In-A-Gala-Da-Vida (Part 2: Bath After Breeding)

It was a wonderful bright day in Axel. A wintery chill had clung to the air in these shorter days, but the sky was clear and the sun had stayed shining to warm the townsfolk as they went about their days. And Aqua was miserable.

The blue haired Goddess sat on a stone step, staring with frustration towards nothing in particular while she waited. The sounds of vigorous washing were going on inside the hot bath that her harem owned. Both Darkness and Kazuma were covered in sexual filth, which was very much not what you wanted to be wearing while meeting royalty. Sena stood watch just outside the building, while loud conversations kept Aqua from escaping the world into her thoughts.

“This one says that you were very good at finding a g-spot!”

“Hell yeah I was!” yelled Kazuma from inside, “Darkness can attest to that!” -Slap!-

“Oh! K-Kazuma~ we need to k-keep cleaning~!”

Aqua rolled her eyes. Those two were perhaps the furthest possible thing from subtle, and it felt like a jab in her gut every time they loudly showed affection for each other. She wished Megumin was here, just to have someone else to talk to and distract her, but no. The goddess was stuck on the road trip from lower heaven. Unable to back out since this was her harem, and therefore harem event, too.

“Those reviews are a weird touch,” a naked Kazuma frowned while walking out the bathhouse, cock swinging in the wind while he towelled off his hair, “Even if most of them are positive, I still feel like I’m being judged too much when I read all those words. Why’d we bring them?”

Sena adjusted her glasses while handing him his formal attire to change into, “Not only is it a way for people to give their feedback for next year’s Breeding Day, the stack should provide excellent fodder for our argument for a higher bursary. Lady Luna started the idea more for her business and the other waitresses, but it definitely works out well in our favour… mostly.” She explained, handing the boy a piece of paper with his suit.

With a raised eyebrow, Kazuma read the review, “‘He came…’... ‘He came in my salad!?’ That lady asked me to! Why is she reviewing me like I’m some mad idiot who just goes around jizzing on leaves?!”

Sena didn’t look him in the eyes.

“I DON’T!”

She still didn’t meet his intense gaze, “I mean… Lady Saffron the Dryad…?”

“Oi, that doesn’t count!” He loudly huffed and threw his hands in the air, walking back into the bathhouse to continue changing, “Anyway, we got any backup plans if Iris doesn’t say yes to our money problems?”

Darkness’ voice echoed from the bath again, “We could always go on quests again? We would have gotten a lot for doing the Sylvia quest, if we didn’t have to pay off her debt to the government.”

“We already know that’s Plan Z, babe.” said Kazuma, “Get rich quick schemes don’t happen with long hard work, they’re kind of oxymorons… uh, b-babe…” His final word sounded very unsure of itself, like he’d caught himself suddenly saying something he hadn't meant to.

“Oh, don’t worry! I liked it! Uhm, h-honey?”

An awkward pause hung in the air. Pet names weren’t exactly something either were used to, but even while they didn’t share a space it felt weird to try.

“Let’s please keep talking about business, Mistress Darkness, Master Satou Kazuma,” Sena’s voice reprimanded them, “In terms of making more income, can we start asking for monetary donations from the churches that worship you?"

A long sigh was let out from Kazuma’s side, “Turns out, Cecily owns the likeness to my dick, most of the income is gonna go to her..." He groaned, though hope seemed to be returning to his heart, "...but hey, you used to be a prosecutor, right? So maybe we can legally get that back again?"

Darkness made an agreeable grunt, "If anyone can, Sena can. She's amazing like that.” The blush on the prosecutor was subtle, but present. “But we should save this talk for now or else we may run late. Are you ready to go?”

The two came out of the two different changing areas at the same time. On the left was the contender for best dressed woman wearing the least amount of fabric above her navel possible. Darkness’ dress at least covered the important parts, but not by enough to be considered real clothes. The white dress had spaghetti straps connected to a pure white choker around her neck, putting a lot of strain on the small strings to hold up her massive breasts. Cleavage was on peak eye-catching duty today, with the velvet dress barely covering the lower left/right adjacent thirds of her tits. Most of the rest of her was elegantly flowing downwards, and though there was a cut out for her belly button, the long sleeves connected to her elbows and the creamy ruffles that reached to the floor did make up for the top half’s sluttiness. If it wasn’t for the earrings, Darkness would’ve known better than to choose such a bold outfit. But she knew it would arouse the man she cared about the most, and that’s what ultimately mattered to her.

