I know the words by heart, I know every line

Memories were a tricky thing. Especially when they were so easily warped by the magic of the Harem Hotel. Nick had two sets of memories about his time in college (with a third overlapping, thanks to Marley’s exit transformation).

The time he spent with Dakota was vivid, and he embraced it wholeheartedly. Those were the days he wished he had lived.

But he couldn’t deny what had happened in the “real” timeline, because those memories were present there, too. And it was in those memories that he’d truly written his book. Oh, he’d done the same thing in the other timeline as well, but that was more… “fluff” than substance. He’d made it up whole cloth.

In the real timeline… that’s when those words had teeth behind them.

So as loathe as he was to embrace those memories… that was what he had to do, to reach out to the girl sitting beside him.

Six years ago…

“So it’s just the three of us today, huh?” Nick asked, looking around the lounge. The writing club always met in the lounge on Fridays to go over the stuff they’d written, but they were hemorrhaging members. Apparently, Nick, Holly, and Mary were the only students in college who consistently had no plans on a Friday night.

Nick didn’t really mind, though. The two of them were great friends, and he enjoyed their company immensely.

And Holly… maybe she could be something more than that.

“I don’t really mind it being this small of a group,” Holly said, sitting down next to Nick. Was she a little closer than usual?

She always sat next to him, and sometimes he caught her looking his way. According to all the “does she like me or not?” quizzes online that he looked up, that was a definite sign. He felt so certain that she liked him. But he held off. He didn’t want to push his luck, just in the off chance that he was wrong.

At least, he wasn’t ready yet.

“It shows that we’re the ones who are serious about getting writing done! Especially you, Mary!” The short girl continued, giving a dazzling smile to the shy redhead across from her. The way the lounge area was set up in the student center, there were couches and armchairs and all sorts of stuff, and the girls had picked out a spot ringed around a table. There were more than enough seats for everyone to have their own, but Holly had insisted their first day there that they share a couch.

Nick, of course, hadn’t objected, and the pattern had held ever since. Across from them sat Mary, their freshman friend, who hid herself behind her blushing freckled face and frumpy sweaters. But while she was very nonconfrontational in real life, when it came to her writing she was prolific.

She’d written two chapters since last week. Or, another way of saying that, she wrote two chapters in just one week.

Very impressive for a girl who took Sundays off.

“Okay, let’s take a look at this…” Holly unzipped her backpack and took out the papers. Even though Mary always emailed her chapters out to the group, Holly printed them out. She said it helped her editing process to really feel the pages in her hands. Something about the tactile sensation of it all.

Nick didn’t really get it, but there was a lot about Holly that he found kind of weird, so he didn’t say anything.

“Let’s see… I think this chapter had a really good start, but maybe this line here… what if it was written like… oh! Whoops.”

Holly dug around in her backpack, and then flashed a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I must have lost my pen in class. That’s okay… I guess we could…”

Her eyes landed on Nick for a fraction of a second before turning back to the page. Nick caught her gaze for a moment and then went for his own backpack.

“If you want, you can borrow my pen,” he offered, handing the slightly-chewed pen to Holly. They both had a similar somewhat-disgusting habit of chewing on the end of their pens when they were using them. But if Holly minded the bite marks, she didn’t say anything. She accepted the writing implement with gratitude.

“Thank you!” She flashed him a winning smile. “You’re just the best!”

Nick felt his heart skip a beat. To see her smile at him like that, he would carry a thousand pens in his backpack.

“Now, where was I… oh, right, this line right here…” Holly tapped the end of her pen against her lips thoughtfully, causing Nick to squirm a little. He felt like a complete pervert, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

“What do you think if it was like this?” Holly asked, passing the paper over to Mary. Mary accepted it and looked it over, and her face brightened.

“Oh, yeah, that does sound a lot more natural!” She said, nodding.

Holly giggled. “No offense, Mary, but while your writing has a lot of detail, sometimes it seems like you’re writing scripture instead of narrative prose.”

