Identity crisis

Buffy looked up at the brown-haired woman looking down upon her and the naked woman lying upon her chest and asked, "Mom? Is that you?"

"Why, Buffy," said the woman, "can't you tel -- Oh, right. You can't."

Then she turned to the naked woman on Buffy's chest and said, "Get off her, Faith. It's over."

The woman on Buffy's chest just turned and said, "No, it isn't, Joyce. It isn't over. It will never be over. And even if it was, it turns out that your little girl isn't as innocent as you would like her to be. Among other things, she likes to kiss girls. And go naked. And -- "

The woman called Faith never finished her last sentence. Midway through it, the brown-haired woman clenched her left fist and decked her with a **** Buffy had not believed possible.

"That's for attacking me and my daughter," said the woman whom Buffy now considered to be Joyce-in-Faith (as opposed to Faith-in-Joyce who was now lying **** on the floor besides her.)

"Oh, Mom!" exclaimed Buffy as she stood up and embraced her mother. "Thank God you're all right. When I realized that Faith had stolen your body, I was afraid that something bad had happened to you."

"Something did," said Joyce. "But I managed to get away. Now all we have to do is tie Faith up and call the police."

"But we can't call the police," said Buffy. "Not while you're in Faith's body. Otherwise, they'll take you away."

"Well, then call Mr. Giles," said Joyce-in-Faith. "Perhaps he knows of a way to reverse the spell."

"That's a good idea," said Buffy.

She started to leave the room.

"Oh, Buffy," said Joyce-in-Faith.

Buffy paused.

"Yes, Mom," she said.

"Why exactly were you naked with Faith to begin with?" asked Joyce-in-Faith.

"Long story," said Buffy. "I'll tell you later."

"Okay," said Joyce. "I know it's none of my business but is it true what she said about you liking to kiss girls? Not that there's anything wrong with that but I'd like to know whether or not I should expect you to possibly give me grandchildren someday."

"Mom!" exclaimed Buffy.

With that, she started to leave the room.

But before she could move, the front door burst open and in walked an armed trio of men dressed in black trench coats and balaclavas.

"We're from the Watchers Council and we're here to arrest Faith Lehane," said the largest of the three.

"Would you believe that's her right there?" asked Buffy, pointing to the naked body of Joyce Summers.

"Nice try," said the Watchers Council rep. "But we see the real Faith Lehane right there besides you and we're taking her in."

"I can't let you do that," said Buffy.

"You don't have a choice," said the Watchers Council rep.

"Oh, yes, I do," said Buffy. "Just talk to Giles and --"

"Rupert Giles is no longer in a position of authority as far as the Watchers Council is concerned," said the Watchers Council rep. "So I'd stand down if I were you."

"You can't ask me to stand down," said Buffy. "I'm the Slayer."

"Well, in that case, you're obviously out of uniform," said the Watchers Council rep. "Now stand aside or else we'll be taking in two rogue Slayers."