In-A-Gala-Da-Vida (Part 4: Arriving at the Venue)

It had been a while since the main trio had entered the royal halls of the capitol castle. It was an absolute golden palace of riches and splendour, even in the setting sun the place seemed to glimmer in pure white radiance. It was the tallest building for miles and miles, with spires of creamy white and golden accents, red banners caressing the outside, and all with a friendly aura that didn’t overdo itself. It really showed the royal family's wealth as a beacon of hope and stability for the commoners. The greatest castle that’s stood tall for generations of the Belzerg royal family.

Doors several times larger than even Divane were wide open with many fancy people walking inside on the red carpet. Knights were scattered around to keep the common folk from breaking the interior line, as so many pedestrians were cheering and whooping towards the various Harem Knights walking through the middle of the crowd.

The five members of the Dustiness harem all walked together. Kazuma and Divane enjoying the cheers of the crowds, Sena staying relatively neutral in the walk, Aqua seeming rather bored already, while Darkness was clearly nervous. While she had been here many times before she always felt nervous about the kind of people who were inside. Never truly enjoying the visits when they weren’t just to see Iris or the King. A hand clenched at hers, and though Kazuma was still waving to the crowds he still supported her. Though he would have appreciated her nervous grip not popping one of his fingers out of place.

Following the directions of the numerous butlers and maids, the five of them soon found themselves in a gigantic ballroom. A solid gold chandelier decorated the centre of the room and truly drew the eye, but the rest of the chamber was no less golden and sparkly. Tables with red tablecloths and almost throne-like chairs, all scattered around the room. A food area to the east, and a place to mingle with other knights to the west. With the Kingdom’s four thrones being slightly raised with a marble staircase up to the top towards the north wall. The group were led to a table reading ‘Dustiness-Ford Harem’ before the butler escorting them excused himself saying he would procure a larger seat for their large Goddess companion..

“Well, here we are,” said Kazuma, trying to break the somewhat awkward ice, “Anyone else feeling a little out of place here?”

“You’re out of place everywhere,” Mumbled Aqua quietly but loud enough so only he could hear it.

“Oi.”

“No fighting.” Snapped Sena, though she quickly gave a flustered apology after she did, “S-sorry, there’s so many ex-coworkers here… I want them to see you all as I see you.”

While Aqua huffed, Kazuma gave a lopsided smile, “Uhh, I hope you mean that in a nice way…”

“Well I for one will be on my best behaviour.” Divane loudly proclaimed, “Though with so many Harem Knights, who knows who will try and steal an amazing piece of ass like myself away~”

“Quit that NTR talk, no one’s getting cucked at a royal gala,” Kazuma hissed.

Darkness, who was still trying to quell her heart, exhaled with a smile, “Well… that’s not a very historically accurate statement...” She admitted, knowing so much more about this horrible world than the others, “Okay, I know this is some of your first gala, but we really should be on our best behaviour. Not only for Sena’s sake, if we make a big scene they’re less likely to listen to our request for a bigger budget.”

Sena bowed lightly in appreciation before she looked at the gala’s schedule that the butler had left her, “It’s around seven o’clock now, so we have about an hour left of ‘mingling time’ before the King makes his announcement. I say we all split up and see what information we can gather about what the King’s going to say, and how likely it is to increase our bursary.”

“If you need me I’ll be at the food!” Aqua was already walking away from them. Triggering the ol' 'Kazuma grinds his teeth towards Aqua' manoeuvre.

“That Goddess… she’s not taking this seriously at all!”

“I shall go and mingle with the pitiful humans who all wish to destroy my goddess pussy,” Divane chuckled, also already walking off, probably a little too excitedly adding, “Hehe~ I wonder what will happen~?”

Just as Kazuma was getting ready to growl at her too, Sena interrupted with a bow, “I’ll be off too, I want to have a few moments by myself in case I bump into anyone I know.” With a wave of his hand, Sena also was dismissed.

Leaving just him and his girlfriend to watch the three companions leave.

“This is all gonna go horribly, isn’t it?” The adventurer sighed, rubbing his aching temple before looking down at the girl sitting at the table quietly. “Hey, Darkness. You good?”

She was lost in thought.

“Darkness?”

“Oh! Kazuma, um, yes. Yes, I’m…” She trailed off once more, looking at the crowd of nobles with worry, “...there’s so many people here… are they all Harem Knights?”

He followed her gaze with an eyebrow raised then looked back, “Probably. That’s why we were invited here.” Scooching a chair forwards with his foot, Kazuma sat next to her and grabbed her hand again, “Anything you want to talk about?”

