Inside and out he's better than I am

Vivian kept her smile long enough to leave the boutique. Once she was alone with her thoughts, however, her façade came crumbling down like a sand castle at high tide.

“Aaaagh… you idiot!” She chastised herself, slumping against a lamppost. “What were you thinking, you absolute moron!?”

If Vivian were the kind of girl to self-harm, she might have smacked her head against the pole a couple of times. Luckily she could keep her composure well enough to know that was a really dumb move, so she didn’t.

But in her head, she absolutely was smacking the shit out of herself.

“I mean, let’s be real here, I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” She pointed out, pacing back and forth on the street corner. “I had to step in and stop Kim from setting Dakota off! It was the only way to calm her down, making Kim angry at me instead of Dakota!” She knew that seeing Kim’s breast hop up a couple bra sizes and the resulting flurry of negative emotions from the tomboy would send Dakota into stitches; the host struck her as the kind of woman who delighted in the frustration of others, so long as she could view it from a distant position.

Vivian had seen plenty of ruthless people like that across from her in negotiations.

“…I probably didn’t have to make them get so big though,” she admitted. The absurdity had helped sell the move in the moment, but now, dealing with the consequences? All she’d done is make Kim even angrier with her.

“And Nick’s going to kill me when he finds out… fuck! This is bloody awful…” Vivian knew she was losing it when her language started drifting away from the classy vocabulary she was used to. It wasn’t even casual at this point, just straight-up lower class. But it perfectly expressed her frustration with herself. “I told him I was going to be more thoughtful and try not to upset people, especially not on purpose… bollocks, he’s never going to forgive me… I messed up… I shouldn’t have… but… aaargh!”

Vivian was practically tearing her hair out in frustration at this point. She’d stepped in because she couldn’t figure out a better way to defuse the situation, but that was just a fucking excuse. It didn’t make what she’d done to Kim any less disgusting, and thus, Vivian was more disgusted with herself than ever.

After all the times Vivian had messed up prior to this, she’d burned any benefit of the doubt Nick might have had for her. And when he saw this… he’d probably wash his hands of her entirely.

Why did I have to do it? If I only just left the boutique with the others instead of staying behind to try and mediate the situation… but no, I knew Kim might do something, that’s why I stayed… but I had no idea I’d be **** to… I shouldn’t have… …Wait, but if I’d gone, then Kim and Dakota would have anyway… agh, what a fucking mess.

What was the right answer? What should Vivian have done? No matter how she analyzed the situation, she couldn’t come up with a better move than the one she’d made. In the end, she’d managed to stop the situation from escalating, and made things better.

…For everyone but herself.

“Haaaah… balls.” Vivian sank down onto a bench and rubbed her temples in frustrated resignation. Understanding what she’d done and why… there was no other option in her mind. She really hadn’t had any choice.

Not that Nick would ever understand. So she resigned herself to the reality that she was going to be fucked one way or another, and took comfort that at least she’d helped everyone else out by keeping Dakota from going fucking psycho on Kim.

“Well, even if Nick and Kim won’t forgive me for messing with her like that… at least they’re going to have some fun tonight,” she said somberly, consoling herself with that, at least. “Someone’s going to enjoy themselves, anyway.”

It was a cold comfort to a girl who couldn’t stop messing up like her.

Nick’s small, improvised date with Holly was nearing its end. Kim was about to come off of her four-hour shift, and they’d almost reached the agreed upon time that they’d be meeting.

It put him in a bit of a quandary. He loved spending time with Holly; if he could, he’d like to spend the rest of the day just with her. Or even the rest of the round. At the same time though, he also wanted to see Kim, and have fun with her. He wouldn’t trade his time with Holly for anything, but he also wouldn’t trade his time with Kim.

Situations like this one were a massive pain in the ass. Nick couldn’t be in two places at once; he had a finite amount of time he could spend with each girl, and when he cared about all of them…

Well, this was something that he had been **** to reckon with many times already since arriving on this show.

“You good?” Holly looked at him with a note of concern in adoring eyes. They dimmed slightly and she bit her lip. When it came to Nick’s feelings, she was shockingly perceptive these days.

“What? Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine,” Nick said, shaking his head. “I was just thinking it was a shame that we have to end things so early.”

Holly **** a smile to her lips. “Well, it can’t be helped,” she said, shrugging. She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, but was still much shorter than he was. “You’ve got a date with Kim, remember? And don’t go telling me that you’d rather spend it with me, because that’s not fair.”

