Intermission - Reverse card.

It was like one of those super cliche scenes you’d see in anime, specifically those aimed at girls. She didn’t hate it, though.

Noelle stepped out onto the school’s rooftop and saw Oliver there as he looked down through the chain-linked fence, a hand in his pocket and another in the fence’s links. The soft, cold breeze moved his wavy black hair, and the fact that he was so handsome helped her case, as did remembering that this was a school with Japanese roots. But this was no anime. The only reason they were talking at the rooftop was for privacy’s sake.

“It’s even colder here,” Noelle said, chuckling softly as she walked up to Oliver.

“Want to go somewhere else?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Better not risk it, right?”

“Right.” Oliver sighed. He kept as straight a face as he could, but Noelle noticed that his grip on the fence was hard enough to bend and stretch some of the links. “So Isabelle and Alice told you everything.”

“That… That you’re dating Milana, Grace and Sarah, yes.” Noelle’s mouth was dry, and she hid her hands behind her back to prevent him from seeing them shake. “And that Alice… likes you, too.”

Oliver closed his eyes for a moment and bit his lip before he opened them again, looking straight at Noelle, keeping eye contact.

“It happened before I even realized it. One day I only have one person in this school I can barely call an acquaintance, and the next there’re three girls who want to hang out with me all the time. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.” He had a small, self-deprecating smile as he spoke. “I could barely speak to them, I wasn’t anyone special, I had no charisma… Yet these girls still wanted to hang out with me. For a while I thought it was all a joke.” The self-deprecation faded, and his smile became genuine. “But it wasn’t a joke. These girls kept throwing hints at me, until one day I took a gamble and asked them all out. They said yes, and even said they would’ve asked me if I hadn’t done it myself.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “It’s been about three months now, and things are only getting better between us.”

There was a light sting in Noelle’s chest. Oliver was happy, and that was good. She believed his words, and now understood that his relationship with the girls was something that developed naturally between them, which was also good. However…

“Then they came at me with this outrageous… Proposition? Request? Whatever it was, they said they’d like me to…. be with other girls. That they’d not only support it, but were looking forward to it. If it wasn’t because of… how well I know them by now, I would’ve thought it a trick or similar, but no, they were serious. And when I finally accepted their idea, the first person I thought of… was you.”

Noelle’s heart skipped a beat. Her eyes widened, her cheeks burned and her mouth half-opened, but not a sound came. She held one of her hands tightly with the other.

“I didn’t know what to think of it. I was already dating those three, I was happy, satisfied, but when the possibility that I could also date you appeared, I…” He bit his lip again to stop it from quivering. “Ever since we started talking, I tried to deny to myself that I liked you. But the more we hung out, the more I fell for you, and the worse it felt. How could I even ask you to be part of this? It would be the most selfish request, but… I just can’t deny it.”

Oliver looked at her firmly, resolutely. He stood with a straight back, he looked taller. Looking back at him made her heart beat faster.

“I like you, Noelle. I’ve never clicked with anyone so quickly, and the time we’ve spent together has been amazing.” …It was the same for her. Her chest tightened. “But I can’t in good conscience ask you to go out with me.”

Wait. Huh?

“What I’d want is for you to accept that I’m going out with other girls, but I wouldn’t want you to see other guys, and that’s…” He clicked his tongue. His face was a frustrated grimace. “That’s absolutely ridiculous! What I have now with Mila, Grace and Sarah is something they agreed to from the start. It was their idea to begin with. Suddenly asking you to accept it would be the most egoistic thing I could do, and I just… can’t.”

Wait. Wait. Wait. So…

“I’ll understand if it’s hard for you to see me right now. That said, I don’t want us to stop being friends.”

Was this right? Was this really what was happening? Was Noelle… getting friendzoned?

At what point did she start believing that…? Isabelle told her yesterday that Oliver really liked her. Alice told her just that morning that she’d be okay with her dating him, too. They made it sound like… like Oliver was going to ask her out. At what point did she start believing the decision lay solely with her?

Noelle really liked Oliver, but she wasn’t sure she could accept sharing him as a boyfriend with other girls. She had come here with the resolution to tell him just that and reject his proposal. But… But…

Now it hurt more. He DID like her, he DID want to be with her, but he was choosing NOT to ask her out. The decision wasn’t hers. She thought it was, that she had the ‘luxury’ of refusing. She thought… that she could be with him if she wanted to, but chose not to. Now a door she thought open to her was closing before her very eyes.

Her parents always told her, when she stayed in her room alone, that she’d never experience new, amazing things if she kept saying no to the possibility of those experiences. Was this what they were talking about?

She liked Oliver. She liked him more than she’d ever liked a boy. She… She wanted him, and for a moment, she could’ve had him, but now… he was going to move on from her.

No.

No. No. No.

She wouldn’t accept it. Was she going to miss out on being with the guy that made her crazy over some prude, socially constructed values? Was Noelle going to let that stop her from experiencing something potentially amazing? Alice certainly wasn’t. She was going all in. Why couldn’t Noelle do it, too? She thought she could say no, but now it wasn’t up to her, and that made it hurt even more.

This was it. Another chance to experience something new squandered by fear.

…

…

…

No. It didn’t have to be that away. She still had a say in the matter.

“I’d like us to still hang out,” Oliver continued. “Because I’m not going to give up on…”

“Oliver!” Noelle interrupted him, not quite catching those last words. “C-Can I talk to you later?”

“Huh?” Oliver looked taken aback, and with good reason.

“Later. I promise we’ll talk later today, but… there’s something I have to do. I’m sorry about this.”

“O-Okay…?”

With his answer, Noelle bolted out of the rooftop.

If she was going to do this, she had to at least be proper about it. If she was lucky, Milana, Grace and Sarah would still be close to the school.

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