Worry didn’t leave her face fully, but the reassurance seemed to let her swallow it. “A little, but now’s probably not the time…”

“Don’t go setting flags at me, woman.”

A chuckle escaped her lips, “Really, it can wait, Kazuma.”

He exhaled but relented, “Alright, then let’s just change the topic so you stop thinking about it too.” She smiled in acceptance and Kazuma moved himself around to look over at one of their companions, “What do you think’s up with Aqua? I thought we were getting along, but she’s suddenly heel turned into a real brat again.”

“I’ve been thinking about her too,” Darkness admitted, “She said some strange things during Breeding Day, but I didn’t have time to talk to her properly…"

"She destroyed the Mansion too, in case I haven't mentioned it twenty times yet."

His girlfriend just kept staring over to the bluenette in thought, "...actually, there was something I did want to discuss with you, Kazuma.”

Over at the food table, Aqua’s heart ached once more. She’d looked over her shoulder to see what Kazuma and Darkness would do… and they were sitting together chatting. It looked like it was up to her to keep this dang harem together, everyone else was so lazy!

After a few more shrimps of course. The food table was rather resplendent with options, three tables long and full of perfectly made courses for the whole gala to enjoy, so Aqua didn’t feel bad in taking them in spades. Kazuma never sprung for the really nice shellfish at home.

Taking one last handful and tucking a few in her bra for later, Aqua then decided to try and mingle. Walking up to three young looking men in fancy suits who were all chatting away with big smiles.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

They looked at her with confusion before looking back at each other, smiles growing. The tallest one whipped his long blonde hair tuft away from his eye before letting it fall back down over it, “Why hello there, beautiful. Are you here because of the totally true rumours that we’re the three hottest Harem Knights in town?”

“We usually don’t allow anyone in, but for the House of Greeser I’ll make an exception for you.” Another of the men added, his chiselled face doing nothing to alleviate how annoying he was, thrusting a rose into Aqua’s nose and making her sneeze.

The last was clearly the strongest, but probably not the brightest of the three, flexing his muscles and ripping the suit that had already been on its last legs towards the woman that had entered their vicinity, “People like when we fuck! I’m the Knight of the house of Vespa and I like to fuck too! HnngGG!” The bald boy tensed, showing off more bulging bicep.

“Pleh! Get that outta my face! I’m not going to have sex with any of you, I’m a Harem Knight too thank you very much!”

That not only deflated their egos immediately, it gave them all pause.

“You? But… you’re a woman?” The rose boy with short brown hair puzzled, looking down at her crotch with confusion, “...right?”

After throwing a piece of shrimp at his wandering eyes, Aqua retorted, “Yeah? So? Darkness said it was unusual to pick me but not impossible. I just work with Kazuma to find the girls who really want to have babies. As a Goddess I have impeccable taste when it comes to picking people! Then they do him while licking me, it’s a win-win.” Her smile shifted to frown mode, “Though not lately, he’s all happy with Darkness and probably doesn’t need my help…”

“Hmm, sounds stupid.” The blonde one deduced, smiling at his own genius and failing to move his hair back again, “A cute girl like you should just be fawning over us, not finding other cuties.”

“Or you should have your own harem!” Said the bald guy with cold arms, “And have as much fun as you want without a guy!” He beamed, before getting smacked by the blonde one.

“Hey! I’m trying to raise my numbers here! This chick is clearly into me, why are you messing that up?!”

“I’m not into you.” She said calmly as she turned and walked away.

The one with the roses snickered into his flower as the blonde one whimpered in pain, “Hehe, looks like the House of Reginald is staying at a grand total of zero lays this week.”

“Shut up, Terry! This is bad, what if my Harem Head fires me?! This is a once of a lifetime gig! I just gotta…” Aqua had gone. His somehow-more-annoying-than-Kazuma’s whining just drowned into the distance as she ate another bra shrimp. The ideas that the bald one gave her swimming in her mind a little.

At one side of the gala, there was a man wiping his rather wide brow. His small orange moustache and little toupe was perhaps the only body hair still on his head. He’d just exited the royal bathroom corridor, trying his hardest to cover how much sweat he’d been leaking, though anyone who knew him knew the noble man’s rather large stature and lack of proper exercise often had him leaking up a storm wherever he went.

He just wasn’t expecting to run into one of the people that knew him on his way back to his table.

“S-Sena-chan!”

The woman was leaning against a wall, eyes cast downwards as she adjusted her glasses, “Hello, Clive.”

He coughed, then wiped some sweat from his brow, “It’s… good to see you again.” Clive said timidly.

