I am the walrus, goo-goo g'joob

“Mary, are you sure about this?” Dawn asked, frowning. “Weren’t you going to help with breakfast? Focusing on this seems a little… excessive.”

“I said, it’s the principle of the matter!” Mary huffed, holding her head up high. “I was slighted, and that is not fair!”

She turned to the empty space in front of her. “Dakota! Come out, we need to have a talk!”

Dakota blinked back into existence in the center of the lounge, right in front of the redhead. She didn’t look pleased. “Seriously?” She asked, exasperated, scratching her head. “I have things to do, you realize this, yes?”

“Don’t you control the flow of time on this island?” Dawn pointed out. She wasn’t convinced that what Mary was doing was a smart thing to do, but if the other woman was determined to go through with it, she was at least willing to give her some support.

Even if it did result in Dakota shooting her a particularly nasty look.

“…Yes, that’s correct, I do control the flow of time on the island,” Dakota admitted, raising her cane. “Which means, if I were so inclined, I could choose to accelerate the flow of time around your breakfast, and burn the eggs those two are working so hard to cook for you.”

Dawn got the message.

“…You know, if they don’t first.”

“Lay off!” Gina groaned. “This shit is hard, okay?!”

“You’re making scrambled eggs,” Dani pointed out. “Of all the egg dishes, that has got to be the easiest one to make.”

“Nuh-uh. Raw eggs are way easier. Want me to prove it?” Gina grabbed an egg from the carton and hoisted it above her head, pretending she was going to chuck it at the tomboy. Dani just rolled her eyes and grunted in exasperation.

Dakota pulled up her lips into a smirk. “Fine, fine, I won’t threaten your breakfast,” she relented. Then she turned to Mary. “Alright, what business could the master’s wife have with me, hmm?” She asked innocently. “If this is about the boon you received, I’m sorry but all sales are final.”

“Huh?” Mary stared blankly at Dakota. “…Sales? But… I didn’t buy Nola or anything…”

Dakota wore a serene expression on her face, like a woman who had a great burden recently lifted from her shoulders. “Nevertheless, we will not be accepting any returns or exchanges at this time. Please enjoy!”

“Hey!” Nola pouted from her post in the kitchen. “I’m doing my best!”

“That’s what I’m afraid of… …Now as I was saying, Mary, if you’re already frustrated with Nola’s performance, I’m sorry, but-”

“This isn’t about Nola,” Mary interjected. “This is about me not getting the VP I deserve!”

Dakota raised her eyebrow. “…Mary, you are no longer part of the competition,” she pointed out. “You do not deserve any VP whatsoever.”

Sylvia winced. “Ooh, ouch…”

“No, I’m talking about before that,” Mary said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Back when I was in the running, when I got pregnant, I didn’t receive any Victory Points for it, even though I was the first person that my husband impregnated!”

She put quite a lot of emphasis on the word “first”. Dawn wanted to point out that Mary was the only person Nick had impregnated, but she thought better about it.

Dakota stared blankly at Mary’s adamant expression for a few seconds, then slumped her shoulders and let out a long, exasperated sigh.

“Haaaaahhh… what a pain in the ass,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

“What?! Pain in the-!” Mary sputtered, turning red. Her arms fell to her sides. “All I’m saying is that I didn’t receive the VP I should have gotten!”

Dakota straightened up, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh? And that’s my fault, is it?” She asked coldly.

Rose whistled. “Uh-oh! Now you’ve done it!”

“Rose, hush,” Marley chided the actress.

Mary’s resolve was momentarily shaken. “N-no, well… it’s not your fault per se… I-I mean, you were there and all, you actually helped me conceive, and Sylvia was the host at the time, so I guess, uh…”

She looked to Dawn for support, but the cat girl pointedly avoided her gaze. Don’t bring me into this. You’re the one who wanted to start this whole mess in the first place!

“Oh, so it’s Sylvia’s fault then?” Dakota drummed her fingers on her cane and glanced over at Sylvia with a smirk. The red-haired former host grinned and waved innocently.

Mary gasped and quickly shook her head. “No, that’s not what I-! I mean… um… Sylvia?”

“What, going to me for help after throwing me under the bus like that?” Sylvia giggled. “That’s a little much even for you, my girl! Listen, it’s like I said, when I was setting the rules for this season, I didn’t include anything about getting pregnant as a potential reward, because that’s how Dakota always ran things before.”

