Coming to an understanding.

Ash leaves the tent first, shooting a small, worried glance in my direction. I smile back at her reassuringly, before saying, “go, it’ll all be fine, trust me.” Although she doesn’t look entirely convinced, Ash nods all the same. Taking a deep breath to centre herself, she pushes out of the tent, joining the others in camp.

Not long after, I push through the tent-flap, breathing in the fresh air of the forest as I step out into camp. The day is slightly colder than it had been yesterday, and a glance upwards shows a grey, cloudy sky peeking through the gaps in the canopy. ‘The weather changes fast here, noted. It looks like it might rain. Hiking in the wet in leather armour is going to suuuuuuuck.’

We had been lucky on our journey so far, with warm, cloudless days, but the environmental information we received before leaving earth did mention higher than average rainfall. It looked like our luck regarding nice weather was about to run out. ‘Looking at the sky isn’t going to help make things any less awkward, bub.’ Sighing, I mentally kick my ass into gear and stop procrastinating.

My plan should work. No, it would work. I'd had plenty of time to think about what I would say this morning. For hours on end, I'd planned out elaborate speeches, practiced arguments and counterarguments in favour of this admittedly scary change in our relationship as a family. Then, in the wee hours of the morning, I had realised something. I was doing what I always did, piling all of the responsibility onto my own shoulders again, when in reality, the other four wanted this just as much as I did. All I needed to do was make them see that.

After that revelation, it had only been a matter of time for me to understand the key thing holding the rest of my family back. Focusing on the camp, a small frown forms on my face. It was as I had feared. A clear division had formed, with Mum and Lisa sat huddled together on one side of the fire, and Ash and Em on the other. Oh, and all eyes were on me. I take a moment to look from woman to woman, taking in their expressions of trepidation, and noting how either side of the fire has a hard time looking at the other. ‘Yup, about as awkward as I expected.’

I clear my throat, then say, “Good morning everyone.” Turning to Lisa, I add, “I hope everything went well enough with your transformation last night?” she nods, clearly not expecting to be addressed first, but after a moment she relaxes, offering me a small smile as she replies “It went well enough, thanks for asking. You really weren’t kidding when you said it felt like getting hit by a lorry at the start there.”

I shudder in response, the memory of that pain still fresh in my mind before chucking wryly. “If the upsides weren’t so dammed good, I’d never want to go through it again. It looks as if threshold two is at 25 points, by the way. We can talk about all that after, first we should really talk about the elephant in the room.”

The atmosphere in the camp, which had thawed ever so slightly, went right back to awkward again in a flash. Still, I knew that dancing around the subject would never settle things; we needed to get this talk out of the way.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I then begin speaking. “You are probably all expecting me to stand up here and talk long into the morning, regaling you all with how this is what we all want deep down, and give you a list of reasons why we’re not making a mistake as long as my arm. But that isn’t the problem, is it?”

“I want all of you to close your eyes.” I receive four blank looks, before the woman share looks of uncertainly. Ash is the first, shortly followed by Em. Not to be outdone, the other two soon follow suit. “Good. Now, I want to keep your eyes closed, but raise your hand if you feel that the key thing holding you back is a concern that openly acting on romantic feelings you hold for certain family members, but not others, will somehow ruin the current family dynamic.” I wait a moment, and they confirm my theory a moment later when four arms are hesitantly held aloft.

“Everyone open your eyes, but keep your hands up.” They do so, slowly looking around the fire, each person seeing their own worry reflected in the raised arms of the rest of the family. I give them a moment, then continue. “All of you are nervous to admit what you are feeling. We’ve always been close, and I know for a fact we all love each other as family deeply.”

“We all care for each other’s happiness and wellbeing, but are scared to push each other away with our own selfish desires. We all know where everyone stands at this point, we all what this, but thinking about it and doing it are two different things. You all still can’t help but worry that if you admit how you feel, you’ll drive a rent between us, especially between those you wish to pursue romantically and those you’d prefer to stay as family.”

I give a moment for my words to sink in, noting the conflicted faces in front of me, before I add, “so here’s what we’re going to do. Everyone apart from me is going to close their eyes again, then I’m going to ask a few yes or no questions which you guys answer honestly and anonymously. You’ll stick your hand up for yes and keep it down for no, simple and easy to remember.”

“I will note any concerns as we go, and we sit down and talk them through as adults after I’ve asked all the questions. If, by the time we get to the end of the questions, everyone is still on the same page, and there have been no disagreements, I will let you know that too. Sound good?” four nods, considerably more determined than before. I even get a grin from Ash as she asks, “And why is it you get to run things and see all our answers?”

I grin right back, then reply, “Two reasons. First, because I don’t see you up here doing the all of the talking. And second, because all of you already know where I stand, and that I am smitten with each and every one of you,” (a statement that elicited more than one blush) “which makes me the closest thing to impartial among the five of us. You guys already know that I want this, otherwise I wouldn’t be up here, but you also know that this is the sort of thing I'd take seriously, so you can trust me not to play silly buggers with the results.”

