I wish I had some motivation (Activity Tracker, Ponygirl)

Zoe White brought another pinch of trail mix up to her mouth with one hand, while her other continued to roll the scroll wheel of her mouse mindlessly.

She was bored.

For the last two months, Zoe had been perpetually bored.

She sat alone in her room in the graduate house that her parents had paid for just off campus, draped in an over-sized hoodie emblazoned with the school letters and ‘Athletics Club’ across the back, her long red hair tied up and back in her customary ponytail.

She knew she was lucky – and that she should be more than comfortable, more than grateful – there weren’t many 23 year olds in a better place than her. She came from a family with money, not ‘rich’ by her own definition, but rich enough that, combined with her scholarship, her parents could afford to keep her and her best friend, her only housemate, Katie, with a roof over both their heads, plus some spending money on top.

Since graduating, her parents had paid for their lease to be extended by an extra six months, covered their rent and bills, so that Zoe had, in their words; ‘time to work out what she wanted to do next’, ‘to find a passion’ and ‘start a career’.

The problem for Zoe was that, until now, her passion had been running.

It was what she’d focussed on since she was in junior high and her coaches noticed she was quick. It was what had earned her college scholarship, and what had been her main escape and her focus during her years on campus. She’d built up and up for the national championships all her life – only to finish 31st…

Zoe groaned thinking about it again.

31st in the country.

Zoe knew it wasn't a 'failure', but it didn't feel like a success either. She’d never be an Olympian, she’d never get big sponsorship deals, and she’d not be able to make running her career. So now she had to re-focus, and find something else to do with her life…

Two months later – she still didn’t know what that was going to be.

She hadn’t really run since the finals – other than an occasional morning jog.

Why train when there was nothing left to train for?

Why work when there was nothing to work for?

No, Zoe had stayed in the house mostly – spending her time scrolling through job postings for ‘graduate positions’ that all inexplicably required 5 years’ experience, and random internet sites. She had to find something to do with her bachelors in ‘Sports Psychology’ that didn’t bore her to .

Great.

She brought another pinch of trail mix to her mouth.

Katie was doing better, Zoe knew, her bubbly blonde best friend had started an internship at some company Zoe couldn’t remember the name of, doing something boring at a desk that made Zoe cringe.

The unfortunate consequence for the ex-athlete, was she now found herself alone in the house during the day, as Katie had normally left for work before she got up, and wasn’t back until the evening. She looked at the time – 2 O’clock in the afternoon… Katie wouldn’t be back until 7… and as her mind drifted to time, another voice rung out in her head,

4 months.

That was the problem, Zoe knew. She had always procrastinated – and that deadline to ‘find her career’ was so far away… 4 more months… she could afford to just keep scrolling…

Without taking her eyes off the screen, the red-head reached for another handful of her snack, but missed. Sending the bowl and its contents sprawling across the floor

“Shit…” She hissed, slipping from her chair and dropping to her hands and knees to clean up the mess.

She banged her head on the desk on the way back up and Zoe groaned, rubbing her head in annoyance.

It was only then that she looked back at the screen on her computer – she wasn’t sure what had happened – if she’d clicked on a link by mistake or something. But the website she was looking at now definitely wasn’t the one with the cute cat pictures she’d been looking at a moment ago.

A stone spiral sat above some plain white text – no formatting, nothing. The website looked like some relic from the 90s.

From her knees, head poked over the desk, the girl read the wording on the screen, raising an eyebrow sceptically as she skimmed it,

…Why do some live lives of luxury idly, while others starve exhausted? ... a rule applied to one may help, but to all will only lead to pain… What rule do you desire? What one thing would make your life perfect? … speak your heart's truest wish, the one that will make your life complete…

“What?” Zoe scoffed aloud, still rubbing her head. Though the language was bizarre, the red-head was bored and she couldn’t help but consider it... She closed her eyes and tried to think about what her ‘heart’s truest wish’ would be right now…

“Honestly, I wish I had some motivation”