Dakota nodded. “That’s right.”

Dawn noticed a strange flicker of emotion cross the woman’s pale face. It didn’t last nearly long enough for her to fully grasp it, but it definitely gave the feeling like there was more to this decision than a clerical oversight.

“Now, since I’m back in power, if any of you lovely ladies wish to get pregnant, just know that it will be worth a hefty sum of Victory Points,” Dakota said, surveying the lounge area. She looked at Rose in particular, and the blonde bristled. “And again, first come, first served.”

Mary puffed up her cheeks in a pout. She didn’t think that sounded fair at all! “So I don’t get VP for it, then? Even though I…?”

“Even though you got exactly what you wanted out of the arrangement, are married to the man you love, and will be bound to him for the rest of time as his first wife?” Dakota bluntly interrupted her. “…No. You don’t get VP for that.”

Well, when Dakota put it that way, maybe Mary was being a little silly.

“Tell you what though! As a reward for being such a trooper, here. I can give you a little something to make up for it.” Dakota walked over and patted Mary on the head like she was a good puppy earning a treat. “Good girl! There there.”

Mary sucked on her lip and gave Dakota the stink-eye. “Very funny,” she growled.

“I’m still a little confused,” Morgana said, scratching her cheek. “Why wouldn’t you give out VP for pregnancies before? I mean… when you think about it, that sounds like the perfect thing to reward with a lot of VP, right? Getting pregnant… I mean, you know, I’m sure a lot of people find that sort of thing sexy, right? H-hypothetically…”

Her pale cheeks flushed and she looked away from the host, realizing she may have tipped her hand just a little.

Holly walked over to the porn-addicted goth and patted her on the arm. “I read doujins about that stuff too, Morgana. You’re not alone.” Many a night Holly had schlicked herself to sleep to the idea of being grabbed up by a band of orcs or goblins and filled to the brim with their spawn. Before she met Nick, anyway. After that, well…

…Maybe the chastity belt around her waist was a good thing.

“I-I’m not obsessed with it!” Morgana screeched. “It’s just, um…”

Okay, fine, she had some degenerate fantasies too. But that wasn’t anything to condemn her for!

Mary sighed rubbed her temples in exasperation. The other girls really weren’t helping with this, but it was fine. “Look, um… I get it. There’s probably a lot of stuff I don’t understand. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“Well okay then,” Dakota replied evenly.

Again, Dawn saw a flicker of complex emotions play out across the host’s face. This is more than just thinking about the show. What’s up with her?

Clearly the notion of Nick getting girls pregnant wasn’t something Dakota was opposed to. Which meant there were a lot of questions going unanswered at the moment.

But with Dakota’s track record, Dawn wasn’t exactly in a hurry to press the other woman for answers.

“Now, if there’s nothing else, I’ll be-”

“Wait!” Rose stood up and approached the host.

“Hmm? Oh…” Dakota turned to the blonde, and the myriad of emotions twisting her features gave way for a single, overpowering one, amusement. “And what can I do for you?”

“…I want to try something from my bounty sheet,” Rose said, holding up the folded paper. “You left earlier, before I had a chance.”

“You were otherwise occupied at the time,” Dakota pointed out. “That’s hardly my fault. But yes, go ahead. What would you like…?”

“This one right here,” Rose said, pointing out the bounty to the host. “Accepting a random temporary clothing transformation.”

Accept a Random Temporary Clothing Transformation (24 consecutive hours) – 300 BP

“Oh? What a disappointment,” Dakota said with an amused smile. “And here I thought you were aiming for something worth a bit more… say, in the 5000 BP range?”

Sylvia smirked, and Rose’s face turned scarlet.

“Now’s the best time to do it,” Rose replied. “Since Nick is going to be with Vivian for the day, if things go wrong, he won’t be here to see it.”

Dakota considered that. She could reject Rose’s request, and say that any bounties without Nick being present violated the spirit of the list, but she decided not to **** the issue too much. With all the BP the girls were starting to accrue, Nick may find himself on a lot of Dream Alley dates in the near future, and it wouldn’t do to negate Rose’s bounty transformation altogether.

