I never let them see the worst of me

“…And sneaking chili peppers into someone’s meal when I’m not looking is not a nice thing to do!” Mary was getting a lot of practice at being a disapproving mother tonight. She had the finger-wagging down perfect, along with the “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” speech, even though she seemed pretty mad.

Meanwhile, Ella just sat on the couch with her hands folded in her lap, quietly nodding along to the other woman’s rebuke.

“Come on, Mary, it’s not a big deal,” Nick said, almost starting to feel bad for the girl who may or may not have been trying to poison him. “She was just, um… trying to… have fun. …At our expense. …I guess…”

Ella gave him a dejected look. Morgana walked over and patted him lightly on the arm.

Mary was not that impressed herself. But she should have expected Nick to do Nick things, and try and stick up for Ella like that. It was one of his best- and worst- qualities.

Sighing, she crossed her arms over her chest. “…Anyway, Morgana can’t have spicy food! What were you thinking?!”

“I can have spicy food!” Morgana protested. “I’m not a little kid! I just don’t LIKE it!”

“It was just supposed to b-be a prank…” Ella scratched at her wrist, twisting her fingers through her rubber-band. She hadn’t snapped it yet, but she was clearly on the brink. “I just thought… it would break the ice a little… you know… lighten… lighten the mood…”

Nick wasn’t sure he liked this side of Ella that was starting to manifest, where the girl enjoyed tormenting him. They’d had so much fun yesterday, he thought they’d grown closer and were making real progress on their friendship. But evidently she was looking for opportunities to poison him with spices?!

For a brief moment their eyes met, and Ella’s face turned scarlet. She quickly averted her eyes, her knocking knees bumping against one another.

“I… I have no excuse,” she surrendered, slumping down in her seat. “…But I only did it to Nick’s food, not Morgana’s! That… that has to count for something, right?”

She looked desperately to Morgana for support, and the goth girl felt relieved.

Mary was less enthused.

“Ella, I know you like spicy food, but we’ve had enough people put things in other people’s meals this round,” Mary said, placing her hands on her hips. “I think it’s only fair that you be the one to eat the spicy dish you meant for Nick.”

Ella’s mouth dropped open. She clearly wanted to protest, and a flash of anxiety surged through Nick’s chest when he saw her reaction. As justified as Mary might be, she was still dealing with Ella, and the shy girl’s self-esteem issues were far from fixed. Nick was worried that if Mary pressed the issue like this, Ella might-

“…Okay… I’ll… I’ll eat it…” Ella sighed, slumping over in defeat. She snapped her rubber-band against her wrist.

Nick was surprised. With how easy to upset Ella tended to be, he expected a freak-out. But she actually took that rather well!

He almost felt proud of her. Except for the part where she tried to surreptitiously poison him with spicy food for reasons unknown. That kind of soured his pride.

Mary, deciding that was good enough, allowed Ella to get back to work while she went and whipped something up in the kitchen for Nick to eat instead. This gave Nick the opportunity to intercept Ella before she started cleaning again. He was supposed to be spending time with Morgana right now, but he didn’t want to neglect the other woman either.

Ella jumped when he approached her, stiffening up and averting her eyes immediately. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Ella…”

“S-sorry!” Ella stammered out, her eyes spinning in her head.

She started fidgeting with her rubber-band again. “Thwap! Thwap!”

“It’s fine,” Nick assured her with a smile. Having spent all day with Morgana, he’d gotten used to girls freaking out and getting nervous when he tried to bring up sensitive topics to them. “I’m not upset that you tried to poison me.”

Ella’s shoulders sagged. She pouted a little, her complexion still ruddy with embarrassment and a hint of irritation. “I didn’t… can we not say poisoned, please? It wasn’t even going to be that hot, just a little bit of tabasco in the pasta sauce…”

That probably wouldn’t have been so bad, Nick agreed. Still he couldn’t help but wonder what the heck the flustered girl was thinking.