Part of Nick wondered if Holly was baiting him again, trying to get him to say that he’d rather be with Kim to fulfill her kink. But he didn’t take the bait if that’s what it was, he just shook his head.

“I’d hate the idea of having to pick between either of you,” he admitted, scratching his head. “Don’t get me wrong, Holly, you’re amazing, and I love you, but Kim is pretty great too. Having to pick who I spend time with… it’s a nightmare.”

Holly laughed. “Well… I had you this morning. And that’s more than I would have expected. I can’t remember the last time we ever went on an actual date.”

Nick paused for a second. “…Did we ever?” He asked. “I mean, there was that one in the first round, but that was because we were **** onto it by the show. It isn’t like it organically happened. And the stuff before that, well, that was when our relationship was more…”

“Stupid?” Holly chirped.

“…I was going to say ‘complicated’ but actually stupid is way more valid,” Nick said, nodding after a moment of consideration. “Yeah. It was actually really kinda stupid how we missed each other like that, I agree.”

Holly shook her head and laughed. “You didn’t miss anything, Nick,” she said, her voice aching with slight regret as she remembered his confession. “That was on me… my fault. If I hadn’t been so ashamed of who I was, then… maybe things could have been different.”

They could both see it. The two of them together, hand in hand, just like today. How many “todays” could they have had by now, if Holly hadn’t run from him- and herself- in that moment?

More than they could count. Dawn probably could give them an estimate, though. Either way, right now, neither of them wanted to know it.

They just looked at each other and smiled, knowing what they’d lost, but not really caring. Right now, they’d found each other.

“…You wouldn’t have gotten together with Mary, though,” Holly pointed out, verbalizing the thought they’d shared. “She would have stepped aside like the good little girl she is.”

“You’re not wrong,” Nick echoed, recalling how Mary used to be in the past. Almost as repressed as Holly. While the woman he had married wasn’t shy about standing up for herself and acting on her feelings, it had taken a significant degree of effort to get there. Effort she never would have put in had she seen the two of them happy together.

“And it’s not just her,” Holly continued, starting to count on her fingers. “Rose, Kim, Gina, Dawn, Morgana… Dani and Carly too… think about how things would be different if none of this ever happened? I’m not saying it’s a good thing that I rejected you so harshly… obviously it’s not. But if I hadn’t, you would have been stuck with just me!”

Nick had to laugh. “Would that really be so bad?” He teased. Obviously he wasn’t saying he wished that alternate reality had played out, and Holly knew it. But just like her, he couldn’t help but imagine a hypothetical alternate reality split between the two of them, and what could have resulted from it if only they’d acted on their feelings.

But they both could understand the merit of the outcome they’d arrived at.

“Still… it’s a shame,” Holly murmured, playing with a fringe of her hair. She looked up at the sun, almost at the peak of its arc in the sky. It was almost noon. “It’s so early and we have to stop things here so you can go rush off and be with another girl… you dog, you!”

She playfully smacked him in the shoulder. But Nick couldn’t smile about that.

“Holly…”

“Agh, don’t give me that face!” Holly groaned. “I was making a joke! Now you’re making me feel bad!”

Nick shrugged. “Can you blame me? It’s not fair to you. I get a day with each girl in my harem. But I don’t get one with you. That isn’t fair.”

“You don’t get one with Marley, either,” Holly rebutted. “Even though she’s super hot, and she’d fold like an origami flower if you pushed her a little.”

“Have you ever tried to fold one of those?” Nick asked. “Because they’re actually pretty difficult if you don’t know what you’re-”

“Not my point and you know it,” Holly said, puffing up her cheeks. “My point is, life ain’t fair. Don’t I know it? You think it was fair, growing up how I did? Having to deal with all that? No. And you… well, no need to talk about that.”

They both knew how unfair Nick’s life had been. And Holly had a hand in that unfairness, to her eternal regret.

“…As long as you’re there for me, that’s enough,” Holly said, pushing past the tension hanging between them and taking Nick’s hand. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. “I love you too, Nick. And just being around you, that’s… that’s more than enough for me.”

“And smelling my underwear on occasion, that too,” Nick joked with her.

Holly blanched. “You… you know about that?” She squeaked.

“Huh?” Nick missed what she just said, too busy hoping she didn’t smack him.