Mary winced a little at that comment, and as much as it hurt Nick to do it, he had to agree. Still, he didn’t want to crush the poor thing completely.

“While I agree with Holly that your writing comes off a tad too preachy, I really like your attention to detail. Your scenes just come to life! They’re so vivid!” Nick praised her, and Mary squirmed in her seat a little, her cheeks flushing.

“Th-thanks,” she mumbled, smiling shyly up at him.

Nick didn’t see the slightly-miffed expression cross Holly’s face. If he had, maybe he would have been happy that she was feeling a little jealous.

But she took back the momentum fairly quickly. “I think you’re doing a really good job of setting the scene, and making us care about the plot,” Holly continued. “But I don’t really know if I care for the characters all the much.”

“You… you don’t?” Mary winced.

“Oh, no, I do,” Holly said, immediately walking back her previous statement. “It’s just… we’ve been with John for what is it, ten chapters now? And I still don’t feel that much of a connection to him. If you’re going for a really deep journey about emotional exploration and redemption like you said you were, then we really need to empathize with the protagonist. That’s what’s going to hook readers in.”

Mary nodded rapidly as she frantically scribbled down notes.

Nick smiled. Holly was nothing if not thorough. While her judgment could be very harsh, she went after Mary’s writing like an editor for a magazine, crossing out everything that didn’t suit the author’s purposes.

It was the kind of intense devotion to writing that made him wish he could be a writer himself, honestly. Oh, he was in the writing club, sure, because Holly had invited him after reading some of his poetry. And it wasn’t like he didn’t have any ideas for stories, either, he had dozens of interesting plots and characters bouncing around in his head.

But when it came to prose…

It was hard to describe. He could write out his pain for hours on the page, but when it came time to actually write something for other people, he just drew a blank and stared at the empty document file in front of him.

He needed some kind of inspiration.

For now, though? He was happy just sitting back and discussing his friends’ writing and watch them enjoy themselves. That was the kind of stuff that brightened his day.

“Let’s see… what else was there…” Holly sat back in her seat, chewing on the tip of his pen out of habit. Nick swallowed as he saw her teeth grind against the marks his own had left there. It was a strangely erotic action.

Yeah… I’m really a pervert for thinking this way, he thought, chastising himself. Only a complete freak would find it cute when a girl chews over his own bite marks.

Then Holly gasped. “O-oh!” She said, staring down at the pen in her hands. She ripped it from her lips and looked sheepishly up at Nick. “I’m sorry! I just… I wasn’t even thinking, and it’s your pen, too… I’m so sorry!”

“N-no, it’s fine,” Nick said, shaking his head. He tried to play it cool, like his heart wasn’t pounding with excitement at seeing Holly practically fellating his pen.

He’d had so many terrible almost-relationships that had completely fallen apart. But he was in a better place now; he really wanted to do this one right.

“I’m really sorry again,” Holly said, her cheeks a little pink. “It’s just… your pen is… it feels really nice in my mouth.”

Nick didn’t mind a compliment like that at all, weird as it sounded.

The two shared an awkward look with one another and then giggled.

Mary rolled her eyes. “Can we get back to editing, please?” She sighed.

Was she the only one here who could tell how much they both liked each other?

Even though it hurt her heart to think, she couldn’t deny it.

She put her own feelings aside, and wished them a silent encouragement with a smile.

“So you’re really not interested in writing?” Holly asked. The three of them had split up for the night, and were walking back to their dorms. It helped that they were all in the same building.

“I think you should!” Mary urged him. “It’s clear you really like writing. And your poems are so great!”

“Mary’s right,” Holly nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. “You could write some really evocative and resonant prose, Nick, I just know it!”

“I-I don’t know,” Nick said, trying to downplay their statements. “I like writing, sure, but I just do it for myself. I don’t think anyone would be that interested in what I write…”

“Wait, you mean you’ve already written something?” Holly narrowed her eyes curiously. “I wanna read! Can I read it?”

“Yeah!” Mary nodded in agreement. “Me too!”