She gave him a side eyed glance, staying completely stoic in her face and responses, “And you.”

After a pause, he continued, “I… I heard about your resignation.” He said with a cough, awkwardly looking away from her at the rest of the gala, “You were a hell of a prosecutor.”

“Mmhmm. I know.”

Their veneer of pleasantness held for as long as it could. That being about five seconds of silence before Clive’s sweat became too grand and he turned to Sena with a pitiable look on his face. “I had no idea you wanted to be part of a harem!”

“Oh really?! Were you that dense, Clive?!” Sena’s anger followed very quickly to attack his whimpering defence, “You never picked up that I wanted to have a man? The amount of times I hinted that I was **** for a child?!” Her finger jabbed at his flabby neck flab, the jabbering escaping his mouth to defend his actions just pinging against her rage. “You had so many chances to add me to your, or anyone else’s harems! But no!”

“I-I-I-I-!”

“You made me the pining spinster **** to make others follow the laws of Harem Knights! If not for Master Satou Kazuma’s endless lusts and Mistress Lalatina Dustiness Ford’s massive heart I’d perhaps never have a chance! I certainly wouldn’t be in this r-!”

It was then that Sena realised where she was. Her **** fuelled yelling earning the eyes of everyone around her. A deep blush quickly found her face while she adjusted herself. Embarrassed to the pinnacle that she was the one causing a scene after being adamant about the others.

“It’s good to see you, Clive.” Sena repeated, “You know which table to find me if you’d like to catch up again.”

After finally doing the split up thing, Kazuma had decided to follow Aqua’s lead and head to the food table. Partly to try and bump into her for a one-on-one chat, and also because he was fucking hungry. Luna’s assistance during Breeding Day had dried up after he made it difficult for her to walk without a limp, and he kept getting bombarded with requests whenever he tried to walk through the event to get to the food.

Plus it was royal grub, the best kind of grub! Toad was good, but this was pre-killed veggies mixed with proper seafood and cooked by actual chefs! Not just the by proxy stuff whenever he used his chef skill, the real deal stuff.

He grabbed a plate and quickly began hauling various multicoloured meal scoops onto it. Blue duck pork, fire mushroom risotto, beef fla-

“Satou Kazuma.”

And just like that his night was ruined.

Turning to see a man in a much nicer suit than he, Kazuma was greeted by the frowning face of an old acquaintance. Standing tall with a buff chest, dark hair combed nicely downwards, and the kind of brave man’s jaw/chin combo that always made Kazuma annoyed whenever he saw it. Their rivalry was almost legendary at this point, though most saw it as a ‘why does that one guy think he can compare himself to the great hero?’ which pissed off one side far more than it should. This broad hunk (as voted ‘broadest hunk’ in Axel Teen Girl magazine) in front of Kazuma was another person that had Japanese origins, still bringing his chosen magic sword to a gala that was strapped to his wide back. Kazuma’s urges to steal it again flaring quite drastically.

“Oh look, it’s Matsabushi.”

“Classy. As usual.” Mitsurugi spat back, not even bothering to respond with their usual tit and tat. His face looked down on Kazuma, with perhaps an extra level of revile and anger than usual, which only made Kazuma want to ignore him even harder than usual as he returned to shovelling food onto his plate. “I have more important matters to discuss with you than your probable purposeful forgetting of my name. Namely, you sir are a Harem Knight.”

Kazuma grabbed a spring roll and began chewing on his fancy starter, not really wanting to look at the other Japanese boy anymore. “Mmhmm. Great work detective, I wonder how you figured that out?” He said with only half assed sarcasm, “You tried the food here? Much better than talking.”

Following him down the table of food very closely, Mitsurugi didn’t even look at the plates.

“You are a Harem Knight and you’ve slept… with Lady Aqua. A Goddess.”

“Yyyyep. Though with the sass she’s giving me tonight I totally reg-”

SLAM

In an instant, Kazuma’s tray had clattered against the floor and into the leg of a table while Mitsurugi’s hand clamped around his jacket’s collar. Raising up the smaller man quite effortlessly as he flailed in his grip.

“HEY! What the hell, Matsurabi!?”

“I should be yelling the same at you!” He roared in anger, “How could you sully a Goddess like that?! Aqua is a pure soul! I just need to know what trick or scheme you used to trick the perfect woman into letting you flop around on top of them! Just so I know what level of crime I can execute you with!”

Murmurs and whispers spread through the crowd at the scene in front of them. The waiting staff and knights all silently agreed to see where this went, hoping that the brave knight actually followed through with his threats. Lest Kazuma ever come back for more sleepovers with Iris.

