Interlude: The Agent (Part 2).

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Location:???,???, Office of ‘The Agent’.

Time elapsed since the Hills arrived on Ifnirius: 00days.03hrs.07mins.16secs.

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The Agent sits at their desk, eyes flicking between the monitor displaying their latest charges and holo-scroll outlining the basics of the H-System. The conversation with the higher-ups had been as clear as mud, as most conversations with higher-ups tend to be. They had offered the exceedingly helpful and ever enlightening advice of ‘watch what happens and let us know if anything changes.’ Then ordered the Agent to ‘share your feed with your supervisor if things start happening.’ Before promptly fucking off.

A small peek out onto the office floor had revealed a hive of activity, practically unheard of in the otherwise placid building. The unusual activity was alarming enough, but for the last couple of hours the Agent couldn’t shift the feeling that they were being watched. Something was up, and the Agent needed to know what.

Hence the holo-scroll, not that it had helped any. Hissing in displeasure, the Agent’s scales rasped together as they shifted, trying fitfully to get comfortable despite the constant feeling of scrutiny. Since the earlier jump in Libido in subject 1 (Sasha Hill) and Subject 4 (Adam Hill), there had only been one further incident. An increase of +1 in both Adam and his twin sister, Ashley Hill (designated Subject 3) when the pair had shared a sleeping bag for the sake of warmth. The Agent had dutifully passed it on to the higher-ups, but had yet to hear anything back.

Sudden movement on the monitor catches the Agent’s eye, and they look up in time to see a bird’s-eye view of something small and furry charging the person on watch, Subject 5 (Emily Hill). The encounter is brief, and the small creature is dispatched rather quickly, but not before leaving a little something to remember it by.

Bringing the data for the transmitted disease up on a side-screen, the Agent nods in satisfaction. ‘This sort of thing is perfect to test the cohesion of a new group. The disease is non-lethal and slow acting, but they won’t know that.’ The Agent had seen similar situations before, and therefore knew that how the group reacted would be a pretty good indicator of their future potential together.

The Agent watches quietly as the situation unfolds; the monitor shifting into three separate points of view as Sasha returns to her tent with Subject 2 (Lisa Hill), Ashely returns to her tent alone, and Adam joins Emily by the campfire. The Agent winces in sympathy as Adam makes his oath in ignorance, only to gasp as the oath is rescinded ‘What the fuck is a System Custodian!??’

By the time their attention had returned to monitor, Adam and Emily were… hugging? Learning the reason, the Agent snorted in amusement. Subjects originating from technologically developed worlds almost always had preconceived notions of how aspects of the System would work based on their worlds fiction and media, and the clash between fiction and reality often produced humorous results. For the Analyse skill, merely observing a single target for a set time was enough. The hug? Entirely unnecessary.

The smile lasted right up until the pling, which was shortly followed by several more, a now entirely recognisable sound heralding an increase to a Subject’s Libido. With a heavy sigh, the Agent sent a request to share their feed with their supervisor, a request that was immediately accepted. ‘Duty fulfilled’, the Agent thought with a sigh, ‘and **** warrant signed,’ the Agent added sardonically. They shifted focus to the screen, tracing their subject stats. Sure enough, things were happening.

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Changes to Attributes (Emily Hill):

• +1 Lib.
• +1 Lib.
• +1 Lib.

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The Agent watched helplessly as the H-Attribute slowly increased, letting out a world-weary sigh when Emily Hill joined her mother and brother in passing the first threshold in Libido, finally stabilising at a score of 12 when Adam pulled back from the hug. ‘Well, there goes my job.’ *PLING… PLING*. ‘Huh?’

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Changes to Attributes (Ashley Hill):

• +1 Lib.
• +1 Lib.

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‘Wait, what!? She was asleep last I checked?’ Focusing on a different portion of the monitor and rewinding the feed slightly offered the Agent some context. Ashley had tossed and turned for a time, her gaze repeated flickering towards the tent flap. Then, nibbling on her bottom lip, she finally settled on her back and threaded an arm first into her sleeping bag, and then between her legs. ‘Is she…? Oh, she is. What is with this family?!? They’re all so… bloody horny!’ *PLING* ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, what now!?!’.

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Changes to Attributes (Lisa Hill):

• +1 Lib.

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‘Why am I not surprised at this point?’ It was apparently massage time in tent number two. Sasha was on the receiving end, making very… appreciative noises as Lisa worked the tension from her mother’s shoulders. Despite the PG nature of the massage (both women were still fully clothed), the noises coming from Sasha were clearly having an effect on Lisa. If the steady pling of rising Libido wasn’t sign enough, the beet-red face and slightly ragged breathing were a dead giveaway.

Just like that, the Agent watched as the two remaining holdouts crossed their first threshold, forever cementing Libido as their core stat. The Agent watched the train-wreck as it unfurled, a small, dazed smile on their face. The bleep of an incoming message broke them from their revery. An email from HR. ‘Juuuuuust perfect, there’s my notice of termination.’

With a sense of impending dread, the Agent opened the email, then paused, dumbstruck. Not a notice of termination at all, but, ‘A promotion!?! I’m an Administrator now? WHAT! IN THE NAME OF FUCK! IS GOING ON!?!?!’