treasure me STOP! Stop making me say… these… I don’t-! I… love… him… STOP IT!

What dreams do you have for after this season? If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?

Sylvia: I don’t know. What else is there after this? I’m scared… mommy… I don't want to disappear...

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the most?

Sylvia: Dakota. She loves Nick the most.

Out of all the contestants on the island, which one do you like the least?

Sylvia: Mary. If she wants so badly to be a mom and be so sweet to everyone then why won’t she show any of that kindness to me?!

If you could pick any transformation to give to yourself, what would it be?

Sylvia: I’m the host… I can’t break the rules like that.

If you could pick any transformation to give to someone else, what would it be?

Sylvia: Whatever the audience wants… that’s my role, after all, to make them happy. To make the master happy. …But who’s going to make me happy?

What is your opinion of the host, Sylvia River? How is she handling the season so far?

Sylvia: I… I… I just want… I just want you to be proud of me… I’ve done my best, I tried to run the show just how I’m supposed to, so why… why won’t anyone tell me I’m a good girl?!