On the other side was the rarely seen Suited-Kazuma. He was clearly a little uncomfortable in a shirt and tie, pulling at his neckline a little while getting comfy, but he still looked sharp in it. Kazuma was amazed that the spider weaver had made him such an incredible suit so quickly, commenting how it would make him look like ‘Tadanobu Asano’, which did confuse the spider woman. He wasn’t disappointed by the results, but after spending all day in one’s birthday suit, a regular suit is a little bit of a constricting downgrade.

“Yeah, I’m ready. How do you look so great in everything you wear by the way?” He said, quickly grabbing his girlfriend and pecking her giggling neckline a couple times for good measure. The two began walking towards where Aqua was sitting, hand in hand, much to her chagrin. “How about you, Sena? Ready to go?”

Sena sighed, her own dress much more modest than Darkness’ but still showing off some of her best assets with how tightly she wore the black velvet. “Seeing old co-workers there will be awkward… but I am proud to be at your service for your harem. Getting through one evening will be easy if it means that none of you go to jail.”

“Amen to that!” Kazuma slightly nervously agreed, “Aqua?”

“I’ve been ready to go for ages.” She snapped back, only slightly turning to catch a glimpse at their outfits. Her own attire was just her usual Goddess garb, saying that it was elegant enough since she was elegant already (though she did bust out her special hagoromo for good measure). “I’m not the one who’s making us late. Some of us didn’t have to be a slut all over town today, Kazuma.”

He chewed a little on the jab before shrugging, “I mean, ‘Breeding Day’? Yeah, I was kind of a man-slut there, hehe.”

Darkness was a little more concerned with Aqua’s attitude, “Um, Aqua? Is everything o-?”

“I am also ready to go!”

Everyone was rather surprised by the sudden appearance of one gigantic blonde lady. Her attire finally was not one of just cum that they’d left her with, but the long white revealing robes they’d initially found her in.

“D-Divane?! What are you doing here?!”

The woman gave a haughty chuckle down to the little humans, “Why, you wish to make a good impression, no? I invited myself along to this soiree as extra insurance for your quest! But if you wish to reject me then I shall accept that fate too! Either way, Momma’s happy~”

Kazuma rubbed his temples as the other girls cringed a little at her. Sena was the only one to actually consider it.

“Honestly? It couldn’t hurt. We’d certainly stand out, and it’s hard to deny our need for extra funds when we have a literal Goddess on our side.”

“Ex-CUSE me?!” Aqua huffed.

“People can never tell you’re a pure deity because you’re always drinking yourself stupid,” said Kazuma casually, mostly as a reflex to her attitude from before, “Not that Big Miss Masochist over there is much better, but at least she looks the part when she isn’t creaming herself.” His words cut deep to both women, but he shrugged off their scoffs and moans, “Let’s just bring her along. We’re running low on time anyway.”

With begrudging agreement, the group quickly got into position on the teleport circle. Some level of squishing and toe stepping required to get Divane inside, but eventually the spell around them started up properly.

The teleport activated and the five of them vanished into a beam of light.

“WAIT! WAIIITTT!!!! Oh no… they’re gone!”

The group arrived at their destination and quickly boarded their wagon. Travel arrangements were already organised by the very dutiful Sena, though obviously there was no time to order a wagon big enough for Divane to sit in. Thankfully the huge woman was fine with just walking next to them as they began their journey to the castle proper.

Aqua had quickly called ‘front seat’ and sat herself next to the driver. He was weirded out by it, but was polite enough to not cause a fuss for his passengers. If the pretty lady wanted to be closer to the horses pulling them he was happy to oblige.

