Income Tax

"Income Tax," Theo said aloud, "There goes the $200 I just collected from Go." He put back the money he'd just collected. Then he looked up and saw Ivy staring at him, "What's up bro?"

"Um Theo..." She said slowly, "Your hair..."

Theo immeditaely ran his hand over his head. His smooth, bald head.

"Oh...guess the tax man really did give me a haircut..." Theo said.

"Wow, ok, I cannot land there!" Ivy said.

"It probably won't shave you," Dax said, "But Theo barely had any hair to begin with."

"I liked my hair!" Theo said, "Though...I suppose it'll grow back...right bro?"

Dax shrugged, 'No idea."

Ivy took the dice from Theo and rolled, "Snake eyes...that's...shit." She moved her token to Sportsbook Lounge

"22 big ones!" Dax said, holding out his hand, "And you will find it more difficult to resist a bet."

"Well I don't gamble now...so I'll be fine..." Ivy said slowly. She had doubles so she had to rolled again, "A 9...the railroad. Road to Perdition. I'll buy it." She put down her money and picked up the property, "It says people will be more likely to go along with me. That's...good, I guess."

Dax rolled next, "Doubles. Fuck. Well Kat how much do I have to pay to read your tabloid newspaper?"

"Just $14," Kat says, "But it says you'll be prone to hyperbole. Sorry."

"Wow, that's LITERALLY the worst." Dax said. Then he realized what he'd just said and shook his head, "Ok, mildly annoying."

He rolled again, landing on chance, "Go to nearest Highway...Twice in a row Kat. What's the damage?"

"$25 and um...a tendency to sin? I don't know what that means in this context." Kat said.

Kat picked up the dice, but before she rolled she looked at Sahar, "Could I buy your underground fight club?"

"Buy? No," Sahar said, "But...I'll trade for your modelling agency and $200."

"And $200? But the modelling agency is worth more." Kat protested.

"Take it or leave it." Sahar said with a smile.

"Um...ok, deal." Kat made the trade. She looked at her newly acquired card and saw the perk text disappear, "Huh...the perk is gone."

Sahar raised an eyebrow, "Oh, strange. Do I still have it? It was minor strength increase. Hard to test it out."

Kat shrugged, then she looked at Dax.

"No." He said immediately, "Not a chance!"

Kat bit her lip. She knew the oranges were rather powerful, given that they were right after jail. It would be worth it to get the first monopoly in the game. She just had to make it worth his while, "Route 666 and $400." She said.

"$500." He countered immediately.

"Deal." Kat shoved her money at him before he could change his mind.

As Kat took the 3rd orange property she saw the text change on her first one. Below her original perk it now read, 'Orange Monopoly - People will find it difficult to argue or disagree with you'. So she did get a new bonus for getting all three, but did she get the perks from the original purchase? She looked at Dax, "I got a perk for getting a monopoly...I had eggs for breakfast...ok. I can't lie to you still."

Dax smirked, "Another perk? But our perks don't transfer. Interesting. Unless it copies...I had a sex dream about Theo last night."

Theo looked at him aghast, "What the fuck bro?"

Dax laughed, "That's a lie! Or is it?"

Theo looked at Kat, "I had bacon for breakfast...ok. We can still lie to Kat."

"What? You had to check? You thought I really did?" Dax asked.

Theo glared at him, "Who knows."

Kat looked at her money. She was running low, but she had to go for it. She bought one house for each property, then rolled, immediately frowning as she saw she was going to land on one of Sahar's properties.

"The strip club, that'll cost you $10 and...uh, it says you'll tend to overheat when overdressed?"

Kat grumbled but paid up.

Sahar rolled a 5 and landed on Route 666, recently acquired by Dax, "Whoohoo. Best day ever. That'll be $25 and you pick up the same penalty I had, tendency to sin."

Sahar paid him, then tried to make a deal, "Want to trade your dairy bar?"

"Nope! Theo go ahead." Dax said, dismissing any further attempts at a deal.

Theo rolled and landed on Sex Shop, the first purple, "I'll buy it for $140. It says...bigger is better?" As soon as he finished reading it he felt something shift down below. He gasped and had to restrain himself from touching his crotch in front of all his friends. His dick just got bigger, didn't it?

"Wow, lucky guy." Ivy said, intuiting what had changed, she rolled a 6 and moved to the Pot Shop, "I'll buy it. It says...Tendency to stay calm in stressful situations. Hey Dax, want to trade?"

"Sure, I'll give you Dairy Bar for Pot Shop." He said.

Ivy bit her lip. She was thinking the other way around, but eventually nodded, "Deal."

Dax collected the second brown tile and powered up his perk, "Monopoly bonus, People will naturally relax and put down their guard around you."

Dax grinned, "Before I roll..." He dropped a stack of bills down, "Time to hotel up." As the cheapest properties it only cost $500 to upgrade to hotels right away. Once he'd placed them he noticed a new perk listed on his cards, "Hotel Bonus - Effortless Mastery - You will expend very little effort to solve even complex problems. A bit obscure, but it sounds fucking fantastic."

Then before anyone could comment, he rolled, "Doubles. 10. That's...fuck." He moved to Road to Perdition.

"$25," Ivy said, "And it says you'll be more likely to agree with sinful suggestions."

Dax sighed, "Worst punishment ever," Then he picked up the dice and rolled again, "There's go, I'll take $200 thank you very much and...community chest. Let's see...Pay your tattoo artist $100 - ouch!"

Dax suddenly looks down at his arms. He'd felt hundreds of pinpricks all at once and now...

"Whoa..."

"Wow, it looks good on you Dax." Ivy said.

"You think?" Dax was a little stunned. Despite his somewhat rough appearance he'd never even thought about getting tattoos. But here he was, a full sleeve. "Kat, what do you think?"

"Personally I don't like tattoos...but I agree with Ivy, it suits you." She said.

As soon as Kat had given her blessing, everyone else nodded along agreeing. Kat smiled and rolled, landing on Underground Hideout and ending her turn.

Sahar rolled doubles, 2-2, and moved to the Casino, which she already owned. She rolled again and this time landed on Sin Tax, what had been the luxury tax tile.

"Oh well, it's only a hun-" Sahar froze and started turning red.

"Sahar, is everything ok?" Kat asked.

Sahar grabbed her chest, "It's gone..."

"What's gone?" Kat asked.

"My..." She looked around, realized everyone was staring at her. She quickly dropped her hand away, "My bra. I guess it was a luxury...?"

"That sucks bro," Theo said. He picked up the dice and rolled, "Oh no..."

"Yes! That's..." Kat checked her card, "Oh, only $80? And your punishment is..."