Even Kazuma getting a knee into his face did nothing against a grizzled adventurer like Mitsurugi, “Dick! You’re just fucking jealous aren’t you?!” Kazuma barked, which earned more of a reaction than the knee.

“Of course not! A brave hero would never go after someone as perfect and as pu-”

“Why are you here then? Mr ‘I’m so fucking special and heroic’ wouldn’t get past the front door without an invite!” Kazuma sneered, grabbing Mitsurugi’s own collar through his flails while anger and superiority flowed through his words, “And we both know how you get a fucking invite, don’t we Mitsubishi?”

With a grumble, the taller man dropped his prey in embarrassment. Kazuma fell to the floor to crouch and grab his hurt neck while Mitsurugi sighed in shame. “You figured it out… yes, I too am a Harem Knight for the Donnelly family. I was recruited by her as soon as I set forth in the capitol a few days ago. She demanded I join her, and though I felt an obligation to refuse, her insistence and the King’s blessing eventually made me cave.” He said with some level of shame and pride, all before it turned back to anger towards Kazuma, “but unlike SOME of us, I haven’t defiled a Goddess!”

“But you wanted to with Aqua, right?”

Mitsurugi would have done a spit take if he’d been drinking, “You-! How dare-?! Foul minded!”

“Oh please, I can see it all over your face.” Kazuma rolled his eyes with a shit eating grin, “Come on, you can tell little old me. You’re not a very good liar, dude.”

With a relenting pout, Mitsurugi broke, “Fine. Yes, there was perhaps a tiny thought that floated through my head… if I proved myself to the Donnelly family and this gala as the ultimate Harem Knight that I might be able to show the beautiful Lady Aqua that I… could be worthy of her attention.” His sigh was full of pining and made Kazuma chuckle at him. Mitsurugi pushed back on the smaller man to fuel his rage again, jabbing a finger into Kazuma’s chest while he stumbled backwards, “But you…! YOU!”

“Hey, Aqua wouldn’t ever get far without me anyway.” A cocky Kazuma grinned, dodging around the tables to avoid the bigger man, “She practically lives off my cum.”

“Oh, I’ve heard!” Mitsurugi hissed in seething rage, already clasping at his sword’s hilt while barrelling towards Kazuma, “And what kind of sick spell did you cast to make her that way? How many times did you spike her food with your horrific groyne spawn before she was **** to become your unwitting ****?!”

The two managed to chase each other to the other side of the gala, entering and dodging through the ‘fancy dancing’ section while their chat continued, “Oi. I don’t like what you’re implying here. It's not like I tricked her into being with me-”

“That’s LITERALLY how you met her!”

“...okay. Point taken.” said Kazuma, weaving through a couple dancing past them and using them as a shield to Mitsurugi’s approach, “But then that means she’s my magic item anyway! She’s basically my property!”

“You-!” Mitsurugi threw the dancing couple apart, stomping towards the light-footed Kazuma, “You can’t claim a Goddess as your PROPERTY!”

“He has with me.”

Before their chase could disrupt anymore of the gala, it was suddenly halted by two hands grabbing the pair and bringing them upwards above the crowd. It definitely stopped their childish chase, though perhaps didn’t stop the gala from looking at them the most. Not that that was a problem for their new captor.

“Wha-?! Who are you?!”

“They call me Divane. Goddess of Life, Love, and Light. And since this morning, I am Kazuma’s loyal pet.” She said while her hair blew in the nonexistent wind. Reaching over and nuzzling her face into the small man she had clasped in her left hand while the one in the right gawped.

“Ah, buh, fuh, G-Goddess?”

“She’s basically the Goddess of Goddesses. Even higher on the totem pole than Aqua,” Kazuma hadn’t ever really reciprocated Divane’s advances, but right now he was grabbing her lip and keeping her close while showing off, “Though I WISH you’d stop introducing yourself like that.”

She moaned into his touch, “But it’s true Kazuma! You’ve tamed me like a wild beast and now I will follow you everywhere!”

“Oh yeah, remind me when we get home that Xara wants me to get you a proper collar,” He replied casually, “Maybe a magic one, if Wiz has it. Someway for you to find us again if you get lost.”

“I’m sowwy, did you want to punish your big stupid pet? You know I haven’t been toilet trained either.” She whispered to Mitsurugi like it was a big secret.

Kazuma just sighed, “Thank fuck you only piss beams of light that smell of flowers or else the succubus café would need to be fumigated for how much you’ve been letting loose… oi, you alright over there, Mantaray?”

Mitsurugi was feeling faint. Too much information had been dumped onto his poor innocent soul, “J-just put me down, please.”