“And another thing,” Rose continued, “I have two bounties to do with clothing, but the one where I get a random transformation is only worth 300 BP, while the one copying someone’s style is 500 BP? That doesn’t seem like those numbers are correct!”

Dakota rolled her eyes and sighed. “What is this, ‘complain about bookkeeping’ day? Ridiculous. Mimicking the style of another contestant is more intrusive than a simple clothing transformation, Rose, considering the clothing transformations of some of the contestants here,” she pointed out.

“Eh… well, I guess that’s true,” the blonde admitted, scratching her cheek. “…Anyway, clothing transformation, please.”

While she had Dakota in the room, she wanted to get this done. She was hungry and she hadn’t even gotten breakfast yet! Plus, this was the perfect opportunity to shift the focus off of pregnancy and babies and all that stuff Mary had been focusing on.

“Well, alright then,” Dakota said, waving her cane. “One random clothing transformation it is, here you are.”

A dark light shot from the cane and engulfed Rose’s body, and the effects were immediate. All the buttons on Rose’s pajama top came undone at once, causing the two sides of the shirt to slip away and reveal her cleavage and slender belly.

Rose blushed.

“Eh!?”

“Congratulations!” Dakota chirped.

• So Buttoned Up!: It just won’t do to be all stuffy and buttoned-up when the master isn’t even present. The contestant will find that starting now, it is impossible for her to close any article of clothing around her body. For every article of clothing she tries to wear, all the buttons will come unbuttoned, and all the zippers will come unzipped, any knots will come untied. Furthermore, the contestant’s wardrobe will be limited to only articles of clothing that come with those features, not including underwear.

Rose’s eyes widened like saucers. She was momentarily stunned, but restrained herself rather quickly and sighed, scratching her head. “…Yeah, okay, I kind of figured it would be something like this,” she relented.

Dakota raised her eyebrow. “Really? Because this is quite a specific one.”

“No, I mean that you’d use it to do something humiliating,” Rose clarified. “What, was I supposed to think you’d give me a transformation like ‘Can only wear pink’ or something? Come on, I’m not that gullible.”

Dakota shrugged. That was a matter of debate, but she wasn’t interested in debating it now. “Well, are you satisfied?” She asked. “If there’s nothing else, I really must be going.”

Holly raised her hand.

“No, Holly, I’m not giving you that transformation,” Dakota answered without even listening to the brunette’s question. “Not even temporarily.”

Holly lowered her hand.

With that, the host popped away again, leaving the girls to think about what to do from here.

“Well, I don’t know about you all, but I’m going to go change into something else,” Rose said, tugging both sides of her pajama top together and tying a knot beneath her chest similarly to how Mary had to wear her shirts now. As expected, the knot immediately came undone. The blonde sighed. “…If there’s anything to even wear.”

Luckily she was staying in the Fashion Suite this round, so there were quite a lot of choices available. If only Vivian wasn’t on her date! She might have been able to rely on the fashionista’s tips!

“I’ll be back for breakfast,” the actress added before ducking out of the room, leaving the other girls to deal with things.

Rose had another reason for excusing herself. There was a hypothesis she was itching to test.

“Ah, just as I thought,” she smirked, closing the door behind her. “You did scurry off first chance you got.”

Ella jumped off the bed, her eyes wide in surprise. “R-Rose! Um… hey…”

She rubbed her eyes, which had slight bags beneath them, and tiny little crusty flakes as well. It was clear that she had been trying to catch up on her sleep. The masquerade mask she had been give as her boon rested on the table beside the bed, unused.

“How are you doing?” The actress asked, approaching the cautious girl. “The others are eating breakfast, you know. Or they will be, anyway.”

“Yeah… figured…” Ella rubbed her stomach unconsciously. She looked at the statuesque woman in front of her and blushed. “Um… wh-why are you… dressed like that?”

Since the last time Ella saw Rose, the blonde’s clothes had come apart, apparently.

Rose laughed. “Long story. Not important.” She shrugged off her top and stripped away the rest, and surveyed the room for anything worth trying on today. “Anyway, how are you feeling right now, Ella?”

“Eh?” Ella blinked, surprised. “Um… I… I’m really tired…” she said, yawning. That much was clear; she hadn’t even changed out of her pajamas yet.

