Housewarming Gift

"Our maid is great and all, but I think we should get another housewarming gift," said Hailey.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well," said Hailey. "I've always wanted a dog, but I'm allergic."

"I see where this is going," I said. "You want me to wish a celebrity to be our pet dog, right?"

"That's why I love ye," said Hailey.

"All right," I said. "But it has to be a woman we both hate."

"O' course," said Hailey. "How about Ashley Benson? We're always saying she has resting bitch face."

"Sounds good," I said. "I wish Ashley Benson was here in our mansion wearing a collar, a dog ear headband, and mittens that look like dog paws, with a dog tail butt plug in her ass. I wish she was acting like a puppy but freaking out mentally. I wish she could eat dog food with no ill effects."

"All done!" Hailey said with a tip of her hat.