“A-are you guys sure?” Nick asked, looking at the two of them.

“Absolutely!” Both friends said at the same time.

“Well… I mean… I guess so…” Nick relented. “But it’s a little late, don’t you guys think? What if we meet up tomorrow?”

Mary’s face fell. “I can’t make it tomorrow… I’ve got that meeting for my freshman intro course that I have to go to…”

“So it’ll just be Nick and me, then!” Holly said, flashing him a smile. “That work? We can meet up at your room.”

Holly in his room… a few thoughts flashed by his mind as he considered that. But he quickly dismissed them.

They were just writing friends. Nothing more was going to happen… right?

“Well, this is my stop,” Mary said, leaving the stairwell on the second floor. Holly and Nick were both a floor above her, in their own rooms. They kept talking as they headed up to the next level, and didn’t stop until they reached Holly’s doorway.

“So… tomorrow?” Holly asked. Nick was astounded by the hopeful look in her eye. She looked so eager that he apprehension meant nothing. He just nodded in agreement, thrilled to spend the day with her tomorrow.

“Yeah,” he echoed, his voice cracking a little. “Tomorrow.”

Holly smiled. “Good,” she nodded. “I’m looking forward to it.”

The two exchanged one last parting look, and then Holly slipped away into her room and was gone.

Nick spent the night trying to get together his scribblings into something vaguely representing a story. First he tried getting it all onto his computer, but he quickly realized the futility of that. After all most of this was scrawled into notebooks that served as diaries (journals, actually, to be clear. He was very much a guy who kept journals. Not diaries.) So instead of typing it all up, he just organized it so it looked nice. There wasn’t really a story formed, not a tangible one, but there was a clear direction in his years of release.

He woke up a little exhausted the next morning, having slept in almost until eleven. He’d fallen asleep at his desk, and his roommate hadn’t had the courtesy of waking him up! He quickly checked his phone and went white.

There was less than an hour until Holly was coming over!

Almost falling out of his chair, he scrambled over to his closet to grab a change of clothes and headed towards the communal showers. Once he was washed up, clean shaven, and dressed his best, he could finally breathe…

…Until he saw the state of his room.

It was a mess! A wreck! He couldn’t bring a girl over to see this! This was Holly, not Carly. Carly had never cared about how much of a slob he was, since she was worse in her own ways. But Holly was as neat as could be. None of her clothes ever wrinkled, and she never had so much as a hair out of place.

If things were going to work out between the two of them, then he needed to clean up his act, fast. But there was just so much stuff on the ground that he didn’t know where to start.

…Well, the first thing was obviously the dirty clothes. He grabbed a sweater off the floor and took a sniff, recoiling at the pungent smell. Definitely needed a wash. Or maybe a burning. Either way, he couldn’t just leave it around! If Holly took one whiff of that, she’d be disgusted!

Luckily, cleaning spray was a thing. If he couldn’t get rid of the foul smells coming from his room, maybe he could eliminate them? …Nope. The can was empty. Of course.

Resigned, Nick did the best he could. But he just didn’t have the time. So when Holly’s tiny hands knocked insistently on the door, he hung his head and went to greet her.

Damn. Did she have to look amazing?

She wore an unbuttoned cardigan over a bright blue blouse, and a pleated blue skirt that hung down to her knees. She had on leggings underneath, and shoes so bright they practically shined. She wore a blue shawl wrapped around her neck, adding to the air of dignity and class she provided, and as usual, her hair was shiny and curled into her iconic ponytail. She had parted her bangs, showing off her bright forehead and letting her sunny smile shine through.

Nick didn’t notice the nice clothes, or the fabulous hair. No, he couldn’t take his eyes off of hers. Because she looked gorgeous. A vision of loveliness with her perfectly-shadowed eyes, blushing cheeks, curled eyelashes, and smoky gaze. She looked like she was going out for a date, not coming over to read cringey writing!

…Maybe this was a date? No, no, he shouldn’t get his hopes up just yet. They were just friends. Even if her pupils did dilate a bit when their eyes met.