“Tired, huh?” Rose raised her eyebrow. “Is that why you ran off first chance you got?”

The dark-haired girl winced and looked down, her bangs falling over her eyes. “That was…”

Ella had been overwhelmed last night. There were so many people, and then Cinder had come out, and…

On top of that…

Her eyes quickly flickered over to the mask on the nightstand, a giveaway that didn’t go unnoticed by Rose. The blonde set down the top she had been considering and turned to give the latina her full attention.

“Worried about that mask, huh?” Rose smirked. “I would be, too. Invisibility seems like a pretty nice power to have! Depending on how you use it, anyway.”

Ella gulped. She remembered the wording of her boon very distinctly. It had stuck in her mind ever since she was chosen for this one.

Mask of Invisibility: Contestant will receive a special mask that, when worn, allows them to turn invisible. It only has enough charge to last for an hour each day, however.

“I, um… I thought… I would save it for the night,” Ella said. “I could use it when I have to go to the Master’s Suite and clean up. That would be the best thing for everyone, right? If Nick can’t see me, then…”

Rose was surprised by that thought. “Wow, that’s actually really clever, Ella.” Of course, she would never use such a valuable boon that way, but she was impressed that Ella would think to. “You’ve got a nice little head on your shoulders!”

Ella scrunched up her face into a frown. “…I’m not dumb, Rose,” she replied in a tone that almost sounded like Cinder.

“Maybe not, but that still doesn’t seem like the smartest use of your boon,” Rose said, walking over to the girl. Ella was impressing her more and more- at first she thought the latina would be just as high-strung as Morgana, but she was a lot more complicated than that. “I know what I’d do if I had won that mask.”

Ella raised her eyebrow. “…Spy on Nick… and figure out what he thinks about you? Yeah, I already had that idea.”

Rose’s jaw dropped. “…Well, aren’t you clever?” She sniffed. “Anyway, if you want to use it like that, that’s your prerogative. And here I thought the reason you were hiding out in here waiting for me was so you could make use of my brilliant advice!”

Ella stiffened up and her amber eyes widened. “…Waiting?” She squeaked. “I-I wasn’t…”

“Oh come on, of course you were,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. “Come on, I’m not Morgana or Dawn, those two have, like, negative guile. If you were trying to catch up on your sleep, you could have snuck off to some corner of the hotel we never would have thought to look for you, or just pretended to be napping when I walked in, instead of greeting me. Instead, we’re talking. So yeah, obviously you’re waiting for me, so what’s up? How can I help?”

She pulled her lips up into a saccharine smile that Dakota would be proud of and leaned forward, intimidating Ella slightly with her appealing, underwear-clad frame that made the meager girl look scrawny in comparison.

Ella blushed.

“…Okay, um… yes, I was waiting for you,” she relented, sighing. “I wanted your advice.”

“My advice on getting Nick to like you, right?” Rose’s blunt accusation smashed through Ella’s composure like a wrecking ball, leaving a ruin in her wake.

Ella stared at her with an open mouth.

“H-how-?!”

“Because I may be an expert on many things, Ella, but my excellent knowledge of Nick Reynolds and how to win his heart are among my finest qualities,” Rose boasted, preening under Ella’s admiring gaze. “It only makes sense that you would seek the counsel of the one who knows him best.”

“…Mary would know him better,” Ella said quietly. “But I’m no good with her…”

Rose scowled, not at all thrilled to hear that. But she let it slide. “So you’re more comfortable with me, then?”

Ella nodded timidly. It was embarrassing, talking to Rose of all people about her desire to get closer to Nick. But talking with anyone else seemed so… out of the question. Morgana and Dawn would be too nosy. Rose seems really stupid, so if I just don’t say anything I can probably get her to talk and talk and talk… yeah, that’s the best idea.

“Well, you’re in luck!” Rose said proudly, holding her head up high. “I’ll be glad to let you reap the benefits of my wisdom! But first, you gotta do one thing for me in return.”

Ella tensed. “Wh-what?” She asked cautiously. This was the risk she’d been wary of. Dawn or Morgana or most of the other girls probably would have helped her for free, but Rose was the kind of woman to demand compensation.

Rose’s jovial tone turned suddenly serious. “…I want to talk to Cinder,” she said.

Ella’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t have heard that properly… could she?

“Cinder!?”