“Err, nothing, who’d do something like that?” Holly laughed awkwardly. Of course, part of her knew she was repressing again, and that was bad. But she also knew that Nick would completely accept her if he found out. …Assuming he really didn’t know… or was this shame play!? Agh, she wasn’t even sure at this point!

…More importantly, after a nice date like this, even Holly didn’t want to come right out and admit to stealing Nick’s underwear back in college. Not because she was hiding that side of herself from him, but because there was a time and a place for that sort of thing.

But man, she was getting excited now…

Her heart stirred, and she looked longingly up at Nick, her eyes sparkling. She had a wild idea, and she smiled mischievously.

“You know, Nick,” Holly murmured, batting her eyelashes, “we don’t have to end our date just yet, if you don’t want to…”

“Huh?” Nick was surprised by the proposition, and intrigued. “What do you mean?”

Holly approached him, leaning in close and running her fingers along his shirt. “There’s still about a half-hour before you’re supposed to greet Kim, right?”

She looked around quickly, seeing that the street was conveniently clear. That just made her even more excited. Then she spotted a dark alley; it was like fate was on her side! …Or maybe Dakota was playing with the geography. Either way, she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Holly took him by the hand. “Come on,” she urged, leading him into the alley. Once they were safely in private she turned on her heel, and looked him in the eye.

Nick knew that twinkle. It could mean something good, or something very, very bad.

And judging by the way she licked her lips, he was leaning towards the latter.

“I know you were supposed to take it easy today… but all the sweet things you said about me… it feels like it would be wrong if I didn’t give you something,” Holly said, batting her eyelashes. He felt her fingers again, trailing down his shirt, and he had a feeling he knew where this was going.

A second later Holly crouched to the ground, and his pants dropped to join her.

“H-Holly!” Nick turned red, his heart skipping a beat.

“What?” Holly turned and looked up at him. Her heart-filled eyes were moist with longing. “You don’t want to?”

For a second it looked like the rejection had actually made her even more excited. But doubt and hesitation won out over her face, and Nick winced.

“No, of course I do,” he said quickly. “If you want to… do you?”

He wasn’t sure what to make of the sudden gesture from Holly, after she’d been so determined to foist him off onto another girl. If anything he’d be expecting her to get him worked up only to leave him high and dry for Kim or someone else to enjoy.

Holly actually being sexually proactive, instead of just generally lascivious, was so unusual he didn’t know how to respond to it.

He felt her fingers dig into his boxers, and realized they were trembling.

She isn’t sure about this either, Nick realized. Part of her is still grappling with the idea that she should be preserving my sexual interest for another woman, instead of satisfying me herself.

“Holly…”

She heard the emotion in his voice and her head snapped up. She looked at him with wide, expectant eyes, like she wasn’t sure if he really wanted this or not. Or if she even did.

“If you want to have sex, I’m okay with that,” he said gently. “Of course I would be.” He hadn’t been expecting it, but he wouldn’t turn her down.

Holly’s eyes widened, and for a moment, joyous wonder took hold of her.

Then she smirked.

“Who said anything about sex?” She scoffed, fishing Nick’s hardening cock out of his boxers and caressing it with her delicate hands. “I don’t go all the way on the first date, I’ll have you know,” she teased him.

Nick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. But what he was feeling was pretty nice.

“Sex would be wonderful,” Holly said, stroking him a couple times to get him fully hard. “But… I’m afraid it wouldn’t be… good. For either of us.”

The look in her eye as she stared up at him spoke volumes, and it made his heart ache. He understood what she meant completely. Holly could no longer get off on pure penetration, chastity belt or no chastity belt. The only thing that could do it was the presence of another woman, and this was a moment shared between the two of them.

“Right now, I’m so filled with love I don’t even care,” Holly said, her hot breath tickling his erection. “Today was wonderful… you reminded me that I’m more than what I say I am. I’m not just some pathetic loser who gets off on seeing the man she loves with other women.”

Nick winced. And it wasn’t from how good her hands felt stroking him off. “Holly, you’re not a-”

She wrapped her fingers around his shaft and raced them down to the base of his cock and back up again, moving so fast the pleasure morphed his words into a groan.

Holly grinned. “I’m someone deserving of love too, I get that now,” she said sweetly, repeating the move a few more times. “So as a thanks… I think you should get some lovin’, free of charge!”

