Insights

Noah swallowed hard, feeling his heart rate kick up as he looked down at the ruined condom still clinging to his cock. He still felt queasy.

“Did they all use protection?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt like he already knew the answer, but the uncertainty was gnawing at him.

Jillian hesitated, her eyes narrowing as she glanced around, everywhere but Noah's face. “I think so. I mean, everyone who... came inside me did, in the beginning for sure. The others, the ones after I...” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, her cheeks flushing a shade of rosy pink. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Noah nodded, though her answer made no sense to him. “And what about the guy that fucked you in the ass? What about him? Did he—”

“Which one?” she cut in, “I mean, a few of them did. I KNOW you came in my ass, like A LOT. So, I do know that much.”

"This is weird..." Dante interjected, still fumbling with his shirt buttons, his discomfort was palpable.

“Okay. Right.” Noah replied absently.

Jillian's lips pressed into a thin line. “Everything happened so fast,” she answered in a breath. “...and it just kept happening. Some... a few of them pulled out.” She swallowed hard, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And they came on my back, on my ass... on my fucking face... it was just everywhere...”

Noah flinched, the vivid image of his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend getting splattered with cum flashing through his mind. He shook his head, trying to dispel the thought, but it clung to him like a scratchy wool blanket.

Noah exhaled sharply, his stomach roiling. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about any of it anymore, but the questions kept spilling out.

“How much did you swallow?”

Jillian scoffed, “Really, Noah? That's what you want to focus on?”

He leaned in, his voice steady but laced with a venom he couldn't contain. “Yeah, Jillian. Call it curiosity. How much?"

She shook her head, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. “I don't know. Maybe five or six loads. Does it matter?”

Noah’s head was spinning, **** was still coursing through his veins, “It matters to me.” Noah sneered, “How many times did you orgasm?”

The color in her cheeks took on a deeper shade of red, “Noah, come on. Seriously?”

He pressed on, relentless. "Did you?"

She still refused to look at him, her voice low but steady. “I don't know. Like maybe six times? Are you happy now?”

Noah's heart pounded in his chest, the weight of her words pressing down on him. He thought about turning to leave, but he **** out another question, it was torturous, but he wanted to know more, he wanted to understand her mindset.

“Did any of them say anything? Or talk about you after?”

“Some of them... they laughed, yeah. Said it was fun. They... all seemed pretty happy about it. I wasn't really paying attention.” She met Noah's eyes again. She was steady, as if she was daring him to look away.

“I'm sorry,” he said abruptly, “I'm just trying to understand... did you enjoy it?”

Jillian exhaled, a small, half-breath before she began to speak. “I don't know... it was liberating? I cried after Fletcher and his friend left. Just a little. But once I got over what an awful girlfriend I was being,” she said, her voice catching. “It was fun. I regret letting it happen... I never should’ve let it happen… I’m sore… but it was still fun… does that make sense?”

Dante, now fully dressed, hovered near the door, his hand on the doorknob. "Noah, I really gotta go," he said, his voice pleading.

Noah shot him another sharp look. "Just give me a minute, Dante. I need to sort this out."

Dante sighed but nodded, stepping back from the door.

Noah closed his eyes, picturing Jillian taking cock after cock, one after the other. The thought made his heart feel like it was being stomped on, over and over. “Why didn't you text me back? Why didn't you stop?”

Jillian's chin trembled. “Because... it was already happening... I was ashamed. You were going to hate me anyway, why bother?”

He turned away, looking toward the window. The moon was full and bright. The room eerily silent. Both Jillian and Dante seemed to be waiting for Noah to say something. But Noah let the silence wash over him. He thought of the last couple of months, how they were seemingly perfect, how optimistic he was about everything.

“I get it.” He replied after a moment. His voice was quieter. He was determined not to be emotional. The nihilist in him had taken control.

“I left you alone on horny, and you lost control. Fucking crazy on your part, but I guess I understand.”

She reached for his hand, her fingertips trembling as they brushed his knuckles. “Well, Fletch—”

Noah heard the desperation in her voice. She was ready to pass the blame. Instead, she swallowed, and then started over. “I was stupid. I wish I could take it all back.”

He closed his fingers over hers, the heaviness in his chest, eased up a bit. He let out a slow breath. “I believe you.”

Jillian nodded, and her eyes welled up with more tears.

“We can talk more later—when I've had a chance to sort this in my head.”

She gave him a small, hopeful smile. “Okay.”

Noah stood up, peeled off the ruined condom and began to dress himself. Dante, waited patiently, stepping forward once Noah was dressed.

“Noah, man, I had no idea,” he said, sounding sullen, “Had I known…”

Noah actually grown to like Dante despite himself, “I know, Dante. It's not your fault.”

Relief washed over Dante’s face. He reached for the doorknob and turned it, pulling the door open. As it swung wide, Noah was taken aback to see the last guy was still waiting, and another had joined the line.

The taller of the two stood in front, looking past Noah toward Jillian, who was still sitting on the bed.

“Hey, man, is she still down to fuck?" he asked.

Noah glanced back at her. She was still naked. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were wrapped around her shins.

“No, I think she’s done.” Noah said firmly.

The tall guy’s smile faltered, but he nodded.