“So… why?” He asked her. “Of all the ways I can think of to break the ice, that one seems a little…” He gave her a shrug.

Ella looked away again, her cheeks red. “…Please don’t make me say it,” she mumbled, covering her face with her arms like she was trying to shield her identity from his prying eyes. “Please?”

Nick was just more confused. Then he felt Morgana tug on his shirt.

“Maybe, um, maybe I can talk to her?” The goth girl suggested. “We’re friends, after all.”

Nick considered that possibility, and ultimately decided it was probably the best course of action. If he left this up to Morgana, he figured that she’d be able to talk some sense into the other girl, or at least that Ella would open up to her.

He might have gotten closer to the slightly-unstable maid, but as much fun as they’d had on their date together, Ella hadn’t opened up that much to him, sadly. Maybe with Morgana that could change.

So he stepped aside and gave the two of them some space. Ella got back to awkwardly cleaning while Morgana hung out beside her, trying to figure out a way to express herself.

“So… you like spicy food?”

That was probably not the best place to start. But Morgana couldn’t help herself! This wasn’t exactly an easy topic for her, after all! She was trying the best she could!

Ella looked back at her with a sour expression on her lips. “Um… not… not really…”

“Then why did you put chili peppers in Nick’s food?” Morgana asked.

“It was tabasco sauce!” Ella protested, like that somehow made it better.

Morgana just stared blankly at her.

“…I thought it would be funny,” Ella finally admitted. “The other night, um, I cooked for Nick… and the food I made was a little spicier than I expected… he got really flustered, we both did… then this morning, I spiced up his omelet and he got all fussy… it… it was kind of cute, so…”

Her face was glowing now, and Morgana thought she had a pretty good idea why Ella might have been feeling this way.

“So… you… you liked teasing him like that?” Morgana ventured hesitantly. She was close with Ella, but in spite of how confident she’d sounded talking to Nick earlier, she wasn’t certain that she was close enough to the girl for Ella to fully confide in her.

Then again, judging by how Ella was looking at her, maybe she didn’t need to worry about that.

She seemed less proud, and more… embarrassed.

“It’s not like… I like it…” Ella mumbled, fidgeting with her rubber-band. “I just think it’s a little… cute? …I know, it’s weird! But… it’s… how do I describe it…”

She glanced back at Morgana, and they made eye contact for a fraction of a second. Then Ella looked away and blushed.

Yup, definitely embarrassed, Morgana thought, judging the sulky expression that took over the other woman’s face.

“…I’m sorry,” Ella mumbled again. “I think I just wanted to have a bit of fun… since he was going to spend time with you, I thought maybe… maybe if I played a little prank… he might remember that I’m here, too…”

Morgana blinked. That explained the sulky expression.

It wasn’t a good explanation, though.

“So you’re… jealous?” Morgana frankly couldn’t believe it. The idea that someone could be jealous of her…

“No!” Ella protested. “It’s just… I don’t want to be forgotten, that’s all…”

Morgana shook her head and sighed, trying not to grin too widely. “Oh, Ella… you have nothing to worry about, trust me.”

Ella blinked. “I don’t?”

“Yeah, Nick is really nice and thoughtful!” Morgana pressed the tips of her fingers together and swooned, getting a dreamy expression on her face as she thought about how her date had ended up going today. “Before today… I was really worried. I haven’t spent any time together with Nick at all this round, really, so I thought… I thought that maybe he wouldn’t really care if we had a good time together or not, you know? Like… I was just an obligation to him… he has so many other women in his life, and it sounded like you two had so much fun together… whereas with me…”

She looked down at her scrawny figure. It was nothing like the body she was used to, no, this… this was something completely different. Slowly she raised her head and looked Ella in the eyes.

“I thought… the only thing I was good for was sex,” she confessed. “Not that Nick’s shallow or anything!” Morgana shook her head quickly, hoping to disabuse Ella of that idea. “I know he would never think that the only value I gave him was sex! But… even if he didn’t think it, I wondered… what else could I really offer him?”