The three were soon standing on their own feet, with Mitsurugi shakily looking away from the horrible deviant and Kazuma. He had to take a moment to compose himself and think of what to do next, “I… I may have to kill him…”

“Rude.” Kazuma huffed, “I didn’t make her this way!”

“Kazuma, who is this strange man by the way? Oh! Is he your rival? I do love interesting dynamics like this!” Divane clapped, happy to see such a classic relationship in the flesh, her hands ran up her breasts seductively towards them, “My body can be your battleground if you two secretly wish to go from Rivals to Lovers?”

“NO!” They yelled in unison.

With a shrug, Divane looked happy enough with the yelling, “Suit yourselves.”

“Gah! You’ve definitely crossed the line somewhere, Satou Kazuma!” Mitsurugi insisted, “I have no idea where, but you don’t even deserve to have sex with one woman! Let alone three!”

That made both Divane and Kazuma blink. “Three?”

“Yes! Lady Dustiness, Lady Aqua, and now I find out this poor Lady Divane as well!” He growled while putting his fingers up. With a slightly cocky grin, Mitsurugi crossed his arms confidently, “Though it’s immensely petty of me, at least I know I’ve had more women in my tenure as a Harem Knight than you.”

Mitsurugi was a little confused why the two in front of him were stifling such intense giggling. Kazuma kept it together long enough to ask, “Hee, and, uh, how many is th-ha-at?”

“I’m up to a whopping seven!”

Divane and Kazuma just exploded in laughter. Keeling over themselves, proper belly laughs and wiping tears while leaning on each other kinda laughter. Mitsurugi could only grow redness at their attitude and the resuming of everyone looking at them, but the two did not relent their laughter even slightly. Only hearing occasional words of ‘seven’, ‘low’, and ‘number’ through all the cackles.

Meanwhile, Darkness had been watching on from the Dustiness table. She could have stopped the chase, but there were other things on her mind beyond Kazuma’s strange rivalry with the hero knight. Things that were thrown from her mind as someone sat down on the chair next to her.

“Well, well, well, Lalatina Dustiness Ford, as I live and breathe!”

Darkness turned reluctantly, knowing that voice all too well yet knowing that she had to greet her own long time rival. Standing before her was a sneering face that Darkness always wished she’d never see again. Karen Donnelly was a noble that often plagued the gatherings that Darkness was **** to attend. A girl with brown pigtails and a smaller stature than the crusader, the Donnelly house had a lower standing yet greater wealth than the Dustiness-Fords, which meant that Karen was always trying to prove herself both to the nobles around her and prove herself greater than Darkness. This came out in many ways, such as snide rumours or silly shows of her skill whenever the chance arose.

“Good evening, Karen.” Darkness politely bowed, knowing that her cleavage would irritate the girl, “How lovely to see you again.”

The brown haired girl kept the same level of cordiality to her rival, though the subtext of their pleasantness could be seen by a blind man. “You too~. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that a woman of your body type ended up joining the Harem Knight programme!”

“And likewise, a woman that’s had so many male ‘friends’ over the years as you fits perfectly into the role.” Darkness shot back. The air practically exploded between them as they traded hot blows and cold daggers. “Your father approved of you being the Donnelly family’s knight?”

The smugness on Karen’s face was palpable, “Oh no, Lalatina-sama. I feel we both took similar back seats to become overseers of our great knights. Oh look! There they are now~ having a lovely chat together. Which one was yours again?” She pointed over to where Kazuma, Divane, and Mitsurugi were all together, the former finally having stopped laughing.

It was a real win for Karen. Years of playing second fiddle to the Dustiness-Fords and their endless ‘empathy’ the King loved so much meant nothing to Harem Knights! Karen was feeling so superior to her rival having claimed the great knight as her Champion and breeder!

But Darkness just blinked.

“Him? You seriously went with that guy?”

“Wahaha! Your tears are as juicy as your-!”

...

Karen blinked back.

A pause hung between them as they looked at each other with confusion.

“...uh, wait, that’s my line, isn’t it? I got the beefcake hero and you got that little weedy nobody…” Her explanation sounded logical yet the cringe on Darkness’ face made her second guess so many things, “W-what is it? What are you talking about?!”

Pity, awkwardness, and a lot of thought crossed over Darkness’ face. “...it’s just he’s… no, I shouldn’t-I’m happy for you, Karen. Really. Please, excuse me.”

“Wha-?!” Karen was shocked at how quickly the blonde darted away, looking between her and Mitsurugi with so much confusion. “Wh-what’s wrong with him?!”