“Errrr, carry on then.” I chuckle at the reply, before saying, “good. Now, everyone close your eyes.” I wait for them to do so before I continue. “Excellent. I’ll start off with an easy one. I’m not going to comment on anything out loud, so if you answer ‘yes’ to a question, count to five in your head before lowering your arm, understood?” Three arms aloft, and one nod. “Errrr, pretty sure that was a yes or no question.” An extra arm sheepishly joins the other three. I resist the urge to chuckle as I wait the five seconds (‘Mum, of all people? I’m totally going to give her shit for that later’). When everyone drops their arms, I continue.

“Now for the real questions. Are you romantically and/or sexually attracted to one or more of the people here?” Four very red faces, four arms raised.

“Are you okay with the idea of being romantically involved with more than one person?” There’s a brief hesitation, which, considering the nature of the question, is entirely fair, but eventually four arms are raised.

“Is the idea of a someone you see as only a family member being romantically involved or intimate with a person who you yourself are involved with a relationship breaking problem for you?” This was the clincher, the question that would either make or break this budding relationship. I had to hold back a sigh of relief when not a single hand is raised.

We could have probably stopped there, but I chose not to. This was a perfect chance for me to determine where we all stood, what we wanted from the relationship, and what we were all comfortable with. Therefore, I continued asking questions.

“Are you willing to communicate your romantic needs with those you are not directly intimate with, so that everyone can get what they want?” Four arms raised.

“Same question again, but with sexual needs.” Much more hesitation and a considerable amount of blushing, but four arms are eventually raised.

“Are you willing to be open and honest with each other, and bring any problems to the group’s attention, even if they are embarrassing?” Lots of pensive looks, but four arms raised.

“Would you prefer that family members you were not romantically or sexually involved with kept any overt displays of PG affection, kissing, hugging, handholding, etc, private?” Some thoughtful looks, but no hands raised. 'Thought so, as that would work both ways.'

“Are you willing to hide our genuine relationship as family from anyone that we meet if it meant we could continue our romantic relationships publicly?” Four hands shoot up at speed. ‘That’s a definitive yes, then.’

I wrack my brains for more questions, but whilst there was probably a load I hadn’t thought of, all the questions popping into my head at that moment were sexual in nature, or things that I wanted to discuss with each woman (or pair?) in private. Shrugging, I say, “you guys can open your eyes now.” They slowly open their eyes, before sharing hesitant glances. I chuckle, then say, “You were all on the same page. Every question I asked got a unanimous answer.”

There's silence in the camp, as the women look from me to each other. Ash speaks up first as she asks, “Wait? So we’re really all ok with this?” I grin, nodding at her. “I’m pretty sure we’re all in agreement here?” Mum, who I can’t help but notice is now holding Lisa’s hand in her lap, is the first to reply. “I think we are, Sweety, although I’m not convinced that this isn’t all a dream yet.”

I chuckle, fully agreeing with her. “Yeah, it’s certainly going to take some getting used to. Doesn’t stop me being deliriously happy though!” Ash snorts, before replying, “Of course you are, you have four girlfriends now. If you were anything other than ecstatic, I’d think there was something wrong with you.” I merely shrug, smiling sheepishly, she’s not wrong after all.

“Errrrrr, Adam?” I turn to Em, who's fidgeting nervously, her face a deep shade of pink. Raising an eyebrow, I ask, “What’s up, Em?” She sneaks a glance at the others gathered around the fire, who are all watching the exchange with looks of curiosity, before her eyes flick back to mine. “T-t-there was something that I wanted to ask about, something that might affect all of us, you know, down the line…”

She was clearly battling against nerves as she spoke, her eyes flicking from me over to Mum repeatedly. This doesn’t go unnoticed, as mum softly says, “If you’d prefer me not to be here for this, Honey, I can wander off for a bit?” Emily shoots her a grateful smile, but shakes her head, “No, you don’t have to do that, but thank you. It’s just…” Her eyes flick back to me as she mumbles, “Adam, you said that you wanted this to be a proper relationship, and that you might even marry us some day. Were you just saying that, or did you really mean it?”

Suddenly, all eyes are on me again. I sigh, before answering, “I didn’t bring it up, because I wasn’t sure where each of you stood and what you all wanted out of this relationship. It’s still early days yet, and I don’t know what’ll happen in the near future, but yes, Em. For those of you who want a serious relationship, I intend to treat it as such.”

I focus on my interface for a moment and the System, sensing my intent, plucks the notification I'd been looking for from the queue. I give it a cursory glance, resisting an eye roll at the snotty ‘you’re no fun for not playing our game’ comment, before withdrawing the remaining two rings. Taking the other three out of my inventory, I display all five to the group, smiling warmly as I hear the gasps of indrawn breath.