In the back, Sena had begun rattling off more plans and ideas to keep their various businesses afloat. Legalise, technical jargon, all of it flew right over the heads of the lovebirds sitting together opposite her. The firm hand on Darkness’ thick thigh was an instant attention grabber. And the way she leant her rosy scented hair on his shoulder made Kazuma’s thoughts fall all to the wayside as they travelled.

“Aaannd my words fall on deaf ears.” Sena suddenly slammed her notebook shut. “Fine! If you two want to go to jail, then you have only yourselves to blame!”

Both Kazuma and Darkness groaned at her pouting anger, “Awww, hey now, don’t be upset! We were listening!”

“No, we weren’t.” The better half admitted, giving her man a slightly unimpressed side-eye, “There’s no point lying to her. I’m sorry, Sena. You do very good work, and we should listen to you. But my nerves are a little shaky for this event and I was just mentally preparing myself by leaning on Kazuma.”

The brutal honesty and apology definitely deflated any anger that the secretary had been simmering, “Fair enough. I suppose I was using my own coping method to throw myself into work mode… M-Mistress Darkness?!” In a sudden turn, the blonde had switched cart sides to land herself next to Sena. Arm already around the other woman’s shoulder, the knight was smiling at her secretary rather lewdly.

“Let’s combine our methods and make you work on me for a bit.” Darkness giggled, lecherously lurching towards Sena to capture her lips. The spectacled woman melted almost instantly into her favourite taste in the whole world, letting her superior’s tongue dive into her mouth while her boyfriend smirked from the other side of the carriage.

“Ohh yeah, you two in those dresses that are just ripe for ripping…” He lightly petted his crotch while watching the two. Watching with particular interest as their chests squeezed together, “Hmmm~ Yo, Aqua! We probably have enough time for a treat if you want it!”

He was a little surprised when she didn’t come barreling through the small front window out of hunger, “Nope! I’m not even thinking about your cum at all!” She insisted, closing the tiny curtain and returning to huff next to the driver.

Without any reason to pursue her, Kazuma decided instead just to help mess around with Sena. Licking her exposed neck from the other side as Darkness held her face firmly against her own.

“They’re ignoring me!” Divane moaned, biting at one of her fingernails in sheer glee, “The humans have managed to forget all about their most attractive member! Treating her like a mule, forcing me to walk miles upon miles! HNG!”

Moans from her ex-boss, and lewd giggles/slurps from the backseat. Aqua tried her best to ignore it all, but she knew that she also secretly wished to be back there having fun with everyone. “Ugh, the sooner we beat the Demon King the better…” Aqua groaned, wishing for nothing more than to be done with this day, and for the first time in a while felt maybe she wanted to be back to Heaven.

“Ha, good one.”

It had been the driver to respond to her ambivalent groaning. The Goddess sitting next to him raised an annoyed eyebrow, “Uh, rude. What the hell are you implying?”

He looked at her with surprise, “No, lil’ missy, I didn’t- unless of course you mean you already… um, did you?” He asked, barely making sense but seemingly studying Aqua’s confused expressions. “No, nevermind. Guess not.”

Her annoyance level was ticking higher and higher, “What?! What don’t you guess?!”

“Wait, didn’t you hear? About, you-know-who?”

“Sena! Our driver’s broken!”

Pushing off her two attackers out of fear their carriage was faulty, Sena shuffled forwards through the small window to see what was happening, “What’s the problem?!”

“He keeps talking but not saying anything, I think we should go back and get a new one.” She pointed directly at his chest with a grimace on her face.

“What? I’m not broken! I just didn’t want to say the Demon King!” He said in a defensive tone, though then he looked up to the sky in thought, “...though, I guess that superstition doesn’t matter anymore, huh? Hahaha!” A relieved smile passed by his lips.

“See? He keeps saying nothing!”

With a shake of his head, the driver just shrugged it off, “Apologies, I forget sometimes people aren’t as connected as us taxi folk. Perhaps the news hasn’t hit Axel yet,” The man smiled, “Though the news is so big that I’m surprised the Heavens themselves aren’t yelling in praise!”

Before Aqua could yell at him again, Sena seemed to latch onto his strange subtext, “Hang on. What you’re saying… you can’t possibly mean?”

“Ayup! The Demon King is gone!”