I helped them

“That does sound problematic... okay, yeah, I’ll help you, but let’s make it quick!”, I agreed nervously... or was I just excited? “Okay, well, erm... gather around I guess!”

The dwarves did not wait for another invite as they formed a line in front of me.

Four erect, thick dwarven cocks were stood there waiting as I knelt down to have a closer look.

“Well, how’s it lookin’ down there, laddie? Any insights, ye ken?”
“I... erm... hard to say yet, really.”

It was actually! They all looked pretty similar in size and girth so I had to do something. And, what’s the most convenient measurement everyone has?

Their hand!

So, naturally, I grabbed the first dick in front of me, wrapping both hands around it. My fingers couldn’t connect around it, but luckily only the head stuck out from my hands. Taking a mental note of this, I moved on to the next one...

...and a few minutes later, I had the measurements. There was one problem.

“So? What’s the verdict, laddie?”
“Well, it’s actually really close, but I just can’t tell who’s the biggest. Your cocks are so similar in size!”
“Really, laddie? Is that how yer folk get the job done? Ye offer to help, and there’s naught to show for it!”, the dwarf said, looking annoyed.
“No, it’s just that I... I don’t have any accurate way of measuring them!”
“How about using yer mouth? That should do it, right lads?”

They unanimously agreed so maybe it was worth the try?