Ella shrank a little. She began to twist her rubber-band again. Because what Morgana was describing, it sounded really… bad.

Since Ella hadn’t even had sex with him yet!

Sensing the worry in the other woman’s attitude, Morgana quickly waved her hands. “But I was totally wrong to think that!” She hastily clarified. “Nick and I, our relationship, it’s totally not like that! Not at all, I swear!”

A sigh of relief escaped Ella’s lips. “O-oh… okay…”

She felt… a little better. But she still wasn’t sure what Morgana was trying to say to help her feel better.

In fairness, Morgana wasn’t sure she could help the other woman feel better either.

Bashfully Morgana scratched her cheek, and looked down. “Um… s-so, yeah, that’s… that’s kind of where I am right now, I mean… yeah.”

Ella just stared blankly at her. “Okay?”

Morgana bit her lip. It wasn’t working. She was trying to be supportive and encouraging and cool, like Serenity had helped her today, but…

She took a deep breath and refocused. Thankfully it did help her calm down a little bit. “…What I’m trying to say is that Nick… he’s really sweet,” she stated firmly. “I was all worried about what he’d think about me, but the truth is, he really cares! We had a lovely time together, even though I was afraid that… that he would just be going through the motions. But that isn’t the case! So… don’t worry, okay? Just because Nick’s with other girls, that… that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about you, and that he’ll forget about you or anything.”

It was a clumsy and awkward explanation, much like Morgana herself. But it actually did help Ella feel a little better. She nodded slowly, accepting the woman’s words for what they were, and she even gave Morgana a little smile.

“Well… okay,” she conceded. “You’re right, maybe… maybe I was getting worried about nothing…”

Ella remembered how considerate Nick had been on their own date together, giving her plenty of allowance for Cinder and still trying to have a good time in spite of her many problems. She’d never felt more seen and accepted than she did yesterday.

“…So you don’t have to poison him,” Morgana finished.

Ella scowled. “I-I didn’t-! It’s not p-poison, it was just a prank!” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

It was just meant to be a little bit of fun. Was it really so bad?

Morgana wasn’t sure what to say, but she definitely knew better than to endorse this behavior from the flustered maid, so she just nodded awkwardly, finding it best not to push the subject.

“So, um… I’ll… I’ll let you get back to your cleaning,” she awkwardly said, shuffling clumsily off.

“Wait, Morgana!”

Morgana turned, surprised by Ella’s sudden outburst. The latina had an awkward expression on her face, and her cheeks had a new pink dusting over them. Their eyes met briefly, but it was Ella who looked away again.

It was a weird experience. Morgana was used to being the one to avert her gaze from people.

“I… I brought something for you,” Ella said awkwardly, walking over to the door and picking up a bag she’d left beside it. She returned to Morgana a second later, clutching it tightly to her chest. “…Here. Um… for you.”

A clumsy and awkward gesture. Morgana knew those all too well. Hesitating only for a moment she took the bag from her friend and checked to see what was inside.

She gasped.

“Oh my gosh! This… this is-!”

It was a panther, a cute little stuffed panther. With eyes like gold marbles being the only spark of color on an otherwise black surface, it was staring up at her, so snuggable and cute Morgana nearly gushed with joy.

“This… it’s really for me?” She questioned in disbelief, looking at Ella.

Ella was finding it hard to look back at her again.

“It’s not that big a deal!” She groused, scratching her head. She was really messing up her neat haircut with her fingernails, so much so that she almost looked like Cinder. “I just… at the gift shop yesterday I went shopping, and I found a few things… I didn’t have the chance to give it to you this morning, so… yeah…”

Morgana’s heart skipped a beat. Ella had picked this out for her. Because they were friends. She knew that Morgana would have liked a black cat (or in this case a panther) and so she bought this one especially for her.

What could Morgana even say to that?

