Hurricane Alba

Rip: Rip Urvulva here reporting from St. Petersburg, FL where category 5 hurricane Alba just grazed on its way up the Gulf of Mexico. Oh my goodness Chuck you will not believe what just happened we will see if we can find the falling woman and get back to you.

Rip: Chuck can you hear me Chuck? We have found the flying woman, this is Rip Urvulva here with the flying woman of Hurricane Alba, Miss do you care to comment?

The woman struggling to cover her nakedness yelled out: can’t you just help me, I was flung wherever the fuck I am by this fucking storm!

Chuck: Rip where did the naked woman come from because she seems confused?

Rip: Good question Chuck let me ask. Miss since you don’t seem to recognize this location where did you come from?

Woman: Fuck just give me some clothes! I was trying to bring my princess inside the yacht when something hit me and I landed in that bush! I’m important bitch you need to help me!

Rip: why were you riding out the hurricane in a yacht?

Woman: my boyfriend and I saw that it wasn’t supposed to hit hear so we docked, and I was flung to this dump.

Amy the co-anchor: Rip why is she naked?

Rip: Amy, I will find out. Miss people want to know why are you naked?

Woman: I lost my robe in the wind. Get me some fucking clothes you little sucked asshole.

Chuck: Do you have a name for this woman?

Rip: Ma’am we would like to get you some help perhaps if you gave us your name someone could help your boyfriend locate you.

Woman: My name is Bethany Wheeler, and my boyfriend is Small Hands.

Chuck: Oh she’s into acting. (Chuck uses air quotes around “acting”)