“Can I come in?” Her voice ached with hopefulness.

“Y-yeah! Sure, come on in!” Nick practically tripped over himself to let her inside. He prayed harder than Mary at morning mass that she wouldn’t find anything weird or off-putting.

Holly’s smile deepened as she stepped into the room, and cheeks dimpled. “Nice poster,” she said, pointing at a poster of an anime hanging from the wall. Nick went pale.

“It, um… it’s…”

“Your roommate’s?” She asked, raising her eyebrow.

Boy, if only he could say yes and throw that guy under the bus. But no, it was right over his bed. What else could he say?

“No, it’s mine,” he admitted, waiting for the worst. He’d gotten a lot of flack for liking anime back in high school, and even though Dani and Carly had gotten him into even more, Holly…

Holly always gave off the air that she read classier things. Like great English literature, or works from historical times.

“Cool, I love anime,” she grinned. “Have you seen that volleyball show?”

Nick’s brain stopped working for a second. “…No, no, I haven’t,” he replied, finally finding his voice. “Is it good?”

She shrugged. “I could go on about it for hours,” she said, looking around the room. It looked like her nostrils were flaring, but Nick figured it was a trick of the light. “...But I don’t think you brought me here to talk about your favorite shows, though, did you Nick?” She laughed, and he shook his head, a little embarrassed.

“Great! Then let’s get started! I can’t wait to see what you’ve written!” Holly scurried deeper into his room, heading over to his desk. But then she stopped herself. “…Actually, um… this is really embarrassing, but, uh… do you have anything to drink?”

“Oh! Drinks! Right…” Nick wanted to smack himself in the head. Of course he should be offering her drinks! He was trying to be a good host! Holly had invited him over to her room several times, and she’d always bake cookies! And he couldn’t even get her a glass of water?!”

Nick stumbled over to the refrigerator. “Uh, yeah… we’ve got soda,” he said, looking over his shoulder as Holly sat down on his bed. “Is soda…”

Wait… his bed?

Nick froze. He distinctly remembered as he was doing his final sweep, seeing a pair of boxer shorts lying on his blanket. Last night’s pair, haphazardly discarded in his rush to change. Did he pick them up!? He had to have, right!? No way could he have left those out! If he did, Holly would be screaming in disgust and storming out of the room right now, right?!

Nick slammed the door shut and whirled around, practically running back to the bed. Holly was rustling through her bag, and jumped a little. She quickly zipped it closed and turned back to him with a bright smile, and batted her eyelashes at him. Her cheeks looked even pinker for some reason.

“Well… that was fast,” she said, giving him an awkward laugh. “Ever consider being a waiter before?”

Nick tried to laugh at the joke, but he was too busy scanning the area around the bed as discretely as possible.

“…Everything okay?” Holly asked, her voice holding a tinge of anxiety. She fidgeted on his bed a little, rubbing her thighs together, and a brief wave of guilt rose across her face.

Did she really feel bad that he looked so worried? What an angel!

“Everything’s fine,” Nick said, trying to make it seem like not a big deal. “I was just wondering if you saw anything when you sat down?”

“Like what?” Holly asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

“…Nothing, no, it’s nothing,” Nick said, sighing in relief. He must have picked them up and just forgotten. Talk about dodging a bullet. “So, you, uh… wanted to read my stuff?”

She nodded. “You can email me if you like, but I figured that since you didn’t… you wanted to go over it together in person?” Again, there was that hopeful lilt in her voice. Even after coming into his dorm room and seeing how he lived, she wanted to spend time with him.

She really must have liked him. It was the only explanation Nick could think of at this point.

“I, uh… see, most of it’s in my journals,” Nick said awkwardly, gesturing to the notebooks scattered across his desk. “I tried copying it down onto my computer, but I gave up after the first few pages…”

Holly’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that would be just wonderful!” She said, touching the tips of her fingers together. “Please, by all means, I would love to see!”

Nick grinned like a fool and got the first notebook, and brought it over to her so she could read.