“Oh, thank you!” The words just leapt from her lips without even thinking. She clutched the stuffed animal tightly and lovingly to her chest. “I love it so much, thank you, Ella!”

“Eheh… uh… yeah, yuh-you’re welcome,” Ella stammered, her face heating up again. She kept scratching her head, looking just about everywhere but Morgana’s eyes.

She squirmed a little, and Morgana suddenly realized that she hadn’t been watching her voice level at all.

And she’d been talking a lot.

“Oh gosh!” Morgana did it again! She clamped her hand quickly over her mouth to shut herself up, before she made any other mistakes. Face pale, she looked at Ella, and saw the heat in the other woman’s gaze.

And Ella kept glancing over at Nick.

“Gulp.”

Morgana’s gulp was so loud and distinct it might have triggered Sotto Voce itself. Hopefully it didn’t, there was enough of that already it seemed. Clearing her throat, Morgana thanked Ella again, this time adjusting her voice so it wasn’t the usual pitch. That was the best she could do.

“Thank you for this… again. It really means a lot that you got this for me, Ella,” Morgana said, looking down longingly at the stuffed animal as she turned it over in her hands.

Now she felt bad.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything in return-”

“No!” Ella blurted out, snapping her gaze back towards Morgana. There was a wild gleam in her eyes. She quickly shook her head. “No, I… that is, you don’t… you don’t need to, um, worry about… stuff like that,” Ella assured her, fumbling for her rubber-band. “I didn’t get that for you so that you’d, um, owe me, or anything like that… I just… wanted you to have it.”

Her heart pounded uncomfortably in her chest. She wanted so desperately for Cinder to take over and bail her out of this, but in her heart she knew that couldn’t happen. Not right now.

“Thwap!”

Don’t come out, Cinder! You can’t! Ella pleaded with her other self. If you come out right now with Nick here, he’s going to give you a big steamy kiss like he promised! But tonight is Morgana’s night, and that would ruin it!

That was the last thing Ella wanted, to mess up her friend’s date. In ways that didn’t involve spicy food, anyway.

“Thwap!” She snapped her rubber-band again, just to make sure.

Morgana wasn’t sure how to respond to the panicked expression on her friend’s face. She really cared about Ella and was touched by the other girl’s gesture. How could she make it up to her?

“Still… we’re friends,” Morgana said softly, trying to keep from inadvertently turning the poor, flustered girl on with her voice any more. “You did this for me, and it was so nice… I just wish I could do something for you…”

She looked hopefully at her friend, trying to communicate with her that this wasn’t about feeling like she owed something or needed to pay her back.

They were friends, and she was grateful! She wanted to do something nice for Ella, but what?

“It really means a lot to me, that you gave me this,” Morgana said, holding up the stuffed animal. “The truth is… I didn’t have very many friends growing up… certainly none who would have done something this nice for me…”

“Me neither,” Ella said, barking out a harsh laugh that made Morgana wince.

She bit the inside of her cheek. “So, um… yeah…” With an awkward smile on her face, Morgana clutched the stuffed animal tighter. “Can I… do something for you? Since, uh, we’re friends?”

Talk about uncomfortable. She was just trying to be nice, why was it so hard?

Ella scrunched up her face thoughtfully. She appreciated the gesture, she did, but…

“Well for one thing, um… maybe… maybe leave it out of your bed, tonight, anyway,” Ella mumbled out, her eyes drifting down to the stuffed panther. “It would be kind of weird to sleep with it after, uh… you know.”

She glanced at Nick again and Morgana turned bright red.

“Ob-obviously not!” She sputtered, shaking her head. Morgana knew it was partially her fault that Ella was thinking like that, thanks to her Sotto Voce transformation. But that didn’t mean she was happy to hear something like that!

Ella giggled, relaxing a little. It was nice, having a friend she could talk to like this. And she especially liked how flustered Morgana always got. It reminded her of Nick’s face after that omelet this morning.