She spit on the head of his cock, lubing up his shaft with a few more strokes until it was nice and shiny and throbbing. Just the way she liked it! Licking her lips, Holly leaned forward and planted a kiss right on the tip, delighting in the taste of Nick’s seed as it filled her mouth.

“Mm, now that’s good,” she purred, parting her lips and pushing forward, taking the head of his cock into her mouth.

It felt amazing. Holly’s mouth was a little too small and her technique was undeveloped, so she couldn’t fit him all the way in. That readily-apparent fact actually made the blowjob feel even hotter for her, knowing she couldn’t compete with the other girls.

Then she heard a groan of pleasure escape from Nick’s lips, and it was like a bolt of electricity surging through her. Her eyes widened in amazement.

He’s actually feeling it! From me, of all people! Even though I’m nowhere near as good as Dawn, or even Mary, probably!

The fact that Holly, as inferior as she was to the beauties in Nick’s life, was still able to pleasure him like this…

It got her all moist between the legs. She crouched down, rubbing her pussy through her leggings, amplifying her pleasure all while knowing it was fruitless. Nothing her fingers did would ever be truly satisfying, but that was hardly the point! No, what mattered was the eternal chase of the edge of ecstasy, knowing that nothing she ever did would be enough.

Because this wasn’t about her pleasure right now; it was about what she could do for Nick. And judging by how his cock was twitching in her mouth, even her inexperienced blowjob was doing it for him, which was just the cherry on top.

“You’re really good, Holly, fuck, you’re doing great,” Nick said, knowing she’d probably like to hear the opposite but not caring. She wanted this to be good for him? Fine, he would be selfish for once. And what he wanted to selfishly do was praise Holly’s improving technique, whether she wanted to hear that or not.

He really does love me… oh, how sweet! Nick, I love you too! Holly was moving faster now, and putting her full heart into it. As her emotions overflowed she upped the ante, pulling her head back and nearly slamming it forward. It was a brutal move and one that she probably should have built up towards, but Holly wasn’t really a person who did things in half-measures anymore.

Back and forth, back and forth, Holly kept drawing her lips all the way to the head of his cock, sucking covetously on it, then slammed forward as hard as she could. “Gluk! Gluk! Gluk!” The sounds of her sloppy blowjob filled the alley, and filled her with a sense of triumph as she realized that she was taking him a little deeper every time.

Yes! I’m doing it! Holly’s heart thrummed with joy as she felt Nick’s cock throb with pleasure. He’s really enjoying himself!

“Holly… shit, I’m going to cum!” Nick had meant to take today easy, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t stimulated at all today. Just being near Holly had gotten him excited, and he finally had the opportunity to express those feelings. Feeling the passion in her blowjob, it had taken him right to the edge, and now…

Holly drew back, until just the throbbing head of Nick’s cock remained in her mouth. She suckled on the glans, feeling them tense and flex furiously as her tongue slid across his pisshole and-

“BLRURRRK!”

She shook like a leaf as she felt his semen explode in her mouth. It was as delicious as always, and her eyes rolled back as she nearly reached orgasm. But only nearly. Still, this was as much pleasure as Holly could expect to get, and it was more than enough to fill her body with bliss as she savored every last drop of his seed as it filled every corner of her mouth.

Of course, she drank it down dutifully like a good little sex ****. How could she do anything less? The thought of spilling even a single drop of Nick’s precious semen was sacrilegious to her, and she took everything he had to get her.

“…Pwah!” Once Holly finished savoring her blessing she pulled her lips from Nick’s softening cock with a pop, and beamed up at him. “Was that good enough?” She cooed, batting her eyelashes.

Nick’s cock throbbed, and he felt it getting hard again. Everything she did was so adoring and lusty that he could feel her desire for him rolling off her, and for Nick… he found it as delicious as she clearly did his semen.

“Holly…” his voice croaked.

“Just one,” she said adamantly, her tone ever so slightly teasing. “Sorry, but it’s for Kim’s sake, remember? She deserves some loving too. …Although…”

She glanced at Nick’s cock, shining in the late morning sun, and her stomach gurgled.

“…I guess it would be rude to send you off to her still covered in semen,” she admitted, licking her lips. “So I guess I can give you a little cleanup. But that’s all! Time for you to learn a little something about being left horny and unsatisfied!”

As she started licking up and down his cock, Nick found himself cursing her in spite of how much he loved her. That was just how Holly was.